Scandal in the Village (5 page)

Caroline had gone straight back to the rectory after leaving the Store. She closed the door behind her and stood with her back to it, leaning on it. That woman would be the death of her. Hell’s bells. She’d felt quite guilty enough not going to the meeting, because it did seem a nasty trick to play, but to be told she should apologise! that really was too much. They’d finally tamed Sheila into being more reasonable and now she’d been replaced in the aggravation stakes by Katherine Charter-Plackett. These things are sent to try us she thought. But I should never have answered her back like I did. As the wife of the rector, as the Duchess said, she shouldn’t have. But of late her own worries seemed to override her innate good manners. The rectory was quiet. Peter was out, Sylvia was in Culworth at the dentist’s and the children at school till half past three. Nearly five years old. Where had all the years gone? She’d have a quiet coffee all by herself and read the morning paper. Hopefully the telephone wouldn’t ring.

The kitchen was warm. She adored this kitchen. She loved its bright walls, the pine table, the big Aga. She remembered what it had been like when they’d first moved in. Thirty years of a bachelor rector in residence had taken its toll. Peter had declared they’d never get the Aga into shape at all, old Mr Furbank must never have used it preferring the nasty little table-top gas cooker which they’d had removed, but some careful cleaning and a genius of a man who understood cookers had seen to that. Now it was her pride and joy. Though it was Sylvia who used it more than she. Thank heavens for Sylvia.

The coffee was jolly hot. She found the newspaper and carried it and her coffee into the sitting-room. Bliss! One peaceful morning all to herself. Though she loved general practice it was so draining, one always saw people when they were at their lowest ebb. Lowest ebb. The thought which had been pushing about in the back of her mind returned. She, a doctor, who’d said so many times as gently as she could ‘it would have been so much more sensible to have come to me as soon as you realised, wouldn’t it’ and here she was doing just that. Ignoring it. It was telling Peter which was going to be so difficult. That was what she dreaded. She could face it, but Peter wouldn’t be able to. She knew, even without his frequent affirmation of it, that without her he would be totally desolate. Love like his made hurting him horrifyingly easy.

Caroline picked up the newspaper and tried to concentrate, but every piece of news she read was full of doom and gloom. Was there nothing happening that was joyous? Apparently not. She laid the newspaper down again and tried to face up to her problem. Having been born with a badly deformed womb and now being more than sure that there was something insidious growing on her ovaries it seemed as though there would be nothing left in her to make her feel a woman. The phone rang.

‘Darling! Peter here! Look, I’ve got held up here in Culworth. Seeing as you’re having the day off why don’t you come in and have lunch with me? We don’t often get the chance do we?’

‘Sylvia isn’t back yet for a while.’

‘Never mind. She won’t be long, leave her a note and put the answer machine on till she gets back.’

‘Shall I?’

‘Yes, please!’

Caroline didn’t feel like being happy. She simply wanted to hide and to be left alone. But the pleasure in Peter’s voice! She really couldn’t deny him. A café in Culworth wasn’t Exactly the right place for telling one’s loved one about operations, so she could justifiably put off telling him.

‘You’re right! I’ll come! One o’clock at Abbey Close?’

‘Lovely!’

When she saw him coming, striding eagerly out of the Abbey Close towards her she wept inside. There was never going to be a right time to tell him. The smile of greeting on her face was genuine though. The very sight of him lifted her spirits. His vigour, his thick red-blond hair, the lovely glowing smile on his face which the sight of her had inspired. How could she break his heart?

‘Darling!’ Peter took hold of her elbows drew her close to him and kissed her full on the mouth. She kissed him back with a desperate fervour.

‘Peter! I don’t think rectors are supposed to kiss like that in public!’

‘Why not? I’m not a saint! And I am married to you! Where shall we go?’ He tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and smiled down at her.

‘Not the George. Not at lunch time. They always take so long to serve.’

‘Well, then. How about the Belfry Restaurant? Right here.’

‘OK. The Belfry it is.’

The waitress suggested a table in the window, which someone had just vacated.

‘Well, as I’m playing hookey I might as well be seen by everybody from the abbey.’

‘No point in doing things by halves is there?’ Caroline gave him her coat and he hung it up for her beside his cloak. She’d bought him the silver clasp for it when they’d first got married. He needed a new cloak now. She’d buy him one as a surprise, measure this one with her dressmaking tape. The cloak would have to be specially made because of his height.

‘Miles away? I asked what you would like?’

‘Sorry, darling.’ Caroline looked at the menu and all she could see was lasagne. ‘I’ll have lasagne.’

‘Are you sure? My treat?’

‘Absolutely. Thanks. Just coffee. I won’t have wine with driving straight back.’

‘No, of course not. I think I’ll have the steak and all the trimmings.’

‘Good, you need something to fill that frame of yours!’

‘You laugh, but for days now the laughter hasn’t reached your eyes.’

Caroline pulled back from people watching and stared at him. She’d forgotten how perceptive he was. ‘I’ve had an altercation with the Duchess this morning. She claimed I was without honour. And Harriet too! I’m afraid I gave her a mouthful and stormed out.’

‘Oh dear! That’s not my Caroline at all. Quite out of character. But that’s today. What happened to all the other days when you haven’t …’

The waitress came for the order and when she’d gone Caroline gave him a blow by blow account of the happenings in the Store kitchen. ‘So to conclude Harriet and Jimbo have been restored to each other, so all’s well with their world.’

‘Might be all well with theirs but not with yours. Are you overtired? Look, you don’t have to go to the practice. I’m sure there’s plenty of eager young things only too willing to take your place. Have a rest for a while. You’ve been working, albeit part time, for a good while now and I would appreciate you being at home. Is that the problem do you think, that you’re overtired?’

A short portly figure marched by the window. Caroline waved. ‘Oh, look there’s the Dean going past. Turn round and wave!’

‘Hope he doesn’t come in. Oh! he hasn’t.’

‘Nice man, the Dean. I like him.’

‘Wet!’

‘Peter!’

‘Stop changing the subject.’

‘I didn’t make him walk by.’

‘I wouldn’t put it past you.’

He sat twisting his ring round and round and round. Caroline read the signs. He was worried about her but he didn’t know why, his suggestion of being overtired was simply a stab in the dark to get the real truth from her. Well, she wasn’t going to tell him, not today. Not till she knew for certain.

‘I’m just tired I expect. It’s quite hectic working and then having two four-year-olds when I get home and at the weekend. You’re always so busy then you see.’

‘Yes.’ Peter looked across the restaurant. She obviously wasn’t going to tell him. But he knew there was a problem. But what? Maybe she didn’t know what it was either, just a general feeling of unsettledness. He was selfish. He’d brought her here, buried her in the countryside and it was all getting too much. Perhaps he should get out … for her sake. ‘I’ve been thinking about a change.’

Caroline didn’t answer until the waitress had finished serving them. ‘Thank you. Parmesan? Yes. Thank you.’ She brought her attention back to him. ‘A change?’

‘Yes, we’ve been here over five years, perhaps it’s time …’

‘Do you seriously fancy a move?’

‘Do you?’

Caroline hadn’t begun her lasagne. She’d picked up her fork intending to start but there was a strange tone in Peter’s voice she was wary of. She put down the fork and sat back. He was scrutinising her face, watching for the slightest sign, anything at all that might give him a clue.

She answered him very quietly. ‘The only reason we would move, my darling, is because
you
want to. That was the agreement we had. Your mission in life has a higher priority than mine. I can get a job anywhere I want to. That’s our rule. OK?’

‘But perhaps rules need changing?’

Very firmly Caroline answered ‘Not this one.’

‘So this sadness isn’t …’

‘Isn’t anything. I’ve come out to enjoy your company. Isn’t it great that Alex and Beth have settled so well at school. I was dreading Beth being difficult, when you remember how bad things were when she started playgroup. She loves her school dinners, I suggested packed lunches but she’s refused them.’

Peter decided to cheer himself up for Caroline’s sake. ‘Yes, it is. It’s a great relief.’ Then another thought occurred to him. ‘It’s not the children starting school is it? Made you feel like a spare part?’

‘A little teeny bit. But I can’t keep them at home for ever can I? I grew up and so must they. Alex gets more like you every day.’

‘He does, doesn’t he?’

‘Beth gets more like Suzy.’ There came a silence when Caroline said that. She knew he found it hard when she mentioned the children’s mother but there was no point in pretending Suzy had never existed. They only had to look at Beth to know she did.

‘Yes, that’s true.’ Peter pushed his unfinished meal away from him, placed his knife and fork side by side, and sat back to look at her. ‘So is that it? Is it this barren thing come back to haunt you?’

So near the truth. Maybe now was the moment, but there was a flurry of new arrivals and a man’s cultured voice saying delightedly, ‘Peter! Caroline! How lovely to see you. Not often you get away together for lunch! This is our first time here, we usually go to the George but they had a conference there today and it was far too busy for comfort. Muriel, my dear, look who’s here.’ Peter stood up as Muriel joined Ralph.

‘How lovely! It must be good if the Rector and his wife are lunching here! What a nice surprise.’

Caroline, seeing a way out of her problem, began pulling out the chair beside her. ‘Look, do join us.’

Muriel glanced at Peter, recognised a desperate kind of sadness, and shook her head. ‘Certainly not! You both look to be enjoying being by yourselves for a change. We shan’t intrude. Come, Ralph! Bye-bye! see you soon! Enjoy your lunch.’

Caroline caught the sound of Ralph protesting but Muriel was being quite firm with him.

Peter said, ‘Well, that ruse didn’t work did it? By the look on your face they were heavensent.’

‘I did not come out to lunch to be psychoanalysed. You’re my husband not my therapist. Finish your lunch! Eat up your greens! I’m sure your nanny must have said that to you many times!’

‘She did! She was a tartar! Once I …’ Caroline let him ramble on about his nanny, back on safe ground she thought thankfully. He took the hint and they chatted about everything under the sun including Dicky Tutt and Georgie Fields.

‘Caroline, do you really think they’ve gone away together?’

‘I shouldn’t imagine so. You know what the village is like for inventing things on the slightest pretext! I saw Georgie crossing over to the Store when I was locking the door, whether Dicky is back as well I don’t know. Everyone else thinks they have. Bryn apparently is like a bear with a sore head and Bel has gone silent and that’s not Bel. She’s as good as Jimbo for livening us all up!’

‘He’s the Scout leader you see. One has to be so careful even in this day and age.’

‘But poor Bel! Poor Bryn!’

‘It can’t be very funny in a small community like Turnham Malpas, where we all know each other’s business before we know it ourselves.’

‘Apparently Jimmy nods his head very wisely but keeps his lips clamped and won’t tell anyone what he knows.’

‘Does he indeed? Honestly, it’s always the same. I wonder what he knows? Help! I’m getting as bad as everyone else. One little hiccough and they have you dead and buried!’

Caroline didn’t laugh. Neither did Peter when he looked at her face.

In bed that night Caroline watched Peter getting undressed. ‘I don’t think you’ve put an ounce of weight on since we married.’

He went to stand in front of the mirror. ‘I don’t think I have. In fact I know I haven’t. Weighed myself a few weeks ago and I’m Exactly what I was then.’

‘Well, you do work hard at keeping fit. I admire your strength of character in going running in all weathers.’

‘Habit. Jimbo doesn’t come every morning like he used to, only about three times a week, says he doesn’t have the time any more. I’ve warned him all the weight he’s lost will slowly go back on again. But he claims he’s so busy now with all his enterprises, he’s on his feet all the time so he reckons he doesn’t need it quite so much. Won’t be long.’

He went to the bathroom. Caroline curled up on her side preparing to go to sleep. She’d tell him when ... no she’d tell him tonight. No, she’d wait until she got a date. That was it.