Salt Creek (39 page)

‘She was dead before. You said so. If she was not, then you lied to us,' Addie said. ‘You swore it on the bible. Why would you do such a thing?'

‘The bible was not in the saddlebag.'

‘In your words you swore it,' I said. ‘“On the holy bible,” you said.'

‘A small untruth only,' Papa said, looking sidelong at me. ‘To ease their parting. That was all. For a greater good. I was sure that she would die.'

‘To ease our parting? What can you mean?' Addie spoke slowly and my thoughts ran slowly, both of us trying to understand his meaning.

‘I was waiting for the best moment to tell you what has been arranged. Naturally I did not wish to hurt Tull's feelings. However, all is in train.'

‘It was to make him go, wasn't it? To get him out of the way.' Addie said, ‘We will be together again.' Her mouth twisted. ‘It doesn't matter what you do or say. You cannot compel me to stay. You can't tie me here until I'm twenty-one. Tull and I will walk if we must. Disown me if you like. We will fetch Grace and keep walking. We will live somewhere else – no need to worry about the disgrace. You cannot stop us.'

Papa lifted his gaze and looked about at us all. There was a moment of quiet, a gathering up of attention. The lamp hanging from the ceiling moved in the breaths of the house. It cast its subdued light over us, the dishes of food, the surface gleam of our glasses of water, and felt its way towards the dark corners of the room. Our eyes were wide with attention, and the shadows on the deep lines of Papa's face gave him the appearance of some immutable ancient, a Pantocrator. ‘In fact I believe I can,' he said. ‘I have news for you, Adelaide. The best news. Better than you could ever have hoped for. Mr Stubbs has made an offer of marriage.'

‘Papa,' Fred burst out.

Addie shuddered and dropped her knife and fork. ‘Even to entertain such a thought. Now I know you are mad.' She leapt to her feet. ‘My answer is no and so you may tell him. I will never marry him.'

Papa rested his hands on the arms of his chair. ‘You
will
marry Mr Stubbs, Adelaide, and enjoy a finer life than you deserve.'

She began to shout. ‘There is no one for me but Tull. You can't make me. I'd sooner live like a savage.'

‘I have advised Mr Stubbs that you have returned to us, and we have made arrangements,' Papa said. ‘I was going to collect you from the Travellers Rest myself to tell you of his most advantageous offer. I was not aware of your disobedience in continuing to see Tull, but that matter is resolved. We need not expect Tull here for some time. And, happily, Hester and Fred spared me the journey.'

‘I said I would look after her. I will not be her guard,' I said. ‘I will help her if I can.'

‘I would not have thought it of you, Hester. Such disloyalty.'

‘I wish I were surprised at you, Papa, but I find that I am not.'

Papa eyed me coldly, and returned his attention to Addie. ‘Sit down, Adelaide. If you do not accept Mr Stubbs, I will notify the police – whatever their names were' (he stopped and fluttered his fingers irritably) ‘– that Tull was involved in the disappearance of Mr Martin's maid.'

‘You would not,' Addie said.

‘You know Tull would never do such a thing,' Fred said. ‘Mr Martin threatened to kill him. We were there. He saved Addie and this is how you reward him?'

‘I am grateful to him if, as you say, Mr Martin is a violent man. But my gratitude does not extend to the ruination of my family's name and reputation. I will not harm Tull – though he has sought to harm me and has repaid our charity in the worst possible way – as long as Adelaide relinquishes him and he her.'

‘And I marry Mr Stubbs?' Addie said.

‘That too.'

I thought that Addie would faint, so white and horror struck was she. She reached out a hand. I pulled a chair towards her and pushed her down. She swayed beneath my hand and began to sob – a piteous sound.

When I looked up again Papa was regarding her as unyielding as ever I saw him.

Fred stared at him, as if he were a stranger almost. ‘I told Tull we didn't sell our women, that they have a choice, and now I see that we are worse than savages; we are hypocrites. Let me guess: you owe Stubbs money. I do not say that she should marry Tull, but to compel her to marry someone she does not care for—'

Papa eyed him coldly. ‘I hope I know my duty to my children, and what is best for my daughter even if she does not know it herself.'

‘Oh Papa,' I said. ‘You cannot believe that. It's cruel in you.'

His gaze flickered at that but he did not speak.

Addie raged – all night, it seemed – her voice a sort of growl at my side. I was unaccustomed now to sharing a bed and had forgotten how she tossed and pulled at the covers when upset.

‘How could he think of it? To threaten me, to threaten Tull. I will ride away. He would not stop me.' She smacked her hands against the covers. She breathed loudly and knocked my arm with the back of her hand. ‘Do you think he would, Hett?'

I lay flat and straight, my fingers laced at my chest and looked into the moth darkness above and the faint moonlight falling on the room's dark shapes. ‘I do,' I said. ‘I think he will do anything.'

‘I will try anyway. Could you help me? I cannot get onto a horse on my own.' She turned her head and the whites of her eyes gleamed.

‘I don't know. I would not see Tull imprisoned. I do not wish him dead.'

She began to cry.

Sergeant Wells and Trooper O'Grady rode in the next morning and were relieved to see Addie alive since they did not believe everything that Mr Martin had told them. ‘Very unreliable I would say,' Sergeant Wells said. They did not have proof of his guilt, and had not yet found any sign of Jane. They questioned Addie about her time at the Travellers Rest, also Fred and me about anything that we might have seen. Papa sat with us, quiet and intent. We spoke only a little of Tull, mentioning that he had been with us to help collect Addie. Addie's pallor and the dark rings beneath her eyes could as easily be ascribed to her fear of Mr Martin, her night out in the cold and our flight, as to her sleepless night and the crying fits that overcame her.

From the end of the veranda we watched the two men depart for the lakes, where they planned to fetch a black tracker known to them. Papa and Fred were gone soon after. I wondered at Papa leaving Addie free until I saw that the horses were missing from the home paddock. I went up the rise to the stable, which was also empty, and returned to the house, to Addie.

‘What is it?' she said.

‘The horses are gone.'

We knew without asking that Papa had moved them. I would not give him the satisfaction of asking why or where, but Addie was not too proud to ask Fred when he came into the kitchen before dinner.

‘Everything must have you at its centre, mustn't it?' he said, looking at her over his cup of tea. ‘I will not tell you. I do not treat Tull as lightly as you. He will die, you will have killed him, if you follow this course. If Papa will not waver, you must, for Tull's sake. Think of him.'

‘It isn't me. It's Papa. I cannot live without Tull.'

‘You can.' His voice, turned soft, was still insistent. He was not unfeeling; it was that he saw things so clear; he understood consequence. ‘You don't want to. But either way you will not have him. Better to have him alive in the world; better not to cause his death.'

‘What if we told the police?' Addie said.

Fred shook his head slowly. ‘You know what Papa would say. He would tell of his wilful daughter, grown reckless without a mother's guiding hand, her infatuation with a black outgrown his station, who has taken advantage of her youth and ruined her innocence. Think,' he said, angry now, and took her shoulders and shook her.

She threw him off and slapped his hands and pummelled his chest. ‘Let me be. What would you know?'

‘It does no good, Fred,' I said and he flung his hands up and stepped back. ‘Addie. Addie.' Finally she gave me her attention. ‘Perhaps the police will find evidence of Mr Martin's guilt. There is still a chance.'

She stopped then, her breaths heaving. ‘Do you think so? They might, I suppose.' She bent her head and lifted a skirt to wipe her face.

‘Mr Stubbs will be here in ten more days, Papa says,' Fred said.

Addie lifted her head. ‘Ten days. I will run before then, with or without Tull.'

‘Don't, Addie,' Fred said.

She did not speak to Papa during that time, but kept watch on the path, running to the parlour window or the veranda end at any noise, looking both for Tull – who I do not think she could have resisted running with if he came, whatever Fred said – and for the troopers. Once, in the second week after our return, I spied her limping up the hill away from the house, leaning on her stick, and ran after her.

‘What are you doing?'

She kept on in her halting way. ‘Only going to the stock route to see if anyone might be passing by. Anyone with news, that is.'

‘You might stay there for a week and not see a soul. And if you go along the track you might miss Tull, and if you go searching for him inland you might miss the troopers.'

‘I can't wait. I don't have a week. Leave me, Hettie. Let me be. I must try else I shall go mad. If only I knew where he was.'

‘Addie, dear Addie.' I took her by the arm. She jerked free and in doing it stumbled and cried out and sank to the damp path. I crouched at her side and put my arms about her and rocked her. She burrowed her head against my front. ‘I want Mama,' she said. ‘I want her. She would stop him. I know she would. You said you would not guard me.'

‘There's no need for a guard. There is nothing we can do. Your ankle is not ready. You'll only make it worse and then if the troopers come with good news you will not be fit to walk. Come now, Addie.' I took her arm and we went back to the house, which I hated to do. Even if we rowed away I could not do it on my own for the length of the lagoon. And that would not help Tull, who despite the great expanse of land and water that was his home was as trapped as us, even if he did not know it. Only Addie's marriage could set him free.

I could not help counting those ten days; I was sure Addie did too. We did not talk of it. Two days before Mr Stubbs was expected at Salt Creek, after breakfast, Papa went to his room and returned with a slithering armful of material. ‘Your Mama's wedding dress, for Adelaide, to make her suitable.' He put it on a chair and stepped away from it, clearing his throat as if there would be a further announcement, and when I did not reply took his hat and coat from the door and went out.

After he had gone, I shook out the rustling folds of cream silk. Heavy wings of skirt and underskirt fell away from a whalebone bodice; it was trimmed in lace and satin ribbon and had mother-of-pearl buttons up its long wrists and up its back. It seemed to gather all the light of the dining room into it and send out some light of its own. It was an uneasy sort of garment, made from things of land and sea. Addie limped in, bleary from sleep, and stopped. ‘It is real then,' she said. She sat at the other end of the table. ‘It will happen, I think.'

I did not mention trying it or fitting it, but after she had picked at some food, she dragged it away to our room and a while later called for me. She was a forlorn sight with the dress unfastened, not draping as it should. She could not do up the buttons, and neither could I.

‘It's no use, Addie. You'll have to wear stays.'

She shut her eyes. ‘In the drawer,' she said.

I found her old corset rolled at the back and pulled it out and held it above her head. Obediently, she lifted her arms and I lowered it over her and began to tighten the laces. Twice we pulled the dress up to see if her waist was small enough, and twice had to tighten further. My fingers were red and sore from the cord.

‘It's because of Grace. Mama had not had a baby when she wore it,' Addie said.

‘You're as small as her. It's because you've gone free for so long. Heavens, what would Grandmama say?' Addie brushed her face with her palms and I saw her tears. ‘It's all right. It will fit. I will make it.'

Addie said nothing; she rocked on her feet as I tugged, bracing herself against a chair, and her breaths became shallower. ‘Stop, stop,' she said once in sudden panic. ‘I can't bear it.' Her hands beat at her ribs. ‘I can't breathe.' She drew in quick, shallow breaths. ‘No.' She shut her eyes. Her hands stopped their fluttering and settled against her chest, pressing hard. Her light panting sobs died away finally, and her face settled, deliberately. She mastered herself. When she opened her eyes again, I said, ‘Ready?' and when she nodded, I drew the dress up her body and pulled the sleeves up her arms and forced each button through its tight corresponding loop, all the way up the dress's back and its high, slender neck, throwing her plait over her shoulder to her front. She was obliged to hold her chin high. Lace foamed at her throat.