Saving Tatum (Trace + Olivia #4) (25 page)

His hand found my neck, tilting my head back. He kissed me slow. Then hard. Then fast. Then slow again. He deepened it, his tongue stroking lightly against mine. If kisses could make you dizzy, then this was one of those kisses.

With a grin, he broke the kiss. He smiled down at me like I was his world.

I squeaked in surprise when he turned me around so my back was to his front. His hand eased up my top and then under the edge of the tank I wore. His fingers stroked lightly against my skin in tantalizing circles. I reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear. He rubbed his nose against my cheek and then I felt his mouth against my ear.

“Want to know a secret?”

I smiled. “Yeah.”

He chuckled warmly at my enthusiasm. “You’re beautiful.”

I reached behind me, wrapping my arms around his neck. I moved my hips to the beat of the song and his hands rose higher.

“You’re a charmer, Jude Brooks.”

He kissed the skin below my ear. “I’m no such thing.”

“Mhmm,” I closed my eyes, a small smile on my face.

He lowered his head, nuzzling my neck. His stubble scratched at my skin.

“The sun’s going down.” He whispered huskily in my ear. “Watch the stars with me?”

I couldn’t seem to find my voice, so I nodded in reply.

He turned me around so I faced him once more and my eyes popped open. “I want you to know that you make me want things I’ve never wanted with anyone else.” He swallowed thickly. “You should already know that,” he cracked a smile, “but I wanted to say the words out loud. I want you to know that you’re more for me.” He rubbed a strand of my hair between his fingers. “You’ve always been different, Tate. I used to watch you in high school and I couldn’t believe how beautiful you were and unlike other guys, I loved your tough girl attitude. You didn’t take shit from anyone. You weren’t afraid to speak your mind. I’ve always found that insanely attractive about you. But back then,” he smoothed a finger over my cheek, “it wasn’t our time.
This
, right now,” he leaned his forehead against mine, “is our time.”

I nodded in agreement. “Our time.”

He picked up the blanket and I thought it was to spread it back on the ground, but he didn’t. Instead he draped it over his arm and led me over to the truck. He put the tailgate down and grabbed me by my hips, lifting me up and onto the mountain of blankets and pillows.

I scooted back and found it surprisingly comfortable. He climbed in beside me and lay down on his back, fluffing a pillow behind his head.

We watched the last of the sun creep down below the line of the trees.

The sky became a pretty deep purple before darkening completely.

Under normal circumstances I would’ve been scared to death out in the middle of nowhere in complete darkness, but with Jude I wasn’t afraid at all. He made me feel comfortable and safe. I didn’t fear him and I knew he’d protect me from anything hiding in the dark. I trusted him fully.

He spread the blanket overtop of us and I rolled onto my side snuggling close to him. I laid my hand against his chest, rubbing my fingers in light circles over the thin cotton of his shirt.

I felt his lips brush my forehead in a barely there kiss and then his fingers smoothed through my hair. “You always smell so good,” he breathed.

I laughed, raising my head a bit to look in his eyes. “That was a strange thing to say.”

“What’s wrong with saying you smell good? Isn’t that a good thing?”

I laughed again and laid my head down. “Yeah, it’s a good thing.”

“What perfume do you use? I can’t figure out the scent.” His fingers rubbed my back.

“I don’t use perfume, just my shampoo and conditioner and that’s jasmine scented, but I showered with you this morning, remember? So I guess I smell like you.”

His chuckle vibrated my body and without even looking I knew he was grinning. “That’s why you smell even better today. I really like you smelling like me.”

“Don’t get all territorial man-beast on me now,” I laughed, pinching his chest lightly and then rubbing my fingers soothingly over the area.

“Me? Territorial? Never,” he gasped.

We both laughed at that.

“Tate,” he said suddenly.

“Yeah?” I asked, stifling a yawn. Despite the fact that it wasn’t that late, I felt exhausted after all of today’s activities.

“We’re supposed to be stargazing.”

“Oh, right.” I turned my head slightly and looked up at the night sky. Out here in the country you could see all the stars. There had to be hundreds, or thousands, maybe even more like a million. Regardless, they were stunning in their simplicity. They sparkled above us and almost seemed to be winking.

“Oh! Look a shooting star!” I pointed.

Jude started to laugh and I frowned.

“That was a plane, Tatum.” His body shook as he continued to laugh.

“Oh.” I mumbled. “My bad.”

“You see that star up there,” he pointed.

I squinted, trying to see which one he was trying to show me. “I think so.”

“That’s the North Star.”

“How can you tell?” I asked. I’d never been that into stars and knew very little about them. I wondered why Jude seemed so fascinated by them.

“Because, Tater Tot, I know everything.”

I smacked his chest lightly in a playful manner. “That’s a shitty answer, Brooks. You’ve got to give me something better than that.”

“What’s a better answer than that?” He chuckled. “I really do know everything. I’m kind of brilliant like that. Borderline genius.”

“Mhmm, liar.” I laughed, drawing random designs on his chest
as I looked up at the sky.

“You wound me. My feelings are hurt now.”

“Oh please,” I rolled my eyes despite the fact that he couldn’t see, “I know it would take a lot more than that to get to you.”

“You’re right,” he sighed, sobering. “I grew a thick skin a long time ago.”

“I hate that things were so awful for you,” I whispered.

“Hey,” he stroked his fingers gently through my hair, “things weren’t so great for you either.”

“You know,” I started, drumming my fingers against his chest, “I think maybe we should try to find Julia.”

“Julia?” He repeated in surprise. “The girl Pap thinks you are when he’s having one of his episodes?”

I nodded and then said, “Yes. I don’t know why…but I just have this feeling like it’s important that we find her. It’s weird.” I squirmed a bit, thinking he’d tell me I was crazy and to let it drop. He didn’t, though.

“Hmm,” he tapped his fingers against my arm as he thought, “let’s do it then.”

“You don’t think I’m crazy?” I asked, sitting up. One hand was pressed against his chest and my other against the blankets. My hair fell forward, hiding my face. He pushed it back over my shoulder and cupped my cheek.

“Maybe a little,” he grinned and I bowed my head. “How do we even go about finding her? She might not even be real you know.”

“I asked your grandpa about her today,” I shrugged before laying back down in my previous position.

“You did?” His tone was full of surprise. Obviously he hadn’t been at all curious about the girl named Julia, while I found it to be a mystery I was desperate to solve. Just call me Nancy Drew.

“I did,” I replied. “He said her name was Julia Hansen. I didn’t ask him anything else.” I purposely left out the part where I
did
ask if Andrew, Jude’s dad, had loved her. “Of course, she’s probably married now, but it’s a start.”

“Look at you,” he chuckled, tweaking my nose, “my little detective.”

“Hey,” I laughed, “if he’s going to think I’m this Julia person half the time then I deserve to know who she is.”

“I guess so.” Suddenly he pointed up at the sky. “Look, Tate! Now,
that’s
a shooting star.”

I gazed up
in awe at the light streaking across the sky.

“Make a wish,” he whispered.

I closed my eyes, but I didn’t wish for anything. After all, I now had everything.

“What did you wish for?” He asked me.

“I can’t tell you that. You know that would break the rules,” I smiled.

He rolled on top of me, pining me against the blankets with hands on either sid
e of my head. “You make me want to break all the rules I made for myself,” he confessed.

“And what would those rules be exactly?” I asked, tilting my head slightly to side.

He bit his lips, debating what he was going to say next. “I can’t tell you yet.”

“Can’t or won’t?” I countered.

“Won’t,” he answered immediately. “I’ll tell you soon, though. When I’m ready.”

I nodded. “Okay. As long as you promise not to forget. I’m really curious about all these rules you want to break with me.”

“One day,” he promised. His face grew serious, his eyes darkening to the point that they were nearly black. “Tate…” He swallowed thickly, his eyes closing. They opened wide and he took a breath. “Will you make love with me under the stars?”

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck and brought him down to the point that our lips were almost touching, but not quite. Before I kissed him, I said, “Do you really need to ask?”

I didn’t wait for him to reply. I closed that last millimeter between us and kissed him. He growled low in his throat. Jude initiated pretty much everything between us, but I was discovering that I could make him crazy by kissing him. I think it pleased him to know that he wasn’t the only one that wanted this. I wished I could be as open with my feelings as him. I was getting better but I wasn’t quite there yet.

So I’d just have to show him instead.

“Tate,” he breathed my name between our lips.

I kissed him leisurely, like we had all the time in the world. I put everything I had into that kiss so he’d
know
how I felt. I needed some way to express the depth of my feelings without saying them out loud.

His fingers found the buttons of my shirt, undoing them quickly. He pushed the fabric off my shoulders without breaking our kiss. It fell behind me.

I lightly bit his plump bottom lip and he let out a moan that had me squirming.

I pushed against him, deepening the kiss. Our tongues tangled together in a dance that only we knew.

My back rested on the soft blankets and my head was cradled by one of the many pillows. His lips broke away from mine and I gasped with longing. I wanted more. So much more.

His lips descended down my neck and he planted kisses over my breasts which heaved with every breath. I couldn’t get enough oxygen—no, that was a lie. It was
Jude
I couldn’t get enough of.

His fingers found the edge of my tank top. He didn’t bother taking it off slowly. It was ripped from my body and tossed outside the confines of the truck bed. Something told me I might never find it, and I really didn’t care.

I needed this.

I needed
him.

“You’re all I want.” His breath tickled the skin of my stomach with his words. “You’re it for me. Please, never doubt that.”

Somehow, without even telling him, Jude was aware of my insecurities. But how could I not be insecure when I knew he was a player? No matter the depths of my feelings for him, there was still this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me this wouldn’t last. Someone like Jude…he wasn’t made to be tamed, so what made me different?

“I only want you,” he continued, pressing soft kisses to my belly. His mouth ventured lower to the skin just above the top of my shorts and my hips bucked involuntarily.

I didn’t have a reply. I was pretty sure my brain had shut down entirely and could only process the touch of his fingers and the sensations they created in my body.

He undid the button of my shorts, but I grabbed his hand to stop him.

He looked at me quizzically, his fingers twitching against my shorts as he tried to restrain himself from tearing them off my body. “Tate?” He prompted.

I swallowed thickly and reached out for his shirt. He let go of my shorts and lifted his arms to remove his t-shirt. Yes. That was so much better.

I sat up and kissed his chest, right over his heart and then put my hand over it. I lifted my head and looked into his eyes. We both breathed heavily and his eyes were a heated brown, dark with longing. I couldn’t believe he was mine. It seemed surreal. I was so afraid that something was going to come along and rip him away from me. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to survive the loss of another person.

I looked away and said nothing as I went back to kissing his chest. His skin was so smooth and soft, but hard at the same time. He was going t
o have to let me watch him workout one of these days, because I really wanted to see what he did to get these muscles.

His hands skated up my back, oh so slowly, making me shiver.

He found the clasp of my bra and it fell between us. He pressed our chests together so we were skin to skin. I fit perfectly against him, like we’d been designed to come together like two puzzle pieces.