Saving Silence (8 page)

‘Do you think these guys got the wrong person?’ I asked.

‘Let me look.’ Ollie held out his hand. I handed my phone over.

‘I’m sure I’d know if there was something significant there,’ I said. ‘Anyway, you know what’s on there. You were messing round with it the other night and
there’s nothing new since.’

Ollie went into the videos folder, which was empty, then into the texts inbox. I saw the text from Sam at the same time he did.

‘So you don’t know each other,’ Ollie said, looking at me. ‘Right.’

Crap, I thought. I took a breath. ‘There’s only one text there,’ I said. ‘All it says is “sorry”. I don’t know what he means or how he got my number. It
doesn’t mean anything.’

‘I want to believe you,’ Ollie said. I reached out and took my phone from his hand, placing it in my pocket. Then I did the only thing I could think of. I leaned in and kissed him.
At first I thought he was going to draw back, but after a moment he responded. I shifted into a better position, drawing my arms underneath his coat. He deepened the kiss. There was an intensity to
it that was new to me. Did he want to move our relationship on from the comfortable normality we’d fallen into? I felt Ollie’s hand slip to the small of my back. Then I heard voices
outside, Mum’s, mingling with the fainter um-mmm belonging to Benno. I drew back and Ollie muttered in annoyance. By the time Mum entered, we were standing as though we’d just been
chatting. Footsteps from the hallway told me Benno had gone upstairs. Mum threw me a dirty look.

I cleared my throat. ‘How was tonight?’

‘It would have been more successful if I hadn’t had to bring your brother along,’ Mum said. ‘What happened to you, Imogen? It’s not like you to let me
down.’

‘I needed help with coursework.’ Ollie spoke before I could. ‘Like, emergency help. Im gave me a hand.’

It was a rubbish lie, but Mum liked Ollie, and he knew it. To her mind, having a boyfriend clearly meant I was a normal, happy teenager. ‘At least you were making yourself useful,’
she said drily. ‘All right. Immy, just make sure you apologize to Benno.’

I nudged Ollie, silently thanking him. We spent a few minutes making small talk with Mum before Ollie made his excuses.

‘You don’t have to go,’ I said, leading him to the door. ‘We could watch a movie or something.’

‘I’m meant to have urgent coursework to do,’ Ollie pointed out. ‘Anyway, I’ve got something on.’

I didn’t ask if I could go with him. That would just sound needy. But I felt miffed all the same. Much as I didn’t like admitting it, I could do with a bit more comfort. Why had
Ollie even come over if he had to dash? And what about us? I’d been trying to prove something to him in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure the message had got through.

‘About Sam,’ Ollie looked over his shoulder as he stepped out. This time the smile was completely gone. ‘If you’re telling me the truth, why did you go round his house?
Twice?’

‘I only went to see how he was. This accident – I think it’s linked to me somehow.’

‘How much do you know about Sam?’

‘Nothing! And that’s what’s so frustrating. He won’t tell me anything.’

Ollie shook his head and walked away. I watched him cross the road, wishing I hadn’t messed up. I couldn’t blame him for not believing me. I knew it looked bad.

Then a thought struck me. How had Ollie even known I’d been to Sam’s? There was only one person I could think of who could have told him.

At eleven, just as I was getting into bed, my mobile went again. Before I even picked it up, I knew it would be another message from
them
.

If you don’t give us the phone we’ll hurt your brother.

I spaced out for a moment. Then I sank on to my bed, heart racing.

THURSDAY 14 NOVEMBER

There were severe delays so I had to wait ages at Liverpool Street Station for the train I needed. Something about a ‘shopping trolley’ obstructing the line. Who
does that kind of thing? I wondered, then realized that was a really stupid question. Vandalizing train lines was nothing compared to what the guys I was up against had tried to do.

I was hungry so I went to M&S and filled a basket with sandwiches, brownies and chocolate. It was only when I was queuing up to pay that I realized I’d picked up far too much food for
one person. What was I doing? I didn’t need to eat all that crap. I dumped the basket and left, angry at myself. All I seemed to be doing these days was screwing up. The only good I’d
done at all recently had been with Benno.

It had been a little weird meeting him properly. It was my first time mentoring at the school reading club. It wasn’t something I’d really wanted to do at first. My English teacher
suggested it one day when I was helping her carry some books to her car, more because I had nothing better to do than because I was trying to be teacher’s pet.

‘We’ve got a few kids who find reading difficult and need some encouragement,’ she said. ‘I want to get a mentoring scheme going – buddy them up with sixth-formers
who can give them more help and attention than they get in class. I thought you’d be perfect. Patient and kind, with a genuine love of reading.’

It’s not every day you get told you’re perfect for something, so of course I said yes. Reading club might not be the coolest place to be, but I had nothing to lose and I liked the
idea of being able to help people. The club took place after school in one of the English classrooms. Ms Taylor picked up a range of books from the library, many of which seemed far too basic even
for Year 7s. When Benno sat down with me and started to read aloud, I realized just how wrong I’d got it. Just because I found reading easy, didn’t mean it was the same for others. He
stuttered over every word, even short ones, which shocked me because he was quite articulate when he spoke. My heart really went out to him. I made sure to praise Benno as much as I corrected him
and I tried my best not to be patronizing. I must have been OK, because by week three his reading was a lot more fluent. I couldn’t help feeling chuffed – with Benno, and also with
me.

‘You’re really good at this now.’ I said. ‘Maybe you could try reading to your parents sometime. I bet they’ll be impressed.’

I was a bit taken aback by his scowl. ‘They wouldn’t care. They don’t even know I do this club.’

I asked him what he meant. And that was when I clocked he was Imogen’s brother, because out it all came – resentment about how uncared for he felt and how his parents were never
around. When I asked if he’d spoken to his sister, Benno said, ‘She’s a robot. She doesn’t feel anything. No one would ever pick on her.’

‘I think we’d all know if your sis really was a robot.’ I grinned. Then, ‘Hang on. Benno, are you being picked on?’

That was how I found out that Benno was being bullied. I don’t really know what it was that made him feel he could confide in me. Perhaps I’ve just got one of those faces.

‘I really think you should tell your sister,’ I said. ‘She used to be head prefect here – if anyone knows how to deal with this, it’s definitely her.’

Benno went quiet. ‘She’s busy. She’ll think this is silly.’

‘You’re a tough one, aren’t you?’ I said. ‘You’re wrong. Definitely. Just because she isn’t all fluffy and cuddly doesn’t mean she doesn’t
care. As a matter of fact, I know that your sister hates bullies.’

Benno looked interested for the first time.

‘Let me tell you a story about your sis.’ I said. ‘When I came to this school, I was in a bit of a bad place. For lots of reasons I didn’t want to make friends or join in
with stuff, and people got the idea I thought I was too good for them. I got Facebooked by people saying I should “go back home”.’ And nastier stuff, I thought, remembering the
post from HotGirl1998:

Y don’t u just go and kill urself now, world will b beta without u
.

‘It was cyber-bullying, basically. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think anyone could help. It went on for months. I don’t know how your sister found out but she
gave the people doing it hell. She even told the head teacher. A couple of kids got suspended, and one girl who was on a warning already even got expelled. Takes real guts to go to the teachers. It
doesn’t exactly make you popular. Imogen risked a lot doing that – for me, and I’d not been very nice to her.’

‘What did she say about it?’

‘To me? Nothing. She’s not even aware I know what she did. Maybe she just saw it as a head prefect’s duty. But that’s how I know she’s kind, or at least fair. Even
if she seems a bit of an ice queen.’

Benno fingered the spine of the book we’d been reading. ‘So why doesn’t she notice me?’

‘It’s easy to ignore the people who are right under your nose. Trust her. What’ve you got to lose, hey?’

Benno gave me a look that said he didn’t believe me. He made me swear I’d keep everything secret. I promised, knowing full well I was going to break it.

I really hoped Imogen had sorted things out for him. Maybe I’d find out when I went home. When – if – this nightmare was all over.

FRIDAY 15 NOVEMBER

My mood that morning must have been obvious, because when I came down to breakfast Benno, who was sitting at the table with a bowl of Shreddies, stared at me.

‘You look like you want to kill someone,’ he said. ‘Like a superhero. It’s cool.’

‘I don’t know about cool,’ I said, ‘but believe me, I feel pretty bloodthirsty.’ I skirted a look at Dad, who was reading the paper. He was never normally around at
this time. I asked him if he had the day off. He nodded.

‘Nice of you to mention it to us,’ I said.

Dad frowned. ‘Should I have done? You’ve your own things going on.’

My own things, which you have absolutely no idea about, I thought. Dad never asked what I was up to, and I doubted Mum filled him in. He probably didn’t even know which A levels I was
taking. Or maybe I was just getting at Dad because I was in a bad mood and he was an easy target. I had briefly considered telling my parents about the text, but they’d just complicate
everything. Mum would huff about me bothering her and tell me the threat wasn’t worth taking seriously. Dad might say we should go to the police, but what could they do? We had no idea
who’d threatened me and no way of finding out, as far as I could see.

Deciding to ignore Dad, I perched on the side of the table by Benno. ‘Hey, what have you got on today after school? Stay safe, OK?’

Benno gave me a strange look. ‘Just playing computer games at home.’

‘Good,’ I said, and picked up a bowl. I hadn’t forgotten last night’s text. What had happened in the park guaranteed that I was going to take the threat to hurt Benno
seriously.

I’d arranged to have lunch with Nadina in Greggs. She had free periods on Fridays and usually only came in for the afternoon. We could have met in the sixth-form canteen,
but what I had to say wasn’t something I wanted others overhearing.

Nads was waiting at one of the breakfast-bar seats by the window, sandwiches and doughnuts spread out in front of her.

‘Hey you,’ she said as I stepped in. ‘Got you your favourite chilli chicken bloomer. Last one left. There was this bloke eyeing it so I nabbed it. Thoughtful, eh?’

I felt a pang inside and ignored it. I slid into the seat next to her.

Nads frowned. ‘Whoa, who pissed you off?’

‘Let me tell you a story,’ I said, and filled her in about what had happened with Jessie. I showed her the texts.

Nads swore. ‘What d’you think’s going on?’

‘Who knows? What I do know is that I’ve enough crap to deal with without Ollie going mental cos he knows I’ve been going round Sam’s!’

Nadina didn’t even flinch. ‘You can’t blame him,’ she said. ‘I’d be pissed off too if my girlfriend had been going round another guy’s house. You have
been kinda obsessed with Sam since the accident.’

‘I wouldn’t have this problem if
you
hadn’t told him!’

‘Eh?’ Nadina looked flabbergasted. ‘I never said anything to Ollie.’

‘Yeah, right. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve spilled secrets.’

Nadina reddened. She knew exactly what I was talking about. Two years back, I’d told her about a boy I’d fancied. Within a week everyone knew – including the boy. I’d
never been vulnerable like that at school before. I’d hated it. ‘I only told Kimmie and Justyna,’ Nads had admitted. Like that had made it better! She just couldn’t resist
gossiping. Why hadn’t I learned from that?

Nadina pushed her half-eaten lunch to one side. ‘Well, I didn’t blab this time! I’m your best mate, Im. I’ve learned my lesson.’

I crushed my napkin into a ball. I hadn’t intended to get this angry or be so mean but somehow I couldn’t help myself. ‘Most of the time I don’t call you on gossiping.
Usually it doesn’t matter. But this time it does. I don’t know why Sam bugs Ollie so much, but I don’t want to lose him over this, because I
do not
fancy Sam. I’m
just interested in him, which is entirely different. This is getting blown up all out of proportion!’

Nadina leaned forward. Slowly and emphatically she said, ‘
I. Didn’t. Tell
.’

‘So how did Ollie find out?’

Nadina grabbed her bag. ‘Y’know what? I’ve had a tough week and I ain’t sitting here listening to this. I don’t know how this got out, but it’s a nice world
when your own best friend won’t trust you!’

The words stung. ‘You’re a fine one to talk about trust. Past evidence speaks for itself.’

‘Past
evidence
?’ Nadina raised her voice. ‘You just love your facts and figures, don’t you? Here’s some news: they ain’t always right! Sometimes you
gotta go with what your heart tells you. Even if the facts say otherwise.’

‘You saw those messages. Maybe I wouldn’t be so mad if I wasn’t freaked out!’

‘So bloody what? I’m scared about what happened to Hamdi, about my family getting attacked, lots of things, and I’m not bitching at you! What’s happening to you
ain’t so special. And this ain’t school any more, where you stamp your foot and everyone stands to attention.’

‘You are totally missing the point.’