Scars of the Future (2 page)

Chapter Two

I pulled my ear buds out of my ears as I pushed open the front door to the apartment I shared with Maddie and Sydney. I wiped at the sweat that was falling down my face and moved into the kitchen to refill my water bottle. It was only three weeks into June, but it was starting to warm up earlier and earlier every day. It wasn’t hot by any means, Sacramento wasn’t really ever terribly hot, but a five mile run in seventy degrees could get toasty.

I was buttering a piece of toast when David walked out of Sydney’s room, closing the door behind him. It was early, only six, and I knew that Sydney was probably still asleep since she didn’t have to be up until eight. David’s brown hair was damp, already in disarray, and his dark blue eyes shined brilliantly as he slung an overnight bag over his arm. David was good looking, there was no denying that. Even his ‘I haven’t shaved in three days’ stubble just enhanced his features. The black suit and gold badge and gun resting at his hip completed the look.

“Hey David,” I said with a smile as I took a bite of my breakfast. “How are you?”

He grinned back at me and straightened the tie that was around his neck. “I’m fantastic. How are you?”

“I can’t complain.” I shrugged my shoulders slightly. “Heading to work?”

Detective David Bradley had made his way into our lives the year before. Maddie and I hadn’t known it, but David and Sydney had met one night while she was out clubbing. She’d brought him home and they’d shared an amazing night together, but after a misunderstanding they had gone their separate ways less than amicably. By coincidence, David ended up being the Detective assigned to Maddie’s case after she’d been sexually assaulted just a few weekends after he had met Sydney. It took Sydney and David nine months, but they had finally given in and were exploring their feelings for each other. Sydney Lewis had been the perpetual playgirl, never the same man in her bed, but David seemed to tame that part of her easily. Being the daughter of a wealthy CEO and his stuck up wife had caused Sydney to grow up with attachment issues, but when David was near she was a whole different person.

He pulled open the fridge and poured himself a glass of orange juice as he nodded. I thought it was adorable how comfortable he was becoming in our little apartment, especially since he and Sydney still hadn’t defined their relationship.

“Hopefully it will be an easy day.” He finished off his juice and rinsed the glass out before flashing me another smile. “I asked her to meet Claire tomorrow night, so she might be a bit freaked out for the rest of the day. Can you talk her off the ledge if necessary?”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Meeting the six-year-old daughter was a huge step for Sydney, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if she was hyperventilating at that very moment. Sydney had a phobia of committing and even labeling David as her boyfriend was difficult. Where a relationship just didn’t fit into my life, Sydney was scared shitless of them.

“I’ll do my best. You really like her don’t you?” I leaned against the counter and smiled at the handsome detective as he nodded.

“I am head over heels for her, Amanda. Hopefully this isn’t too much.” He dropped a kiss to my forehead before heading towards the door. “Have a good day.”

I waved at him as he left the apartment quietly and I thought about his words for a moment. David was in love with Sydney. I was pretty sure she was in love with him too, but getting her to admit and acknowledge it would be harder than sitting through the first
Twilight
movie without mocking it.

I adored David. My best friends couldn’t have chosen better men if they tried. I didn’t see Josh without Maddie much anymore, but I saw David most mornings after he would stay the night. He and I had developed a good little friendship and I would be very pleased to have him in our little rag-tag family.

I sighed as I walked back towards my bedroom to get ready to shower. I had just passed the bathroom door when my stomach rumbled and I halted my steps. I stared at the gray carpet on the floor as I tried to assess the stability of my abdomen. After a moment, I decided I was okay and resumed my movements. Three steps later I was turning around and darting into the hall bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before my breakfast made its reappearance.

My stomach heaved for a moment and I exhaled when it was done, letting my head rest on my forearm. I was sick of being sick and ready to kick the stupid stomach bug that I had. It had been almost a week of the same thing, and I was fairly certain I’d only kept two full meals down since. When I’d been at my mom’s house the day before, she had insisted that I see a doctor before the weekend. After an argument over whether or not they could treat the flu, I had ended up scheduling an appointment for later on this morning.

I had been under the hot water for almost twenty minutes when the outline of a figure appeared on the other side of the shower curtain.

“Hey.” Maddie’s voice floated through the steamy bathroom and I smiled.

“Hi. What are you doing here?” I reached over and shut off the water before pulling the curtain open to grab my towel.

I had known Maddie Thomas and her family since elementary school and she was more sister than friend. We’d seen each other at the best times and definitely at the worst, but she was by far the sweetest person I’d ever known. Linda, Matt, and Maddie all cared so deeply for people that it was almost unreal. It was hard to believe that Linda had raised them by herself since their father walked out when Maddie was two, but she had done an amazing job because the Thomas family was known for its kindness.

She leaned against bathroom counter dressed in white capris and a navy blue t-shirt. Her dark blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she definitely did not look like the elementary school teachers I remembered, but in just a few short weeks she’d be one officially, having just finished her degree in elementary education. Her blue eyes gleamed as she grinned at me.

“Hey now. I still live here, remember?”

I wrapped the towel around me before grabbing the second one to wrap my hair in and letting out a little laugh.

“Sure you do. I haven’t seen you in almost a week.” Maddie and Josh were getting married in September and they had started transitioning her to his house completely. Every week her room was boxed up a little bit more and I felt sad each time I peeked in there. Josh Richards was amazing, though, and I knew he’d end up being the perfect husband. He’d loved Maddie for years and, even though they had fallen out of touch for a short period, the love they shared now couldn’t be touched by anyone.

Maddie followed me into my bedroom and let out a huff of laughter as she sat on my bed.

“You’re one to talk. When I’m here, you’re gone.”

I pulled a pair of underwear out of my drawer before dropping my towel onto the cedar chest at the foot of my bed.

“I know,” I said with a sigh as I got dressed slowly, pulling on a pair of jean shorts and a green tank top. “I feel like an ass leaving Sydney alone so much, but mom does so much better when I’m home. Until I get her moved into a nursing home, I don’t have a better solution.”

“Whoa, Amanda.” Maddie frowned and shook her head at me. “I was kidding, honey. We both understand, trust me. It’s not a big deal. Besides, Sydney seems better with David around.”

I nodded in agreement as I pulled a brush through my hair. “She really is. What are you doing today?”

“Matt took the morning off and I’m going to help him pick out a couch.” Maddie picked up a magazine I had by my bed and started flipping through it. “Apparently his new girlfriend keeps bothering him about the hand-me-down one he has now.”

I froze with the brush still in my hair and I stared at Maddie for a moment as she turned the pages, unaware of my reaction.

I forced myself to unfreeze. The burn in my chest hurt but I ignored it as I relaxed my face.

“Matt has a girlfriend?”

Maddie tilted her head up to look at me and nodded slowly.

“For a couple of weeks now, I guess.” Her eyes scrutinized me and I managed to give her a neutral expression.

“Oh, good for him.” I walked out of the bedroom to blow dry my hair, and when I came back Maddie was reading the magazine again. She looked up when I walked in and tossed it to the foot of my bed.

“Want to go with us? He’s going to whine about it most of the time, so I’d love to have a real opinion.”

I shook my head. “Thanks, but I have a busy morning. Send me pictures, though. I want to see what you guys decide on.”

“Who’s deciding on what?” Sydney appeared in the doorway dressed in knee-length tan skirt, white blouse, with a light blue sweater over it. The brown heels she wore added almost four inches to her height, but she still wasn’t quite as tall as me. Her blonde hair didn’t go beyond her ears, but it was styled to make her look like a business woman instead of the party girl I knew she could be. She was volunteering at the hospital for the summer by doing some administrative duties. She couldn’t stand to be idle with nothing to do, and it was good for her to put that new business degree to use.

“Matty’s getting a new couch and I’m playing fashion police.” Maddie grinned at Sydney as she stood up. “You look so grown up, Syd.”

Sydney scoffed and ran her hands down her skirt. “I know. It’s weird. I actually have to go but I wanted to say ‘hi’ to my elusive roommates.”

I smiled at Sydney as I rolled my eyes. “I was going to say ‘hi’ when I came home last night, but the noises coming from your room told me I’d be interrupting something.”

Most people would have blushed, but Sydney just grinned proudly. “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not even a tiny bit.”

She gave us both quick hugs before she disappeared down the hall. I heard the front door open and she greeted someone before yelling out a ‘Bye!’ Soft footsteps sounded from the hallway and Matt appeared in my doorway with a smile on his face.

“Good morning, ladies.” He looked to me politely before fixing his stare on his sister. “Ready to go, Mad?”

I allowed myself a few seconds to look at him in his work clothes. His light gray button-up shirt fit him like a glove and went well with his black slacks. His hair had grown even more since our night in May and it was styled on his head in waves. Some days I couldn’t believe how alike he and Maddie looked. They could have been mistaken for twins if he hadn’t been seven inches taller than her five-foot-seven.

Maddie nodded as she stood and she flashed me a grin. “Love you. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Love you, too,” I said quietly and I gave them both a small smile. Matt didn’t smile back, but he let his eyes linger on me for a moment before following his little sister back towards the living room.

I heard them both speaking quietly, probably in conversation I wasn’t supposed to hear, so I stayed in my bedroom until they left. After I heard the front door shut I finally came out of hiding to put my sandals on and grab my purse.

I’d effectively killed our friendship that night when I guilted him into having sex with me. He had barely spoken twenty words to me since and it really hurt. I knew I deserved it, but that didn’t lessen the pain. I really wished I hadn’t slept with Matt.

---

“Amanda Franklin?”

The nurse called my name from the open door and I stood, following her back towards the exam rooms. After I’d been weighed, had my blood pressure taken, explained my symptoms, and been forced to pee in a cup, I sat in the sterile room by myself. I resisted the temptation to lay back on the exam table and take a nap and instead I glanced through Facebook on my phone. I only checked in every now and then, and so I was hesitant to bring up Matt’s page. When I did, I was sorry I had. There were a few pictures of him with a really pretty brunette, both of them smiling and touching in one way or another.

I swallowed loudly and locked my phone, tossing it into my purse before I could look again. I reminded myself that I wanted him to be happy and if she made him happy then I shouldn’t be sad. I rationalized with my inner idiot over and over until two swift knocks on the door startled me.

My doctor poked her head in and gave me a friendly smile. Her kind face was reassuring and I absolutely loved the way she was always in jeans and a t-shirt instead of a lab coat. Dr. Stanfield had been my doctor since I was a baby and I would probably see her until she retired.

“Hi Amanda.”

I smiled back and tugged on a piece of my hair nervously. “Hi Dr. S.”

“So you’ve been feeling crappy for almost a week, huh?” She glanced at the iPad she had in her hands and moved her fingers across it while reading the screen. “Any fever?”

“No,” I replied with a head shake. “But my body is tired and almost achy.”

“Dr. Fields did your last MRI in January, right?” She swiped on the tablet quickly, probably looking for the results that the neurologist had sent over.

Panic bubbled in my chest at her words. I thought I had the flu and now we were talking about my brain? I nodded in answer. “Mid-January. He said it was all clear then. Do you think…?”

“No, I don’t. I was just making sure we were all up to date on the information, Amanda. I found the results here. Your noggin looks great. Tell me about your nausea. How often are you sick?”

“Twice a day on average, I’d guess. Nothing stays down.” My stomach grumbled both hungrily and uneasily at the thought of food.

“When’s the first day of your last period?” She tore her eyes from her iPad and looked up at me curiously.

I opened my mouth to reply before shutting it quickly. I furrowed my eyebrows as I searched my mind for the date she was asking. I counted back and shook my head slightly.

“June… sometime in June, right?” I wasn’t really asking her and I thought about it. It’d been a busy few months, but I was sure I’d had my period recently. I thought about it for a little bit longer and my eyes widened in realization.

“Not since the very end of April.”

Dr. Stanfield smiled and glanced back at the tablet. “We have a positive pregnancy test here, Amanda. I’d say, based off your date there, you’re about eight or nine weeks pregnant.”

I shook my head rapidly and clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palm painfully. “I’ve only had sex once in the past year and he wore a condom.”

“Condoms aren’t one hundred percent effective, sweetheart.” The doctor’s tone was so sympathetic that I knew I must have looked really panicked. “They rip, they deteriorate, and they age. The older a condom, the less effective it becomes.”

“Right,” I whispered quietly as I stared at my toes peeking out of my sandals. I felt like an idiot. Why didn’t I take birth control like the rest of the girls in the world? I inhaled a deep breath, refusing to let myself cry. “Now what?”

“Well, now we refer you to an OBGYN and they will take care of you until the baby is born. You are very healthy, Amanda. I want to examine you just to be certain, but I’m pretty sure your pregnancy is to account for all of your current ailments. Morning sickness is common in the first trimester and the exhaustion will probably last your entire pregnancy.”

I didn’t reply and let her examine me as I sat numbly. Finally, she grabbed a light and looked in my ears, nose, and throat before giving me a satisfied nod.

“Everything looks great, Amanda. Do you have a gynecologist?”

I nodded. “I see Dr. Eaton at Sacramento Women’s Health.”

“Oh good,” Dr. Stanfield replied with a smile. “He’s a good doctor. I’ll have my nurse call them and let them know we’ve confirmed the pregnancy so we can set you up to see him. Ideally, he most likely would have wanted to see you by now, so he’ll probably want to see you soon.”

I didn’t reply but just nodded again, my eyes fixed back on my toes.

“Amanda.” Her voice was soft but demanding.

I brought my eyes up to meet the doctor’s and she gave me a tiny frown.

“Do you want this baby?”

What a loaded question. I didn’t ever want a baby. Why? So I could pass the Alzheimer’s gene on to it? Or maybe I could pass on whatever messed up gene that my dad had that caused cancer to eat his brain. I was supposed to be at Yale Law at this very moment working on my degree. Babies were never a part of that plan. But, then again, neither was my dad dying. Or my mom getting dementia.  I was going to be a lawyer, maybe even a politician. Now, I was going to be a mother.