Santa Fe Fortune (19 page)

“Gwen,” he said, pushing back. “Wait.”

She glanced up at him, eyes questioning.

“Not now, sweetheart. You don’t want to do this.”

“I don’t?” she asked, arching her eyebrows.

Dan stroked her cheek sweetly. “Not here, not like this.”

She seemed to collect herself, her face flaming bright red.

“I’m sorry, Dan. I…practically attacked you!”

Dan repressed a smile. “Darling, it’s not that I minded. It’s just that I want you to be in your right mind when you make your next move. Tonight, you’re tired and you’ve had a little wine. You’re not used to drinking at this altitude.”

“No,” she said, flushing anew, this time from her breastbone to her toes.

“So, tonight we’ll rest, okay? Tomorrow we’ll have a talk about how we’ll plan to get together. How we’re going to make this relationship work.”

“You’re really such a nice man.” She whimpered as if she was going to break down bawling.

Dan ran his fingers through his hair, hoping she wouldn’t cry, even from tears of joy. He was flat-out exhausted. Plus, he had some serious planning to do.

“Good night, Gwen,” he said, pulling shut her bedroom door.

“Good night, Dan,” she said shyly, her cheeks and temples aglow.

****

Chapter Thirteen

 
Dan sat on the edge of his bed, knowing he’d done the right thing. As much as he loved Gwen and was desperate to have her, tonight hadn’t been the right time. Despite her fiery kisses, she hadn’t been ready. In fact, the poor darling had been a wreck. Something had changed between the time he took Rascal down to the barn and had come back here. He guessed she’d been thinking things over and had decided she couldn’t go through with it. She’d been as nervous as a filly in a rainstorm when he’d helped her off with her boots. Kissing was all she seemed to want to do, and that was a-okay with him, because he’d come to the advance conclusion they shouldn’t let things get too heavy as well.

Then, after a bit of wine and a little nap, she’d turned into this sexy siren who was ready to strip him right there in the hall. But Dan believed it would have been wrong to take advantage of her. He didn’t know if that was what she really wanted any more than she did. Dan had sensed the conflict Gwen was facing and had seen it play out firsthand. She wanted to be with him but was afraid, and he understood that. The men in her life she’d mentioned hadn’t exactly been the most reliable. First, her father had run out on her, and then her ex-husband had been an absolute jerk. It was no wonder she had mixed feelings about taking this final step in closeness. The people she’d trusted had let her down. Dan understood that when a woman like Gwen slept with a man, trust was of the utmost importance.

While some women thought casual sex was no big deal, and Dan had enjoyed the company of a few of them, he understood that Gwen was of a different ilk. Because of who she was and what she’d been through, he couldn’t ask something so intimate and personal of her without granting her assurance they had a future. She was far too vulnerable from her last disaster to take sleeping with a man cavalierly. Dan was trying to remain sensitive to that. He could tell it had helped when he’d told her they would discuss their relationship tomorrow. That was exactly what Dan wanted with Gwen, something long-term that would last beyond her short stay here.

Dan recalled the faint glow on Gwen’s cheeks as she’d slipped behind her door, saying good night. It was hard not to imagine her coming to his room instead. In fact, he’d imagined it so hard he’d taken a ten-minute cold shower to dampen those illusions. Dan stared at the wall that separated their rooms, thinking this didn’t seem natural. What felt natural was holding Gwen in his arms. It would be natural to love her in an even more complete and physical way. His entire countenance yearned to give itself to Gwen and feel her respond in kind. Dan wanted that more than anything.

Fire welled in his throat as he thought of Gwen going away. He couldn’t keep her here forever. Before long, they’d be saying good-bye. Even if they made plans for her return, that still wouldn’t stop the pain of separation. Dan felt his chest tighten, sensing how hard that would be. He didn’t want Gwen to be two thousand miles across the country from him, damn it. He wanted her here, close enough to hold and talk to. Phone calls, text messages, and video chats couldn’t substitute for seeing those beautiful brown eyes in person. Hearing her voice through an electronic device wouldn’t take the place of having her beside him and holding his hand, or having her company on a midnight trail ride.

Dan thought of the image he’d had earlier while down at the barn, that picture of the blonde-haired little girl, and his heart stilled. A split second later, it began to beat faster, competing with his racing thoughts. Dan balled his hands into fists, finally understanding what was wrong. He couldn’t let Gwen leave Santa Fe without ensuring some kind of commitment between them. Dan had to believe she’d be coming back, and not just for visits either.

Gwen tossed and turned under the covers, not understanding why she couldn’t get comfortable. The bed was well appointed enough and plenty roomy. Maybe it was the extra room that was giving her pause. Gwen rolled onto her side and faced the wall that separated her room from Dan’s. No doubt he was sound asleep. After his excellent job of playing host and making that fabulous dinner, she could bet he was exhausted. He’d had a full day starting with minding the gallery and ending with a memorable make-out session. Gwen felt her lips pull into a smile, recalling his warmth wrapping around her and his hot and sexy kisses.

Then suddenly, she felt her face burn hot. When Dan had awakened her from her nap, she’d practically thrown herself at him! Nearly pulled his jeans off right outside this door, for heaven’s sake. Gwen didn’t know what had gotten into her, either the wine or the late-night hour. All she knew was that when he’d walked her back to her room and she’d found herself in his arms, she’d had the inclination to strip him naked. She thought she’d tried it too but couldn’t fully recall. That part was fuzzy.

 
Gwen dropped her face in her hands, vowing to watch her intake of booze during her next visit to New Mexico. She’d been thrilled when Dan had said he wanted a relationship, and hoped that her off-the-charts behavior tonight hadn’t changed his mind. Her heart leapt still at the thought that this marvelous feeling would continue. Nothing made her happier than envisioning a future with Dan. She guessed they would work out the logistics in the morning.

Sadness welled within her at the thought of leaving. She knew it was silly to feel down when she had so much to be thankful for. She’d sold her paintings and could help save Marian’s house. Her art career had been launched in full as well. On top of all that, she’d met an extraordinary man and had fallen in love with him. What was even more exceptional was that he loved her too. Gwen understood she should be grateful to have met someone as wonderful as Dan. It wasn’t ideal that he lived across the country from her, but some people spent a lifetime never finding that special match. It would be hard being apart, but with all the modern technological advances to aid them, they could find their way through. Or could they?

Gwen pulled her pillow to her chest, her heart aching. She wanted to believe so badly things would work out, but was a long-distance affair really what she wanted? One of the things she loved most about Dan was all he had to offer her in person. His warm, caring gaze… That wry twist to his lips… His strong yet tender touch… She supposed she could live without those during the periods when they couldn’t see each other, but she didn’t know how. Gwen cast her gaze around the darkened room, recalling her earlier projections of a nursery. Already, she’d imagined herself having children with Dan. She knew there were risks involved, but given the advancements in modern medicine, Gwen was sure that she and Dan could arrive at an informed decision. No matter how genetic testing played out, Gwen couldn’t imagine any child of hers and Dan’s not being an utter blessing.

Gwen startled herself with her calm realization. She didn’t just want to date Dan; she wanted a life with him, full-time—right here in New Mexico. There was too much holding him here for Dan to leave Santa Fe. He had roots here and his day job, but more importantly, he ran Paradise Ranch. So many families relied on him, and he was making such a difference to so many kids, Gwen couldn’t ask him to walk away.

While she had family commitments in North Carolina, she could arrange for frequent visits. Elizabeth was already well cared for, and Gwen could oversee her finances from a distance. What Elizabeth appreciated most about Gwen was her written communications. It would be easy enough for those to continue. Marian would surely be supportive. She’d want nothing more than for Gwen to be happy, really and truly happy, for the first time in forever. With the tremendous financial burden of meeting her mortgage lifted, Marian would be building a new life for herself anyhow.

Gwen’s heart beat faster in hopeful anticipation. Could she dare to believe that Dan might feel the same way? If he did, would he want to take things slowly or charge right ahead like a knight on his steed? She felt her face flush at the memory of that marvelous trail ride. Dan’s pronouncements of love had swept her away even more than his kisses. Then later, his steady reserve had told her how greatly he respected her. Dan had sensed she was tipsy, and wasn’t going to sleep with her until he believed she had full command of her senses. He cared for her in a thoughtful and selfless way that no man ever had.

She adored him. All that Dan was and stood for were the characteristics she’d sought in a man. Only she hadn’t known that until she’d found him. Even in her wildest dreams, she hadn’t believed such a phenomenal person existed. Much less could she imagine someone as terrific as that might fall for her. But he had, and now here she was all alone in his guest room on Paradise Ranch. This wasn’t the right place for her to stay in this house. She belonged over there with Dan in his arms, lying together with him the whole night through.

Gwen knew she wouldn’t sleep a wink tonight with so much running through her heart and head. All she wanted was for the sun to come up so she could spend time with her marvelous man. She couldn’t wait to hear what he’d say about their future. Even if he wanted to date for a while and build things between them in a reasonably planned time frame, that was okay by Gwen. All she cared about was that she’d found him and something incredible had begun between them. All good things were worth a wait, and if she had to wait a while longer to have the rest of her dreams come true, she’d be glad to. Gwen was old enough to understand that full-fledged dreams didn’t often get handed to you. You had to work at them to bring about your heart’s desire. Dan Holbrook was the man she loved and intended to hang on to. She was ready to roll up her sleeves and get cracking. By the time all was said and done, Dan would wholly believe he could never find a woman to love him more completely than Gwen. She was prepared to give him everything she had to offer. She just hoped that was enough.

Dan got up early and went for a morning ride. He had a thing or two he needed to discuss with Rascal, and Rascal was a good one for advice. The best part about him was that he was an excellent listener, encouraging Dan to share his thoughts. Dan led them up the mountain trail to the overlook where he’d taken Gwen last night. The memories of their moonlight kisses heated him like the sun bathing a cactus flower. God, he loved that woman. He loved her more than he ever thought possible. Dan hadn’t even known he’d possessed emotions this deep. Now that he’d admitted it to himself as well as to Gwen, he had to do something about it.

“What do you think, old boy?” he asked the horse. “Interested in another filly joining the family?”

Rascal whinnied loudly and stomped one foot.

Dan warmly stroked his mane. “Thought you might understand.”

The horse looked back over his shoulder, giving Dan a curious snort.

“Well, you’ve got a girlfriend of your own, don’t you?”

Rascal turned away, pointing his gaze toward the valley.

“Yep,” Dan said, patting his neck. “I figured you’d say that. It’s not all up to me, is it, fellow? My filly has to agree.”

Dan sat there with his horse, staring for a long time as the sun peeked above the horizon. Paradise Ranch was Dan’s sanctuary, the place he’d always gone to retreat from the world. Now he could think of nothing better than having the most beautiful part of that world come and join him.

If someone had approached Dan two weeks ago and said he’d be sitting here today having such thoughts, Dan would have called that person crazy. But that was before Ms. Gwendolyn Marsh blew into town, upending his heart like a wild, west wind. By getting to know Gwen, Dan had come to understand he could never get enough of her.

He’d never forget that first romantic dinner by
Loretto
Chapel and the way he’d burned to kiss her. He wanted her a thousand times more now, and kissing Gwen was only one of about a million things on his mind. He longed to see that beautiful smile, day after day, until he’d run clear through his final calendar. He wanted to set her free from financial worry and fully support her art. He knew he could build a life with her, one that would make both of them happy.