Sanctuary Island (15 page)

“Oh hey!” Merry stood up quickly, almost guiltily, as if she felt bad about the fact that she was hungry pretty much all the time these days. “I didn’t know you were back. Is Grady with you?”

Just the mention of Grady Wilkes brought a tingle of warmth to Ella’s cheeks. “No, he dropped me off this afternoon while you were napping. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You should’ve invited him for dinner.” Merry’s eyes took on a mischievous twinkle.

“Grady had a family thing tonight,” Ella said firmly. “Something with his uncle and cousin.”

“Guess that’s the place to be,” Merry said. There was an odd note in her voice, a wistfulness that made Ella frown as she joined her sister at the fridge. “Jo’s there, too. She left us cold chicken and something she called ‘a mess of collards,’ which doesn’t sound too appetizing. I didn’t want to tell her I had no idea what she was talking about. And oh my gosh, what is that?”

Ella sniffed suspiciously at the bowl full of dark braised greens studded with slivers of ham and bits of red onion. “Smells better than it looks,” she decided, setting the big ceramic bowl on the kitchen table.

“I think there’s a microwave in the pantry closet,” Merry said, swaying over to the table with her hands full of a platter of chicken pieces.

Ella collapsed into one of the straight-backed kitchen chairs as if all her strings had been cut. “This looks pretty good as is. I don’t have the energy to figure out how to heat anything up. But if you want it hot, I’ll—”

Before she could heave herself out of the chair, Merry was shaking her head, mouth turned down at the corners. “Nah. Let’s just dig in and then go to bed.”

So much for sunshine.

“What’s wrong?” Ella braced herself. She wasn’t sure how many more revelations—about herself or the people she loved or the ones she’d just met—she could handle.

Merry fidgeted with the tines of the ancient silver fork that had belonged to their great-aunt Dottie, and sighed. “Nothing. I’m being dumb. Let’s just eat.”

Ella’s heart ached at the lost look in Merry’s downcast eyes. “Kiddo. Nothing about you is dumb. Okay,” she amended when Merry shot her a raised brow, “maybe your choices sometimes. A little bit. And your taste in men, because, wow. But if something’s wrong, I hope you know you can tell me.”

Squirming in her chair as if having a hard time finding a comfortable position on the hard wooden seat, Merry said, “I do know that. I just … doesn’t it bother you that Mom is off with her new friends, her island family, and we’re here?”

Swallowing the question that wanted to pop out—
oh, we’re calling Jo Ellen mom now?
—Ella forced herself to take a calm bite of the collard greens. “I don’t really care what Jo Ellen does. I mean, you’re my family. You’re all I need.”

Merry’s pursed mouth softened. “I love you, too.” Picking up a chicken leg, she took a bite out of it before gesturing with the drumstick. “But be honest. You’re not the slightest bit bugged? I mean, even Mom was worried about it, I could tell when she left. She wanted to invite us along, I think, but then she said that she needed to spend some time with Taylor, so I said it was fine, and of course we’d be okay on our own tonight. But secretly?”

“You’re not fine,” Ella guessed.

“Mom” again.

She shook it off, but a lingering sense of unease prickled over her skin as Merry scowled down at her plate.

“Not so much. Because hey, family. That’s why we’re here, right? And if we want to be part of Mom’s life, we should get to know the people who are important to her here and now.”

“That makes sense,” Ella said cautiously, sensing a dangerous undertow. “But keep in mind, this is only temporary. We’re leaving in twelve days. Give yourself a break, it’s okay not to fully integrate into Jo’s life.”

Good advice, which she could do a better job of remembering herself. Ella cringed at how much time she’d spent researching business plans for turning the old house into a small inn.

“I know, but—” Merry began unhappily, but Ella cut her off. She needed to nip this in the bud, for both of them.

“No. You got what you wanted—you made a connection. Does it make sense to get completely enmeshed here when we don’t even know when, or if, we’ll be coming back to the island?”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Ella was conscious of a pang of something sharp poking through her breastbone. She didn’t want to put a name to it, but when she blinked, the image of Grady’s rough-jawed, handsome face swam to the surface of her closed eyes.

“Right.” Merry waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Because you haven’t been building any relationships on the island.”

“Shut up!” Ella aimed a gentle smack at Merry’s arm, but she dodged it with more agility than anyone in her third trimester ought to possess.

“Out there on the beach all alone with Grady Wilkes. Must have been romantic.”

Ella snorted. “Oh sure, what with all the amniotic fluid and horse sweat, I could barely keep my panties on.”

“Sounds amazing.” Merry pouted. “I still can’t believe you didn’t call me the second you realized there was about to be a baby foal wandering around the beach!”

That stupid blush prickled Ella’s cheeks again. “It all happened so fast! There was barely time to breathe, much less to call everyone on the island to come down and watch. Besides, I don’t think someone in your delicate condition should be exposed to the rigors of horse birth. It might give you nightmares!”

Merry rolled her eyes in her patented my-big-sister-is-dumb way. “You’re the one with all the issues about having kids, not me. Seriously, though. Be honest. You wouldn’t be sad to never see Grady again? Because I think you would. I think you’d be the saddest sad sack ever to weep bitter tears of regret if you left Sanctuary Island before you figure out where it’s going with him.”

Ella couldn’t help but laugh, even though her throat was oddly tight and aching. “Come on back to reality, kiddo. It’s not going anywhere with Grady.”

No matter how tempting he is.

“Why not?”

“A million reasons! Like, for instance, our lives are completely different, we have different goals, and … oh yeah, we live in different places.”

“Exactly.” Merry leaned back in her chair with an air of having made her point.

Ella shook her head in confusion, feeling as if she’d missed some crucial part of the conversation. “What are you saying?”

Merry licked her lips, fingers drumming a staccato rhythm on the edge of the table. “I’m saying … let’s stay here.”

A chill raised every hair on Ella’s arms. “You mean you want to extend our visit?”

Merry pressed her lips together for a moment, as if she were steeling herself for something, then said decisively, “No. I mean I’m thinking about staying. Indefinitely. As in, I’m considering moving to Sanctuary Island.”

White noise like waves breaking on a stormy shore rushed through Ella’s ears as Merry kept talking. Ella only caught a phrase here and there … not enough time … get to know … want a connection … not just about Mom …

All Ella could really process was an overwhelming, instinctive “No.”

“Hey, I know this isn’t what you planned on.” Merry laid a concerned hand on Ella’s arm. “And I know how much you hate to deviate from The Plan, but you look like I just told you I wanted to do something crazy. This wouldn’t be that crazy.”

That jolted Ella back into the conversation. “Not that crazy?” she sputtered, barely recognizing her own voice at that pitch of freak-out. “You’re talking about moving to an island that doesn’t even have a bridge back to the mainland. There’s no hospital! When you go into labor, you’ll have to hop the ferry to get to a real doctor! How is that not insane? Have you thought this through at all?”

Merry’s face went stubborn, and Ella’s heart sank. She knew that look. “In fact, Miss Bossypants, I have thought this through.”

The plates and silverware rattled as Ella banged her hands down on the surface of the table, making both women jump. “When? We’ve only been here a couple of days!”

“I’ve been thinking about leaving D.C. for a lot longer than that,” Merry said quietly, pushing away from the table. “And as for the rest of it, you and your control issues might need six months and pro-con lists filled out in triplicate to make a decision about anything, but I don’t. I like it here. I think I could be happy on Sanctuary Island, and I want to raise Baby someplace where I’m actually happy.”

Painful memories reverberated through Merry’s low voice, tearing at Ella’s heart. She drew in a shuddering breath. “That’s not fair. Dad did his best.”

“I know that. And I’m not blaming Dad for being sad and distant for most of our childhoods—he had a lot of tough breaks. But did he do everything he could to change that? Did he give himself the best possible chance at happiness? Because I don’t think staying in a go-nowhere job he hated, in a city where he had no family or friends outside of the two kids he was raising on his own, was the best way for him to be happy.”

“He did it for us!” Ella pushed back from the table, feeling trapped. “He left Jo for us. He went to that office every day to keep food on our plates and clothes on our backs.”

“He could’ve done that somewhere else,” Merry argued. “But he gave up. He was afraid to try. And this isn’t about Dad, anyway, it’s about me. I can’t believe you’re pitching a fit about this. I thought you’d be more supportive.”

Ella ran both hands through her hair, pulling slightly to try and ground herself. “I can’t support every nutso thought you ever … God, Merry, why are you doing this?”

“Because I have to try,” Merry countered. “I don’t want Baby to grow up feeling like I did … like there was some vague, undefined thing wrong all the time, every minute. And like maybe it was my fault and if I could just figure out how to change, how to be better, we’d be a normal family.”

Ella’s cheeks were cold. It wasn’t until she brushed at them with her fingertips and felt wetness that she realized she was crying. “It wasn’t your fault. If it was anyone’s fault, it was Jo’s. She’s the one who broke our family into pieces … and now she’s the one you’re running to?”

Merry set her jaw. “One day, you’re going to have to quit blaming everything that goes wrong in your life on Mom. She’s a person, too, with her own problems—I promise, not everything is about her trying to mess up your life. From what I can tell, you’re doing a fine job of that on your own.”

It was a solid hit, a punch to the gut. Ella stared at her sister and saw a fierce-eyed, stubborn-jawed stranger. Suddenly, their father’s bitter warnings about how far Jo would go to get what she wanted exploded through Ella’s mind.

“Did she put you up to this?” Ella barely recognized her own voice, so low and flat with suppressed rage.

Merry’s eyes widened incredulously. “Who, Mom?”

“She showed you the letter, didn’t she? She played on your sympathies.” Ella’s analytical brain sped in circles, drawing lines and making connections. “Problems of her own … sure, like the fact that she’s so far in debt, she’s about to lose this death trap of a house? How did she get you—did she cry, or did she put on a brave face and say she’d get by, somehow…? God, it makes me sick.”

“Stop it,” Merry cried, putting her hands over her ears. “Just shut up for a second, oh my gosh. What are you even talking about?”

Ella panted through her nose. Her insides were so cold and shaky, she had a momentary terror that she might throw up all over the tabletop. “You mean … you didn’t know?”

“Mom never said a word.” Merry stared, accusation clear in the crystalline depths of her eyes. “And neither did you.”

Ella felt the water closing over her head and kicked desperately to try to get back to the surface. “I don’t really know much, just saw a letter in Jo’s room. It might be nothing.”

Merry’s gaze narrowed, and Ella slumped. This was a nightmare. “It’s not nothing. Tell me everything you know, right now.”

That was it. Game over. As soon as Ella had haltingly laid out the few facts she was sure of, Merry stood up from the table. Her face was frozen, set in lines of anger and betrayal.

“If I wasn’t sure about staying on Sanctuary before, I am now. You were right—if Mom had told me all that stuff, it would’ve been a no-brainer. Because now that I know she’s in trouble, I want to do everything I can to help. Maybe you can’t forgive her, and that’s your choice. Personally, I can’t live with that much negativity weighing me down—I have to let it go.”

“Sweep it under the carpet and pretend it never happened,” Ella translated. “Merry, ignoring an issue and hoping it’ll never come back to bite you is not the same as letting it go.”

But Merry didn’t want to hear it—and like everything she didn’t want to hear or deal with, she ignored it. “She’s our mother.”

She’s not our mother,
Ella wanted to say.
Not in any way that matters
.

But years of negotiations had trained her to hold back anything that wouldn’t help her cause—and to look for the weak spots in an opponent’s argument.

“So,” Ella said slowly, her mind spinning like the wheels on a race car. “How about we make a deal.”

Merry stopped in the doorway. “What deal?”

Ella took a deep breath and gambled everything on her one chance to save her sister from the biggest mistake of her life.

“If I can figure out a way to save Jo Ellen and Windy Corner, you’ll come back to D.C. with me.”

Ella held her breath as best she could while meeting her sister’s stare head-on.

“And if I say no…?”

Doing her best to appear casual, Ella shrugged one shoulder. “Then I guess Jo Ellen better start looking for a new home, because I won’t lift a finger to help her.”

No matter how wrong it felt to let Windy Corner leave the Hollister family—Merry was more important.

Despite herself, Merry looked impressed. “I always knew you could be ruthless, but this is the first time I’ve seen the Ella Shark in action.”

“Commercial real estate is a cutthroat business.” Ella smiled thinly. “And I’m good at it. Which is how you know when I say I can come up with a plan to save Jo Ellen, I’m telling the truth.”