Save Me From the Dark (7 page)

“Best birthday ever,” I breathe.

AJ chuckles and kisses the top of my head, hugging me against him as he sighs. Before long I start to drift off to sleep. I swear I hear Ace speak again, but I am already off to the best sleep I’ve ever had.

Waking the next morning, I feel different. Warm. Safe. Those are not two feelings I normally have. Then what happened last night comes rolling back to me. The heat in my cheeks is hot enough to feel through the blankets. I can smell something delicious wafting into the room, but I’m not sure I can bring myself to face him, not yet.

When my stomach growls, I force myself up and pull on my clothes before walking toward the door. Just as I open the door a crack, I can hear him talking.

“She’s still sleeping.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she doesn’t get much,” says the familiar voice of Gary. “How’d things go last night?”

“Good. I put her in my bed and slept on the couch. She woke up in the middle of the night with a nightmare then couldn’t fall back asleep so we talked. I think she might be okay with everything now…with me…I hope.”

“Well, she stayed even after she woke up, that has to count for something I’d think.”

Not wanting to stay in the room any longer than I already have, I walk out saying, “What smells so good? Oh, morning Gary,” I say dropping my gaze to the floor.

“Good morning Bella,” Gary says warmly.

AJ walks over to me, wrapping his arms around me. “How’d you sleep?” He kisses me softly.

“Better than I thought I could,” I reply shyly.

“Me too,” he whispers. “I’ve made breakfast. You hungry?”

“Oddly yes. I’m never hungry.” I say as I take a seat at the table with Gary.

“You don’t normally eat breakfast?” Gary asks.

Dropping my head to look at my hands that have suddenly become very interesting, I try to avoid the question.

“What did you make?” I ask, still not looking away from my hands in my lap.

“A little bit of everything. I wasn’t sure what you’d eat. What do you normally eat for breakfast?”

Nothing, but I didn’t want to tell them that. It seems that the more I try to avoid the question the more the question is asked. However, I’m very good at avoiding things and lying because, well, that’s what I have to do on a daily basis.

“There’s not a lot that I don’t eat.” I’m smiling inside at my vague, but appropriate answer.

“I’m personally a bacon and eggs kind of man, but will pretty much devour the kitchen sink if put in front of me. What are your favorites?” Gary asks.

It is as if he knows I am avoiding the question. Hell, maybe he does. When I raise my head and see that they are both looking at me, anger flares. Slamming my hands down on the table, I scream.

“Fine! You want to know what I eat for breakfast? Nothing. I get nothing for breakfast. I only have lunch at school because I secretly write papers for kids at school and they pay me for it. They don’t know it’s me or they probably wouldn’t do it anymore. It may be wrong, but at least school days, I have lunch. For supper, I get whatever instant box food that doesn’t take cooking that is thrown in my bedroom door before it’s shut and locked again. To drink…water, period. I guess while we are traveling down the road I don’t want to talk about but you insist on pushing me, I’ll tell you the rest!”

Taking a deep breath, I try to hurry through my life story in a nutshell.

“My mom died when I was eight during a break in gone bad. Since then my father has beat the living shit out of me and locked me in my room. I do not get to leave other than to go to school. He buys me nothing. I have to buy everything on my own; shampoo, soap, clothes, school supplies, everything. When I’m not at home having the life beat out of me, I go to school to deal with the same things. This lump here,” I point to the barely visible lump on my forehead, “my locker door slammed into my head. This bruise here,” I hold up my hand where it is still bruised, but starting to fade, “my hand shut in my locker. The lump on the back of my head that you felt yesterday, is a combination from my father and the kids at school.” I lift my shirt showing them the big bruise on my stomach.

“This is from the kids at school. I was kicked after they knocked my books out of my hands and I bent to pick them up. These bruises here,” I turn so they can see my back, “they’re from my father hitting me with a bat because of the pac-” I stop myself before I went any further. “This here,” I move my hair back from my face, “is a combination from my father’s fists and my desk. Happy? You know everything. Every embarrassing fucking detail. You now know how worthless I am and why you shouldn’t be interested in me. All the reasons you should let me walk out the fucking door and never look back. I’m messed up, skittish, lonely, weak, and hopeless. Now you know the truth.” I sigh.

“I need some air,” I say after a moment of awkward silence.

Hurrying past both of them and out the door before they can stop me, my thoughts are getting the best of me. Tears sting the backs of my eyes, begging to be set free to run down my cheeks. My feet want to run, but I keep myself from running. There are a few people milling about and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself.

AJ grabs my hand. I know it is him by the electric like jolt that shoots through me at the contact. He pulls me back against him where he wraps me in his arms.

“Don’t be angry with me. I had no idea he isn’t even feeding you. I was just trying to learn more about you. Okay and maybe understand what you are facing. Come back and talk to me while we eat. Please.” He kisses my neck. “Please.”

After an internal argument of what to do, I nod my head. He keeps his arm around my waist as we walk back to his trailer. Keeping my head down and my hands clamped together in front of me, I didn’t say a word, but neither does he. AJ holds the door open for me. I walk in and go right to the table sitting on the opposite side of Gary, still keeping my head down.

“How do you like your eggs?” AJ asks.

“I don’t know,” I say softly.

“I’ll just make scrambled then. Do you like…” he trails off when I snap my head up at him and glare.

“I don’t know what I like. I just fucking told you I haven’t had any of that kind of stuff since I was eight damn years old. Just give me a little bit of everything, okay?” I snap.

He nods his head sadly as he frowns. He turns and goes to the stove. Guilt hits me right in the center of my stomach. Tears pool in my eyes.
Every time I open my mouth I hurt him. I should have just left.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t know. When you ask such basic questions it makes me feel stupid.”

“Hey,” AJ says softly kneeling in front of me. “Don’t even worry about apologizing. However, let me apologize for not understanding and for causing some of your problems. When I sent that package to you, I thought I was helping you. I had no idea that I’d be making them worse,” he says sadly.

“I was mad at first because I missed a whole week of school because of it, but when I saw what it was… I was thankful for you and they did come in handy,” I smirk.

He stands and goes back to the stove and finishes up breakfast as we continue to talk about my schooling and my writing. It’s safe topics. This I can handle and immediately we start to fall into the comfortable moments I had with him while we were talking online or the phone, when I’m able to forget who I am and just relax.

A plate is set in front of me. On it there’s eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuit, fried potatoes. My stomach growls loudly. Picking up my fork, I take a taste of the eggs. I moan at the taste of it. I try everything before shoveling it all in my mouth as if someone was going to take the plate from me before I can finish it all.

Sitting there, I can hear them still eating. The silence in the room is deafening. After a few moments, I start feeling funny. My stomach starts to cramp. Shifting in the seat, the pain starts to grow. A sharp pain twists in my stomach causing me to hold my stomach and bend over groaning.

“Baby? Are you okay?”

“I’m not feeling very good,” I groan. “Where’s,” I pause, gagging. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“The door right before the bedroom.”

He is still talking as I am running in that direction. Just barely making it to the toilet, I begin to lose the first decent meal I’ve had in a very long time. My hair is gently pulled away from my face, as I continue to empty my stomach contents in the toilet.

Ace rubs my back in calming circles as he whispers soothingly to me. By the time I am finished, I sag to the side of the toilet. Ace picks me up and carries me into the bedroom. He sets me gently at the end to the bed, kneels down to remove my shoes.

“I’m going to undress you to put you in my shirt so you can lay down, okay?”

I nod my head weakly, teetering to keep balance. He slides my jeans down my legs, and then lifts my shirt over my head. It isn’t until I hear his low moan that I remember I’m not wearing a bra. Quickly, I cross my arms over my chest, blushing even in my sick state.

“Sorry,” he mumbles then slips his shirt over my head.

Carrying me to the top of the bed, laying me back down, he pulls the covers over me. Kissing my forehead lightly, he whispers, “I’ll be right back, okay?”

I think I nod. I’m not sure because I soon fall asleep.

Ace

Walking back out into the kitchen, I see Gary pacing back and forth. He’s probably feeling the same way I am with knowing now exactly what she’s going through. My heart twists knowing someone is touching my Bella like that. Even more knowing it is a man that should be protecting her.

“She’s asleep,” I force through the lump in my throat.

“How the fuck can a father do that kind of shit? Why the hell doesn’t the school do anything about any of it?”

“I don’t know,” and I didn’t.

“Let me get alone with that man…” Gary swears darkly.

“That makes two of us,” I growl.

“The damage that man has done to her…” he whispers.

“I’m surprised she’s still here. I mean knowing now what she’s going through I’m surprised she showed up at all. I can only imagine what she’s going to go through when she goes back home. I’m still all for holding her against her will.”

“I may be joining you there,” he sighs as he sits down.

In all the years that I’ve known Gary, he has never been this worked up before. It is both scary and heartwarming. To know that he cares about Bella’s safety and well-being as much as I do is refreshing. There is no way I am letting her leave. Not knowing what she’s going to go back to.

“What am I going to do? She’s…I love her. I can’t let her go back to that.”

“I don’t know son. I just don’t know. You could try to convince her to stay with you. If you’re ready for that,” he smirks at me.

“What I’m realizing is that if it’s anything to do with Bella, I’m all for it.”

“I could tell she was different from the moment you really started talking. You were happier. Happier than I’ve ever seen you.  But this is not going to be an easy task. She’s scared. Trust won’t be easy for her and it shouldn’t. The very person that should have walked with her has been pushing her down. Tread lightly, pick your battles, and don’t push her.”

“I won’t, but what do I do if she doesn’t want to stay?”

This is the question that scares me. No matter how much I love her, I can’t make her mind up for her. I’d be no better than him if I did. However, that didn’t mean that letting her go was going to be easy. Actually the more I sit here the more I know it was going to be downright impossible.

“She’s a person, not property, you can’t make her do something she doesn’t want to. But I have to ask, what makes letting her go so hard? The part where she goes back to that violent situation or just letting her go period?” He gives me his knowing smile and I just want to smack him.

Just as I’m about to answer, Bella starts calling my name. “I’m going to go get some things for her, go tend to your girl. We’ll finish our talk later.”

Walking back to her, she’s curled in a ball and she’s moaning.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I ask, kneeling next to the bed.

“I don’t feel well,” she moans.

“Well, we know you aren’t pregnant, so this will pass soon.” I try to joke.

“Ha ha ha, you’re so,” she groans. “I never get sick.”

“Well, lucky for you, I’m right here for you. I’m not going anywhere.” I kiss her forehead. “You’re a little warm, baby.” I scoot on the bed and pull her into me. “I don’t like seeing you not feeling well.”

“Hmm, I feel a lot better now,” she says groggily.

“Me too. God, how I longed for this moment, to hold you in my arms,” I sigh. “It feels better than I thought it would.”

Pressing light kisses to the top of her head, I hold her tighter. Now that I had her in my arms, I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t want this feeling to go away. In my heart of hearts, I believe she’s the one for me. My challenge now is getting Bella to not only realize it, but accept it too.

A soft knock sounds on the door. After a quiet come in, Gary walks in with some meds in hand.

“This should help her feel better.”

“Bella? Baby?” I ask lifting her gently.

“Hmmm,” she moans.

“We’ve got some meds for you. Wake up so you can take them.”

She sits up sleepily, but thankfully manages to take the medicine that Gary brought. Then she lays back down curling into me. I hold her tightly to me.

Looking up at Gary, “It’s letting her go period,” I whisper.

“Then don’t,” he smiles softly. “I’ll be back in a few hours to check on her. Hopefully when she wakes up, she’ll feel better.”

“I hope so too.”

I lay there stroking her hair and humming ‘
Save Me Moon
’ to her while she sleeps.