Salvaged (5 page)

(Attie)

Apparently my body thought I was still on East Coast time
because I woke up extra early. Riley was asleep on the floor below
me, and I realized that he gave the impression of being much nicer
when he was sleeping. I didn't remember having any nightmares
during the night, and if I did, I didn't wake him. Maybe the nightmares stayed behind in New York and they wouldn't be bothering
me any longer. One could only hope.

Sliding out of bed as quietly as possible, I quickly made the
bed. Wanting to leave a note thanking him for letting me borrow
his bed, I searched the room and found a notepad and pen on his
desk. He had scribbled drawings on most of the pages, but I found
a blank piece toward the back, scrawled him a note, and left it lying
on the bed.

Gramps would be there at eight fifteen to take me to take my
driver's license test. This time I felt confident that I was going to
pass, so not wanting to look too unsightly in my license picture, I
dug through Melody's drawers until I found some of her old makeup.
I wasn't exactly sure what I was doing, but I'd seen plenty of women
put makeup on, so I figured I could do it. Plus, the few days Melody
and I spent together the summer before, I would sit on her bed each
morning and watch as she carefully transformed her face. I took
mental notes so that I would be prepared a few months later when my sixteenth birthday finally arrived and I was allowed to start wearing makeup myself.

I'd secretly been jealous. Her mother was letting her wear
makeup, and my mother was still treating me like I was twelve.
Even worse, Melody was so naturally beautiful she didn't even need
makeup. I was the one that needed serious help. I did, however, find
one loophole-Chap Stick. I wore it religiously and whether I had
chapped lips or not. It was the closest thing to lip gloss I'd ever
come into contact with, and wearing it made me feel like I wasn't a
complete square.

I swiped some powder onto my eyelids, but it was too dark, so
I rubbed most of it right back off. Taking the mascara wand out of
the tube, I carefully applied it to my eyelashes. Applying it was much
harder than it looked, but the end result was acceptable.

I also threw on some lip gloss and curled my hair. Looking in
the mirror, I decided that I didn't look half bad. I threw on some
clothes and ran down the stairs just in time for Gramps to pull into
the driveway.

"Atticus." Gramps greeted me with a big kiss on the cheek.
"Wow, are you wearin' makeup?"

"I want to look good for my driver's license picture."

"I see." He wore a small smirk on his face. "So how'd you sleep?"

"Good. No nightmares or anything."

"Praise God. Maybe bein' home is helping to ease your mind."

"Yes, maybe it is."

That or the fact that Riley was sleeping next to me on the floor.
I felt guilty although I wasn't sure why. It wasn't as if we'd done anything wrong or even wanted to.

After arriving at the examination office, Gramps said a small
prayer before escorting me into the office so that I could face my
fate, but within thirty minutes I was back in the truck with Gramps.
I'd blown it. The truck was much taller and wider than Dad's coupe,
so I was unable to see a couple of curbs that I should have avoided. I
also failed miserably at parking.

"Well, Atticus, it looks like you'll be driving a golf cart around
town for the next few years."

Although he was trying to be funny, I didn't think the situation
called for humor at all. As a matter of fact, I was desperately fighting
back tears. I could feel my chest start shaking as tears were just on
the edge of release.

I was almost seventeen and still didn't have a driver's license. I
was now, in fact, a confirmed loser.

He interrupted my pity party. "Oh, I forgot. I have something
for you."

"A gift?" A gift would cheer me up.

"Not a gift so much, but it's something you've always wanted."

"What?" I squealed like a three-year-old. "What did you get
me?"

"I'm signing my OU football tickets over to you."

"Get out?"

"Is `get out' kinda like saying `No way'?"

"Yes, it's just like that."

"You're gonna have to get me up-to-date on all this stuff, Atticus. I haven't been around teenagers since `righteous' was popular."

"Righteous?" I shrugged. "Anyway, where are the seats?"

"Oh, they're good seats, Atticus; you'll love `em. They're under
the upper deck so you don't get sunburned or rained on. Perfect for
a princess."

"Awesome. How many are there?"

"You can have three, and your dad and I will get the others. The
first game is around Labor Day."

During our drive home, he shared stories about many of the
Sooner games that he attended. A few of them didn't sound that
fun-they sounded miserable. He called one of them "The Ice Bowl"
and said that he almost got frostbite, but the excitement of the game
made it well worth it.

Other than the Lord, my grandmother, and animals, OU football was his greatest passion, and he'd passed it down to me. Believe it or not, he taught me the words to "Boomer Sooner" before "Jesus
Loves Me." He'd be ashamed of himself if I reminded him of it.

"How do I handle going to Oklahoma State for vet school?" I
asked as we pulled into the Bennetts' driveway.

"Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it. There's no reason
you can't root for OSU when they aren't playing us."

I wasn't so sure about that. If there was one team I hated more
than Texas, it was Oklahoma State.

"Gramps, when Jesus talked about loving your neighbor, I don't
think he was referring to OSU."

I'd made him laugh, and he seemed proud. Prejudice against
O SU Cowboys and Texas Longhorns was the only form of prejudice
promoted in our home. "I love you, Atticus Reed."

"You too, Gramps. Thanks for everything."

I hopped out of the car, slammed the door, and as I ran inside
the house, Mrs. Bennett yelled my name.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Breakfast is about ready. Come on so it doesn't get cold."

"Yes, ma'am."

I walked into the kitchen and noticed the family dog, Boomer,
sitting in my usual spot. He looked as if he didn't have any intention
of moving, so I sat in Melody's seat. Mr. Bennett was absorbed in
the newspaper, and Mrs. Bennett stood at the stove making gravy
and singing along to Rick Springfield blaring from her laptop.

I'd never gotten the whole "gravy with breakfast" thing, but it
did taste good. I liked it over hash browns. I'd learned that Okies
would put gravy on just about anything. They also liked to fry their
food-vegetables especially. I'd eaten fried okra, fried zucchini, fried
squash, fried pickles, fried green beans, fried broccoli, and fried cauliflower. In my opinion, the okra and squash were the best. One
summer I'd even tried fried bacon with gravy, and I hated to admit
it, but it was incredible.

Picking up a portion of the paper, I occupied my time until
breakfast was ready.

(Riley)

A small throbbing under my chin woke me up. Reaching up to
touch it, I winced in pain. Attie kicked me harder than I'd originally
thought.

I looked to my bed hoping that she would still be there, but my
heart sank when I saw that she was gone. A piece of paper sat on the
pillow. It was a note.

Thanks so much, Riley. I slept really great. I'm sure I'll be fine
to sleep in Melody's room tonight. I might as well get used to it,
right? Yea, you get your bed back!

Sorry again about your chin.

-Charlie

I didn't fail to notice she signed the note "Charlie." Feeling a grin fill
my face, I reread the note a few more times before the smell of greasy
bacon broke my haze, and I raced to wash up and get dressed.

I wanted to walk into the kitchen as unassuming as possible, and
evidently it worked because no one bothered to acknowledge my
existence. They were each reading a section of the paper and were
absorbed in the news of the day. My dad read the front section, my
mom "Life and Style," and Attie was reading the sports section.

I started to make myself a plate of food. "Good morning, everyone. Wow, Mom, biscuits and gravy, eggs and bacon-all my favorites. Thanks so much."

As I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, she about fell out
of her chair.

"We ... we ... well, thanks, Riley." Amazingly, she was nearly
speechless for once in her life. Unfortunately, it didn't last long.
"What's gotten you in such a good mood?"

"Nothing really."

She believed me and moved on to questioning Attie. "What got
you out of the house so early this morning?"

Our eyes looked toward Attie as we waited for a reply. She lowered the paper and laid it in her lap, and I'm pretty sure we all inhaled
when we saw her. Her hair curled a little as it lay on either side of her face, there was a little bit of color on her eyelids, and she'd used
some of that black stuff girls put on their eyelashes. I think I even
noticed that she was wearing something shiny on her lips. Although
she looked pretty, I preferred her without all the goop on her face.

"Well..." Attie bit her thumbnail and kept her eyes looking
down at her lap. "It's rather embarrassing."

She peeked up as we all leaned in to hear her explain what was
causing her so much discomfort. We were captivated.

Her eyes squeezed and her nose scrunched up. "I went to take
my driver's test."

Dad set his paper down onto the table. "Well, why is that so
embarrassing?"

"I've failed three times now." She tried to remain composed but
failed miserably and began to sob. Tears poured down her face, and
unfortunately the stuff on her eyes didn't stay on her lashes. I handed
her a napkin so she could wipe the black streaks off her cheeks.

As Attie continued to cry, my parents and I sat stunned and horrified. None of us knew what to do with a sixteen-year-old girl that
was inconsolable, and I panicked.

"I want my mom," she wailed.

That was it, my heart shattered. The sound of her voice was the
most pitiful sound I'd ever heard, and worse was the fact that the
sound came from her tear-stained face.

Before I knew it my mom was at her side, and tears were flowing
from her eyes as well. "I know, Attie, I know you miss your mom. I
wish I could take your pain away. I wish I could take all of our pain
away.

Attie instantly stopped crying, and her body turned rigid. "Oh,
I'm so sorry."

Dad rubbed her knee. "Sorry for what, Attiline?"

"I'm sitting at your table, eating from Melody's chair. She should
be the one sitting here, not me. I'm being selfish and not even considering your pain." Her shoulders shook as she tried to catch her
breath. "All I can think about is how much I miss my mom." She
threw her head onto the table, and luckily, I caught her hair just
before it landed in the gravy.

My parents and I glanced at each other as Attie struggled to
contain herself.

Before I knew it, tears filled my eyes. "Oh great." I threw my
hands up in disgust. "It took less than twenty-four hours, and now
we're all crying."

"I didn't even get to go to their funeral," Attie continued. "I've
never even seen their headstones."

Getting up, she walked away, leaving us to watch as she left our
presence. After she made her way upstairs, my mother went to sit on
my dad's lap. They were crying not only because they felt badly for
Attie but because they also missed my sister.

I'd caught them crying about Melody on a regular basis, so seeing their grief was nothing new, but I never knew how to help them.
I couldn't even help myself.