Save Me (21 page)

I hadn't even realized I was holding my breath again until he spoke. Who needs oxygen anyway? Will made sure I was steady enough to stand before bring both hands up to cup my face.

"Do you still feel single?"

Honestly, at that point I would have said anything he wanted just to get his mouth back to mine. Not that it wasn't true. I wanted to believe that all this meant what I wanted it to mean, that Will and I were more than friends. But what did I know? I had been asked out on one date. A date that was never able to happen because zombies took over the world.

I shook my head.

"Good, because you aren't."

~Chapter Nineteen~

The rest of the evening was spent with everyone in the living room talking and laughing like a group of old friends just having a good time. It was strange at first, having everyone get along so well, and honestly, I was surprised they seemed to forgive me so easily for taking off and putting them all at risk. Even Janet held her sarcastic remarks and disgusted looks to a minimum. My guess was it was due to it being my birthday, but part of me still figured that wouldn't make a bit of difference to Janet. Will must have talked to her and told her to behave. Whatever the reason, I was glad to have everyone getting along. Moreover, not having them all mad at me was definitely a positive.

I was the first one to give in and admit it was time to crash, even though Dan and Janet had been yawning for nearly an hour. I prepared myself for the usual sleeping arrangements, reminding myself that I was with Will now and he and Janet were just friends, even if he slept in the same bed with her draped across him. As with so many things lately though, I was wrong. Will was already in my room when I finished brushing my teeth. He was sprawled out on my bed, patting the space next to him for me to join. I stood in the doorway, a little surprised to see him there. Okay, I was a lot surprised, and nervous. Images of our earlier earth-shattering kiss sprung into my mind. I felt my heart thumping in my chest just at the memory. I had slept in the same bed with Will before but things were different now. I didn't know exactly what would be expected of me now. I mean, we were two consenting adults, who obviously had some intense chemistry, and were now about to sleep in the same bed together.

"Andi, if you don't want me to sleep in here..." Will sat up, sensing my apprehension.

"No, no. I do." I forced my feet to step into the room and close the door behind me.

Maybe I should have left it open.

"Then what's wrong?" He looked confused.

"Nothing. I just... I wasn't expecting you to be here. That's all."

I pulled the hair tie off my wrist and began twisting my hair into a braid. It was something I used to do before bed all the time, but since I met Will I only remembered occasionally. I sat down on the bed next to him, my heart still beating a little too hard. Will put his hand on my shoulder and I'm sure he could feel me tighten up.

"Andi, relax," Will's voice was soft, soothing.

He took my chin into his hand and nudged my face to the side to look at him. His green eyes sparkled in the dim light and his lips were turned up slightly into a small smile. He kissed my forehead and climbed over me, and situated himself into the bottom bunk bed.

"Will, you don't have to go," I said, feeling guilty about I don't even know what.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, and we both know, you were. So I can sleep here."

"I'm sorry, no it's fine."

I felt bad making him think I didn't want him there with me. The truth was, so many times I had wanted nothing more than to crawl up next to his warm body and sleep flush against him. Only, I wanted to sleep with him, as in rest, unconscious, dreaming. Anything more and I didn't know if I was ready. After the way he kissed me earlier though, I was afraid that he had more on his mind than sleep.

Will switched off the lantern without another word, leaving me sitting on the bed in the dark. Part of me wanted to tell him to come back and explain why I sort of freaked out a little. I was sure Will knew I was new at this stuff so I think he would understand. It would probably be a good idea to have a talk with him so he knew I wasn't ready for things to go past kissing just yet. That was the mature thing to do. Janet would either be proud, or she would think I was being immature even for thinking like this. Yeah, I bet she would go with the latter.

"Andi?" Will whispered, jolting me from my neurotic thoughts.

"Yes, Will?"

"I was only gonna sleep there. You know that, right?"

"Of course," I lied.

At least I can stop worrying about that, for tonight.

I slept better than I had in awhile. I was nineteen now. I had my first real relationship, unless Mike Johnson in the seventh grade counted. All we ever did was hold hands in the hallway between classes. That was until two weeks later he decided he wanted to hold hands with Becky Mills, not that I cared. I only agreed to go out with him because Amy pressured me into it. I guess I was late starting with my interest in boys. The only guy I ever really fell for before was Zach and that didn't turn out so well. I was trying to stay positive though. I mean, sure I was living in a zombie apocalypse, and all my friends and family were now dead, but I had to move on. I met new friends. Plus, there was Will. I was going to at least try to have a little optimism going forward. If only I could lose that little voice in the back of my mind telling me to stop being stupid because everything would still turn to shit sooner or later.

Since I was the first one awake, I figured I'd make breakfast for everyone. I did owe them big time. Not only for what they went through looking for me, but for giving me the best birthday I've had in a long time. Much better than I expected or deserved. There wasn't a lot to choose from as far as breakfast was concerned. There was still quite a bit of dry oatmeal and some powdered egg junk. We ran out of cereal ages ago. There was probably a few stale protein bars lying around but those were best saved for out on the road. This guy I met once, Al, used to smoke his own bacon from fresh pigs that he raised himself. He had a farm and let the group I was with at the time stay with him for awhile. It smelled incredible but I never could bring myself to eat any after seeing their cute little faces every day for weeks.

After a bit of searching, I found Mom's old stash of dehydrated blueberries. Score! I couldn't do much about the same old oatmeal but at least I could dress it up a bit. I soaked the berries to plump them back up while I got the oatmeal ready. When everything was finished, I scooped the hot mush into four bowls, added the berries, sprinkled on some cinnamon and added a dash of sugar. It looked a lot better than I expected.

I knocked on each of the bedroom doors to alert them that food was ready. Janet was the first one out, with her bleached blonde hair, spiked up in its usual messy-perfect manner, typical military fatigues and black boots, laced up and ready to go. The sight of her so put together made me wonder if I was actually the first one to get up after all. I wondered what Janet had been like before the outbreak. Did she dress like a normal twenty-something, relaxed and casual? I knew she had a husband and young son. I had trouble imagining her with a baby in her lap reading nursery rhymes or making silly faces. In another world, maybe Janet would have been like a big sister to me like she was to Will or Dan. Obviously, she must have some redeeming qualities for the guys to like her so much.

"Are those blueberries?" Janet asked poking around in the bowl.

Oh shit, I hope she likes them and isn't allergic or something.

"Yeah. Is that okay?"

I was still trying to be on my best behavior with Janet, not only for Will's sake, but for myself as well. I really didn't want to keep fighting with her.

"Yeah, that's amazing. Thanks."

Okay, something I actually did right. That was a first.

Dan made his way out next, padding bare footed down the hall, into the kitchen. He was dressed only in his jeans, which hung deliciously low on his hips. His hair was a mess but on Dan, it only made you want to lose your hands in it. I don't even know how Janet could manage to see him walk in a room like this and not catch herself drooling. I was glad Will came in after Dan so he didn't see my face. As much as I cared about Will, it was impossible not to notice how completely hot Dan was, especially when he was only half dressed.

By the time Will made it to breakfast, Janet was already finished and washing her bowl.

"Good morning beautiful," Will purred in my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, causing poor Janet to drop her bowl in the sink.

That was so not how he usually said good morning. Even Dan looked up, eyebrows raised, at the blatant show of affection. By the way they eyed us both, I was sure they figured Will's behavior was due to getting lucky last night.

"Yeah so, if you two love birds can tear yourselves off of one another, I was thinking we should give some thought to a two-day scout. With the four of us, we can go further and spend a night. This way we can maybe find some supplies that haven't already been picked over. This area has been pretty well cleared out."

Dan nodded at Janet, "I'm in."

Will looked to me, as if asking what I thought, or more like if I thought I was ready for this. I think he forgets that I wasn't hiding here in this basement for the last year. I have been on scouts before.

"Sounds good," I finally answered, both for Will's sake and because Janet was starting to get impatient.

"Great."

Janet pulled out an old worn map of this section of the state and went over where she thought we should go. I wasn't really paying attention to her. I didn't care where we went honestly. The guys were going to listen to her either way and I would follow along with whatever they said because I just didn't care. Sure, we needed some new areas for scouting but unless we went closer to a city, we were unlikely to find much more than what was around here. Probably one of the reasons I managed to stay alive this long was because I stayed away from the cities. Hordes were a major problem in those areas and anything I could do to avoid a horde, you can be damn well sure I was gonna do.

After they had a plan, and the guys went to get ready, Janet pulled me aside to talk.

"Look, if you're not sure you can handle this, you can stay behind. We can do this without you."

She wasn't being mean this time. She was serious, almost concerned.

"It's fine. I've been scouting before. I can handle it."

"I'm not trying to be a bitch or anything Andi, it's just that I don't want to bring you if we are going to have to worry about taking care of you."

"No one needs to take care of me Janet," I clenched my teeth together to keep from saying anything I would surely regret."I managed just fine on my own before I met Will."

She shrugged her shoulders and flashed me a 'whatever' look, leaving me standing there. I took a few deep breaths and reminded myself I was determined to stay positive and make things different from now on.

We spent all day walking, only stopping once for a short break. If it were up to Janet, we wouldn't have even had that. Will insisted we stop, probably because he could tell I really needed it. I wasn't about to be the weakest link and ask for it, but I was damn grateful to have it. Janet and Will stayed a few paces ahead again, leaving Dan and I enough behind them to have some quiet conversation to kill the monotony. Without that, I think I would have lost my mind. Even when I was on my own, I couldn't walk in silence. I would either sing, or talk to myself. I just couldn't take the silence. Janet turned around every so often to give Dan a dirty look for the chatter, but this time, she managed not to direct her irritation at me. She really was trying harder than I ever would have given her credit for. I wonder what Will said to her to bring about such a change in her. I was definitely going to have to ask him about that!

We had a relatively uneventful day. We ran into about fifteen flesh eaters in total, but they were spread out so we had no trouble taking them out. Janet tried her psycho knife through the eye at close range, tactic again but after seeing my reaction, Dan started taking them out with the crossbow as soon as he noticed them.

"Why does she do that?" I asked Dan quietly, not wanting Janet to know we were talking about her.

Dan looked away with a sad frown on his perfect mouth.

"We all deal with the shit that's happened in our own way, ya know?"

I guess I did know.

"I get that, but she is so crazy about being safe and doing everything a certain way, but then she does something so stupid."

"Yeah, it freaked me out too at first. I just figure, I'm not gonna judge her. She has to find her own way. Will and I always have her covered though. There's little real danger with only one or two of the bastards."

"She didn't do that with the horde, did she?"

Visions of Janet surrounded by undead, trying to take them all out with a hunting knife, flashed through my head.

"We all used whatever we could, guns, bows, knives, whatever. I'm glad you weren't there for that."

"Yeah, poor little Andi. Can't take care of herself."

"Sweetheart, that's not what I meant. I just would have been distracted, worrying about you and you know Will would have too. I understand why you left. I might have done the same thing, if I were in your position."