Savage (Daughters of the Jaguar) (22 page)

They called from the newspaper and said they loved the story, especially the pictures. It would all be in the paper the next day. I was happy when I hung up and decided to forget all about the nightmare and this morning with Aiyana. She was only playing hard to get, I thought to myself. Maybe she enjoyed the power she possessed over me, which was beginning to be pretty obvious. Yes. That was just it.

Later I started reading in the books and going through the notes Jim had given me. It was all just a lot of words and more appalling pictures that no longer meant anything to me, but at least I was giving it a try. 

Jim rang the doorbell at two o’clock and we studied until four. He was being really nice and patient with me, which was necessary since I had a hard time finding the interest for all this that had once been a huge part of my life. We sat in the garden afterwards and talked about med school and what I had to be aware of and which teachers I should try and avoid and so on. Jim was in his third year so he was going to be a great ally to have. He even told me he would be willing to help me with my exams as long as Dr. Kirk kept paying him. Then he laughed and gave me an elbow. I laughed politely.

“You’ll do fine,” he said when the laughing had stopped.

It felt reassuring. They all had so much confidence in me, and I was really afraid of letting them down.

Jim left just as Heather came home. This time I could no longer avoid her. I was sitting in the kitchen having a snack when she entered and threw her bag on the table. Then she looked at me.

“Do you mind telling me what is going on?”

I swallowed a bite of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I had enjoyed until that moment. It was something completely new to me since we didn’t have it where I came from. When I first saw Maria make it I was revolted but since I took the first bite I had to surrender.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Don’t start with that. I saw you over there. I saw you sitting on that porch outside that … that … crazy house, with that strange girl.”

I got up from my chair and took my plate with me. I shrugged. “So what? What’s the big deal about that?”

Heather rolled her eyes. “What’s the big deal? The big deal is that Daddy is going to go ballistic when he hears that you have been spending your time in there with that family.”

I threw out the remains of the sandwich and put the plate in the dishwasher. “Why?” I asked.

“Because he hates them,” she said.

I looked at her. “Hates them? But why?”

“Don’t you understand? They’re destroying this neighborhood. They don’t fit in here.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t understand that at all. All I have seen are nice people that have been really nice to me and treated me like a part of their family.”

Heather exhaled. “Okay. There is no easy way to say this so I am just going to say it straight out. They’re living off drug money.”

I had to laugh out loud. “Drug money? Are you kidding me? You know they are just a bunch of nice women in there, right?”

“It was the father,” said Heather.

I went quiet. “What do you mean?”

“He worked for a drug cartel or something. That’s what Daddy told me. I asked him the other day when we were at the hospital while mother was asleep, if he knew what had happened to their father. He said that he knew from friends in the police that they had an eye on him. They suspected that the father was like a courier. That’s why he traveled all the time. You know, to South America and Asia and Europe and stuff. They think he might have come in bad standing somehow and that’s why he disappeared all of a sudden. It has happened to a lot of people these last years. They make tons of money with drugs and suddenly they disappear. The body is never found. Some say they feed the alligators with their bodies.”

I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to hear this. “It can’t be true,” I said.

Heather shook her head. “I know you don’t want to believe it, but look at them. How do you think they can afford to live in a twenty-five million dollar house like that? In a neighborhood like this where people are doctors and famous lawyers. They don’t work, they don’t even send their kids to school. You can’t be with those people. They are not right in their minds. They are like children. They are not decent people like you and I. None of those girls will get a proper education. Social Services have been on their case several times about their lack of schooling, but somehow they manage to keep out of trouble. She is allegedly homeschooling them, but she is always playing that horrible instrument. I don’t think she is teaching them anything. I tell you, Chris. That mother in there is nuts. Not letting her children go to school, growing all those weird weeds that she calls herbs in the garden and turning the place into a hippie festival whenever they have guests. They’re living off drug money, it is only a matter of time before the police gets on to them. You don’t want to be in the middle of it when they’re going down, do you? They’ll drag you with them. You’d be thrown out of the country.”

I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t believe what she was saying. I refused to believe it. “No, they are good people. They are nice and loving and caring and …”

“Tell me you haven’t wondered where they get their money from,” she said.

I breathed deeply. Of course I had. “I just assumed they had some kind of insurance or that the father left them some money somehow.”

“Oh, he left them money, alright. Blood money. They didn’t even look for him, did you know that? The father. When he disappeared they didn’t even search for him nor have the police search for him. I think they knew he was dead. They also knew why he was dead and they didn’t want the police to find out about it. You have to be very careful with those women. They will dazzle you with their beauty and make you believe all sorts of things. They’re just scammers. Like the gypsies they look like.”

“That’s nonsense. That’s all stupid rumors, coming from people who don’t understand who they really are,” I replied. My voice was shaking.

“Now you are protecting them? It is worse than I thought. They’re slowly turning you into one of them. They want you for some reason. Maybe they think you should marry one of the girls. They must be anxious to get rid of some of them and have fewer mouths to feed.”

“To say a thing like that is idiocy and you know it.” I was yelling now. My throat felt tighter and I had a hard time breathing. “I love Aiyana and it doesn’t matter to me what her family might have been or might not have been!”

Heather laughed an insecure laughter. “She has you nicely rolled around her finger, hasn’t she? She knew how to push the right buttons and make you fall for her. Lifting up her skirt in front of you, casually throwing a laugh at what you said. But it is all just an illusion, Chris. She wants nothing but your money so she can continue to live a life without having to lift a finger. Besides. Dad is never going to allow it.”

“Dr. Kirk is not my dad,” I said. “He doesn’t rule over me.”

Heather laughed again. “Oh, yes he does. No one defies Dr. Kirk.”

Realizing that this was an endless discussion that I would never win, I rolled my eyes at her and walked away. She yelled something at me that I didn’t hear, and as I reached my room I slammed the door behind me. Sitting on my bed I felt my body shaking. What if Heather was right? What if they had been playing tricks on me the whole time? But how? Why? I pulled the covers over my head. Why should I believe that story about the father? Heather had no evidence, only the doctor’s words for it. It could be nothing but rumors. They knew nothing for sure. Aiyana had told me herself that people made up stories about them because they were different than others. This was just one of them. My thoughts were like a whirlwind in my head. An illusion? Could she just have pretended to have heard my thoughts? After all, she did just repeat what I had just said with a “I know, I heard it.” But there were other things, too, that she couldn’t have known about me, wasn’t there? And what about Halona? She definitely had powers. That couldn’t be an illusion. And my own visions? They had turned out to be true. Mrs. Kirk had been attacked and that woman had been pregnant. That I knew for sure. That couldn’t be just a coincidence. I felt like screaming. It was all so messed up. I had no idea what to believe anymore. So I chose to believe my heart. I grabbed my guitar and ran to meet with Aiyana.

Chapter 26

 “What is wrong with you today Howahkan?” Aiyana’s mother asked. “You seem a little off. Your singing is not as beautiful as normal.”

I stared at the woman who looked like she was twenty-five and exhaled deeply. I had just played the new song for the whole family, but she was right. I hadn’t felt it like I used to.

“Is something bothering you?” she asked.

“I guess I am a little upset about this whole med school thing,” I said.

She nodded. “I understand. I would be upset, too. This world and its institutions. You’re a free spirit, Howahkan. You should live like one.”

I sighed. “It’s not always that easy,” I mumbled. “Sometimes you have to go do the sensible thing. Every day can’t be a party, you have to study and work too. You have to be responsible.” It was terrible, I heard myself sound just like my father.

Wyanet looked at me as if I had gone mad. “Nonsense,” she said.

I looked at her with fury. How could she say that? It made me think that Heather had been right about her. She was just a crazy hippie. Her approach to life was like that of an irresponsible child.

“Oh,” she said and tilted her head while looking at me. “The spirit of anger just came upon your face. I could see how it just changed. You’re mad about something.”

I looked at Aiyana who was sitting in front of me. I felt so confused. She grabbed my hand and held it. I felt her warmth through my body like a quiver. How I loved her. So deeply, so dearly. Why had I been listening to those things Heather said? Why had I taken them in and believed them to be real? I knew my love, I knew her. They weren’t horrible people. They were misunderstood, resented because their ways were different.

“Be careful not to lose your faith, Howahkan,” the mother continued. “Don’t lose what you believe in, don’t lose the child within you that believes in the magic around you. It is what makes you so beautiful, it is what makes your singing so beautiful. Hold on to it, don’t give in. Don’t let yourself be conformed to this world. These years that you face now are the ones where you walk from childhood to adulthood. They are so essential to how the rest of your life will be. Don’t end up bitter and angry like the rest of them. You’re better than that.” She put a hand on my chest. “The battle is taking place in here,” she said. “Guard your heart with all you’ve got. Don’t let bad emotions like bitterness, jealousy, resentment and anger take root inside of you. It will eat you alive.”

I nodded. I knew she was right. How could I have thought those things about these nice people that had been like a family to me? It was here in this house I felt at peace, it was here I felt at home. It was here I had found the comfort I hadn’t felt since my mother died.

I picked up the guitar again and started playing with all of my heart. This time, the notes floated beautifully in the air as I sang of my love to Aiyana, the woman of my dreams, the woman who held the keys to my heart.

Next morning my article was in the paper. I went to get several issues of The St. Augustine Record at the newspaper stand, then I bought a cup of coffee and drank it while reading. I truly enjoyed what they had done with it. The article had turned out really good and the pictures were splendid. They had put them exactly like I wanted them, as a series of photos showing the hunting predator attacking an alligator. This would definitely make people talk, I thought happily as I drove back to the house. Jim was supposed to come later in the afternoon so I wanted to catch up on some of my reading. If I was to become a doctor, I wanted to be a damn good one. I had been thinking about it all night and decided to make the best of it. I had decided that they were all right. They all made excellent points. But in the end, the decision was mine. My future was my own. It was important to have an education so I had something to fall back on if my singing never amounted to anything. But it was also important for me to stay true to who I was and keep playing my music. I was going to try and make a demo tape with my songs and send it to a recording studio. They would surely reject me, but I would keep trying and writing more songs. That would keep me sane through med school. And if it never worked out? Then I would just marry Aiyana and settle down as a pediatrician or as a doctor working in a children’s hospital. In that way, it made sense to me to become a doctor. I didn’t want to be one just like my father. I wanted to do it differently. This way I would be taking care of someone and it wasn’t all about the money. I might even be able to play my guitar for them and give them a joyful time that could make them forget about their suffering for just a few minutes. There were plenty of opportunities this way. And the best part was that I got to be close to Aiyana. By going to med school I could stay in the country and live with the Kirks until I was able to support myself. I would see Aiyana every day and spend time on the weekends with her and her family even if I had to do it secretly. She was worth it.