Savage Rhythm (27 page)

The fact that Molly was wrong and knew it was pretty much the last straw. She hated being wrong.

She looked straight at Declan and said, “You had no right.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Declan said abruptly. His eyes flashed. “I did this for you. I did this because when I found out something hurt you so badly that you drove to the airport by yourself, in the rain, in the middle of the night, in a stranger’s car, and there was nothing I could do about it,
it hurt me, too
. It fucking killed me. So I am going to do whatever the hell I can, cancel whatever tour dates, throw my money around, and move whatever fucking mountain happens to get in the way to keep that thing from hurting you. Right now Ford is setting up a trust in your sister’s name with you as a trustee. It’ll be yours even if you never want to talk to me again. This is one thing I can do, Molly, and fuck yes, I’m going to do it.”

Molly was stunned. She had never seen him like this, never seen him even close to angry. Not at her. She didn’t know how to react—until she looked at Lydia.

“Don’t say it hurt me, Declan,” Molly snapped. Then she turned to Lydia and said, “It didn’t hurt me, Bug. I was just scared.”

Lydia blinked back tears. “I know that, Mol, you don’t have to explain. I’m scared, too. I called you crying, remember?”

“Shit,” Declan said, running a big hand through his hair. He looked tired suddenly. “Lydia, I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t know what the hell had happened, and Molly was just…gone.”

He looked at Molly now, and for the first time she saw naked hurt in his eyes. She hadn’t thought about that when she’d left. She’d thought he’d be irritated, but not…

“Ok!” Adra said, clapping her hands. “Lydia, have you ever driven a BMW? Shauna?”

“Nope,” Shauna said, clearly relieved.

“Ditto,” Lydia whispered.

“Ok, well, let’s go cross that item off the bucket list, then. C’mon. We’ll be back…later,” Adra finished, giving Molly a slightly worried look as she herded Shauna and Lydia out to her car.

In a second, they were alone.

And for the first time, Molly didn’t know what to say to Declan. They stood there for what seemed like forever, just looking at each other. Wanting to touch each other, but feeling, for the first time, like there was a wall there.

Until Declan broke through it.

“Fuck,” he muttered, sweeping Molly into his arms. He kissed her, one hand holding the side of her face so sweetly, like he was worried she might break, the other crushing her against him like he couldn’t get close enough.

This
made sense to her. This she could do.

Her body opened to him like it always did, like it knew better than she did, only Molly was grateful for it. Her mind was being an idiot. She let the fire he set inside sweep through her, cleansing her, waking her up. This, right here, was important. This was real.

It was
real
. Happening in her home. In the real world.

She pulled away from him, saying, “I’m going to start crying again.”

Declan kept kissing her, her face, her eyes, her forehead, her neck, until she was smiling, almost laughing. So tired, so confused, still kind of…oh God, she didn’t even know anymore.

Declan pushed the hair out of her face and fixed her with a Look. A very Dom look.

He said, “You’re the only one who can be there for her when she’s scared, Molly. You’re the only one who can comfort her. I’m not trying to pretend I can fix everything. But I can do this. I will do this. I will know I’ve helped you, even a little bit.”

“Oh crap, Declan,” she said. “Look, I’m…I’m a little emotional, to the point where I’m giving myself whiplash, probably because I didn’t sleep much, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a point.”

“But that’s about you, Mol,” he said.

Damn him and his X-ray eyes.

“Molly, look at me,” he said. “Money wouldn’t make you the best big sister she could have. You are already that. You’re here. You’d turn your whole life upside down for her. You don’t need to prove it a hundred different ways.”

“Maybe I need to prove it to myself,” she said. “That I could do it this time. Be strong for her, even if back then…”

She shrugged. What was the point? She was never going to get to go back in time. She was never going to get a do-over to be tough and strong, the kind of person who could get through a pregnancy, a miscarriage, a breakup, and a death without letting people make her feel like she deserved all of it.

“You
are
strong,” he said, furiously. “You are fucking amazing, Molly Ward. If you don’t already know that, paying your sister’s way isn’t going to do shit.”

“Don’t yell at me,” she said.

Declan’s face fell. “I didn’t yell. I’m sorry I’m upset, but you shouldn’t…” He paused, his face screwed up. “You shouldn’t have left like that, Molly. You can’t just fucking disappear on people. My mother used to pull that shit all the time, and I’d have no idea if she was dead or drunk or with some guy, so just…don’t do that again, all right?”

Oh God.

If Molly had thought she felt bad before, she’d had no idea.

“I didn’t know,” she said. She sat down on her old couch, feeling exhausted, empty.

“You didn’t know what?” he asked gruffly. “That my mother fucked me up, or that you matter?”

“I didn’t think…” she stuttered, finding it so difficult to say. This was dangerous territory. “It’s just an arrangement,” she said, finally. “Isn’t it? No obligations.”

“I don’t know what this should be,” Declan said. “And I don’t know if I can make any promises, because she did fuck me right up. But I know I care about you.”

He walked over to the couch and sat beside her, pulling her into his lap and holding her there, his eyes boring into hers.

“I fucking love you, Molly,” he said.

“Oh God,” she choked. “I…”

She couldn’t say it.

And then she just stared at him in terror. The last remaining bulwark that might have protected her form her own feelings for Declan just came crashing down. She loved this man. She knew if she let it happen that she would come to need this man. To depend on him, the way she promised herself she would never depend on anyone, ever.

To give up control forever.

“Yeah, we’re pretty well fucked,” Declan said, and kissed her.

She kissed him back as hard as she could, wrapping her arms around his neck, willing her body to melt into his. Molly would just bury all of this in him, in the two of them together, in feeling now, rather than thinking about her future…

“You are not staying here,” Declan rasped, pulling away long enough to let her know he wasn’t kidding. “Not somewhere you’re not safe.”

“Declan—”

“No, not an option,” he said sternly, and pulled at her shorts. “I will camp the fuck outside your door. Or you can come stay at Volare.”

“I have been living here my entire life—”

He growled, and flipped her on her stomach. Suddenly she was over his knees, her ass up in the air. She looked back over her shoulder at him in surprise and couldn’t keep herself from smiling at what was coming. Or from squirming. He knew what this did to her—and knew she was arguing now, just because.

“What did I say?” he said, pulling her shorts and underwear down over her hips, down to her knees. Molly buried her face in her arms and lifted her ass ever so slightly in the air, wanting it bad. Wanting him. She looked over her shoulder again.

“You can’t make me,” she said.

“Worse,” he said. “I can make you want to.”

Smack
.

Smack.

Smack
.

Oh God, he was right. She was soaking wet, wanting nothing more than—

“Oh!” she cried as he pushed his fingers into her, pushing herself off the couch only to have him shove her back down. She clawed at the upholstery while he fucked her with his fingers, helpless to move, to do anything but offer herself up to him. When she was close he stopped and flipped her onto her back, his dark eyes hovering over her, his hand slipping back between her legs.

“I want to watch you come for me,” he said, pushing her shirt up over her breasts with one hand, fucking her with the other. “
Come,
” he ordered.

She did, fast and hard, mouth open in a mute scream, her muscles fluttering around his fingers like a startled bird. A whole new kind of orgasm for her, surprised and speechless, eyes wide and searching his face for what that just was. It took her a second to remember to breathe.

“Where’s your bed?” he asked.

She pointed, her hand shaking.

And then he was lifting her up, effortlessly, half dressed, and carrying her to her own bed. The bed she’d been lonely in for years, the bed where she’d cried herself to sleep for a year after her life had fallen apart, the bed she hadn’t been able to see as anything other than the place where everything had been ruined.

Declan was going to make it into something else.

He set her down, took his phone out. “I’m telling Adra to take them for a long lunch,” he said. He looked up. “Now take off those clothes.”

chapter
28

Molly had never gotten undressed quite that fast before.

She loved being naked in front of him. Molly never thought that would happen, with anyone. Hadn’t conceived of being able to stand with her naked body and all its flaws in front of a man and feel…good. But she loved the way he looked at her body, like he needed her more than he needed air, or food, or water. Like nothing on Earth could keep him from her.

A beat.

Then Declan chucked his phone aside, his hand already working his belt. “Get on the bed. Legs spread, eyes closed,” he said, pulling his shirt over his head.

A small shiver ran through her, like a preview. A priming current. She did as she was told, laying back with her legs spread, knees bent, knowing he was watching her. She heard his intake of breath and felt herself get even wetter, knowing he could see that, too. Then the rustle of his jeans, the crinkle of a condom wrapper.

His weight on the bed.

His thighs, warm and hard, underneath her own.

She gripped the bedspread with her fingers and licked her lips. She didn’t know what he would do, where he would touch her, whether it would be pleasure or pain. She was just his. Whatever he wanted.

She sighed, repeating that to herself.

Then, without warning, he flipped her over, half on her stomach, half on her side. Her eyes flew open while he lifted her leg and plunged into her. She groaned with the intrusion as he leaned over her, heavy and thick and stretching her in entirely new ways, and said, “Mine.”

“Yes,” she said, and she felt his teeth on her neck as he thrust into her, harder than before, forcing a keening wail out of her.

“Look at me,” he said as his hand found her breasts and his dick filled her, again and again. Molly still hadn’t caught up with his onslaught, and she was panting, grabbing at the sheets, her body humming, but she obeyed. She looked over her shoulder at him and he kissed her, lifting her leg higher, going deeper.

“Say it,” he growled, biting her lip.

“Oh God!” she moaned as he drove into her without stopping. “Yours, Declan! Yours!”

“Come,” he ordered, and she did, gratefully, thrashing underneath him while he held her down, his teeth on her shoulder, his cock twitching inside her. When she finally stopped the bed was destroyed, pillows everywhere, her limbs tied up in sheets, covered in sweat.

“What the hell was that?” she murmured.

He didn’t answer. Just rolled onto his back, taking her with him so he could hold her close to his chest. Molly felt like a ragdoll, limp and well worn, and was happy just to have a place to rest where she could hear his heart beat out its own rhythm.

She lay there like that until she felt her own heart come down. Until she could hold her hand up above the hair on Declan’s chest and keep it from shaking, for the most part.

Maybe it was the sex. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation. Maybe it was just old-fashioned insanity that made her bring it up.

“Declan…” she said, and trailed off. Was she really going to ask?

“What is it?” he asked.

What she wanted to say was, ‘I love you, too. I am hopelessly, hopelessly in love with you, and I’m terrified.’ But she couldn’t. Declan was strong enough to come out and say it, not even needing her to say it back, because he was…Declan. He knew he’d carry on, keep on being the strong, dominant man he always was. Molly wasn’t sure of herself like that.

She couldn’t say it, but she knew what she wanted. She wanted all of him. She wanted to be as close to him as she could.

“Why did you get a vasectomy?” she asked.

Declan rolled her fully on top of him where she could rest her chin on her hands and put his hands behind his head. He narrowed his eyes, thinking.

“You aren’t going to tell me?” she asked.

“I’m going to tell you,” he said. “But I think you already know the answer.”

Molly tried to hide her smile, but couldn’t. She did like being right, even when gloating was completely inappropriate. Even worse, she could feel his cock already getting bigger beneath her, pressing into her belly.

“Maybe,” she allowed. “But I shouldn’t feel like this while I ask you about it.”

“Feel like what?”

She swallowed. “Feel like I want you.”

“You always want me,” he said, steadily. “Just like I always want you.”

This was undeniably true.

“Tell me why you think I did it,” he demanded.

Molly suddenly felt tears prick at her eyes. She’d cried more in the weeks she’d known Declan than in the previous four years, and still she wanted to be around this man as much as possible. Most of that had been good tears, anyway. Cathartic tears. This time she was crying for the boy Declan had been. “I think it was because you didn’t have a very happy childhood,” she said softly.

“Yup,” he agreed. “And I’m not going to risk doing that to a kid.”

“Not ever?” she asked.

He smiled slowly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “I never say never. Maybe if I start believing in happy endings,” he said.