Save Me (13 page)

Chapter T
wenty-Five

Tegan

My head was banging and it wasn’t even from alcohol. Crying until I fell asleep for the entire night really made me feel like shit and not just physically.

It was only bloody
six in the morning. Why the hell was that the time my body decided to wake now? Lucas was asleep beside me. After he found me crying my heart out on the music room floor he carried me up to bed. I guess Mum relaxed the no-boyfriends-in-your-room-overnight rule this time.

I
carefully got out of bed, not wanting to wake him and have to convince him I was okay just yet, and went downstairs and curled up on the sofa. Me and Dad always got up early – not six early, granted – and would either watch rubbish morning TV or play the piano quietly.

I took a few deep breaths
.
Keep it together.
There was no way I wanted to feel the way I did last night. I didn’t know how Mum and Ava allowed themselves to go through that every single day. I was done.

Grabbing
my phone, I sent Kai a text. I still needed to talk to him about Lucas and hanging out with him would take my mind off everything.

‘
What time tonight?’ I text.

His reply took a couple minutes
. ‘6. What the fuck time are you texting me at!’

Oops. It was early. ‘Sorry. Couldn’t sleep.’

‘You’re on drink duty for that. Lucas coming?’

‘No he’s going home today
.’

‘Cool
, I’ll pick you up at 7.’

It started at eight. Unless he was really serious about me being on drink duty and I’d be helping set everything up. Also, Lucas leaving wasn’t ‘cool’.

I felt slightly better that I was doing something, getting out of the house, tonight. I felt like I’d been run over. I was emotionally drained and needed to not think. Vodka would also help.

But how did
I tell Lucas? He wouldn’t be happy about it. Not that he had a right to tell me what to do and I didn’t have to feel like I should obey him, but I didn’t want to piss him off or make him feel insecure.

“Morning, honey,” Mum said and sat beside me.

I tried so hard to smile but I just didn’t have the energy. “Morning.”

“How’re you feeling today?”

“I’m alright.”

Lie, lie, lie.

“Do you want a coffee? I know I could do with one.”

“Please, Mum.”

It was another hour before anyone else got up and Mum started making bacon sandwiches for breakfast. Me and Lucas spent the rest of the time in my room, not fooling around, until he had to leave.

“What are you doing on Saturday?”
he asked as he finished packing his bag.

“
Nothing. Why?”

“I’m racing again
. You want to come watch?”

I smiled half-heartedly.
“Yeah, I’ll come, but I can’t guarantee I’ll be watching.”

He chuckled
and winked. “I’m not going to get hurt.”

“You better not. I kinda like you.”

“You only kinda like me?”

“
Yes, only a bit.”

“Thanks,” he replied sarcastically
. I giggled, fell forwards into his arms and kissed him. He slipped his tongue in my mouth, making my body heat up. I was so ready for a repeat of yesterday.

His head wasn’t in the gutter with mine as he pulled back and picked up his bag.
“I’m gonna miss you, babe.”

“Me
, too,” I replied. I followed behind, feeling deflated that he was leaving. At least I had tonight to look forward to.

Jake bundled their bags into the boot and Grace helped her dad into the car, even though he was fully capable of doing it himself. I got
that they needed to make sure he was okay, though.

I flopped my head forwards on
Lucas’s chest and he kissed my hair. “I’ll be back Friday night to take you out and I’ll see you again on Saturday,” he said.

“Where are we going on Friday?”

“Don’t start that again.”

I pouted.

“Hey, I…” Taking a deep breath, he said, “I know this has all been fast and we’re probably one of the most unlikely couples but… I… I love you, Tegan.”

I blinked in surprise.
He what? My first thought was
why?
What was there about me that he could possibly love? I didn’t want to love again but there was something about him, something that made me feel like I was worth something. But it also made me question his sanity at the same time.

If Lucas could love me then surely I wasn’t that evil, or there was something redeemable in me. He made m
y heart ache in a good way for the first time since my dad died. If he was willing to put everything into us then so was I. “I love you, too.”

Grinning from ear to ear he kissed me.

“God, I am so glad you said it back. That was pretty terrifying.”

“Of course I did,” I replied.

“Lucas, come on,” Jake yelled from Luke’s car. Sighing, he gave me another kiss and walked away mouthing
I love you
.

“You okay
, Tegan?” Ava asked as she slung her arm over my shoulder as they drove off out of sight.

“Yeah
, I’m good.” At least I think I was. That moment with Lucas was so surreal and I wasn’t completely sure I believed him. “I need to get ready for tonight.”

Mum and Ava looked at each other worried
ly, then turned back to me. “You’re going out tonight?” Mum asked quietly.

I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, but don’t worry, it’s not like before. I just want to have fun with my friends. The past couple days have been kinda hard,” I replied while looking at the floor, willing myself to keep it together. I was tired of crying so much and I’d only done it for a day.

“Okay,” she replied. There was not one part of her that was okay with it but she still didn’t say a word.

At half six, Sophie came over so we could do our make-up together and have some pre-party drinks. She frowned into the mirror, her auburn eyebrows knitting together. “It’s too revealing, isn’t it?” she asked, turning her body from side to side and staring at her chest.

“No, Soph, you look good.” There was definite cleavage but it didn’t look bad.

She turned around and wolf whistled. “Very hot, Tegan! You on the pull tonight?”

I slapped her
arm. “No, I have a boyfriend, remember?”

“He doesn’t have to know.”

“Stop being a ho, I’m not going to cheat on him.”

She rolled her
grey eyes. “Monogamy is overrated.” It had only been overrated since her ex boyfriend cheated on her. She was thirteen at the time and he kissed the new kid. Since then Sophie had a love/hate relationship with guys. One that saw her screwing whoever she wanted and telling them to do one after. Now she had a bit of a name for herself but she wasn’t the whore people thought she was, people rarely were as bad as others judged them to be.

Kai called at seven t
o say he was just down the road. Understandably, he didn’t want to come knock on the door through fear of my mother going psycho again. I took one last shot of vodka, winced as it burned its way down, and headed out to Kai’s car.

“Evening
,” Kai said with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Good evening
, gorgeous,” Sophie purred. Well, she waited three seconds. New record, ladies and gentlemen.

Kai grinned at her but I could feel his resistance. He’d mentioned in passing that he wasn’t into easy women anymore. Fuck knows why he went for me then, I didn’t exactly make it difficult when we met. Whatever his reasons, slow couple of months maybe,
I was glad. I liked having his friendship.

I sat back against the passenger seat and felt relaxed, properly relaxed, for the first time in days. There were no expectations with Kai and he didn’t try to dig deep to find out what was wrong and fix me. I appreciated that more than I could ever express.

Kai pulled into his drive and we went inside. “What do you need us to do?” I asked.

Sophie frowned. “Us?”

“Yes, you’re helping, too!”

“Sophie, you can move the end table into the corner to make room for the speaker. Freddie’ll be here in a minute so watch out for him.”

“Is Freddie hot?”

Kai blinked, his dark lashes fanned out over his eyes. “
Well, I don’t think so…”

“Yes, he is,” I said, even though I had no idea who he was. We’d be here forever if I didn’t just tell her what she wanted to hear.

“Perfect.” She clapped her hands and put her bag down, ready to get to work.

“You can help me with drinks,” Kai said, leading us through to the kitchen.

“Can I talk to you about something?” I asked once Sophie was distracted, watching out of the window for her ‘hot’ man.

He looked over his shoulder as he pulled bottles and bottles of alcohol out of the cupboard. “Sure.”

“It’s about what you said to Lucas at the pub.”

He stilled and
then stood up. “Yeah, look, I’m sorry.”

“Why did you say it?”

He ran his hand through his jet-black hair. “I don’t know. He was being cocky and then I was a dick. Men do that shit, right?”

Being cocky meant he’d told Kai that
we were together and possibly told him to back off. I wanted to ask what Lucas had done but I didn’t want to drag it out and make it into a big thing, as long as it was done and I was okay with both of them I was happy.

“That’s all it was? Nothing else to it?”

“I know the score between us if that’s what you’re asking. He mouthed off and so did I. Don’t worry, it’s done.”

“Good
, because I really want you in my life.”

“Back at
cha, princess. Now, want a shot before the party wankers drink my house dry?”

Laughing, I threw my bag
to the side and nodded.

About an hour later,
the party was in full swing and I’d just received a text from Lucas. ‘I’m bored as hell! What you doing? I miss you.’

He didn’t know I was here. I’d chickened out earlier and didn’t mention anything. But I couldn’t lie to him now so I replied, ‘I’m at Kai’s party with Sophie. Miss you too.’

The
with Sophie
part was incredibly important. Not that it should be, he hung out with friends of the opposite sex. I mean, as far as I knew he’d never slept with any of them but that didn’t matter, the physical part of my relationship with Kai was over.

‘
Okay, I’ll leave you to it. Have fun & I’ll call you later.’

I wasn’t entirely sure how to take that so I decided to take it at face value and believe that he was okay and genuinely wanted me to have fun. He said he trusted me, I’d not given him a reason not to and I wasn’t going to either.

“You okay?” Kai asked as he sat down and handed me a beer.

“Thanks. Yeah
, I’m good.”

“Sophie’s looking for you.”

I groaned. “Any idea what she wants?”

His big, schoolboy grin told me he did but he shook his head anyway. Groaning again, I went to find her. It didn’t take long, she was on the sofa, pouting.

“What’s up?” I asked, flopping down next to her.

“What do you think of him?” she asked, pointing to a guy talking to a girl by the window.

“He’s nice.”
But he’s already talking to a girl.

She scrunched her nose up
and proceeded to quiz me on the
hotness
of every other male in the room. “Yeah, he’s nice but nowhere near as hot as Lucas or Kai.”

“Hey
, hands off.” I warned, laughing. She just said it to wind me up anyway, I shouldn’t have taken the bait.

Sh
e raised her eyebrows. “Which one?”

“Lucas,” I replied
, rolling my eyes.

“
Seriously! Kai is unbelievably gorgeous. If I were you I
so
would.”

“You’re not me and I already have. I’
m happy with Lucas, thank you.”

“Well
, if you’re happy with Lucas then I’ll go see Kai.”

I gestured my hand in Kai’s direction
and she squealed, kissed me on the cheek, and ran off. Good luck, Kai. I sort of wanted to go and help him but he hadn’t warned me I’d be helping Sophie choose tonight’s lay so he could fucking fend for himself.

I ended up doing a line of vodka shots with Holly
in the kitchen. After the sixth one I was stumbling around and my head was swimming. It wasn’t doing much for the persistent headache but I didn’t care.