Savage Desire (Savage Lagonda 1) (29 page)

He cupped her face in his hands. Her eyes were an icy green. "Mara, there is something I must ask you. It has been tearing at my insides. I fear to ask because the answer is so important to me, to us, to our future together."

"You want to know what Anias did to me," she said angrily.

Tajarez nodded. "Did he violate you?"

Mara swallowed hard. "Did Tanka violate you, Tajarez?"

He looked startled for a moment. There would be no lies between them. "No, I did not lie with Tanka, but I might have if it would have gotten me the information I wanted."

Mara felt sick inside. She turned her back on him and walked to the cushion she had been sitting on earlier, and sank down into its softness. She needed time to digest what he had told her. He was saying it was all right for him to be with Tanka, but their whole future hung on whether or not Anias had been intimate with her.

She felt him sit down beside her and take her hand. "Mara, do not keep me waiting. I have not been able to sleep or eat, believing the worst."

"Tajarez, I do not know what you consider the worst. I am very ignorant when it comes to man-woman relationships."

He closed his eyes. "Tell me what he did."

"Do not make me relive that nightmare. Could we not forget that it ever happened? As I said, I want to go home."

"No, Mara, we cannot forget." He hated what he was putting her through, but he had to know. "Tell me what he did," he persisted.

She buried her head in her hands and sobbed out her misery. "He put his hands on me. I hated the way he ... he touched me."

"What else, Mara," Tajarez insisted.

"You saw my gown. Do not make me say it."

He made her look at him. "Mara, did he penetrate your body? Do not be afraid to tell me, Mara. Even if Anias did violate you, and I can no longer ask you to be my bride, I will not abandon you. I will set you up in your own home and give you anything you desire. I will spend every moment I can with you, and if there are children from our union, I shall love them even though they will not be allowed to bear the royal name."

Mara's head jerked up. The tears were now dry on her face. How dare he! She considered for a moment letting him believe Anias had succeeded in violating her body. It would serve him right. But then she knew she could never lie about anything so important.

"In the white man's world what you are offering me is the honor of being your mistress. I know ladies of breeding are not supposed to know about such things, but it is commonly known among the girls in St. Louis."

Tajarez frowned. "I do not know this word 'mistress.' What I offer you is a life with me. Even though you will not be my wife, you will be very honored and be well provided for."

"Did Tanka also live in a fine house you provided for her and enjoy your illustrious company?"

"I told you, Mara, there would be no lies between us. Yes, Tanka was provided with a modest home, and I did visit her often."

Mara rose to her feet. "I will not accept what you offer, Tajarez. You bring dishonor to me."

"Mara, in the white world it may be considered a dishonor, but in the Seven Cities, a woman favored by the prince has every honor and is looked up to by the people, and yes, even envied by many."

Mara drew in her breath. "You told me once you were married that you could never be with another woman. What would happen to me once you took a bride?" Mara was seething inside. How could he think that she would ever consent to be a kept woman?

"Mara, I will never marry. If I cannot have you as my wife, I want no other." He could not understand the anger in her voice. Did she not know what a sacrifice he would be making in her behalf?

All of his hopes and dreams had been shattered. He wanted her as his wife, but if it could not be, he would have her the only way he could. She would be the mother of his sons, even though their children could never sit on the throne of the Seven Cities.

He would have no one but her. His worst fears had been realized. He knew by the way she was talking that Anias had done his worst. His heart cried out in protest. Anias had taken what Tajarez had prized above all else.

"Mara, the laws of the Lagonda cannot be changed to suit me. If they could, I would ask that you be my bride in spite of the fact that you would be considered unclean by others. I am willing to overlook what Anias did to you. We will never think about it, just put it out of your mind."

"Your generosity overwhelms me, Tajarez. You would be making a great sacrifice."

Tajarez nodded, not realizing the trap he was walking into. "Mara, I feel it is my fault that Anias took you. Your brother gave you into my keeping, thinking I would keep you safe. I can only tell you how sorry I am, and ask that you forgive me." He reached out for her hand and she pulled away from him.

"I cannot think of the words to say to you Tajarez. You are much too generous. No woman could have had a more eloquent proposal."

"It is not generosity, Mara. I do not want to be without you. As a matter of fact, there is no reason you cannot move into my tent tonight. Palomas already suspects, as I did, that you have been rendered unclean. He will not object now if you stay with me." His voice deepened. "Oh, beloved, it will be so different between us. It will not be like it was with Anias. I will give you joy, and you will want for nothing."

"You dare to speak to me in this manner?" Mara rose and whirled on him, unable to contain her anger. "In my eyes, Tajarez, we are man and wife, although you do not acknowledge the fact. But what you are proposing to me is both degrading and disgusting."

He clenched his teeth. "I do not think so, Mara. You dare to speak to
me
in this manner?"

"Yes! I dare defend my name and my virtue against you. You are little better than your cousin Anias."

He was on his feet in one quick motion, and pulled her against him with a grip of iron. "You have no choice, Mara."

"I do have a choice, and I am going home, and not you or anyone can stop me."

"Can I not? We will see about that." He turned his back to her. "You may leave me now. I have no desire to talk to you any further. You have made me very angry."

Mara walked around him and stood facing him. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly from her heavy breathing. Anger burned in her eyes and they flashed like green fire.

"I have made
you
angry. Let me tell you something, oh mighty prince of the Seven Cities. I have never been so angry in all my life. No one has ever treated me as you have. I will not tolerate this kind of treatment from you or anybody."

His eyes narrowed as he looked at her. "I said leave me. That was not a request; it was an order."

"And I refuse your order. I am not one of your subjects."

He gripped her shoulders and glared into her face. "No one disobeys me, not even you. Leave me at once." His hands gripped her shoulders as he propelled her across the room. "See her to her tent," he told Palomas, "and make sure she stays there until further notice."

Mara was so angry she was trembling. Palomas took her hand and gently pulled her toward the opening. Mara shoved him away and turned to Tajarez once more. "I will not be sent to my tent like a child being punished."

Tajarez raised his eyebrow. "If you act like a child, you will be treated as one."

"I will go to my tent by myself, but I will leave you with this thought. Anias did not rape me, as you suspected, and I am not unclean, as you put it."

She watched as the color left Tajarez's face. "Are you certain?" he whispered. "Anias did not penetrate your body?"

"Of course, I am certain. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to my tent, but only because I want to."

"Mara, wait, we must talk."

"No! I no longer have anything to say to you." With that she swept out of the tent opening.

Palomas did not understand anything that had been said, but he did sense that Mara had got in the last word. He smiled at Tajarez and shrugged his shoulders.

Tajarez stood at the tent opening and watched Mara disappear into her tent. There was joy in his heart. She would still be his wife. It was now apparent why she had been so angry when he had offered her a position as his favorite, thinking she was unclean.

What a magnificent princess she would be. No one had ever dared to defy him as she had. He laughed deeply, remembering her anger. She would see things his way, he thought. He was not so confident that she would easily forgive what she had witnessed in Tanka's tent that night.

I CROSSED THREE BEAUTIFUL STREAMS OF
RUNNING WATER HEADING INTO THE PRAIRIES.
ON THOSE STREAMS THE LAND [WAS] VERY FINE, COVERED WITH PEA VINE AND RICH WEED. ENTIRELY VOID OF TIMBER, EXCEPT
WHAT GROWS ON THE WATER. I PROCEEDED ON
THROUGH THOSE PRAIRIES SEVERAL MILES TO
THE MOUTH OF A LARGE CREEK. ...

—
   
William Clark

17

Mara placed her hand above her eyes to shade them from the glaring sun. They had been traveling for weeks across the never ending prairie. The land was flat, and one could see for miles in every direction. There were no trees to shelter them from the scorching sun. The ground was cracked and dry from lack of rain, and the hot winds stirred the dust, making it even more unpleasant.

Mara's skin was now tanned from the ever present sun. She did not know it, but the golden hue of her skin made her even more beautiful, and the green of her eyes more prominent. As Palomas had said to Tajarez, the Golden One's skin had turned to gold.

Mara by now was accustomed to riding astride her horse. She had managed to get her own mount returned to her, a concession Tajarez gave her grudgingly. If she had thought that Tajarez avoided her before, it was nothing compared to the way he avoided her now. He never addressed her personally. If he had something to say to her, he would tell Sasha, and she would relay the message to Mara.

Since Mara had seen Jeffery and Sasha together, she had been watchful of them. They were never alone together, but she would see the way they looked at each other, and her heart would feel fear for both of them. She wanted to ask her brother about his feelings for the gentle Indian girl, but there never seemed to be the right moment.

Sasha rode beside Mara, each day teaching her the language of the Lagonda. Mara felt she was becoming quite proficient in the language. Jeffery, too, spoke very well. Neither of them spoke English anymore. Mara wondered if Tajarez would be proud of her. It was hard to know what he thought about anything since they had quarreled. He would not come to her, and she did not seek him out. Once she had caught his eye and he had stared at her as if he did not really see her.

Mara had come to the conclusion that he was used to always getting his own way. She doubted that anyone ever disagreed with him as she had. Mara, in moments of weakness, wished they had not quarreled, and at other times her temper would flare at the thought of his treatment of her.

She loved him so much and it hurt to have him treat her so coldly. She was torn. Could she actually leave Tajarez if it came right down to it?

Mara saw a large dust cloud in the distance. The others had been aware of it long before she had spotted it. She was surprised to see herself surrounded by a dozen or more warriors. The men were grim-faced and tense. She could sense their feeling of protectiveness toward her.

Palomas rode to her right, his hand near his knife. Mara saw Tajarez and Jeffery at the head of the column. Soon the cloud of dust cleared to reveal a large group of Indians.

"Who are they, Palomas?" she asked, speaking to him in her halting speech.

"Kiowa," he told her grimly.

"Are they friend or foe?"

"I do not know. Let us hope they will prove to be friend."

The Kiowa had drawn even with Tajarez, and Mara saw him talk to them in sign language. The Lagonda were outnumbered at least two to one.

Mara saw a number of the Kiowa break away from the main group and surround them. They had very little clothing on—only breechcloths. They were plainly astonished when they saw Mara.

Palomas withdrew his knife, and the others reached for their bows and arrows. "Do not be frightened," Palomas told her. "I will not let them take you if they turn out to be the enemy."

Mara looked at the knife he held in his hand. She knew what he meant was that they would not take her alive. She nodded in agreement, feeling tense and frightened.

The leader and Tajarez had been talking for a long time, when all of a sudden, Mara saw Tajarez and the Kiowa chief ride toward her. She reached for Palomas's hand, and felt his fingers close around hers, giving her courage.

Tajarez and the Kiowa leader halted beside her. She saw the man's eyes widen as they rested on her. He reached out his hand to touch her golden hair, but his hand was stayed by Tajarez. They communicated in the sign language, and the Kiowa laughed at whatever Tajarez told him.

Tajarez spoke to Palomas. "You know what you must do if they decide to fight."

Palomas nodded.

Mara knew Palomas was to plunge his knife into her heart. He would not hesitate to do so; it would be an act of love, and she knew it.

Tajarez and the Kiowa chief communicated for some time, and then to Mara's surprise, the Kiowas regrouped and rode away.

Tajarez looked at her, and then rode to the front of the column. Soon they were on their way once more, but the warriors did not ease their guard. They were watchful for any trick the Kiowas might play.

"What did the Kiowas want, Palomas?" Mara asked innocently.

'The chief wanted you," Palomas said, with a smile playing on his lips.

'
!
Me!"

"Yes. He offered twenty horses for you, a great price for a woman."

"What did Tajarez tell him?"

"He told him you were his woman."

"What else? Palomas, you are not telling me everything."

Palomas laughed deeply. "The prince told them that you were a stubborn and willful woman and demanded much from a man."

Mara looked at him indignantly. "I am neither stubborn nor willful."

He smiled. "As you say."

"Anyway, I am not demanding."

"Are you not?"

"I do not think so, Palomas."

"It is not for me to say, Golden One, but my prince suffers much because of you."

"He is not the only one who has suffered."

"It is this way when two people love each other, I believe. When you have a baby on your knee, you will forget all your differences," Palomas summed up.

"Never!"

He laughed. "We shall see. We shall see."

That night they camped beside a dried-up riverbed. Mara felt hot and dirty. She wished for the cooler wooded area they had left behind. The heat was almost unbearable. She had never seen country such as this—an ocean of dried grasses, and endless heat. She wondered if they would ever arrive at their destination.

It was July now. Jeffery had kept an accurate account of the days. Mara walked through the camp, noticing the extra guards that had been posted. Evidently Tajarez still did not trust the Kiowas. The men who usually rode on ahead at night to set up camp for the next day were still in camp. Mara noticed an unusual amount of activity in front of Tajarez's tent. Men were coming and going and murmuring among themselves. She decided she would find out for herself what was happening. As she approached Tajarez's tent, the warriors stepped aside to allow her to enter.

Tajarez had been talking to a number of his warriors. He looked up as Mara entered. "Leave me," he told the men. His eyes blazed as he walked toward her with a grim expression on his face. "Once again you come to me when I did not summon you, Mara. Why are you here?"

"I believe I have every right to know what is going on, the same as everyone else."

He looked tired. His usual proud stance was not so much in evidence.

"I will tell you, but you may not like what you hear. My scouts report that the Kiowa we met this afternoon were joined by an even larger force, and they are heading in our direction. I do not think they are coming to talk friendship."

"Why would they possibly want to harm us? We are no threat to them."

He stared at her through half-closed eyelids. "They seek a treasure. My treasure. The Kiowa chief wants you, Mara. Did you not see the way he looked at you today?"

"Yes, but he rode away this afternoon. We were outnumbered, he could have overcome us then."

"Do you have so little faith in the Lagonda warrior? We could easily have won a battle this afternoon, and he knew it. The Kiowa chief has heard stories of the Lagonda. He did not wish an open conflict. He does not know we followed his movements today. He hopes to take us unaware with his larger force."

"I am frightened, Tajarez."

"No need to be, Mara. You will be protected to the last man."

"I do not wish any of your warriors to die because of me.

"What about me, Mara? Would you like to see me die?"

"No, of course not," she said fearfully. "I would not want that."

"You must return to your tent, Mara. Palomas will keep you safe."

He had dismissed her, but she could not begotten rid of so easily. "Tajarez, I want you to make me a promise. If it looks like the Kiowa are going to win, come to me. If my life has to be forfeited, I want it to be at your hand."

His hand closed around hers, and his dark eyes softened. He gently laid his finger to her lips. "Have more faith in me, Mara. The element of surprise will be on our side."

"Promise me, Tajarez," she insisted.

"If it goes against us, and if it is possible, I will come to you.

She turned and walked away. His eyes followed her. "I promise, my beloved," he vowed.

Tajarez knew the Kiowas would strike soon for there was little time until sundown, and they would not wage an attack after darkness, fearing the death of darkness, where the soul searches endlessly for its spirit. The Lagonda tribe did not hold with that superstition and were not bound by such fear.

Tajarez rejoined his warriors. He did not know how the confrontation with the Kiowas would end. A warrior did not consider the outcome when he went into battle as much as he considered that he would fight well and bravely. But with Mara's life at stake, Tajarez knew he must win. He called his warriors around him, then he planned their strategy. They were outnumbered, but if he planned well, they could place some of the odds in their favor.

It was stilling inside the tent, but Palomas would not allow them even to open the flap to let in fresh air. Jeffery and Sasha sat grim-faced beside Mara. Jeffery had wanted to fight with the rest of the men, but Tajarez had ordered him to look after his sister.

Palomas, who usually did not enter Mara's tent, was seated just inside the entrance, and two warriors stood guard outside.

Mara's clothes were plastered to her body with perspiration, and her hair was damp and clinging to her head. She lifted the heavy tresses and held them on the top of her head. "Why is it so quiet, Palomas? I do not hear any movement at all," Mara said.

"Some of the warriors have gone to the enemy camp. Tajarez thinks to surprise them by attacking them first."

Jeffery leaned back against the supporting pole of the tent. "If only Tajarez had let me go along. I hate this waiting, this uncertainty. I would rather be fighting than wait here, not knowing what is going on."

Sasha's hand found his. "You are very brave, Jeffery, but I am glad you are here with us."

The two of them looked lovingly into each other's eyes.

Mara looked quickly at Palomas, who was frowning at Jeffery. He then looked at Mara questioningly.

"If one is to die, Palomas, it is good to be with the one you love," she told him.

Palomas spoke softly. "It can also be very dangerous, if discovered."

"Would you tell, Palomas?"

He smiled at her. "Tell what? I have seen nothing."

Mara squeezed his hand. "There was a time I resented you, Palomas, but that is no longer true."

Palomas seemed unmoved by her words. His eyes rested on her golden hair. "I know you once resented me. I am pleased that you no longer do." Then he said in a gruff voice, afraid he had let too much of his inner self show, "It is my duty to look after you."

Mara smiled. "No one could have done more."

There was a terrible, hair-raising scream that penetrated the thin walls of the tent. Mara knew she had never heard anything so frightening. She threw herself into Palomas's arms.

"It is merely our warriors letting us know that the enemy is upon us." He pushed her roughly aside and leaped to his feet. "Jeffery, you must see that they do not take Sasha alive."

"I know. Tajarez told me, Palomas. Must we just wait here like cornered rats?"

"For the moment it is the safest place." The sounds of battle could be heard from inside the tent. There were war whoops, the sound of struggling, and sounds of death.

Mara placed her hands over her ears, trying to shut out the awful noise. She was frightened for Tajarez. Would he die? He could already be dead, and she would not know it. Oh, God, she prayed. Please protect my love and the others that I have come to know and have become so fond of. Do not let them die because of me.

Tajarez withdrew his knife from the belly of a dead Kiowa, only to face another. He leaped forward to meet his foe, his eyes dark and menacing. His hands were covered with blood, but it was not his blood. He fought as a warrior worthy to be called the son of the king. After he had disposed of the Kiowa with a knife thrust to the heart, he looked around him.