Saving Rain: The First Novel in The Rain Trilogy (29 page)

All the times he hurt her come rushing back. The memories of the unbelievable pain caused by his hands imprison her. His cold, cruel words of when he had repeatedly called her nothing, mere trash, over the years, slam into her, and she feels lightheaded. She relives the horror of being locked inside the dark attic for days with only water, and how it reduced her mind to such a weakened state, matching the weakness her body was reduced to without its needed sustenance. Her mind treacherously replays the last time he had locked her inside the attic for so long, her body so badly beaten and starved, that she began to believe he was going to leave her in there until she died.

When Raina remembers her lowest vulnerable moment, when she was at her most broken state that she actually hoped he would just let her die, anger surges through her, giving her back some of the courage that her father has beaten out of her time after time. “What are you doing here?” she manages to ask, so thankful that her voice doesn’t sound as weak as she feels right now.

“Is that how you’re going to greet your father after all these years?” he mocks her. He lets out a chilling chuckle as he explains, “I’m in town for legislation meetings.” He eyes her coldly, slowly walking around her as he continues to speak, “I ran into one of your friends. I believe he said his name is Seth, and he told me exactly where to find you. I should’ve known you would be in front of some computer.”

Raina wants to strangle Seth, but she knows that he had no idea to not to tell her own father where he could find her.

“I couldn’t leave town without taking the time to see my daughter,” his sarcastic words drip with pure contempt.

Raina forces herself to match her father’s stare, something she never did when she lived with him. She never defied him, never looked him directly in the eye, when his anger flared. She knew too well how severe his punishments were when she never even did anything wrong. For almost eleven years, she didn’t dare do anything that would purposefully anger him. She despises how weak she was, how she obeyed his every word, desperate to avoid his wrath that always came anyway.

Her mind rushes back to when she had finally mustered up enough courage to pour out his alcohol the last night she saw him, foolishly thinking that if it was gone, she would have a chance to talk with him rationally. He had ruthlessly proven to her that her years of cowering obediently to his every word was the wisest decision. She glares at him, refusing to cower before him ever again. “You really shouldn’t have wasted your time,” Raina retorts, unable to hide the sarcasm in her voice as he toys with her, still circling her like some kind of vulture waiting patiently on his next meal.

“A few years of you being out on your own and you have developed quite a smart mouth.”

“What do you want?” she demands, turning slowly, never taking her eyes off of him as he continues to circle her.

“To see how you have been. I had a nice chat with Seth, and he told me all about you whoring around with an older guy.”

Heat flushes Raina’s cheeks. “I have to go, my friends are waiting on me,” she tells her father, praying that the knowledge someone will be looking for her makes him nervous, and he will just leave her alone.

Her words have no effect on him, and he continues to slowly circle, unnerving every part of her.

“Do you have any idea the trouble you caused me when you left?” he spits out angrily, “I had to come up with a reasonable excuse as to why you weren’t around anymore.”

Raina juts her chin out in defiance, “That shouldn’t have been too difficult for you. You always were excellent with twisting the truth.”

Her father grabs her arm, and she forces herself not to cry out from the pain of his familiar bruising grip.

“You never talked to me like that before, don’t you dare think you have the right to talk to me like that now! I’m still your father!”

Rationally, she knows she should keep her mouth shut and not provoke him, but she refuses to let him control her any longer. “See, now, that’s the beauty of the legal system,” she begins, refusing to show the pain his grip is causing her, “with just the ink of a little pen, your rights to me were wiped away.”

“You and that mouth of yours need to be taught a lesson,” he sneers at her.

“You won’t be the person to teach me, not anymore,” Raina angrily retorts, trying to pull her arm free from his grasp.

He releases her arm but only to grab the back of her neck as he roughly pulls her closer to him, squeezing viciously. A pained gasp escapes her lips before she can bite it back.

“You’re pathetic! You honestly think you have made yourself a life here. Do you really think Kas actually wants
you?”
He laughs cruelly, his eyes showing how pathetic he believes her to be, “No one has ever wanted you, Raina, not even your own birth parents.”

Years of pent up rage from her imprisoned childhood and from the fear she still has of her father holding her prisoner, even after she’s escaped him, surges through her riotously. She lashes out at him, at his cruelty of how he has repeatedly proven to her that she is unworthy of love. She thinks of her mother, and she remembers that she had loved her.

“Mom wanted me!” Raina screams at him, the heart-felt knowledge of that truth burning in her eyes. She immediately realizes that she is on very dangerous ground, remembering in vivid detail the acute severity of the lesson he had taught her so many years ago, as he forbade her of ever mentioning her mother again. She witnesses the familiar hardness in his eyes and knows she is about to taste his punishment again. Before she can do anything, the air is knocked out of her stomach when her father punches her so hard that the blow knocks her to her knees.

“Your nothing, completely worthless, you always have been and always will be. What’s going to happen when he gets tired of ogling your body and comes to his senses and sees you as the pathetic trash that you are?” He roughly grabs her chin and forces her gaze to meet his, and she gasps for breath, “You taint everything you touch. You will do nothing but ruin his life, just like you ruined mine.”

He releases her chin just as harshly as he had grabbed it and leans in close to her ear, “Keep your mouth shut about seeing me, or I swear I will destroy his career.” He bestows her one last look of disgust before he leaves her alone, crumpled on her hands and knees, gasping for air.

Raina tries to rid her mind of her father’s final emotional blow as she tenderly sits back against the desk. His words of how she will only ruin Kas taunt her, and she gives the chair in front of her a ferocious kick, sending it flying across the floor. Laying her head against the desk rim, her head spins as she tries to forget his cruel prognostication.

Voices echo down the hall, and Raina scrambles to her feet, grabbing her aching side in the process. She hastens the difficult task of composing herself as much as humanly possible and quickly grabs her bag as Seth and Sara walk into the lab. She barely notices how they are sipping sodas and laughing over something Seth had just said.

Seth’s laughter halts when he takes in Raina’s expression and shallow breathing, “You okay, Raina?”

She plasters a fake smile on her face, “I’m fine, I’m just not feeling very well.”

Sara grabs the bag that falls off of Raina’s shoulder as Raina bites back a cry of pain. Sara gingerly hands her the bag, looking at her worriedly, “I hope you feel better.”

Raina forces herself to smile.

“Hey, did your father find you?”

Raina forcefully swallows back nausea and smiles as she nods in affirmation.

“You sure you’re alright?” Seth looks at her again, concern causing frown lines as he studies her strange behavior.

“Yeah, I’m just going to head home, I told Kas I’d be home in a few,” Raina tries to assure them as she waves and heads out the door. The rain starts to come down in heavy sheets, and she groans. She carefully scans the parking lot, thankful the university keeps it so well-lit as she fumbles for her keys with shaky hands. The pain bites into her as she eases into her seat. The pain radiating through her abdomen and side makes it difficult for her to regain her composure on the drive home, but she fights for her control, knowing she can’t ever let Kas know what happened tonight. Her father’s threat of ruining Kas’ career sends a shiver through her. She is fully aware that he is a very powerful man and has enough clout to cause Kas significant damage.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Kas hears Raina pull up, and his mouth suddenly goes dry as he turns into a nervous, sweating wreck. He lights the candles and turns off the lights before quickly pouring the sparkling cider into the champagne glasses.

“Kas?” Raina calls as she sees all the lights out, “you home?”

He holds the bubbling glass out to her as she rounds the corner. The unpleasant visit with her father is momentarily forgotten as she covers her mouth in surprise when she sees all of the flowers and candles. She turns to the table, romantically covered in a white tablecloth, when she gets a whiff of the tempting aroma wafting towards her, “Everything is so beautiful and smells wonderful.”

Kas laughs nervously, “I have to admit that the food is from your favorite restaurant on Main, but I wanted to be sure you got something you really like.”

“What are we celebrating?” Raina’s smile widens as she picks up a rose, inhaling its sweet scent. She turns back to him when he doesn’t respond, and her eyes widen in shock as he lowers in front of her, going down on one knee, holding a sleek black velvet box in his hand.

“Us,” Kas whispers, “Raina Kapture, will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?”

Her whole world starts spinning again, and she feels like she might faint as his words sink in. A rush of pure, unadulterated happiness overcomes her before her father’s earlier words slap her viciously in the face.

Kas sees her hesitation, her eyes full of conflicting emotions, and he jumps to his feet as he stammers, “I know you’re young, we can be engaged for as long as you want before we marry. We don’t have to rush anything.” His heart races with panic when he thinks of how she might say no, the realization nearly knocking him to his knees. “I just want to know that you’ll be mine, Rain.”

Years of her father’s cruel words rip through her thoughts, causing her head to ache from the intensity of the accompanying torrent of emotions. The taunting words, ‘
You
will
do
nothing
but
ruin
his
life’,
slam into her mind, and she grabs her head, desperate t
o ease the immense throbbing. “I can’t,” Raina painfully blurts out. “I’m so, so sorry, but I just can’t.” She wraps her arms tightly around herself as her chest physically aches from her despair.

Kas reaches out to her, worry emanating from her current condition. He grabs her arm to steady her, but she wrenches away from him and the pain that his grasp unintentionally causes from the after-effect of her father’s punishing grip. He mistakes her action and the wild look in her eyes as residual fear of him, and he is left breathless. Hurt blazes in his eyes.

“Do you think that I’m going to let you down, that I’m going to disappoint you like every other man in your life has so far?” Kas’ words are singed with anger as he yells, “I am not your father, and I am not Chris!” He turns away from her and runs his hands exasperatedly through his hair before turning back, needing to know what is going on inside of her head.

Raina turns away from him, but he grabs her arm and steps in front of her, his stare demanding an answer. She can’t look at him, she can barely breathe. She can’t handle this right now and pulls her arm to free it. Kas loosens his grip when he feels Raina tug, and she knows it’s because he doesn’t want to hurt her. The knowledge of how different he truly is from her father and Chris overwhelms her, making her feel scared. She hates the feeling of fear, she doesn’t want to ever feel scared again, and the type of fear she feels regarding Kas, and the possibility of him regretting having ever met her, threatens to paralyze her.

“Look at me,” he urges, but she doesn’t comply, so he tilts her chin so she is facing him. “Look at me!” he demands more forcefully.

Raina pulls her chin away, feeling so angry, ashamed, scared, mad as hell, and she doesn’t know why she doesn’t have the strength to end this, to just make a clean break and run. But she doesn’t want to run anymore, she doesn’t want to hide. She wants so desperately to be what Kas needs, she wants to be what
she
needs,
but she doesn’t know how, and that leaves her infuriated and feeling as useless as her father always said she was.

“What do I have to do to prove that I will not hurt you, that I will
never
hurt you?” Kas pleads, the hurt so apparent in his beseeching eyes.

She continues to say nothing, not because he doesn’t deserve an answer, he deserves so much more than she is capable of giving. She feels utterly clueless about what to say to make him understand something that she doesn’t fully understand herself. Rationally, she knows that she is being insane to keep pushing him away, but nothing in her is rational at the moment. Self-preservation isn’t always rational, and her heart will never survive if Kas decides one day that he doesn’t love her anymore. She can’t face that rejection, not from him.

“Rain, talk to me . . . please,” he begs. He looks so defenseless, heartbreakingly vulnerable, so unlike his usual infrangible identity.

Raina starts to crack, not able to cause him any kind of pain. “Kas, I know you would never hurt me. It’s me, I can’t—I can’t,” words continue to fail her as the long-repressed urge to cry threatens to become uncontrollable.

“Don’t! Don’t you dare use the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ excuse with me, Raina!” Kas half-pleads, half-demands, his voice raw from unshed tears.

“Just let me go,” she begs him.

Kas does just the opposite and pulls her closer to him, and she feels her world spinning, unraveling at a devastating momentum. She has no strength left, no will power, all dignity has been bled from her. “I can’t be who you want, who you need. I’m not good for you,” Raina chokes.

Her body betrays her, her knees go weak, and her hands tremble. The overflowing dam breaks as hot tears stream down her cheeks, and she collapses against him. Her body shakes violently from her heartbreaking sobs, and Kas wraps her into his arms as his own tears roll down his face.

“I’ve got you, baby, I’ve got you,” he soothes her, which causes more searing pain to tear through her heart.

She knows she won’t have the strength to go if she doesn’t leave right now. With the last piece of her heart shattering, she tears herself away from him and bolts out the door. The pouring rain joins the tears running down her face. Her tears blind her as she jumps into her car and drives away from Kas. She leaves him standing outside with the rain soaking through his clothing, his worst nightmare horrifyingly coming to life as he watches her leave, leaving him desolated and broken.

Kas remains standing motionlessly outside, allowing the rain to continue to pour down over him for several minutes as his devastation crushes him. With a heavy, bleeding heart, he finally turns and walks back inside. The ring he was so excited to put on Raina’s finger is still in his hand. Collapsing onto the couch, he stares at the ring that is burning into his trembling palm. Time seems to stop as he tries to figure out of what happened, what went wrong.

The doorbell rings, and, even though he knows she has a key, hope sparks as he prays that it’s Raina. He throws open the door, but disappointment crashes into him as he sees that it is Seth who is standing outside.

“Is Raina here, she left her iPod?” Seth asks him while scrunching up his shoulders from the cold, pelting rain.

Kas robotically pushes the door open so Seth can step inside. “She’s not here,” his words sound raw and pained.

Seth’s gaze sweeps over Kas, “Is she feeling better? She didn’t look so good when she left.” His earlier concern is renewed at the sight of Kas’ current condition.

“What are you talking about?”

“She seemed fine before her father came, but—”

“She saw her father?” Kas yells.

The anger dripping from his words startles Seth. He takes a hesitant step back, wary of the unadulterated wrath in Kas’ expression. “Yeah, I ran into him and told him where she was,” his confusion is evident in his voice.

A hefty curse word spills from Kas’ lips as he pushes Seth out of the way, grabbing his keys.

“What’s going on?” Seth calls after him, his confusion turning to panic.

Kas spins around, “What exactly happened when you saw her last?”

“I-I don’t know, she just looked terrible, and she said she was sick, then she left, forgetting this,” he finishes as he drops the iPod into Kas’ hand.

Kas shoves it into his pocket and turns towards his jeep again.

“Is Raina okay?” he pleads for Kas to answer him.

Kas turns and grabs Seth’s collar, shaking him roughly. “She hasn’t seen her father since she was sixteen, after the last time he beat the hell out of her,” he yells at him angrily.

A wave of guilt and fear soars through Seth as he realizes that he just handed Raina right over to her father, “What can I do?”

Kas releases Seth, taking a step back, afraid he might hurt him for what he has done. He knows Seth’s actions were innocent, but he doesn’t care about that now. “Call me if you see her or her father again,” he calls as he jumps into his jeep, his tires squealing on the wet asphalt. Kas fumbles for his cell and frantically dials Chase, impatiently cutting him off when he answers, “I need you to trace Raina’s cell, and tell me where she is, right now!”

Raina withdraws the maximum amount of cash the airport ATM will allow. She refuses to allow herself to think as she heads straight to the ticket counter before she can change her mind. Her throat feels so raw, and her heart tears inside of her like a million pieces of the sharpest broken glass. She drops her credit card into the outstretched hand held in front of her, not daring to look at the faceless person, knowing that with the slightest inclination, she will break down and succumb to the emotional tsunami raging inside of her. She angrily wipes away a tear with her trembling hand and somehow manages to force the words out of her mouth, her voice hoarse and foreign to her own ears, “One ticket to Pisa . . . one way.”

I hope you have enjoyed Saving Rain, the first novel of The Rain Trilogy. Please look for Healing Rain, the second novel of The Rain Trilogy, coming out in August for your reading enjoyment. After the Rain, the final novel, will be available in October, 2013. You can visit my website,
www.karen-annestewart.com
, for information about upcoming novels.

To report Human Trafficking or receive information call 1-888-3737-888 or text HELP or INFO to BeFree (233733). Contact information was received from the Polaris Project for the National Human Trafficking Resource Center.