Say Forever (21 page)

To my surprise, Marie casts a woeful look at Tia, who is now glaring at her niece with crossed arms. Then Marie's face twists into a knot before she turns her back on us and quietly washes dishes. Her arms and back are so rigid, she looks like a robot, but I don't care. I've made my point. She'll have to deal with it.

"And Tia," I say as I put a protective hand over my stomach, "I
am
pregnant, but I don't think that makes me soiled. I am not ashamed if anyone knows I'm carrying Andrés 's child. This baby is a blessing. I am an artist. I put a lot of time into that dress. Those flowers are an expression of love, not just for my husband, but for our child. I am wearing
my
gown to
my
wedding."

Tia's scowl softens as she leans forward and places a hand over mine. "I understand, and I'm sorry."

I hug her a second time, and this time she hugs me back.

"I hope this means you'll come."

Tia looks at me with smiling eyes. "Of course. I wouldn't miss my
sobrino
and
sobrina's
wedding." She bites her lip, flashing a pleading gaze. "So does this mean we can cater it?"

I laugh. "You know how much I love Cruz tamales."

Tia turns toward her niece, who is still busy ignoring us. "Marie, you need to apologize. That was a terrible thing you said to Christina."

Marie drops a pan into the water as her spine stiffens. "Sorry," she huffs without bothering to turn around.

If Tia's eyes were lasers, they would have burned twin holes into the back of Marie's head. "You will be working on a better apology than that. And you owe Andrés an apology, too, for insulting his bride."

She ignores Marie's groan and turns to me. "Are you hungry,
niña
?"

"I just had lunch with my mom. I have to go. I have one more stop, and I'm already exhausted."

"Don't wear yourself out too much." She winks and rubs my belly. "Our mama needs plenty of rest."

"I won't. Thank you, Tia." I leave without saying good-bye to Marie, not that she deserves anything other than a kick in the ass. I smile at the thought. Something tells me she'll be getting a verbal ass kicking after I leave.

I stumble on my way to my car as a slight wave of dizziness rolls through me. I think about what Tia said about rest, and I tell myself she's right. I need to slow down. But Violet's ranch isn't far from here. One more stop, and then I'm taking the rest of the day off. Maybe I'll read some more baby books. My first OB appointment is next week, and I want to be prepared. I'm determined to put all of my troubles behind me and focus on having a healthy, happy child.

***

Violet's ranch is sprawling with teens. It's been a few months since I visited, and I can't believe how much the place has changed. Violet's grant money recently came through, and there's already a brand new bunkhouse near the main building, and the old run-down barn has new boards and is in the process of getting a fresh paintjob. Many teens armed with rollers and brushes are laughing and joking as they work.

I admire Violet for what she's trying to do here, and even though I'm still mad at Karri, I'm grateful Violet took her in, too. Violet does have a lot of work on her hands. No wonder Grace has become bitter. I can see managing a group of wayward teens would leave little time for romance.

I frown. Andrés seems to have a bigger workload each week, and has been coming home later and later. I wonder if his huge workload isn't the underlying cause of his nightmares.

I find Grace in the main house. She doesn't see me at first as I come in through a side door. She and a teen girl with Goth black hair and too many tattoos to count are bouncing around to Katie Perry while they set vases filled with flowers down the center of the longest dining table I've ever seen. It must seat at least thirty people.

"Hey, hummingbirds," I say.

Grace spins around, nearly losing hold of her vase. She sets it down on the table and holds her arms out for a hug. "Christina, you scared me," she laughs.

I'm surprised by her giddy tone. She's been so depressed over her relationship with Violet. I wonder if something has changed.

After we exchange an embrace, she asks the teenager to finish up. Then she loops her arm through mine and we go for a stroll through the foyer and out into her small herb garden. Only a few plants are blooming, but the place is even more beautiful than the last time I saw it. A little stone path, lined with several lattice archways, skirts the perimeter. In the center of the garden is a stone birdbath and a freshly painted white bench swing. A large oak tree is at the edge of the garden, and the canopy of branches adds just the right amount of shade to this surprisingly mild winter day.

I lean into Grace as we continue to walk arm-in-arm. "It's lovely."

"Thank you," she says with a smile in her voice. "It was my Christmas present from Violet."

We sit down on the bench, and I gaze into the house's large bay windows. "What a wonderful present."

"I know she loves me. I've been selfish to want all of her attention when she's committed to such a good cause."

Grace is smiling at a plant stem she twirls between the tips of her fingers.

A couple of kids nod to us as they skirt the outside path on the way to the barn behind us. They are covered in paint splatter and grinning ear-to-ear.

"Yeah, she is," I say, still in total awe at how much the ranch has progressed. "I can't believe how many kids are here."

"We've got teachers that come up during the day." Grace nods to the retreating kids. "School just ended, and now they have to finish their chores."

"What does Karri do all day?" I ask in as disinterested a tone as I can muster. I shouldn't care what Karri does with her day, but some part of me is hoping she's turning her life around.

"She's actually doing a lot more than I expected. Violet sent her grocery shopping today. One of the ranch hands went with her to supervise, and Karri came back with everything on the list." Grace's cheeks flush a rosy pink. "With the kids in school and Karri gone, Violet and I had a few hours to ourselves."

I nudge Grace in the ribs. "That's awesome."

She heaves a sigh before leaning back in a casual pose. Though she isn't the poised and polished Grace I'm used to, she most definitely looks happy.

"Thanks for listening to me gripe this week." Her voice is laced with shame, as if she's the only person on the planet who's ever had love problems. "How are you and Andrés?"

"Great, thanks." I laugh. "But his cousin is still a bitch."

Grace snorts and shakes her head. "Tell me something I don't already know."

I'm nearly tempted to address the fact that my poised and polished friend just snorted, but I like this new, casual Grace.

"Nora turned out to be an even bigger bitch." My cheeks flush when I think about Nora's betrayal, and I feel as if she slapped me in the face. I wish there was some way I could magically erase my memory, and forget those hours of precious wasted time I spent in that woman's company.

"I suspected something was up." Clasping my hand in hers, Grace fixes me with a penetrating gaze. "Tell me."

***

After I fill Grace in on the sordid details of Nora's betrayal and my mom's revenge, Grace offers me the most amazing solution, a wedding at Violet's ranch. Her garden, she says, will make the perfect backdrop. I think she couldn't be more right, but I don't want to put Violet and Grace out. Grace says she'll talk to Violet, but she insists the preparation will give the kids a meaningful project to work on. My spirits have lifted by the time I leave Grace's beautiful garden. She points me in the direction of the stables, where Karri is doing stall duty.

I'm not sure what that entails, but I suspect it isn't pretty. My eyes have to adjust to the dim light as I walk down the wide corridor flanked by stalls on either side. I remember these horses from my last visit. Violet comes from a long line of horse breeders, and when she inherited this ranch from her parents, they left her a profitable champion bloodline.

I can see the tops of two kids' heads as they talk soothingly to a horse and brush her shiny chestnut coat. I don't know much about animals, but I do know Violet's horses are beautiful, and I admire her for sharing them with these troubled teens.

I fight the urge to plug my nose. I forgot how badly manure smells. Though it's well past morning sickness time, I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach, and I hope I can keep my lunch down long enough to talk to Karri.

I think I spot a blast of pink hair disappearing into one of the stalls toward the back of the stables, so I continue on, apprehension settling in my gut like a lead ball. I still don't know what I'm going to say to her or if she'll even listen. I pause when I hear Karri talking to one of the teens.

"I took your advice and didn't get that tattoo," a girl who doesn't sound older than sixteen says.

"What did your boyfriend say?" Karri asks.

"He was pissed. And then I told him what you told me; if he really loved me, he'd understand.

Then he broke up with me."

"What an ass." I can almost see Karri rolling her eyes.

"Good thing I didn't get his name tattooed on my back." The girl laughs. "Thanks, Karri."

"No problem." The heartfelt note of sincerity in her voice reminds me of the Karri I once knew, the Karri who talked me off the ledge in high school after my dad's rape sent me into a spiral of depression and self-loathing.

I feel weird intruding on their tender moment, and almost decide to turn around and leave, but then the stall door opens and Karri comes out clutching a bucket filled with horse-shit in one gloved hand and a shovel in the other. She's got brown gunk smeared on her forehead and neck. I can tell by the bright freckles smattering her nose and cheekbones she's not wearing any makeup, but her skin has a natural rosiness and her eyes have a healthy glow. Despite the crap blemishes, I'd say this is the best Karri has looked in a long time.

"Hey." I hold up a hand and make some sort of half-assed wave, and I suddenly feel awkward standing here in my designer jeans and shoes, attempting to have a heart-to-heart with Karri looking like this. Not that I'm bothered by her appearance, but I can tell by the way she flushes all the way to her brassy pink roots, she's embarrassed.

"I already heard from Violet I'm not in the wedding, if that's what you were going to tell me." She drops the bucket on the ground, and debris flies out and scatters at her feet. Yuk.

That queasy feeling in my stomach rolls through me in a nauseating wave. I steel my resolve. I will not lose my lunch until I've at least talked to her about Ty.

I look away from the bucket of shit and turn my focus on Karri. If I don't look at it, maybe I won't get sick. "No, that's not what I came to talk about."

She arches a brow before removing her gloves and wiping a bead of sweat off her brow. "What's up?" Her tone is a mixture of disinterest and irritation, and I wonder if she's embarrassed because of her appearance or if she really wanted to be in my bridal party. If she's pissed, she'll have to take a place in line behind all the other people determined to dump all over my wedding plans.

"My mom and I had lunch with Mrs. James today."

"How nice." Karri flashes a smile that looks more like a snarl. "She refuses to be in the same room with me."

That unsettling feeling in my gut increases, so I try my best to brush off her attitude. "My mom wanted me to give you a message."

Karri folds her arms across her chest. She's got this look in her eyes like she's an angry bull preparing for an attack. "What is it?"

"Don't give Ty up for adoption," I say on a rush of air. "She says to trust her you'll regret it later."

"Look at me." Karri laughs bitterly before waving a hand toward the bucket of shit at her feet."What do I have to offer him?"

Again, I force myself to ignore the bucket, as I center my gaze on Karri's eyes. "A mother's love. That's more than what I had when I was growing up." My heart clenches with the admission, and I resist the urge to press a hand to my stomach and hunch over as my morning sickness worsens. Gah. It feels like someone is playing jump rope with my insides. Only a few more minutes, and if I can't convince Karri to change her mind, I'm running for the nearest toilet, or bush if I can't make it to the house.

Her eyes widen. "You don't think his grandparents love him?"

I heave a sigh as I think back to my lunch with Mrs. James. She seemed to care for Ty, even though she wasn't paying much attention to him. Still, I know it isn't fair of me to judge her parenting skills after just one lunch. "I do," I answer honestly. "I just think there's room for you in his life, too, and if you cut yourself out now, you're going to regret it."

Karri drops her hands as she stares down at her worn pair of boots. "They're giving me two million dollars." She looks up, her eyes glossy with unshed tears. "I can start a new life with that."

"Looks like you're already starting a new life." I motion behind her. I can still hear the teenager she'd been counseling shoveling inside the stall. Though Karri's life might not be glamorous, I can see she is still capable of helping others. "Why don't you give this one a chance first? I bet Ty would love to visit you on the weekends. There's so much up here for kids to do."

Karri smiles and blinks back tears. "One of the teen's little sisters came for a visit yesterday. We took her on the pony, just around the pen. You should have seen how happy she was. That's all I want for Ty, you know." She sniffles loudly before averting her gaze. "For him to be happy."

I swallow the rising tide of emotion that clogs my throat. At that moment, I realize I can forgive Karri for everything she's done. She may have made a mess of her life, and she has hurt many people who loved her, but she's still got some good in her. Maybe if she cleans herself up, and stays off drugs for a while, the thoughtful Karri I once knew will resurface.

"My mom told me, 'No amount of money is more important than your child's happiness,'" I say, hoping Karri will listen to my advice this time.