Sarah's Surrender (11 page)

He was moving too fast for her. Entirely too fast. Even if she had been completely sure she was going to give in to him, it would be too soon. But she wasn't sure anymore. The conversation with Jaime had tilted her on her axis, and she felt as if she had a new understanding of him. It wasn't something that she was pleased with, either.

John felt her withdrawal and frustration screamed through his guts. The pleasure he felt just from having her in his arms and kissing her was mind-blowing. It was beyond his comprehension and experience that she wouldn't want to act on it. He looked down at the simple white cotton of her bra and impatience exploded inside him. Her skin was impossibly white, the top swells of her breasts were making him ache. He felt a sharp sense of urgency to take her, both to cement his hold on her through a sexual relationship and to alleviate the churning in his groin. The fact that she was trying to slow him down was completely unacceptable. He reached for her at the same time as she grabbed her t-shirt from his hand and stepped back from him.

Sarah covered her breasts with her shirt and stepped out of his reach. She heard a low, deep growl come from his chest that sounded like a wounded animal. The expression on his face had her moving away and putting the width of the room between them. She stepped behind a side table to put a further obstacle between them and quickly pulled the t-shirt over her head. It was inside out, but there wasn't any way in hell she was going to take the time to fix it.

She watched him like he was a rabid dog that was about to attack. He stood in one place and scanned her as he lifted one eyebrow. "You think I'm going to let you get away that easily?" His gaze travelled over her body, up to her face and appraised her in a deceptively lazy fashion. His tone and the look in his eyes put her back up and sent a new arrow of determination down her spine.

She met his eyes without flinching. "You don't have a lot of choice."

He let out a small puff of laughter and shook his head. "You're the one who doesn't have a choice."

He began to walk toward her and Sarah felt a small shred of hysteria.
"Stay back!"
She screamed.

He momentarily stopped but his next words gave her no comfort, even though his voice had gentled. "You need to reconcile yourself to what's about to happen, sweetheart."

Her heart clenched at his words and a shiver of panic turned into real distress that she wouldn't be able to control the situation. How was she supposed to stop a man from making love to her when her own body was begging her brain to let him do it? She was shocked to feel a knot in the back of her throat that signaled tears weren't that far away. She swallowed and twisted her hands. "I'm not ready!" she shouted. "Are you really okay with intimidating me into having sex with you?"

A dark frown colored his countenance that only made him look more male. "I'm not trying to intimidate you."

Sarah was horrified when she felt tears well in her eyes as she tried to speak. She attempted to blink them away but still couldn't get her vocal chords to behave. She lowered her eyes from his.

John felt annihilated when he saw the tears in her eyes. He took a step toward her with the vague idea of giving her some kind of comfort but she looked up and shook her head frantically. Exasperated with himself for even giving a shit, he tried to alleviate her tears. "Not trying to intimidate you, babe. It seems like the next step, that's all." He tried to make his voice low and soothing, but had no idea if he was accomplishing that. "We met, we're attracted to each other, you lost the boyfriend." He refused to even use the word fiancé again, it only pissed him off when he thought about how close the other man had come to claiming her. "Now we sleep together."

He saw her swallow and her eyes narrowed at him. "Just like that?" Her voice was soft but determined.

"It's not rocket science, babe." The comeback was out before he could stop himself. He knew the second the quip came from his mouth that he'd fucked up. He watched her suck in a breath at his sarcastic response and he knew he was about to feel the brunt of her anger.

"Get out of my house." Her voice shot daggers at him.

She threw her shoulders back and he could see her spine stiffen as if a steel rod had been pushed through it. "What do you want from me, Sarah?"

"I want some time to get to know you before we fall into bed."

It was a simple answer but he didn't care for it a bit. "Why?" he asked her in a voice that held more than a touch of male irritation.

"Why?"

"That's the question. Why do we need to wait?" Why the hell would she want to wait when it wouldn't accomplish anything? All it would do would be to make him that much hornier, that much more rushed, that much more impatient with her. He wasn't a patient man.

"Are you serious?" She sounded completely dumbfounded.

"Yep."

"We need to wait because we need time to get to know each other. Because after I get to know you, I'll know if I want to sleep with you." Sarah bit the words out to him one at a time as if she was explaining something to someone who refused to learn.

"Nobody wants to sleep together after they get to know each other," he stated bluntly.

"Oh my God. Is that what you really think?"

He looked her up and down and raised one eyebrow. "You got to get it while it's hot."

"Get it while it's hot?"
She knew she kept on repeating everything he said. She just couldn't seem to help it. The words that came from his mouth were
so un-fucking-believable.

Sarah watched him run his fingers through his hair in what looked like pure male aggravation. He turned away and then back to face her in a quick move that relayed his frustration. "I don't know what your hold up is. I want to sleep with you. That's all I want. So simple."

"That's all you want? You are so freakin' rude. You're rude and impatient and--"

He interrupted her with a hiss, "Forgive the shit out of me! Maybe you haven't noticed, but I haven't had a cigarette in almost two fucking days!" His mouth was carved into lines of strain, his eyes were hot on hers.

Sarah froze and stared at him. "What? Why?"

His mouth flattened into a thin line. "Because you don't like it."

Sarah was speechless. Momentarily, absolutely speechless. He quit smoking for her? A small kernel of pleasure blossomed within and began to spread, radiating out from the inside.

And then he spoke again. "So what the fuck do you want, Sarah? What's it going to take for those twisted little panties to come off?"

Sarah breathed in deeply and just stopped herself from ordering him from her house again. Fury and shock in equal amounts pumped through her. The guy damn well thought he could say whatever the hell he felt. So why not give him an answer? "My girlfriend said you're a player. That you screw women and dump them. She warned me--"

"This the same girlfriend who was with you at the
Cut-n-Shoot?"
he asked her in a dry voice.

"Yes, why?" She frowned at him.

"No reason. Just want to know who's talking shit about me." John knew he'd pissed more than a few women off in the county. But he hadn't recognized her friend that night. As far as he knew, he'd never met the other woman before and whether it was true or false, he didn't know how she'd come into the knowledge that she had.

"So, are you denying it?" She crossed her arms and waited for his answer.

He didn't mind telling her the truth as he saw it. "I don't screw women and dump them. We get together, it plays out, end of story."

"And do these women agree? Or are you the one who decides when it's over?" she asked him in a tone that pretty much said she thought he was lower than a snake.

He watched her for a moment in silence. Her mood had gone swiftly from tears to angry accusation. She was being clingy and needy already and he hadn't even gotten in her goddamn pants yet. And why the hell wasn't he running in the opposite direction already? "I don't really need your shit, Sarah."

"That's fine. You don't need my shit and I'm not going to roll over like a simple-minded slut and spread my legs for you. So that's one issue down and now we only have one to go." Sarah knew she wasn't going to get any help from him now, so she didn't need to take care not to piss him off. "We can move on to the reason I came to see you in the first place. Are you going to help me or not?"

She really wasn't a bit surprised when he crossed the room and came to stand in front of her. She wasn't surprised but she couldn't help the shivers that ran down her spine. She lifted her chin and stood her ground while she waited to see what his reaction would be.

She didn't have long to wait.

He lifted her face in his callused palm and jerked her chin up until her eyes were on his. "Don't make the mistake of thinking you can control me, babe. I've warned you about that before. We'll get to the second issue when the first one is resolved. And it will be resolved when you're naked in my bed. You want to get to know me? Fine. I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow night. Be ready."

His mouth landed on hers and he kissed her just once before he turned and walked out the door.

****

Sarah couldn't think of anything else besides her upcoming 'date', and by the time seven o'clock came the next evening, she was nothing but a bundle of nerves. There really wasn't much of anywhere to go around here, and she seriously doubted they'd make the drive back to San Antonio, so she opted for casual and dressed in capri pants and a soft cotton t-shirt. Low-heeled, silver sandals completed her outfit, and she was as ready as she'd ever be.

She was a few minutes early and saw no reason to act as if she wasn't, so she sat on the old porch swing and waited for him to drive up.

He arrived a short time later, and Sarah noticed at once that he wasn't in the SUV, but in the diesel pick-up truck that he'd been driving the first time she met him. The memory of that day snuck up on her, and the knowledge that she was about to climb up in that truck made a shiver of helplessness run through her. She quickly steeled her nerves and reminded herself that she was in control of her own actions.

She stood and locked her front door, grabbed her purse and walked to the truck. He pushed the passenger door open from the inside, and she pulled it open and stepped up on the running board. She lifted herself up and within seconds she was seated next to him with the door closed.

The truck idled as he reached over and buckled her in as if she was as incapable as a four-year-old. But for whatever reason, it didn't upset her as it possibly should have, instead she felt only a moment of security, as if she was completely safe.

When the task was accomplished, he leaned away from her and gave her a cursory, unreadable look and then put the truck in reverse. As he negotiated the move, he drawled, "City girl."

Their glances connected and Sarah felt the impact of his eyes. She licked her lips. "Why do you say that?"

"You locked the front door. You're in the middle of nowhere, sweetheart. Who do you think you're locking it against?"

"I don't know. It's habit, I guess."

"Yeah. City girl."

"I'm sorry you don't like it," she answered him crisply.

"Where'd you get the idea I don't like it?" He stopped at the crossroads before turning onto the paved highway and turned to study her. His eyes ran over her, from her head, down her torso, stopping at her breasts, before lifting to her face again. "I like it, all right." His words were drawled, low and deep, and they set subterranean quakes shooting through her stomach.

Sarah didn't know how to respond. Anything she might have said would be in a voice that she was very afraid might tremble, so she tried to keep her expression neutral. He must have figured out he wasn't going to rile her as easily as he wanted, and he looked away from her and resumed driving.

She didn't ask him where they were headed, but it didn't surprise her when he pulled onto his own property some twenty minutes later.

He pulled up in front of his house, and before she could get her unruly brain to function, he climbed down and walked around to her side. He opened her door and held out his hand to her. "You going to sit there all night?"

Sarah swallowed and put her hand in his. He pulled her from the truck and walked with her behind him, tugging on her hand as he led her into the house.

Wonderful smells hit her as she entered and she knew someone had cooked dinner, probably his housekeeper. He confirmed that as he said, "I hope you're hungry. Beth left us some dinner."

"She's not here?"

"Nah, she went home."

"I thought she might live with you."

"Nope."

"Oh." The idea they were all alone in the secluded house could easily start playing a mind game on her. She shoved the thought to the back of her brain.

He led her through the living room to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. He pulled out two beers and offered her one. "Let's have a drink before we eat."

She hated beer. She always had and she knew for a fact she always would. "I'm not crazy about beer."

"You want something else?" he asked with a low-pitched drawl.

"What do you have?" She knew she shouldn't have alcohol tonight, but having a drink to calm her nerves was more than tempting. Suddenly, it was mandatory.

"Whatever you want," he said in a smooth voice that indicated to her he meant more than just a beverage.

She ignored the look in his eye. She wanted a drink but she also needed to stay in control. "Wine-cooler?"

"No." The word shot from his mouth as if he'd never considered letting a six-pack of wine-coolers grace his refrigerator.

"Zinfandel?" she questioned.

"No."

"Wine of any kind?"

"No."

She blinked up at him. Why the heck had he told her he had whatever she wanted? She was silent as he walked over to a sideboard and opened it. He held the cabinet door ajar and looked inside. "Tequila. Bourbon. Rum. Vodka. Gin." His dark voice rang out as he sank to his haunches and moved a few things aside and then stood again. "No scotch."