Saved By The Doctor (BWWM Romance) (10 page)

He came up behind her, wrapping his hands around her waist and drawing her ever closer to him. “I can't believe you say such things,” he murmured as he planted a kiss on her neck.

Jackie bit her lip. That small touch was enough to send her into a sexual frenzy. She already wanted him and he hadn't even cooked the steaks he brought for the two of them yet. “Well, believe it because it's already happened,” she replied as he continued to lay kisses down the length of her taut neck.

She sucked in a deep breath. “That feels so good,” she murmured. Beyond that, she could think of nothing else. A long sigh slipped out of her mouth as he sucked on her, small bruises forming on her olive skin. His hands began to explore her torso, his right hand finding its way to her chest where it hovered, her nipple slipping in between his fingers.

She bit her lip, her hands reaching behind her for something to hold on to. She settled for his legs where she clutched to the meat on his thighs, wanting nothing more than to completely consume him. As he rocked himself against her, pressing his body into hers, she could feel his hard bulge, pressing through his pants and begging to be let free. He slipped his hands under her shirt, following the waves of her body until he got to the hard under-wire of her bra, jabbing into her ribs, just before he squeezed her there, a sigh slipping from between her lips as if he had set it free himself.  “Oh how glorious it is to be alone with you like this,” he whispered, his breath brushing over the hot skin on her cheek. He kissed her there, his lips lifting her cheek as his tongue rubbed against it. He licked her like she was his favorite piece of meat.

“Oh how beautiful you are when you talk like that,” Jackie replied as she let go of him, falling over towards the couch. She threw her hands in front of her to catch her fall.

Allan grunted at that, but did not hesitate. He slipped his hands up her skirt and ripped her panties down. They climbed down her legs, hanging around her ankles like cotton seaweed. She gasped as Allan's hand found its way up her thighs and inside of her. He ripped it in and out, grabbing her by her womanhood and taking her pleasure completely into his own hands.

Jackie clutched at the couch, her nails leaving runs in the fabric. “Oh my God,” she breathed as she felt his lips on her skin. He licked her and kissed her and sucked her until she could do nothing but curl her toes in ecstasy. Sounds escaped from her lips that she didn't even knew she could make. But, in the next moment, she could feel the bare skin of his legs against hers... and something went really wrong.

Her jaw swung open, pressing past the natural confines. Her diaphragm contracted so hard she thought her heart would press right out of her over extended mouth then released, sucking at all of the air in the room, but bringing in none of it. Allan's member was slapping against her, hard and taut as a tight rope and deadly as a sword, demanding more from her than she was willing to give.

She could no longer breathe... or see as her vision had grown blurry and had a red tint to it. She didn't know how to stop it; couldn't even bring herself to speak. Her more logical self kept telling her that she was safe; that this touch was Allan's and Allan's alone; that it was the touch of a man that loved her; that would sooner kill himself than cause her any kind of harm.

So why did she feel like she was being burnt with dry ice?

Her answer came before she was ready for it. Like magic, a splitting headache paralyzed her. She squeezed her eyes shut to try to get rid of it, but when she opened them again, she was not in her living room, holding on to the couch for support, but pressed against a brick wall in a dark alley way. She felt herself swaying back and forth, as, just like clockwork, her chest finally released and she sucked in the most generous of breaths, releasing it like a howl in the night.

Her heart jammed against her ribs, begging to be set free, but it was trapped, just like her. She could no longer hold herself up anymore and thus collapsed onto the cushions. Allan's wood disappeared quicker than it came.

“Jackie!” he screamed as he grabbed both of her shoulders and forced her to look at him.

But Jackie could not find his sharp blue eyes in the darkness that surrounded her. His face had disappeared, been replaced by that of an anonymous man who took away everything from her, but gave her Laila in its stead.

“Jackie!” Allan had mounted her and taken her head in both of his hands. “Look at me, Jackie! I'm right here.”

Jackie had fallen back into the present. Her eyes opened wide and she could finally see Allan staring down at her, his perfect face bearing the most awful expression of complete confusion and fear. “I can't-” she started, but that was all she could get out, before the tears began to drown her. Her head collapsed onto Allan's shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her.

“What I did I do wrong?” he asked.

But Jackie couldn't bring herself to tell him what had happened to her; she couldn't bring herself to admit that she was more damaged than any perfect specimen he had ever dated in the past. She couldn't bring herself to admit to her past; to inherit it; to acknowledge it. So she just sat there in Allan's arms and cried. “You touched me,” she finally whispered.

Chapter Eleven

Jackie woke up in her own bed the next morning. The sun was streaming through the window, just like it did on any other morning but the dirty taste in her mouth told her that something terribly embarrassing  had happened the night before. She ran her hands through her tangled heap of hair as anxiety bubbled in the pit of her stomach, threatening to take over her, but one glance to her right told her that Allan was still there. She released a sigh of relief. As long as he was still there, everything would be okay. She sat up, looking down at the oversized shirt and short combination that Allan chose to put on her after he had gotten her to calm down enough to go to bed with him. Something about the thought of him choosing the least sexy thing in her drawer to drape her in made her want to laugh uncontrollably.

The sound of her giggling echoing off of the wide, sun-kissed walls woke Allan up. A tired smile played at the edges of her lips as she felt the mattress stir with his movement. In the next moment he had sat up and put his arms around her. “Good morning, beautiful.” The sensation of him kissing her shoulder set off that flair of anxiety all over again.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and scurried to the kitchen. “I'm gonna go make coffee!” she yelled as she turned the corner.

“What?” she heard him yell back.

But she couldn't bring herself to repeat what she had already said to him. Once she was in the relative safety of the empty kitchen and it became apparent that Allan was not going to follow her inside, she calmed down a little. Once she started a pot of coffee brewing, she disappeared into the small guest half-bath next to the coat closet. As soon as the door shut behind her, she dialed Victoria's number and pressed the phone to her ear, impatiently listening to the sound of the phone ringing.

“Hello?”

Jackie's heart stopped. “I fucked up.”

Victoria released a deep sigh. “Don't tell me he's already gone,” she replied in a disappointed voice.

Jackie shook her head then, realizing Victoria couldn't actually see her, continued with, “No. he's in bed, waiting for me to make coffee.”

“He didn't offer to make you coffee?” she demanded.

Jackie rolled her eyes. If only Victoria knew. “No, but considering what happened last night, he's got a free coffee card for the rest of his life.”

“Oh my God. Jackie, what happened? What did you do?”

Jackie pressed her back against the door, just to make sure no one could get in then hissed, “I started crying during sex.”

There was a loaded pause, then, “You did what?”

Jackie gulped. “Okay, let me clarify.”

“Oh please do,” Victoria retorted.

“It wasn't necessarily during sex. We were making out and he was giving me head... and just when he was about to enter me, I don't know what happened. I just freaked out,” she replied.

Victoria just sighed again. “Wait, Jackie...” she started in a severe voice.

But Jackie was becoming extremely impatient. “I don't need to remind you that now is not the time for judgment, do I?” she snapped.

Victoria released a dark chuckle. “God, Jackie. We're getting too old for you to keep asking me that dumb question.”

Jackie couldn't help but laugh a little herself. “Okay fine. What were you going to ask?” she continued.

“Have you had sex since the.... the incident?” she asked.

Jackie felt as if someone had picked her up and placed her on a soapbox in the center of a room packed with people. Blood rushed to her face and a lump formed itself in the base of her throat. “I...” she started, looking for some kind of excuse for the terrible answer she was about to give. There was none. “No.”

Victoria gulped. “I can't believe this is happening right now. I can't believe you went abstinent and I didn't even notice,” she replied.

“It's a lot different now,” Jackie replied. “Don't beat yourself up about it.”

“This isn't about me,” Victoria hastily replied. “You realize you're like a damaged virgin right now right? Having sex with him is going to be incredibly difficult for you.”

Jackie scoffed. “Yeah, I mean, I figured that part out all on my own,” she replied.

“Jackie, you're going to have to tell him what happened to you.”

“But-”

“No.” Victoria's voice held more conviction in it than it had in a while. “You cannot keep hiding yourself from him and expect to stay in this relationship like this. At some point it's going to blow up in your face and scare the amazing Dr. Chase away. You can't lose another person because you're afraid of them.”

Jackie found herself nodding to this lecture. “But how would I even begin to find the words to tell him?”

“Well, you could start by explaining whatever the hell happened last night,” Victoria replied.

Jackie nodded just as there was a knock on the door. “Shit. I gotta go,” she whispered before hanging the phone up. “Yes?” she called as she flushed the toilet to make it look like she had been doing normal bathroom stuff the whole time.

“Are you okay?”

Jackie put on her best, there's-absolutely-nothing-wrong, smile and yanked open the door. She found him staring down at her with that gaze that was a mixture of adoration... and worry. “Yeah, I'm fine. Why?”

He said nothing on that account, but raised his eyebrow, and brushed past her into the bathroom. “I just needed to pee.”

Jackie nodded and stepped aside to give him some room. Once he had shut the door behind him, she went back to the kitchen and poured two cups of coffee, the whole time running through the entire potential conversation in her head and hating every single variation she could come up with. When she had poured two perfect mixtures of coffee, cream and sugar, she took a deep breath and carried them back to her room, where Allan sat waiting for her at the foot of her bed. “Hi,” she murmured, a rueful smile spreading across her face as she took her seat next to him.

“Thank you,” he said as he took the cup of coffee out of her hand.

She shrugged, “Anytime, buddy.”

Much to her relief, he laughed at that half joke.

She joined him, but as their laughter faded away, she found herself at a loss for anything else to say, so she just sipped her coffee.

“This is wonderful coffee,” he complimented her with a mocking voice.

Jackie rolled her eyes. “It's not like I curated the beans myself.”

He nudged her. “Exactly.”

Jackie couldn't help but to laugh even harder. She took another generous gulp of the coffee, wincing as it burned her throat on the way down. She glanced up at Allan to find him staring down at her, drowning her in his gaze. He set his coffee cup down and reached over to her with both of his arms. Jackie wondered what she could have possibly done to deserve someone half as amazing as him as he leaned into her and planted a warm kiss on her lips. “How'd you sleep?” he whispered.

She shrugged, hiding her awkwardness in another cup of coffee. “Better with you next to me.”

He sighed. “Oh, you just always say the right thing,” he replied.

Jackie couldn't help but to laugh at that. “That's a lie and you know it.”