Scared of Beautiful (21 page)

Jackson

I consider grabbing coffee before my first class and then decide against it. Truthfully, I’m running really low on cash and I do need to pay the dorm fees. Sitting on my bed, I finger the small velvet box with the necklace I bought for Maia. If I sold it, I’d have a large chunk of my savings back and that would help. But that’s not an option. That pendant and chain will always belong to Maia, I’d rather starve than deny her it. I stash the box in its hiding place in my closet and make my way over to the Engineering building.

While walking, I pull out my phone and send a quick text.
Morning friend, sleep well?
My phone buzzes moments later.
Okay, some asshole kept me up all night. Funny though, I wasn’t tired at all this morning…
I laugh out loud as I read it. Maia is so much fun when she lets herself go.
Is that right? I’ll let the “asshole” know to correct that problem next time.
I hit send. My phone buzzes almost immediately, too soon to be Maia, and it isn’t. It’s Emmanuel.
Hey man, hit me back, we need to talk.
I hit delete; he doesn’t get the option of asking for my time.
Maia calling
flashes across my screen just then.

“Hey,” I answer cheerfully.

“Hi
friend
,” she replies, drawing out the title.

“So I hear your late night bedmate didn’t tire you out enough?” I feign sarcasm.

“Nah, didn’t even break a sweat,” Maia replies jovially.

“Good to know for next time,” I jibe.

“And what makes you think there will be a next time?” she replies cockily.

I laugh into the phone before replying. “I believe our relationship was reclassified to friends with benefits, in the plural, not benefit, as in singular. There will be a next time.” She laughs melodically in response. “I have class now,” I say reaching the Engineering building front steps. “Can we meet up later for a late lunch?”

“Sure,” she replies before hanging up.

At first I hated this whole friends thing, but if it continues this way, I think I could really get used to it. Seeing Maia so carefree is refreshing.
Emmanuel calling
flashes across my screen moments later.
What the fuck does he want?
Whatever it is, it’s not good, and I’m not interested.
So fuck him
, I think, before ignoring the phone and shoving it into my pocket. People like Emmanuel really suck the soul out of you. The better you try to do in life, the more they try to drag you into the same old shit.
Not this time, asshole
. I’ve somehow managed to keep myself from being locked up for the past four years. No way I’m risking prison time now.

Engineering is fascinating, if you give a shit about it on any one particular day. Today is just not that day. This cash thing is getting me down, and while the lecturer is droning on, I scroll through the classifieds on my laptop. Hell, I’m used to being broke, but like I said, I’m not going back to the same old shit this time. Nothing comes up, and before long it’s late afternoon and I make my way over to Maia’s apartment. With any luck, my
friend
and I will decide to order in and relax for the rest of the day. Flashbacks of last night fill my mind, and my dick hardens, reminiscing how it feels to be in Maia’s soft warmth again.

Arriving at the apartment, I see there’s a note stuck to the door.
Meet me at the Bean
. I walk over there and pull open the café door. Lo and behold, it’s fucking déjà vu, and déjà vu takes the form of pretty boy Blake. Thankfully this time there is distance between them, and the conversation seems less jovial. I know I promised Maia that I would back off on situations like this, but does this clown not remember me from yesterday? I’m pretty sure that I made my presence clear to him. The question is, did Maia?

“Hey,” Maia smiles as I walk over. Much to my delight, she’s quick to dismiss the prep boy and walk over to an empty table with me. “So, Blake was telling me his family owns this place,” Maia says tentatively, “and he mentioned that they need a new bartender for the night shift.” She eyes me cautiously trying to gauge my reaction before continuing. “And I may or may not have mentioned that you were looking for something.”

“May or may not?” I ask.

“That depends on whether you’re okay with me asking or not. If not I may not have,” she defends quickly.

“Maia,” I say with a deflated sigh, “I told you that I don’t want favors.”
Especially not from the fucker over there that’s making his presence in my territory known on a daily basis.
“You’re asking if I need a job, and the answer is yes, but if you’re asking me if I want to work here for that fool, the answer is no.”

“Are you mad?” she asks.

I am mad, but considering the good intention, I try not to show it.

“You don’t have to answer, I know you are. Whenever you’re mad you grind your jaw, just like you’re doing now,” Maia continues before looking down.

“Can we just go, maybe grab take out or something?” I ask. Now all I want to do is get the fuck out of here.

“Sure,” she replies before standing.

She orders in Thai food when we get back to the apartment and settles on the couch in front of me. “I was thinking,” she starts.

“Now there’s a dangerous pastime!” I tease, cutting her off and laughing.

“Shut up!” she replies throwing a cushion at me. “But if you don’t want to hear a solution to your problem that doesn’t concern working for Blake, that’s fine.”

“Okay, speak,” I say, intrigued.

“Nope, never mind.” She draws her eyebrows together in a mock scowl.

“Okay,” I say shrugging my shoulders, my face morphing to perfect feigned annoyance as I stand up and walk towards the door.

“Where are you going?” she calls after me.

Gotcha
. “Yes?” I say turning towards her with not a hint of a smile on my face.

“Stay here.” The words fly out of her mouth with nervous apprehension.

“What?” I ask, confused as shit.

“Stay in the second room here, you can pay me a boarding fee that covers all meals, That way you won’t need to work while you’re here. As friends of course,” she says. “The room’s empty, anyway.”

I bet if I’d left her she’d probably try to negate her own awkwardness with justifications all night long. That’s not what I had planned to do all night long. “So you would basically subsidize my college years?” I ask.

“No, and if you don’t want to accept that’s fine, just say so,” she retorts with finality.

I think carefully about my next words. Maia when on the defensive is the how she shuts people out. That’s not the side of her I want to see. Just as I’m about to answer, I feel my phone buzz. I pull it from my pocket to read the text.
You had better call me. You should know better Jay, bad things happen when you ignore me.
Emmanuel’s text is threatening, and the scariest part of it is that he never issues empty threats. I think of all the people in Atlanta that he could get to who I care about: Jade, my parents, Shana.
Daniella.

“Everything okay?” Maia asks, sensing my angst.

Bringing up Emmanuel in front of her is never a good idea. “Yeah, I just have to get going, okay.” I say shortly.

“What, why? Dinner hasn’t arrived yet,” she says walking over and resting her arm on mine. I shrug it off without even thinking.

Correcting myself, I lean forward and kiss her on the cheek. “I’ll call you later,” I answer, before walking out the door.

I dial Emmanuel’s number as soon as I leave Maia’s building.

“Jay, so nice of you to get back at me,” Emmanuel answers, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“What do you want, man?” I ask abrasively.

“Now, now, we go way back, how you gonna talk to me like that?” Emmanuel is drawing this out, which is pissing me right off.

“Speak or I hang up,” I reply shortly.

Emmanuel half-laughs into the phone. “No, Jay, you won’t be doin’ that, not at all, not when you know and I know that pissing me off is a bad idea. Too many of your loved ones in these parts.”

“I’m listening,” I say, low and defeated.

“I need you to do a job with me. I need cash to pay back one bitch of a loan. And I need a wingman,” Emmanuel says.

“You have plenty of those, why me?” I ask.

“Most of the fuckers I know are either too stupid to do this, or just can’t be trusted,” he says.

“What makes you think I can be trusted?” I ask. “Considering you just fucking broke me and Maia up, for fun.”

“You ain’t an asshole like that. And I need you. Really, the choice is up to you, but bitch moves like refusing, they have repercussions. They always do. And since you’re playing college, Ivy League, you won’t be here to play bodyguard. Maybe my first mission will be to show Jade what good dick feels like. Slap her around a little. Show her how a man can handle her. Don’t matter if she wants it or not, does it? You know how we do? If the assholes after me haven’t killed me yet, I may even take a trip up to Rhode Island, and pay your little girlfriend a visit.”

And I don’t doubt that his threat is legitimate. I grew up with Emmanuel. I used to appreciate the fact that he was a dude of his word.
Now the idea sickens me
. “Okay,” I say resignedly. “When do you need me?”

“Beginning of next week,” he answers.

“Can’t do,” I reply, “I have an exam.”

“Skip it, Jay,” he says before hanging up.
Fuck!

Maia

I know something’s wrong with Jackson. It’s a bit hard to find out what, though, since he hasn’t answered his phone since he hightailed it out of here earlier. I pay for the mountain of Thai food I ordered when there were two of us. But my appetite is well and truly gone. I decide to make the call to Megs to check on my mother.

“Hi honey,” she answers happily after two rings.

“Hey, Aunt Megs, how are you and Mom doing?”

“Great!” she answers. After catching me up on the fact that my so-called father has not been in contact with her, and that she has been volunteering at the local church, I’m satisfied that everything is going well. I ask about money and she tells me that they’re fine. After promising to visit next week, we hang up. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I will always run from my past, but I won’t stop feeling bad for the people I left behind, at least the ones who deserve it.

My thoughts wander to Jackson. I left
him
behind. I’m still leaving him behind. My phone rings shrilly next to me, startling me out of my pity party. Jade’s name flashes across the screen.

“Hi,” I answer immediately. I miss Jade so much. Real friends like her are so rare, and it makes me miserable that she’s so far away.

“Hey, babe!” she says happily. We chat on for awhile about Providence and Atlanta, and the girls who she has been seeing lately. I tell her about Blake, and debrief her on what’s happening with Jackson.

“He’s really proud Maia,” she says. “Don’t push the offers of help on him. It won’t end well.”

“I figured that out,” I reply.

“Hey, I actually called because I wanted to talk to you about Jackson.”

Oh, why?” I ask, definitely curious.

“He called me a little while ago, to tell me to watch my back. He said he’ll see me next week. Did he tell you he was making a trip down here?”

“No,” I say, confused as hell.
He would tell me something like that, wouldn’t he? Or would he. Maybe that’s not the sort of thing he tells his friends?

“Maia, I heard rumors that Emmanuel is up to something big, and that he needs Jackson. I don’t know what’s happening with you guys, but he doesn’t need to come back here for anything to do with Emmanuel. You need to make sure.” Jade sounds like she’s on the verge of tears.

“Big, like what, Jade?” I ask.

“I don’t know, but whatever it is it’s not good.” Jade’s voice breaks with worry. “Maia, this is not your neighborhood, when shit goes down here, people die. That’s how it is.”

My heart seizes in my chest. The words
die
and
Jackson
should never be used in the same sentence.

“I’ll talk to him,” I say before we end the call.

I try Jackson’s phone a few more times over the course of the evening, with no success. My heart sinks. Apparently, friends don’t have the luxury of knowledge of their friends’ comings and goings.

The weekend rolls by with no word from Jackson. Blake seems to pop up every time I’m at the Bean, and for a brief moment I consider the fact that he may well be waiting in the back, every day until I arrive. Good thing I’ve never been that vain. By Monday, I’m over the fact that Jackson won’t take my calls. In fact, I’m more than a little pissed. When I swing by his dorm room, Ben, his roommate, who I know realize is not always tired but just a complete stoner, tells me that he’s not there, but has barely left the room for most of the week.

I wait until Wednesday and just after lunch make my way over to the basketball courts. If there was ever a guarantee in this world, it’s that he’d be there. Sure enough, as I approach the courts, I see Jackson slamming his way across the court defensively, practically knocking down the other guys in the process. He’s normally a team player. Apparently, a lot’s changed since last week. I make my way over to the courtside and wait for him to notice me standing there. He does more than once, but averts his eyes back to the game, barely acknowledging me standing there.