Scars From Within (The Franklin Blues #1) (8 page)

Chapter Nineteen

Shawn

W
hat the hell just happened? One minute, I’m giving Hailee an amazing orgasm with just my fingers and tongue, and the next she’s grabbing for me. I just stopped her because I wanted to let her know she didn’t owe me anything. I guess she took it the wrong way.

I jumped off the bed, went over to the bathroom door, and knocked lightly. “Shortcake, come on open the door, please.” I heard sniffling, and I felt like someone just punched me in the gut. I never wanted to make this woman cry. I wanted to make her laugh, smile, and just be happy. If she cried, I wanted them to be tears of joy not sadness, never sadness. “Hailee, it’s not what you think. I want you so bad I can barely stand it. But I need you to know that I am not going to rush this, and you never owe me anything just because I give you something. When you came, it was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. You get this flush to your cheeks, and your breath hitches just enough to make me almost lose it myself. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” I leaned against the wall and slid down until I was sitting on the floor.

Silence reigned in the room.

“I can see myself falling in love with you one day Shortcake and I don’t want to rush anything, because I know we would be explosive together. I can already tell, but you’ve got to work with me here. I want to bring you happiness, not sadness. I never wanted to make you cry, but you gotta come out, so we can talk about what just happened.” I heard the door open, so I hopped off the ground. I looked over at her, and I hated the look on her face.

Her eyes were all puffy, swollen, and red. He tears were dried on her cheeks.

I hated that I put that look on her face.

“Say it again, please Shawn.”

I stared at her feeling baffled for a minute.

She had this look of hope on her face.

I didn’t know which part of my little speech she wanted to hear again. “I can see myself falling in love with you? Is that what you wanted to hear? Because I’ll say it again, as often as I need to for you to realize how serious I am about you. I can really see myself falling for you. I just hope you feel it too.”

All of a sudden, she jumped into my arms, and wrapped her legs around my waist. She slammed her lips onto mine. Out of all the kisses, we’d shared so far, this was by far the best. I felt how much she already cared about me in that kiss. I carried her back over to the bed. I wouldn’t sleep with her tonight, but I would lay in bed and kiss her all night. I really didn’t want to rush anything, and I hoped she truly understood why.

I laid her on the bed, and just gazed at her. She truly was more stunning than she gave herself credit for. Her strawberry blonde hair was fanned out onto the pillow, and her green eyes shone with such vibrancy.

I wanted that shine to always stay in her eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay? I would take a lifetime of blue balls, and it will probably happen, just to make sure that we go slowly enough to ensure you feel one hundred percent about taking that next step. I know you needed the release, and most importantly; I wanted to know it was my fingers and mouth that is able to get you off and nothing else. I hope you know that you are very important to me, and I take care of things that are very important me.”

Hailee just looked at me for a long minutes, and I kept eye contact.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m not sure what I was thinking. Well, I guess I do but you probably don’t want to hear it after hearing everything else I’ve shared today. Was it today? Man…it’s been a long day, so why don’t we just get some sleep. I’ll share that part of my story another time. I just really want to go to sleep. Can we?”

“Sure, Shortcake, we can go to bed. Do you want me to go back to my room? I don’t want to assume anything, but I really want to sleep with you in my arms tonight. Is that okay?”

She gave me a small smile, “I would love for you to sleep in here with me tonight Shawn. I want to go to sleep in your arms, and wake up tomorrow the same way.”

So, that’s what I did. I pulled her into my arms, and tucked body her close to mine. When I finally fell asleep, it was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in over a year.

Chapter Twenty

Hailee

T
he past month has been absolute heaven. Shawn and I have gone on dates, stayed in and watched movies while cuddling on the couch. We’ve taken Jax to the dog park, and the best part of it…we have slept together in bed every night. Shawn has to work an overnight shift tonight, and that makes me nervous. I’m not sure how I will sleep tonight without being in his arms.

I haven’t had any more run ins with Josh, but I’m sure it’s not over yet. Lance and Shawn are still looking for him, but I don’t think they’ll find him. He’s been in hiding since the night he tried to kidnap me and take me home with him.

Shawn is in the process of getting me a job as a desk clerk at the station. The one they have now is retiring, and they’re going to have me replace her. I start working with her in two weeks to start training. She’s going to teach me everything there is to know about working the front desk at a police station. I intend to soak everything up like a sponge and do Shawn proud.

I have already decided I want to take things further with Shawn. He has no idea that today while he was at work; I went out with Amy to get me something special for when he got home tomorrow morning.

To say she was excited for me would be an understatement. In her opinion, I should have, ‘jumped his bones, and rode him better than any eight second ride, a long time ago.’ If it were her, she would’ve slept with him that first night we met him, but I wasn’t like that. Amy still doesn’t know about what I went through with Brandon, and I felt like an awful person for not telling her. I just feared that once I told her, she would look at me with pity in her eyes.

Eddie did as soon as I told him everything. Hell, he even cried when I told him about the years of abuse both physically and sexually.

Amy definitely is a character, but I admired her confidence in herself and in her sexuality. I hope I could be more like her one day. When we walked into the local mall, Amy went right toward
Victoria’s Secret.

I didn’t know why she was doing this to me. I just wanted to get something nice for Shawn since it felt like I was giving him my virginity or something. “Amy do we have to go in there? I just want something simple, and I know I can’t afford anything in there…you know this. Shawn gave me a bank card with my name on it for emergencies, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t one.”

“Oh, my God, quit with the bitching will you. I’m pretty sure once Shawn sees you; he isn’t going to care you used his money to get it. Plus, I’m pretty sure he could afford it. He lives quite well for a lowly police officer. I mean yeah, he makes a little bit more for having Jax, but I think he got some kind of inheritance or something.”

“Seriously, Amy, quit being a bitch. It was his wife’s life insurance policy that helped him afford the nice house and truck. He isn’t living off that money though. He has it put into savings. She had a huge policy, so he paid off the house, and bought him a new truck. He isn’t making a truck payment, or a mortgage payment. So he could afford other things like the dates he takes me on, or the toys him and Lance play with.”

“Speaking of hotness, why haven’t I met Lance yet? I am quite jealous that you get all the hot guys. I know you’re like totally in love with Shawn, but can’t you share the other one? Don’t be such a stingy biatch.” She even had the nerve to say that she wanted to meet Lance, when she had all the men she could handle in her life.

No way would I let that happen—“Wait what? You think I’m in love with Shawn? That can’t be true. It’s too soon. WAY too soon; I can’t have those types of feelings yet. Plus, I know that he doesn’t feel that way.” I couldn’t be in love with him yet—right? I mean yes, we sleep in the same bed every night, and he made me feel protected and safe. But love, is it possible yet? I mean I couldn’t picture my life without him in it. I did have a dream the other night where I was walking in the back yard with Jax while rubbing my swollen belly, and I felt like everything was the way it was supposed to be.

All of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks—I
was
totally in love with Shawn! I broke out with the biggest grin on my face.

“Oh, so you finally figured out what I’ve known for weeks. You love Shawn and he loves you. Can I just say
gross
because every time you guys are in the same room it makes me want to vomit with all that lovey-dovey eyes between the two of you. Now, enough love talk. Lets find you something that will make Shawn cream his jeans when he sees you.”

“Really Amy, do you have to be so nasty? I mean yeah, I want him to really like what he sees, but do you have to be so blunt about it?”

She just laughed at me and we spent the next hour finding the perfect outfit for me to wear. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the one. I just hoped that Shawn would like it too, but I have a feeling he will. I smiled to myself when I finally made it to the register, and bought the one thing I knew would seal the deal for my fate with Shawn.

Chapter Twenty-One

Shawn

I’
m beat. I just want to go home, curl up with Hailee, and go to sleep. I realized a couple weeks ago that I loved her, and I planned on taking her out to a nice dinner to tell her. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, but I don’t want to scare her away either. I want everything to be perfect.

I pulled up to the front of the house, and got out of my work truck. I opened the back door for Jax to get out. He just ran to the side of the house and into his doggy door. He loved that stupid door, and I’m glad I finally put the dumb thing in.

I went into the house and immediately smelled bacon.
I guess she cooked me breakfast, but where is it?
I walked into the kitchen, but it is clean. I made my way into the dining room, but get the same results. I checked her bedroom, but it’s empty too. The only other place she could be is in my room. I’m not sure why she would be in there though, since we always sleep in her room.

I slowly opened the door, and what I found I could honestly say I would never have ever imagined. It was the most amazing sight I have ever seen. She made me breakfast in bed, but that’s not the most amazing part. She was in bed wearing a see-through nightie, and she looked radiant. I’m not sure even the lingerie models looked as good as she did in that outfit. “Um, not that I’m complaining, but what are you doin’ there sweetheart?” I couldn’t really move from where I was standing because I felt afraid it might all be a dream.

“I decided something a few days ago. Do you wanna know what I decided?”

All I could do was nod.

She smiled and continued, “I decided I’m ready to give myself to you. We’ve been seeing each other for a month now, and I’m ready to take this step with you.”

I swallowed hard. I’ve been dreaming about this moment for over a month now. I’ve wanted to get her under me, and bury myself so deep inside her body that we would become one person. “Are you sure honey, because we don’t have to do this. We can just cuddle up and go to bed like we always do. You know I’m not going to push you. I would never make you do something you’re not ready for.”

“I know you wouldn’t Shawn, and that’s one of the things I love about you, but I’m ready. I want you to show me what it is supposed to be like. I want you to make love to me. I need to know what it’s supposed to feel like being intimate with someone, and have it be just for the pleasure of being with someone. I’m willingly giving myself over to you. You are already starting to own my heart, but I want you to completely own my body too.”

Well, who was I to deny her? I moved over to where she sat on the bed. I don’t want to spook her in case she changed her mind. I picked up the tray with my breakfast on it, and set it on the end table. I lay her down on the bed until I am covering her with my body. I am dead tired, but I don’t feel drowsy at all in this moment. I bring my face down to hers, and give her the tenderest of kisses. I poured all of my feelings into this kiss.

She kept trying to deepen it.

I gave her what she wanted and opened my mouth, so I could taste her. I could tell she had breakfast already from the sweetness of the syrup I tasted on her tongue. It just made her natural taste even sweeter. I could just lay here in bed and kiss her all day, but I could tell she was getting frustrated with my not making the move to go further. “Shortcake, I’ll give you what you want, but are you totally sure? I’m okay with what we have been doing.”

“Seriously, you’re going to ask me that after I get dressed up or in this case…
down
? Yes, Shawn, I’m more than sure. I know you’ll wait for me, but sadly I can’t wait any longer for you to be ready,” she said the last part on a little giggle.

I loved the sound of her giggles and laughs. I chuckled myself, because I could tell she was getting impatient. “Well, who am I to deny what I my girl wants? I want to give you the world Hailee. Anything you want.” I placed my hands on her hips, and slowly moved them up along her torso toward her breasts, so I could get to her nipples. As soon as I reached my destination, I twisted them gently between my fingers. I felt her back bow off the bed. I attempted to pull her lingerie up, but I couldn’t get it up all the way, so I did what any man would do…I ripped it off her.

She gaped at me in shock. “I can’t believe you just did that! Do you know how much that cost? I have to go—”

I cut her off with my mouth on her perfect little nipples. I know I’ll just give her money to go buy a new one. While I teased one with my fingers, I nibbled on the other with my mouth. I didn’t want one to feel neglected, so I switched sides. I kissed my way up to her neck, and nibbled on her sensitive flesh, all while my hand is traveling south. I can tell I was hitting the right spot when she moaned my name.

I loved the sound of my name coming out of her mouth that way. I crooked my fingers into a come-hither motion. As soon as I did this, she is screaming my name. When her panting finally slowed down, I gazed up at her and she had tears in her eyes. “Please don’t cry Hailee. I’m sorry, this is all we’ll do for the day. I don’t want to ever make you cry.” I felt like shit, and I don’t think I will be able to make love to her like I wanted to, but of course, my Shortcake has a surprise at every turn—what she said next—blew me out of the water.