Sanctuary (Freaks MC Book 2) (5 page)

Oh no. That wasn't going to happen. “I'm sorry.” He sat on the bed. “I could order a pizza if you're hungry.”

“Eating a crappy pizza in a crappy motel room.” She pulled back the covers and wrinkled her nose in disgust. “The perfect end to a perfect day. Don't bother. I'll get something on my way to the airport in the morning.”

He lay on his back and closed his eyes. She was lying less than two feet away, but it might as well have been a million miles. “I'm sorry, Emma.”

“
Yeah. You said. I'm struggling to figure out why you wanted me to come in the first place.”

“
I wanted you to meet my family.” At least she wasn't yelling now, but he knew that if he said the wrong thing she would start again. He sat up. “I've been in your life for a long time. I guess I wanted you in mine. I'm sorry I fucked it up for you. I shouldn't have dumped you in the clubhouse, and when I saw that asshole grab you, I just lost it, but I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. That was on me. I should have made it clear that you were mine.”

“
And just how would you do that? Parade me around in one of those property patches? Brand me?” She sat up and switched on the lamp. “What part of you thought that I'd be okay in a place where the only way a woman gets treated with respect is if she belongs to someone else? Do you even know me at all?”

She was completely naked and so absolutely fucking beautiful. He swallowed as his dick stood at attention. “Emma. If you're gonna stay mad at me, you're gonna have to put some clothes on.”

“Are you serious?”

“
Deadly serious. Do you have any idea how fucking hot you are?” He grinned. “And in answer to your question: Yes, I do know you, and I wanted my family to know you, too.”

“
Why?”

“
Jesus. Why do you think? Because I fucking love you, you stupid bitch.”

“
Oh.”

Where the fuck had that come from? Shit – he looked at the woman opposite him – that was it! The reason he felt so disjointed when he wasn't with her. He was in love with her. He pulled the covers off his legs and shifted on the stupid empty bed so that he was facing her. “You gonna say something, or just sit there gaping like a fish?”

She frowned. “That's a low blow, Deke.”

“
You think this is bullshit?” He stood and ignoring the burning in his thigh and the fact that his stupid dick was sticking up like a flag pole, began to pace up and down the tiny space. “Fuck! You really think I would do that? When have I ever lied to you, Emma? I love you. I want you in my life. I dunno know how that works...” He stopped his pacing and looked down at her, staring open mouthed at him. “I don't do ol' ladies, I've never had a house or a steady job. There's any number of women willing to let me fuck them, plenty of warm beds and cooked breakfasts available. You think I want to love you?”

She stood and pressed her forehead against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. “I don't want to love you, either.”

SEVEN

They may have brought out the big guns and used the dreaded 'L' word, but it didn't change anything. Emma pushed the slobbering hound off her and headed into the kitchen to make herself a much needed cup of tea. She knew that if their relationship was to move on, they had to talk, and talking really wasn't their strong point.

She sat at her kitchen table sipping her tea and staring at her phone. Okay, so that had changed. She now had his number and he hers, but she was still here and he was still on the road, and one of them was going to have to compromise. Blue rested his head on her lap and she scratched him behind the ears. “What am I going to do, dog?”

She'd loved him for a long time.. She wasn't sure just how long. There was no defining moment – she hadn't woken up one day and had an epiphany – she just did. It hadn't mattered to her that he didn't share her feelings, and her reasons for not telling him weren't that she was scared it would send him running.

She sighed, stood up, poured her tea down the sink and grabbed the bottle of tequila from the shelf. For years she'd just accepted that she was in love with a man who came and went like the wind. Who did things that she couldn't bring herself to think of. She didn't like it much, but she accepted it. Just like she accepted that she had freckles and nothing on earth would stop her hair going frizzy in the rain.

And then the big dumb oaf had to go and shift the goalposts. Fuck it. She sat back down and began to roll a joint. There was only one thing to do in situations like this. Get absolutely shitfaced.

~ oOo ~

Fuck! Twisting the throttle, Samson pushed the bike harder. Fuck. He didn't need this shit. Didn't need that little witch cluttering up his life. But somehow, the thought of life without her scared him half to death. Fuck. He needed to clear his head.

The bar was dark, stank of stale beer and sweat and there was some country shit playing on the jukebox, but right now he wouldn't have cared if it was full of transvestites dressed in tutus. He need a drink. Fuck, he needed a lot of drink. He nodded to the bartender. “Tequila. And keep 'em coming.”

“You gonna answer that?” The bartender poured another shot as the cell buzzed again.

Samson eyed the cell. If he answered, he'd have to talk to her, but if he didn't.... “Hey. S'up?”

“What di' you hafta say that for? You've fucked it all up.”

“
Most people start a conversation with hello. How drunk are you?”

There was silence for a moment, then she chuckled. “Pretty drunk. I hit the tequila.”

“Me, too.” He pushed himself away from the bar and walked outside. “What are we doing here, baby girl?”

“
Apart from getting shitfaced? I dunno, Deke. We gotta talk 'bout this.”

“
I know. Think it might be an idea to do it when we're sober, though.”

“
Nooo. I need to talk now. I need to say stuff.”

“
Okay. Talk.”

“
Okay. So we love each other, right?”

“
Yeah we do.”

“
An' we wanna be together.”

“
Yeah.”

“
But we need to work out the.... wassa word?”

“
Logistics.”

“
Oooh cool word. You are so smart, thinking of cool words when you're drunk. You're really hot as well. All big an' muscly. I love your big chest an' your arms. They're sooo beefy. I wanna....”

“
Emma, stay on track. And I ain't the one who's drunk.”

“
Okay, sorry. Yeah, that thing you said. We need to figure it out.” There was silence for a moment. “Beth said you kinda stay around Seattle a lot.”

“
Yeah.”

“
So if I moved up there we'd be together more....Okay. I'll do that.... But…”

“
Emma? Emma, baby, you still there?”

“
Yeah.” She fell silent again, but he could hear the intake of breath. “I don't wan' you screwing around, though.”

“
I ain't.”

“
What?”

“
I ain't screwing around.”

“
Oh. Oh, okay... Since when?”

“
Since I saw you last.”

“
That was yesterday.” God he loved to hear her laugh. “Fuck, Deke. I thought you could go longer than twenty-four hours.”

“
No… The time before, idiot. You said you didn't want me to. So I stopped.”

“
Oh. Wow. Okay.”

“
I'd kinda stopped before… pretty much. They ain't you, baby girl.”

“
Why didn't you say anything?”

“
Dunno. Didn't think it was important, I guess.”

Her laugh turned into a coughing fit. “Shit, Deke, you trying to kill me? It's important, okay. Really Fucking Important.”

“Okay. I get it. No fucking around...er...Does that include blow jobs?”

“
It includes everything. Don't promise this if you ain't prepared to keep it, Deke....”

“
I won’t screw around and I won’t bullshit.” He laughed. “I'll probably fuck everything else up though.”

“
Deke, I.... I... I'm gonna puke. Bye.”

He slid down the wall and stared at his cell. Unbidden, his thumb hit a key. “Fox? How soon can you get to Reno? I need you to cover for me on that run.... Okay. Thanks, bro... I owe you.”

~ oOo ~

She was laying prostrate on the bed, her dress tangled around her. He sat and, gently pulling her hair away from her face, leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Drunk.”

She groaned and opened her eyes. “Deke?”

“You were expecting someone else?”

“
Funny.” She closed her eyes again. “I think I might have puked up my liver.”

“
You are pure class.” He began pulling off his boots. Was this love? Wanting to cuddle your girl, even though she smelled slightly of puke? He grinned and lay down next to her.

“
If you move me, I'll barf all over you. Jus' saying.”

“
Duly noted.”

“It lives!” He scratched the dog on the top of his head and grinned as she shuffled across the kitchen and gave him the finger. “Feeling better?”

“
There's a guy with a jackhammer pounding on the inside of my skull, and someone has carpeted the inside of my mouth.” She sank onto the chair opposite him and rested her forehead on the table. “I think the only reason I've stopped puking is cuz there's nothing left inside me.”

“
Don't you have a potion for that?”

“
Several. But I think this time the only cure is a complete organ transplant…or maybe death. You got your gun, right?”

“
Yeah, but it's messy. How about a glass of water and some Advil?”

“
I guess I could try that. Then I'm going to have a shower. I stink.”

“
Yeah, you do a little.”

She opened one eye. “This No Bullshit rule... Maybe there's room for some flexibility there.”

When he'd set off for her house, he hadn't really been thinking. He'd just been overwhelmed by the need to be near her, but he knew that there were things he was going to have to lay on the line. He was guessing she remembered the conversation they'd had the night before, and if she was really prepared to up sticks and move to Seattle, then he owed it to her to explain just what being with a man like him really meant.

He gazed around her kitchen. Like every other room in her little house, it was an extension of her, and he found it hard to separate the two.

It was as if a troop of monkeys had run amok in a paint factory. She'd painted everything from the cupboard doors to the window frames. The predominant colors in the kitchen were yellow and green, but there were splashes of red and orange as well. It shouldn't have worked, but somehow it did. In fact it was his favorite room in the house. He loved the jars of – god knows what – on the shelves, the smell of the herbs growing on the windowsill. The bookcase in the corner, housing books on just about everything. He loved how nothing matched – not the plates on the old-fashioned dresser or even the chairs around big dining table – it was chaotic and messy and it was all Emma.

He grinned as she walked back in from her shower, then stood and led her by the hand to the living room. “Sit down. You and me need to talk.”

She sat and, resting her head against his arm, closed her eyes. “You talk, I'll listen.”

He shifted slightly and, putting his arm around her, pulled her onto his chest. Her hair was wet and smelled of raspberries, and her body was warm against his. He pressed his lips onto the top of her head, and he, too, closed his eyes. She snuggled closer and he smiled. Maybe they could talk later.

~ oOo ~

Shit. A whole day wasted. This was why she hated hangovers – well that and the pounding headache and throwing up. She pulled off the throw that he'd covered her with and sat up slowly. She could hear him in the kitchen talking to Blue. Her big tough guy. Grinning, she wandered into the kitchen to join them.

Deke was standing at the stove, poking disconsolately at something in a saucepan. With her hand on his ass she peeked into the pan. “Nope. You're going to have to tell me what that is supposed to be.”

“Risotto. I think I might have fucked up the quantities. The instructions on the packet was talking about cups, but I didn't know what cup to use, so I poured half the packet in. I tried adding more water but it's gone all... I don't get it. I've seen you do it tons of times.” He sighed and poked it again. “I guess I could use it for fixing the cracks in the walls.”

She switched off the stove and
scraped the contents of the pan into the scraps bucket for the chickens, then began hunting through the contents of the fridge. “I'll make us some soup. It won't take long.”

“
I've got a better idea. How about we head into town and I'll buy you dinner.”

“
I really don't feel like facing the world today, Deke.” She dropped some sweet potatoes and celery onto the chopping board. “Do you think you can chop these?”

They worked in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Emma glanced up at him and smiled. “What are you doing here, Deke?”

He shrugged. “Freaking out.”

“
Why?”

“
Not sure, baby girl. I don't think I want you to give up your house…your life for me.” He refused to meet her eyes, but kept his fixed on the knife in his hand. “I can't offer you anything but shit in return.”

“
I won’t be giving up my life. I'll just be living it somewhere else. It's just a house.”

“
It's not just a house, Emma. Everything about this place is touched by you.”

She laid her hand on his arm. “What are you so scared of, Deke?”

He raised his eyes and looked deep into hers. For what seemed like an eternity he stared at her before smiling slightly. “Reading my mind again, little witch?” He took her hand and led her to the table. “Sit down.”

She sat, and waited for him to speak.

“You're right. I am scared. I've seen what life is like for ol' ladies. I don't want that for you. It's hard, Emma. Really hard. Being an outlaw ain't conducive to family life.”

“
Beth...”

“
Beth and Tiny have been through more shit than you can imagine.” He took her hand and ran his thumb across her knuckles. “You know why they got hitched?” Without waiting for her to answer, he continued. “Tiny is out on bail. If he gets convicted he could be looking at a long bid. If they're married it makes visits and shit easier.”

“
Deke. I know. Beth told me. I need you to listen to me. This....” She looked around her. “This is just where I live. I'm not talking about throwing myself into club life. I'm not even talking about being your old lady. All I'm suggesting is that if I moved closer to Seattle, it would be easier for us to see more of each other. If you get sent to jail or...” She felt his grip on her hand tighten. “It won’t make any difference where I'm living.”

He bought her hand up to his lips and kissed her fingers. “And if what I am blows back on you?”

She shrugged. Truthfully, it hadn't occurred to her that it could. “I dunno. I guess I'll cross that bridge if I come to it.” She smiled. “This isn't going to happen overnight. I need to sell this place, find somewhere new, it's going to take months. But I want to do this. I thought it was what you wanted too.”

“
It is.”