Scarlet Heat (Born to Darkness) (31 page)

“Yes!” I made motions at her with my hands. “Go!
Order!”

Doubtfully, Addison placed my entire huge order
and then drove around to pay and get the food. As she passed the warm, greasy
bags to me, I felt my stomach twist painfully. God, I was
so
hungry. And not thirsty like I was when I wanted blood—actually
starving
for food
. Real food.

This is crazy,
I told myself as I pulled three
piping hot fries out of the bag and crammed them into my mouth.

Back when I was first born to darkness, the very
first time I visited Addison, she had tried to feed me. I had been so upset
about being turned into a vampire I had wanted to try human food again, even though
it didn’t smell appetizing at all. To my heartbreak, it had tasted like
nothing—like sand. Even placing the most luscious chocolate truffle on my
tongue and letting it melt was like trying to swallow a clod of dirt. It had
made me sick as a dog and I had been more upset than ever.

But now, for some reason, things seemed to be
completely different. The French fries in my mouth tasted like…French fries.
Hot and salty and greasy and good, they coated my mouth with their flavor,
their crisp outsides popping open between my teeth to let out the delicious fluffy
center.

The burger was the same way—salty and fattening,
the cheese dripping down my chin, the onions crunching, the tangy pickles…
So good,
was all I could think.
Oh my God, so good, so
good!

And then I tried the shake.

Creamy, rich, chocolaty and cold—so icy and sweet
it made my teeth ache. It was good—more than good—amazing!

I looked up at Addison who was watching me with
wide eyes.

“Addy,” I whispered, reaching for another fry.
“It’s…food. It tastes like food again. I can’t believe it.”

“Neither can I,” she said flatly. “Taylor, are
you sure you’re not hurting yourself?”

“Hurting myself? I’m in
Heaven.”
I finished another container of fries and then a sudden
wave of shame hit me. “Oh God, Addison—I’m horrible. I shouldn’t be eating this
way, not after what I did to Victor.”

“No, hon, you shouldn’t be eating this way
because you’re a
vampire.”
She shook
her head. “I just don’t understand—are you cured or something? Can somebody
just spontaneously
stop
being a
vamp?”

“I don’t think so,” I said doubtfully. “I mean, I
never heard of anything like that.” It would have given me hope if I had—I’d
never particularly enjoyed being a vampire. It wasn’t anything I would have
chosen if I had been given a choice.

“Open your mouth,” Addison commanded. “Let’s see
if you still have fangs.”

“I do,” I said.

“Well, let me
see
.”

I swallowed and opened my mouth dutifully while
she flipped on the overhead light and peered inside. After a moment, she
nodded.

“Yup, still there.”

“Told you.” I touched the tip of my tongue to one
sharp point and thought again of all the awful bite marks I’d seen on Victor’s
body. My newfound appetite abruptly disappeared.

“Well,” she said, putting the car into gear.
“Maybe Corbin will know something about it. Come on—let’s go ask him.”

“No, Addison, please,” I begged, crumpling up the
empty bags. “I don’t want to see him now.” Corbin had entrusted me to Victor
and made him promise not to hurt me. But he hadn’t said anything about
me
not hurting
Victor.
“I can’t stand to see Corbin right now and admit…admit what
I did,” I said. “Not now. Not yet.”

“I still don’t think you did half as much damage
as you think you did,” she said, frowning. “But fine, I’ll take you to my
place. You can hang out there until the two of you come to your senses and get
back together.”

“That’s not going to happen,” I said in a low
voice.

Addison didn’t answer—she knows when to stop
talking and leave me alone. Another good quality in a friend. She just raised
an eyebrow at me and stole one of the few remaining fries.

Addison had a nice little condo in Hyde Park—one
of the more fashionable areas in South Tampa. The dusty little Ford Escort she
used to drive was parked in the driveway with her parking sticker from the
VAB—the Vampire Auditing
Bureau—still in the corner of the
windshield.
She
didn’t work there anymore although she
did
still do some freelance consulting for them. Mostly, she was working on her
thesis in Eighteenth Century English Literature and hoping to teach somewhere
when she was done.

It was good to see her softening up a little and enjoying life
again. Being a VAB agent had made her tough and hard in a way that made me sad
when I remembered the sweet, happy girl she’d been in college. Now that Corbin
was in her life, I could see that girl coming back again, a little at a time.
But she was still eminently practical, which I appreciated.

“Come on,” she said, letting me into the condo. “You can stay here
as long as you need and I think I still have some of your old clothes in the
closet as well as the dresses I brought over last night. Of course, your
regular clothes will be six years out of date now but oh well.”

“Oh well,” I echoed with a sigh. Her little condo was clean but it
seemed dusty and disused and there was a stale smell in the air. Addison never
had time for pets after our cat, Samikin, had run away, so the place felt
completely empty and cold.

“Ugh.” Addison looked around with a frown. “I need to get over more
often and clean. Sorry it’s so musty.”

“It’s fine,” I said, switching on a lamp. “And the bedroom is
light tight—that’s all I need.”

“That and blood,” she said doubtfully. “Or do you?”

“I don’t know,” I said calmly. “But I do know one thing—I won’t be
taking any more from Victor if I
do
need
some.”

“What?” She frowned. “Look, Taylor, just because you’ve suddenly
developed the capacity to inhale junk food by the carload doesn’t mean you
don’t need blood. I mean, you’re a vampire—remember?”

“Look, I’ll be okay, all right?” I said. “I just need…a little
time to myself. That’s all.”

Addison sighed. “All right. I didn’t mean to be pushy—I just worry
about you.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” I insisted.

She snorted. “Nothing to worry about? What about you going into
heat and having weird dreams and going out in the sun? Not to mention the
blackout sex you had with Victor and now you’re eating actual
food.
I mean my God, Taylor, if there
was any kind of vamp clinic anywhere I’d be taking you there right now.
Something is
definitely
going on with
you.”

“The only think going on with me is that I’m tired.” I
manufactured a yawn. “So
tired.
I
feel like I could sleep for a week.”

“But it’s only…” She looked at her watch. “It’s not even midnight
yet.”

“I know but I’ve been going to bed earlier and getting up earlier—remember?
It feels like bedtime to me now—I want to sleep.”

“I don’t know…”

“Please, Addison…” I put a hand on her arm. “I swear, I really
just want to get some rest. Maybe things will look better in the morning. Or in
the afternoon, which is usually when I wake up now.”

“All right,” she said, very reluctantly. “If you’re sure…”

“I’m sure.” I pulled her into a hug. “Thank you, roomie,” I
murmured. “Thank you for being there for me and for understanding. You’re the
best.”

“Everything is going to be okay.” She hugged me back and then
pulled away, giving me a reluctant smile. “You sure you’re feeling better?
You’re not going to do anything, uh, drastic?”

“Not unless you call taking a hot shower and crawling into bed
drastic, no,” I lied, trying to smile. I faked another yawn. “Geeze, why am I
so sleepy? It must be all the food—I haven’t had anything but liquid in my
stomach in forever. It’s really weighing me down.”

“Yeah, I think I can see the outline of that double cheeseburger
right there.” Addison poked me gently in the midsection and laughed. “You ate
like a pregnant woman, you know? Crazy.”

“Yeah.” I tried to laugh along with her but I couldn’t help
remembering the dream I’d had, the dream of Victor and me on the beach with our
daughter.
Just a dream,
I reminded
myself sadly.
It could never come
true—especially now.

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone to sleep,” Addison said, grabbing her
purse and keys from the little table by the door. “But I’m coming around noon
to check on you and you’d better be ready for pancakes. Since you can eat
again, I’m making you the biggest breakfast you’ve ever seen.”

“Mmm.” I smiled and rubbed my stomach. “Don’t forget the bacon,
okay? And maple syrup—the real stuff, not the fake kind.”

“Picky, picky,” Addison laughed, shaking her head. “Yeah, I’ll
bring the good stuff, don’t worry. I might even go off my diet and join you.”

“You’d better,” I told her. “If I’m going to get fat, I’m not
doing it alone. You have to go along with me.”

She laughed again. “What will Corbin say?”

“He’ll love you no matter what,” I said quietly. “You know that.”

“Oh, hon…” She sighed and gave me one last hug. “It’s going to be
okay,” she said softly. “Everything is going to work out.”

“I know,” I said and thought,
because
I’m going to
make
it work out.

I knew exactly what I had to do and as soon as Addison left, I was
going to do it.

Chapter Twenty-three—Victor

I don’t know how long I lay on the bed, hating
myself. I just kept thinking of all the ways I had failed her. Taylor had told
me she might never feel ready to have sex again and then she’d woken up with me
inside her. And it wasn’t just that…it was the
way
I had taken her. I winced when I remembered it.

I
was so
rough with her. Pounded into her. Used her like a whore. What the hell is wrong
with me? How could I do that?
The beast…my curse…her heat…no excuse was
good enough. Nothing could explain away what I had done.

How many times had I sworn I would never hurt
her? Never use or degrade her the way she’d been used and degraded by that
bitch Celeste? I couldn’t stop seeing that hurt, confused look on her face or
hearing the pain in her voice. I had sent her to Corbin because it was the only
thing I could think of to do. At least she would be safe there—safe from me.

My one small satisfaction was that I hadn’t
changed into the beast that still raged inside me. By fucking Taylor—I winced
when I thought the words but they were the only ones that fit, we sure as hell
hadn’t made love—I had managed to back off the need to change some, but I was
pretty sure the curse couldn’t be held back forever. The brand on my back was
still burning and tomorrow was a full moon night.

God, tomorrow….why should I care about fucking
tomorrow anymore? Taylor was gone, out of my life forever. And I had been too
much of a coward to even watch her go. I’d heard her sobbing in the other room
as she called Addison and begged her to come. The sound had made me feel like
someone was tearing my heart out and roasting it over live coals.

I’d wanted in the worst way to go to her, to beg
her forgiveness for what I’d done. But it was too much, too awful and
unforgivable. I had destroyed her trust—the trust I’d worked so hard to build.
I wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to see me again. Hell, I wouldn’t
blame her if she sent Corbin after me—I had broken the vow he had made me take
during our blood-bonding ceremony not to hurt or abuse her. Broken it all to
hell.

I should probably go to him and confess…let him do what he wants.
No punishment he could devise would be as bad as losing Taylor, though.
My house felt empty without her. So did my heart.

God baby, I already miss you.
I missed her
arms around my neck, her soft, gentle laugh, the sweet, quiet way she talked.
And I missed her sharp little fangs in my throat…Her fangs…
Something about that bothered me. And then…
her fangs. Oh my God, I’m an idiot!

I nearly slapped my own forehead. How could I be
so stupid? I had sent Taylor away from me when
I was the only one who could feed her.

I’m her only source of blood and I sent her away to starve.
Now I felt even worse, if that was possible. I jumped out of bed and ran
into the bathroom. The way she’d been crying, she had probably lost a lot of
blood. She was going to be thirsty as hell soon with no way to quench her
thirst. Hell, she probably already was.

She probably won’t want to get close enough to you to feed from you. Not
after what you did.

The thought stopped me dead in my tracks. Of
course
she wouldn’t want to be close to
me—not close enough to feed from my throat, anyway. My cock ached when I
remembered the delicious sensation of her sharp little fangs piercing me there
and I hated myself all over again. Well, maybe she would at least take from my
wrist. That way she could keep me at an arm’s length—literally. Or maybe she
could feed from me in wolf form.