Sail With Me (A Discovery Series Book) (12 page)

My eyes were drawn to the V of chest left exposed by the tunic. I moved
my hand to touch him, but caught myself before making actual contact. I
recovered by placing my hand on his shoulder instead in a motion to help him
recline. He eased back with my assistance, and I pulled the blanket up to his
shoulders.

“Thanks,” Daniel mumbled as he rolled over onto his right side and tucked
the blanket under his chin.

“Of course.”

“You’ll come back, right? Because you’re concerned.” His eyes were closed
now, but a grin played on his lips.

“I’ll come back.” I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.

“Good,” he whispered. “Something about you,
Charlie, makes me feel better.” He

muttered
something else I couldn’t understand as sleep overtook him. I stood and stole a
few more moments of covert admiration.

“Something about you, Daniel,” I whispered, daring to trace a finger
along his smooth cheek, “makes me feel.”

****

I stayed in the crow’s nest until the sky turned black in an attempt to
sequester myself. Scanning the ocean kept my mind busy so only a portion of it
could think about Daniel. Memories of my mother being sick pushed through all
afternoon. Daniel’s skin looked like hers. A dull, yellow-gray. The fever was
similar as was the horrendous coughing. Her illness had also come on as
suddenly as Daniel’s. It left as quickly as it came, taking her with it.

That’s what frightened me most. That he’d die without knowing who I
really was and how I felt about him.

Fumbling down the pegs on the mast in the dark, I shook my head to clear
the morbid thoughts. The top deck was nearly vacant save for the few night
crewmen scattered about at their posts. Squinting, I could make out the vague
outline of Walter, the quartermaster, at the helm. The captain had to be
tending to Daniel.

Deciding Captain Finley deserved some time with his nephew, I descended
the ladder to my bunk.

“Charlie?”

“Yes?” I went back up the last two steps at the sound of my name.

“’Tis Russ, boy.” The carpenter stepped into the light of one of the
lanterns. “Just come from the captain’s quarters to see Daniel. He be askin’
for you.”

“Daniel’s asking for me?” I was more pleased than was safe to let on.

“No, Charlie,” Russ said. “The captain is. Daniel’s still sleeping—though,
truth be told, it’s a right restless sleep. Tossing and turning something
fierce, he is.”

I found it hard to swallow as thoughts of the last night with my mother
flashed across my mind. I recalled her sweat-soaked hair plastered to her
forehead and neck as she had wriggled under the bedclothes in what had appeared
to be a painful slumber.

“I’m headed there now then. Thank you, Russ.”

I sprinted down the rest of the ladder and navigated through the darkened
passages below deck until I stood before the door to Captain Finley’s cabin.
Knocking softly, I waited outside with only the loud drumming of my heartbeat
in my ears as company.

A shuffling inside the cabin grew louder as someone approached the door.
Dim lantern light spilled out from inside when the door was opened.

“Ah, Charlie. Come in.” Captain Finley stepped aside so I could enter.
His features were haggard as if he too had fallen ill.

“Are you feeling all right, sir?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Just worried.” He motioned to the bed where Daniel moaned
in his sleep. “He’s been sounding off like that for the last hour now. I think
he might be in pain.”

I approached the bed, trying hard to control the quiver in my lip. “Has
the doctor been here?”

“He has. Said there’s nothing else we can do but wait.”

Wait.

The word brought my blood to a boil. The fool doctor who came to see my
mother had told me the same thing. He should have told me to wait for her to
die for that was what he had meant.

I couldn’t do that here. I would not wait for Daniel to die.

“No.” I shook my head as I approached the bed. “We can’t wait. We can’t
do nothing.”

“What else can we do, boy? We can get him no other help out here in the
middle of the Atlantic. If we were still in England perhaps…” His voice trailed
off. I turned to find the captain’s face buried in his massive hands. He heaved
in a ragged breath and when he turned his eyes to me, they were rimmed with
unshed tears.

“He’s one of my own,” he said in a hushed tone. “Not just a nephew, but a
son. He’s had enough trouble in his life. Only since you became part of the crew
have I seen him enjoying himself again. If he… I can’t…”  

Captain Finley sank onto a stool by the bedside. He took Daniel’s hand in
his own. Daniel let out another moan as he writhed beneath the blanket that
only partially covered him now. His tunic was soaked again, and his coloring
had worsened.

“Go to the galley.” I tugged on the captain’s shoulder. I was unsure of
how to console him. His fears were my fears as well. “Mix up a tea with ginger
and thyme.”

Captain Finley looked at me with a questioning expression then his brows
rose. “A tea, yes. I’ll go make a tea.”

The captain’s spirits improved now that he had a task to do. I wasn’t
sure if it would help Daniel at all, but I needed some time alone with him, and
the captain needed to feel he was doing something besides waiting.

I pushed the stool aside to sit on the bed right beside Daniel. He
mumbled then his eyes fluttered open. He sat upright, clutching my arm. He
looked around the room with wild eyes and coughed as he drew in a breath. His
own lungs were choking the life out of him.

I placed the palm of my hand on his chest. “Easy, Daniel. Breathe nice
and easy for me.”

Taking his hand, I brought it to my chest so he could feel the rhythm of
regular breathing as I kept my hand on his chest. I was careful to put his hand
high up, closer to the base of my throat than to my heart or ribs… or breasts.
His hand was fiery through my sweater and tunic so much so I sweated a bit
myself. His shoulders rose and fell as he struggled to match my breathing.

“In and out. Nice and smooth.”

Within a few moments, Daniel breathed in perfect time with me. The
coughing had stopped, the feral look in his eyes abated. Fresh beads of sweat
dotted his forehead and trickled down the side of his face. Leaning toward the
bedside table, I took a cloth out of the water basin and wrung it out.

Moving closer to Daniel to dab the cloth on his brow, I stopped when his
hand shifted lower on my chest. His wide blue gaze bored into mine. His cheeks
were flushed, but it had less to do with the fever plaguing him and more to do
with his unintentional discovery.

He drew his hand away slowly, but his eyes never left mine. A long moment
of silence passed as we simply studied each other. My mind scrambled to come up
with a reasonable explanation, with something to say that would make my lies
forgiven.

“You’re a… you’re a girl,” he whispered. 

Daniel was never going to speak to me again. Served me right. My eyes
filled up. It would be unbearable not talking to him anymore.

And then, amidst his fevered features, the slow curve of a grin changed
his shocked expression.  

“I knew,” he began in a raspy whisper that led to more coughing. He
covered his mouth with the crook of his arm as he hacked, but his eyes quickly
settled back on my face. He took the damp cloth from my hands and dabbed at his
own forehead.

After a moment of trying to get his breathing back on track, he said, “I
knew there was more to why I liked you so much, Charlie.” He took my hand in
his and brought it up to his lips. His eyes, though watery from the coughing,
never left mine. With a feathery light touch, he kissed the back of my hand.
“I’m Daniel Connor. Pleased to meet you, Miss…?”

“Charlotte,” I whispered back. “Charlotte Denham.”

Daniel stared at me, more shock apparent in his eyes. “
The
Charlotte Denham?” His smile grew wider, and his skin improved in color.

I nodded and he narrowed his eyes as if trying to picture me as I really
was.

“Well…” he said. “I am truly honored to make your acquaintance, Miss
Denham.”

“Are you really?” The words rushed out. “You’re not angry with me for
lying to you?”

“I think you’re a rat for lying to me.” He released my hand. “But I think
I can manage to forgive you if you tell me it’s been sheer torture having to
pretend to be a boy around me.”

I reached my hand out to his face, but hesitated. I wanted to cup his
cheek in my palm so badly. To touch him as I’d been dreaming of doing night
after night.

“Sheer torture indeed.”

A few more bouts of coughing attacked him, but each time they ended, he
smiled at me, his expression showing equal parts disbelief, curiosity, and—to
my delight—interest.  

My smile matched his, and again a long moment of regarding one another
passed between us. Daniel looked at me as if it were the first time he saw me.

“I’ve been having this need to be close to you,” he said, clearing his
throat and wincing at the ache that must have caused. “But I couldn’t figure
out why.”

“I’m different.”

“Very different.”

“Absolutely breathtakingly different?” I asked, thinking back to Daniel’s
description of Captain Denham’s daughter that day we were on the docks.

Grazing my short hair with his hand then taking my hand in his, Daniel
put on a face suggestive of deep contemplation. “Yes,” he said. “Breathtaking
is surely the right word.”

I did touch his cheek with my other hand then. His flesh was still warm
with fever, but he pressed his face into my palm. His eyes closed, and for one
moment, everything was perfect.

A rattling at the door a moment later made us both drop our hands.

“My uncle.” Violent coughing was the result of Daniel’s panic and he
balled the blankets beneath him in his fist.

“You can’t tell him,” I said.

He shook his head in agreement, not able to respond due to the coughing.

I slipped away onto the stool as Captain Finley opened the door and
entered the cabin.

“Ah, Daniel, you’re awake,” the captain said. “I’ve made you some tea.
Charlie here suggested it. From the sound of things, you definitely need it.”

“Tea, yes,” Daniel managed, shooting me a quick glance. “Thank you,
Uncle.”

“You still sound like hell, but you look better somehow.” Captain Finley
handed Daniel the mug. “Doesn’t he look better, Charlie?” He slapped me on the
shoulder, and I tumbled off the stool. Daniel stifled a laugh behind the rim of
the mug, and I had to fight to remain serious myself.

“Aye, Captain, he does look better indeed.” He looked wonderful even if
he was ill.

“I feel better, Uncle Samuel,” Daniel said, his voice still scratchy.
“Like a new person.”

In that moment, this adventure of mine had become much more than a mere
trip to the Americas.

 Where would I wind up now?           

Daniel recovered rather quickly after he had learned my secret. Either
the ginger thyme tea worked a miracle or his discovery encouraged his body to
mend itself so he could further investigate me. Whatever the case, in two days
time he was out of his uncle’s quarters and back to his regular regimen of
work. Captain Finley was relieved. The doctor was baffled.

Me?

I was thrilled.  

I caught Daniel watching me often when others were present. He didn’t say
anything to set the crew to wondering, but I enjoyed looking up from my work
and seeing his blue eyes on me. He stopped below the crow’s nest and squinted
up at me on three occasions during my time there today. Though having my secret
known even by one person was dangerous, I was so glad that one person was
Daniel. He wasn’t angry with me for pretending to be a boy. In fact, he was
amused I was a girl.

We were alone in the galley tidying up after supper on Daniel’s first day
back to work. I finished washing the bowls and turned to find him leaning on
one of the water barrels as he had in many of my vivid dreams about him. The
mere sight of him in that position had me smiling.

“What’s that smile for?” he said.

I scanned the galley, verifying its emptiness. “You have no idea how many
times I’ve pictured you in that exact spot, leaning in that exact way, looking
at me with that exact stare.”

“Really?” He raised an eyebrow, his face becoming even more pleasing. He
looked down at himself. “There’s nothing special about the way I am right now.”

“Well,” I began in little more than a whisper, my cheeks growing warm. “I
suppose it’s what comes
after
I pictured you like this that would make a
person smile.”

“I see.” Daniel’s grin grew larger. “And what happens after?”

I shot a look to the open galley door and brought my eyes back to
Daniel’s face. “Let’s just say it involves that mouth of yours.”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid, Charlie, I don’t understand what you
mean. Think you’re going to have to show me.”

His trickery was entertaining and tempting, but again the open doorway
concerned me. He followed my gaze this time. “Don’t worry about that.”

He eased off the water barrel and slipped his hand beneath his tunic. He pulled
out a long piece of thin rope on which hung an old key. Crossing to the door of
the galley, Daniel closed it, locking it securely.

“This is the one room, besides my uncle’s quarters, on the
Rose
that has a locked door. It’s meant to be a safe place to hide or protect cargo
should we run into pirates or the like. This is the only key to the galley.” He
dangled the key on the rope still around his neck.

Now my smile matched his as he stepped over to me in two long strides. I
lifted my chin to look him in the eye. “Clever, aren’t you?” I grabbed the key
and tugged him closer.

“Mmm-hmm.” Daniel leaned in so the heat of his body made my skin warm. He
took Benjamin’s old cap off my head and dropped it onto the wooden table behind
me. “I’ll bet this was like spun gold before you had to cut it.” He brushed his
hand through my hair, which hung below my ears now. Not quite as long as
Daniel’s at his jaw, but close.

“When I came up with this ridiculous plan, cutting my hair was the only
thing I felt bad about,” I said. “My mother had hair just like mine.”

“I see. And this?” He jabbed a finger into where my stomach should have
been and chuckled when he found it to be so soft.

“An extra shirt of my brother’s.” I pulled Eric’s balled up tunic out
from under my clothes and placed it on the table next to the hat.

Shaking his head, Daniel moved his hand to my cheek. His touch was so
soft, so gentle, that it made me shiver a bit as he traced the edge of my jaw
with his index finger.

“Looking at you now, Charlie, I don’t know why I ever believed you were a
boy. I mean, of course you’re a girl. Look at you. You’re beautiful.”

He put his hand on the back of my neck and slowly pulled me closer to
him, lowering his face to mine. “Let’s see if I can get this right.”

I had but a second to smile before his lips were on my cheek. I held my
breath as he trailed to my mouth and kissed me. His lips teased mine with slow,
gentle nips and I savored the gingery taste of him. As I kissed him back, I had
a fleeting thought that if time where to stand still on a single moment, this
would be the moment I would pick. I had never felt a man’s lips on my own. Had
never tasted anything so wonderful. How did people go around doing other things
when they could be doing this?

Daniel pulled away so he could look at my face. “How was that?”

“I’m going to have to see that again to make an educated assessment.”

Laughing, he drew me close again. “Whatever the lady wishes.”

This time his hand moved from my neck to my lower back, and I placed my
hands on his shoulders. My heart pounded against my ribs, and I could feel
Daniel’s doing the same as our lips met again. This time it wasn’t so gentle.
The heat in this kiss raised my temperature and had me wishing he would never pull
away.

Releasing me, he folded his arm across his chest with mock impatience.
“Well?”

“An excellent reenactment of my visions of this particular moment, but
that is not to say that we shouldn’t practice. Often.”

“I’ll agree to those terms.” Daniel bowed.

Though I didn’t want our stolen moment to end, it had to. “We should get
to our bunks. The others will wonder where we are.”

Daniel’s lower lip puckered out in a hint of a pout. So irresistible that
I had to kiss him once more.

He mussed my hair before slapping Benjamin’s cap back on my head. “This
your brother’s too?”

I shook my head. “That’s Benjamin’s.”

“I see,” Daniel said. “He told me to watch over you. Were you two—”

“No,” I said before he could finish. “Benjamin and I are friends. Best
friends.”

Daniel chewed on his bottom lip. “He’s waiting for you to come back
though, isn’t he?”

“If I go back to England, he will be there, yes. It is his home.” A
sliver of guilt crept in over my feelings for Daniel and Benjamin’s feelings
for me. Benjamin wanted us to be more than friends. I wanted Daniel. If I did
go back to England, what would happen?

“You’re not promised to him, are you?” Daniel asked, an accusing edge to
his voice—one I had not heard since first meeting him.

I pushed him back so I could gain some breathing space. “What do you take
me for? I wouldn’t be here kissing you if I was promised to Benjamin.”

“You’ve faked your appearance for months, Charlie,” Daniel started. “How
do I know what else you’ll do?”

“How do you know what else I’ll
lie
about? Is that what you mean?”
I took a step closer to him, my eyes glaring into his. I poked my finger into
his chest. “Cripes. Maybe if men weren’t so pig-headed, I wouldn’t have to
resort to lying to get what I want.”

How could I ever have expected Daniel to understand me? He was no
different than my father, who thought I should be promised away and never have
any adventure at all.

I stuffed my extra padding under my tunic and stomped to the galley door.
I tried to yank it open but forgot Daniel had locked it.

“The key.” I held out my hand. “Let me have it.”

“You can’t go out there like this,” Daniel said.

“Like what?” I shot back.

“Like a dragon, all breathing fire and leaving smoke behind.”

“Well, I don’t want to be locked in here with
you
.” I folded my
arms across my chest in what I hoped was an aloof gesture.

“I have the key,” Daniel said, “so I’m in charge.”

I huffed out a breath and stamped my boot to the floor. Daniel took a few
steps toward me.

“Charlie, look at me.”

I threw daggers at him.

“All right,” he said. “Now look at me as if you don’t want to behead me.”

He stepped another couple of paces closer. His sawdust scent whispered
around me, and I held my breath. I had more difficulty controlling my body’s
reaction to him now that we had kissed. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “That was incredibly rude of me.”

“Yes, it was.”

“I guess,” Daniel began, “I find it unbelievable you aren’t promised to
someone. Every man in Southampton has got to want you for his own.”

“Oh, save your nonsen—” 

Daniel shot his hand out and clamped it over my mouth. “It’s not
nonsense, Charlie. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re willing to risk
everything to make your dreams come true.” He slid his hand off my mouth and
leaned in closer to me. His gaze settled on my lips. “I’m hoping you’re willing
to forgive me, let me kiss these again, and make
my
dreams come true.”
He brushed a finger along my bottom lip.

Well, cripes. What was I supposed to do? My angry ego wanted to slap him,
but my body disagreed.

“I’ll forgive you,” I said after a pathetically short moment of mental
deliberation.

“And a kiss?” His grin almost made me crumble. Almost.

“Maybe later.” I had to get out of the galley if I was going to stick to
those words. “Unlock this.” I rapped my knuckles on the door behind me.

“Fine.” Daniel pulled the key out and unlocked the door. “You’re free to
go, miss.”

My fingers closed around the door handle, but I turned around instead.
Daniel was standing close enough I didn’t have to move far to catch his lips
with mine. When I pulled away, his eyes were wider and bluer than ever.

“I decided that now was later.” I spun on my boot heel and ripped open
the door, leaving Daniel in the galley. His laughter wafted through the narrow
hall that led to our sleeping quarters. As always, the sound of it rippled
through me and touched a secret place deep within.

****

The next time Daniel and I had a chance to be alone on the ship was an
entire four nights later when we sat together at the bow.

“Does it bother you, keeping what I am from your uncle?” I scratched
under Ghost’s chin eliciting a deep purr.

Daniel shook his head. “If I see it as protecting you, no, I have no
problem with that.” He nudged my shoulder with his and offered one of his
half-smiles. I nearly melted into a puddle and sloshed right off the deck as
the
Rose
swayed in the calm waters.

“When I was about twelve,” he said, looking up at the night sky, “I found
this puppy. He was the scrawniest, sorriest looking fellow I’d seen, next to
myself at the time. I was still in pretty bad shape about my parents and this.”
He raised his right shoulder slightly.

“That dog followed me home to my uncle’s house. I couldn’t shake him so I
hid the dog in my room. Fed him scraps from my own dinner. Played with him
during the day when my uncle was working. Slept with him at night when awful
nightmares had me tossing and turning.”

A melancholy expression passed over Daniel’s features. “I kept that dog
for six months before my uncle found out.”

“What did he do when he realized what you were hiding?”

“He said he always wanted a dog, and why didn’t I tell him I had the
critter in my room.” Daniel reached over and petted Ghost. “We had that dog for
five years. I don’t know if I would have gotten over the condition I was in
without him.”

I circled my fingers around in Ghost’s fur, thinking about Daniel’s
words. He noticed my pondering.

“Don’t worry. I’m not thinking of telling my uncle about you. I want to
get to the Americas first. We’ll figure it out once we get there. All right?”

I told myself I didn’t much care what Captain Finley’s reaction would be,
but I wasn’t convinced. He was important to Daniel, and I wanted the captain to
approve of me.

“Are you listening to me?” Daniel nudged me again. “I said don’t worry.
I’m eighteen years old and have a right to my own secrets. You’re my secret,
Charlie. My wonderful secret.” He leaned over and brushed his lips against my
cheek. “Besides, my uncle can’t stay mad at me. If he could he would have
tossed me out a long time ago.”

“Thank goodness he hasn’t done that.”

“After my parents died, I didn’t know where I was going to end up. There
aren’t many people willing to take in an orphan, especially an injured one who
wouldn’t be good for working.”

He paused for a moment and looked away. “You saw how Captain Denham, your
father, reacted to me that day on the docks. He didn’t want anything to do with
me when he saw I was… limited.”

I placed my hand on Daniel’s forearm, and he turned to look at me. “I
wanted to scream at my father that day, Daniel. He had no right to judge you.
It was unfair, cruel.”

“I sensed you had some anger toward him that day, and I hear it now in
your voice. Why?”

“Well,” I began, “my father wouldn’t take me on his ship with him. Stowed
me away with one of Southampton’s ladies to work as a maid instead. Told every
sailor in the area not to grant me work on any of their vessels.”

“My uncle didn’t know that, did he?”

I shook my head. “He didn’t know of my father’s edict, and he didn’t know
me enough to recognize me behind my disguise. I would have tried it with the
local captains, but they would have known it was me. Although, my own father
didn’t recognize me, so I don’t know.”  

Daniel laced his fingers between mine.

“Add to that the fact that when he couldn’t find me anywhere in Southampton,
he sailed off on his next merchant run anyway, and I think you’ll have adequate
evidence as to why I’m miffed. He ignored me and what I wanted.”

“I can’t imagine anyone wanting to ignore you, Charlie.”

I shot him a quick smile. “I remind him of my mother who did die. I
didn’t make that part up. I look just like her. Exactly.” I looked down at
myself. “All right, maybe right now I don’t, but sometimes I think my father
can’t stand the sight of me. My two brothers, Eric and Riley, are twins. They
look like my father, black hair, green eyes, dark skin. Their presence doesn’t
wrench his heart out each time he looks at them like mine probably does.”