Scars of the Earth (21 page)

“My name is Armaan by the way. If you are done interrogation me, we can go now.” He said looking into the darkening forest. She followed his gaze and thought that they probably should head back.

Madgie needs fluids.

“I’m Amanda, but I am sure you already know that.” She said introducing herself awkwardly. “I need to head back to Cole and Madgie, you can come with. Just stay behind me incase we’re attacked.” She moved her eyes from the forest back to Armaan. The right corner of his mouth was turned up in a half smile.

How many damn smiles can one person have? She wondered, annoyed at herself for even noticing.

“You want me,” He said gesturing to his large frame. Blood rose to her cheeks and she was about to argue, when he continued. “To stand behind you,” His hand rested on the top of her head, which was a good foot lower than his. “In case we are attacked?” He finished with an eyebrow cocked skeptically.

“Yes, you idiot! And get your hand off of my head.” She said swatting away his big palm.

“Wow, calm down. I just had to make sure that I had it right.” He said moving behind her and crouching down. “Onward bodyguard!” He whispered.

“Grr.” She grunted. “Have I called you an idiot yet?” She asked moving forward.

“Yes, yes you have.” He said following in her footsteps. “I think I found the one thing that you and Nell have in common.” He said, sure of himself.

“And what’s that?” She asked letting go of a branch early, and sending it smack into Armaan’s face.

“Ouch!” He said rubbing his cheek. “I was going to say bravery. But now I see that you volunteered to lead the way out of sheer jealousy.”

“Jealousy?” She asked.
“It’s okay, I’m not mad. I have dealt with this kind of thing my whole life. You are jealous of my chiseled face and want to see its destruction.” He said in an overly dramatic voice. She tried to stop her laughter, but was unsuccessful.

“Well, I do believe that people have been smacking you in the face your whole life.” She said thoughtfully. It was silent as they walked, and they had just reached the densest part of the forest when he put a hand on her shoulder. She stopped, waiting for him to say something funny.

What is it now? Does he not understand that I need to get back to Madgie? She fumed. But he didn’t say anything, so she turned around.

He had his head down, but being so tall, she could still see his face. It looked torn, searching even. His brow was furrowed and most of the light had gone from his eyes. He had his lips pursed together, as if he was trying to prevent himself from speaking. But when he looked up and met her gaze he wasn’t able to stop himself.

“Why are you so angry with me?” He asked in a breath. His question took her so off guard that she took a turn hiding her face. He looks so miserable. She thought guiltily.

“I know that is probably a stupid question with all that is going on. It’s just…I have heard about you for so long. I mean you were even a topic of discussion in the Guard before all of this. You leaving the way that you did. Most Healers that run just disappeared without a trace, hoping that everyone would forget them or assume the worst had happened to them in a Scar. But you, you stick a note to the message board.” He paused.

She was glad to see that the light had returned to his eyes. He seemed so full of life; she wondered how he could exude such excitement. When she reached her energy out to his, she felt only darkness and death. Yet he was standing before her, eyes gleaming brighter than a child’s on Christmas morning.

How can he do that? How can he be all darkness and a bright beacon of light at the same time? She wondered.

“Your note is the reason that I left the Hovel. You saved my life.” He said. Her throat tightened and she almost choked on her tongue.

“How is that possible?” She asked through a cough.

“I woke up early the morning you ran, no one else was up. But I was usually the first person wandering the halls; the nightmares were so strong back then…” He raised his hand to his head and began to rub his temple, trying to massage out whatever bad memory had worked its way into his mind.

What did they do to those boys? She wondered, not really wanting to know the answer. He opened his eyes after a moment and smiled apologetically before continuing.

“I was looking for Cole, he was in the Guard with me and I always felt saner when he was around. He wasn’t in his normal hideouts so I went to grab breakfast early. I was in the dinning hall before all of the shouting and hysterics. When I showed up there was only one person standing in front of the message board, Cole.” The ground seemed to shift below her feet and she thought she might fall, but he didn’t notice.

“We never cared about what happened around there. So I didn’t understand why he stood there, still as a statue, mesmerized by a loan piece of paper. But when I got to him, I understood why. The words on them affected me, like nothing ever had, and there were so few of them. Just five, five small words. ‘I’m leaving because I can.’ I left two weeks later, you inspired me.” The way he said her words, annunciating everything precisely, made it clear that this scrawled out sentence was of the utmost importance to him. She didn’t want to shoot the wind out of his sails, but she had to.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but that isn’t what I wanted to say.” She said honestly. She was glad for a moment when he looked so surprised, and then she reminded herself that he was a good person. Not like Frey, he wasn’t her enemy. They just looked so like one another.

“What do you mean that isn’t what you wanted to say? You started a movement with those words Amanda. You are the face of freedom and bravery to so many Healers.” He said almost hysterically.

“Bravery? Hell, I was too much of a coward even to finish my own sentence. I was going to say, ‘I’m leaving because I can’t take this anymore.’ Or something along those lines, it has been a while.” She said with a shrug. His eyes drilled into her, searching for even a hint of a lie in her words.

“You inspired me, and started an underground rebel movement, with an unfinished sentence?” He asked in disbelief.

“Well this is the first that I am hearing about an underground movement, but yeah I guess I did.” She was worried that he might be angry, sad, or disappointed in her. But that wasn’t even close to his reaction. He chuckled to himself then his chuckle turned into a deep belly laugh. Laughing? How could he be laughing, I just told him that his inspiration in life was meaningless?

“Are you okay?” She asked unsure of what to do. He wiped a tear from his eye and shook his head.

“Wow, you are even more amazing than I guessed!” He said patting her shoulder.

“I see that you are a fan of sarcasm.” She said through her teeth.

“No, no.” He coughed, clearing his throat and straightened himself upright. “I am being perfectly sincere. You are probably the only person in the history of the world that could ever positively affect an entire people with a sentence fragment.” He laughed and she joined him. It felt amazing to laugh with him; she had been tight as piano wire for so long her body had started to ache.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I wasn’t very nice to you. I’m sort of new to having enemies. Well, real ‘I want to kill you’ type enemies. I’ve had the ‘I think you‘re scum!’ types for a while. And you kind of remind me of one of them, and not just because you are both on the Guard. I can see that you are a far better person than me. I guess I just can’t trust my instincts anymore, I’m probably too paranoid.” She said apologetically. The relaxed atmosphere that she had been enjoying disappeared, as did the Armaan she knew. A blank faced monster stood before her. His light seemed to have drained from him and he grew darker by the second.

Was it something I said? She thought worriedly.

“Armaan?” She said, touching his unmoving shoulder. “Armaan, I am sorry if I said anything to upset you. I didn’t mean too, I’m no good with words.” Darkness rolled from him and began to blot out the little sun light they had left.

“Stop this Armaan, you’re freaking me out!” She said. Ignoring the hammering of her fear driven heart, she moved closer to him. She wasn’t really frightened of him, just the darkness that had been instilled in him. Putting her hands out on either side of him, she rubbed his arms, trying to get him out of whatever state he had fallen into.

“Armaan?” She said, seeing the light come back into his eyes. He shook her hands off of him gently and took a few steps away from her. She moved forward, but he stopped her.

“Please, just stay there for a second.” He begged, putting his head between his knees. She wanted to console him somehow, but didn’t know what to say to someone struggling through such inner turmoil.

How has he done this all of these years? How does a person stay good and true to themselves with so much darkness thrust upon them? She wondered who Cole would be had he not gotten out, the thought sent a cold shiver down her spine.

“I’m sorry if I set you off, are you okay?” She asked. He straightened up and took a deep breath.

“Yeah, I’m real sorry that you had to see that. I get that way sometimes when people mention my brother.” He whispered.

“What do you mean?” She asked, perplexed. “I don’t even know who…”

“I wouldn’t stop trusting your judgment if I were you.” He looked up and met her gaze with dark eyes. “You took one look at me and saw him.”

No. She thought.

“Saw my brother, saw your enemy.”

Please no!

“Saw Frey.” He choked over his brother’s name, like it made him sick to say it. She wanted to scream.

How could Shiphra send the brother of the person whose face I see when I picture the enemy? She wondered.

If she thought that she might have trusted him less after such a revelation, she was wrong. She couldn‘t bring herself to look at him any differently-he looked so ashamed. Why should he feel ashamed for the thing that his brother is. It isn’t his fault, and it really isn’t even Frey’s.

“It isn’t your fault that you’re related to him.” She almost shouted. “Worry about the things that you can control, like getting us safely to New Hovel.” She turned to move forward, but he held her back.

“You don’t care that he is my brother?” He asked in a rush.

“Well Shiphra doesn’t seem to care, so why should I?” She said as lightly as she could manage, trying to assure him that it didn’t matter at all. “And it isn’t really his fault that he is the way that he is, it’s the…” She was going to tell him that his brother wouldn’t be like this had the Ancients not made him that way, but he interrupted her.

“No, it is his fault. There is a choice in everything. Even when you are forced into something that you never wanted, you can choose to fight it; you can choose to hate it. But he didn’t, he chose to enjoy what he called ‘freedom’.” He said defiantly.

“Let’s just get you back; I don’t really want to talk about this.” He started walking then stopped and spoke over his shoulder. “Thanks for saying it doesn’t matter. I can’t tell if you really mean it, but it’s a nice thing for you to say.”

They walked together side by side; she didn’t feel the need to stay in front of him. Although she could tell he felt the need to be in front of her, he had gradually lengthened his stride until she had to take three of hers to match one of his. It didn’t tire her out like it should have, it just annoyed her slightly.

Is every guy I meet going to treat me like a wounded baby bird? She wondered.

“Can you stop trying to out run me; you don’t even know where we are going.” She said trying to keep her annoyance out of her voice.

“Sure, sorry. I tend to walk fast when I am nervous.” He said slowing his pace.

“Why are you nervous?” She asked, not understanding what he had to be worried about.

“I uh…don’t know how Cole is going to react when he sees me.” He said running a hand through his hair anxiously. “He doesn’t know who I really am, and the person he thinks I am is definitely not going to be welcome around him-or you. He hates me.” He put a hand on her shoulder trying to get her to understand.

“Don’t worry; Cole trusts me. Even if he doesn’t trust you, he will listen to me.” She assured him.

“I wouldn’t sound so sure about that if I were you.” He said quietly. She wanted to ask him why he thought Cole wouldn’t want him near them, but Armaan had already started walking.

He doesn’t know what he is talking about, Cole couldn’t hate anyone. Especially not Armaan, he is so easy to like. Once you get around his resemblance to his brother. She thought.

They were near the opening and she was surprised that Armaan had led them to the correct spot. She was so involved in her thoughts that she forgot to tell him where to go.

He knew where we were the whole time? She wondered. And he let me say that he would get us lost! Of course he knows where we are staying; he knew where to find me. She thought foolishly. She turned to thank him for letting her make an ass out of herself, but held her tongue.

He didn’t seem to notice her studying him, too lost in worrisome thoughts. His jaw was clenched tightly. The flexed muscles partnered with the evening light cast haunting shadows across his boyish face, making him appear older and sharper than he really was. Or maybe it was his nerves that made him look this way. She guessed that this might be the way a soldier looks before going into battle.

Why? She asked herself. Why can’t he relax? It’s not like anyone here will try to hurt him. She thought in annoyance.

She broke through the trees entering the clearing before Armaan; he had fallen back without her noticing. She wasn’t paying any attention to him; having caught sight of the cave, and the familiar person running towards her screaming.

Chapter 17

It took her longer than it should have to process the words that Cole was shouting at her. Both because it was a shock to see him running at her screaming and due to the fact that her worrisome mind automatically assumed that something had happened with Madgie. Once she understood his words and the reason behind them, she relaxed.