Scars of the Heart (5 page)

“I thought we were finished with this conversation?”

Kade stared at the defiant set to the slender jaw, then stood and walked to his horse. From a saddlebag he pulled a faded red garment. After a moment’s hesitation, he tossed the cloth to Carl. The boy caught the offering and unfolded it. His green gaze rose in question.

“It’s a shirt. A clean one. I cut the bottoms off my old long johns. It’s not much but a sight better than what you’re wearing. I’m afraid it’s the best I can do for now.”

Carl studied the garment and then Kade. Finally his expression softened. He turned and started off through the woods.

“Where are you going?”

The boy seemed to search for an answer, then pointed toward the stream.

“I, uh, thought I’d clean up some.”

Kade reached back into the saddle bag and retrieved a small bar of lye. He pitched the soap to Carl. In his haste to catch it, the boy nearly dropped the shirt. With wide, round eyes, he spun and hurried through the trees.

“Use it sparingly. It’s all I have left,” Kade called after him.

Carly shivered as she shrugged the tattered garment from her back. Checking over her shoulder, she removed the old hat and hurried to the water’s edge. She sucked in puffs of air as the cool liquid splashed over her. She looked behind her again and wondered about crossing the creek, affording herself a better view of the trail.

But that would allow anyone on the trail a better view of her as well. She’d be smarter leaving her back to the path. The man knew she wanted to wash up. If she hurried, he wouldn’t have any reason to come after her.

She ripped a sleeve from the old shirt and rubbed it on the cake of soap until thin lather formed. Kneeling on a large, flat rock, Carly leaned over the rippling stream and bathed herself quickly. She longed to scrub the grime from her hair but couldn’t risk taking that much time. Without drying, she donned the red undershirt. Even though the large garment hung on her slender frame, the soft cotton material clung to her breasts as the other shirt hadn’t.

Damn!
What was she going to do? She couldn’t continue wearing the old shirt. Her keeper would want to know why, and she had no answer, especially since she’d just torn off one of the sleeves. Carly stared at the tattered garment lying on the ground. An idea formed.

Scanning the length of the pathway once more, she swiftly ripped the old material into strips, an easy task since Tiny’s quirt had started the job. Peeling off the new shirt, she wrapped the bands of cloth tightly around her chest, flattening her breasts. Carly tucked the end of the strip beneath the layers. She eyed her handiwork critically, then pulled the red garment back over her head. Holding her breath, she looked down at her torso.

It worked. With her breasts bound, she resembled a young boy. The shirt was large enough to hide the strips of cloth underneath. She almost laughed aloud with relief. After so much bad luck lately, it seemed things might actually be turning in her favor.

Grabbing the old hat, she hurried back to the campsite. A delicious aroma met her as she entered the clearing. With a large knife, the man cut a hunk of meat from the cooking rabbit and tossed it on a tin plate.

“Eat up if you’re going to. We need to get moving.”

Carly waited to see if he noticed anything about her appearance. The man barely gave her a second glance as he cut himself a chunk of the tender meat. He juggled it gently between his fingers, blowing on the morsel to cool it. After popping the bite in his mouth, he reached for the canteen, then pointed his long knife at her plate and a battered tin cup of water. They rested on the boulder she’d occupied earlier.

Her stomach rumbled loudly, urging her feet forward. She pushed the image of the skinned carcass from her mind as she reached for the plate. Tentatively, she lifted the steaming meat to her mouth. Taking a small bite, she braced herself.

It was delicious. Carly took another bite, chewing quickly, and then another. She looked up to see an amused expression on her keeper’s face. She didn’t care. She was so hungry, and the rabbit tasted so good, she didn’t care if he laughed out loud. After little more than a few stale biscuits and pieces of tough jerky during the past days, Carly readily accepted the second chunk of meat the man offered.

He sat across the small clearing from her on a fallen tree. She studied him from beneath her hat brim as they ate. She’d been right about his height. He was tall. Easily more than six feet, she guessed. Her gaze traveled up long legs and past solid thighs to narrow hips and waist then on to wide chest and shoulders. His clothing did little to hide his powerful, muscular body. Carly focused on his hands, large hands with long fingers. They tore strips of meat from the last remaining chunk and carried them to his mouth.

She watched him eat. His deeply tanned skin moved smoothly across his strong jaw as he chewed. Perfect rows of white teeth contrasted sharply as he took another bite. His hat sat back on his head, offering her a clear view of the man’s face. Jet-black hair flowed past his shoulders, bound with the rawhide strip. Brows of a matching hue slashed across a wide forehead. Thick lashes lay atop high cheekbones. Suddenly the lashes lifted to reveal dark eyes, eyes almost as black as the hair around them.

Carly sat hypnotized, unable to look away, even though she knew she should. “Uh, I, uh . . . what’s your name?” she blurted out. “I don’t know what to call you.”

“Kade.”

That was all he offered, and he continued to stare at her quizzically. A sudden noise in the trees behind her drew Carly’s attention.

“What was that?” She turned quickly to gaze into the woods.

Without a sound, Kade passed her, rifle in hand. Dropping to crouch on the ground behind the rock, she watched him disappear into the foliage. Carly strained to hear or see whatever had startled her. She held her breath and prayed for him to protect her.

An eternity passed before she heard a rustle of leaves. Carly clamped a hand over her mouth to keep from crying aloud when Kade, rather than the horrors she’d imagined, emerged from the trees.

“Must’ve been an animal.” He walked calmly to his horse and slipped the weapon back in its leather sheath.

She allowed herself a deep breath as she leaned back against the rock, shaking uncontrollably. “That doesn’t make me feel all that much better. I keep forgetting what awful creatures run wild out here.”

Unruffled, Kade kicked sand on the fire and gathered his belongings. “What ‘awful creatures’?”

“You know. Snakes, scorpions, Indians.” She noticed the way his shoulders stiffened. Slowly, he turned to face her. His lips were a thin line, his expression unreadable.

“Kade?” Suddenly, his expression changed. A lightning-quick movement of his arm drew Carly’s attention. Her deafening scream pierced the air as the cowboy’s razor-sharp knife sped, blade over hilt, toward her.

Eyes squeezed shut, she waited for death. For a split second, she even welcomed it. Death would rescue her from this life of hell. Death would reunite Carly with her beloved mother.

A sharp noise near her ear told Carly the man had missed his mark. The blade skimmed the top of the rock, sending small pebbles crumbling down her shoulder. She opened her eyes. While she stared at her crazed captor, her hands roamed her torso, confirming the lack of injuries. Lungs aching with a need for air, she carefully inhaled, afraid to move, afraid not to.

Kade stood stone-still, a look of irritation covering his dark features. He didn’t say a word. When he started forward, Carly scrambled to her feet. She willed her legs to run, yet they refused to move. Fear froze them to the earth below.

The man’s long strides gave her little time to think. He reached her before she could react. Carly closed her eyes once more, praying for a swift and merciful end.

She felt him brush past, but her mind was hesitant to accept another pardon from death. Gingerly she opened her eyes. The man walked a few feet beyond the boulder. He knelt in the brown grass to retrieve his knife, then pivoted and reached for something else. As Kade stood, he held out the long, slender body of a rattlesnake.

Carly’s knees quivered. She swallowed back the bile rising in her throat.

He moved toward her. “If you scream one more time, I swear I’ll . . .”

Kade didn’t finish the threat; there was no need. She didn’t have the strength to continue standing, let alone cry out. Her legs buckled, and she folded to the ground.

Rushing forward, he asked, “You’re not going to faint, are you?”

The six-foot serpent still hung limply from his hand. Carly stared at it and fought another wave of nausea. “Please,” she choked, “please get that thing away from me.”

He inspected the decapitated snake. “But this is some good eatin’, and I—”

Groaning, she rolled to her hands and knees. She scrambled to the other side of the large rock. Convulsions racked her small form as her stomach emptied its contents.

Carly sat up, still shaky and weak. She wiped her mouth with her palm, then rubbed her hand on the already filthy trousers she wore. Slowly, she raised her head to meet his gaze. He stared at her as if she had grown a third eye.

Without retracting his disbelieving expression, he tossed the rattler’s body to the bushes behind him. Finally, with a shake of his head, Kade turned and silently walked away.

She watched as he cleaned his knife and slid it into a leather scabbard hidden beneath his pant leg. He didn’t even glance at her again as he went back to the business of packing his horse. Carly rose unsteadily and found the canteen. The cool water on her face eased the nausea. She rinsed her mouth, then took small sips of the liquid. Pulling her hat down snugly, she focused on the stranger again.

He bewildered her. Just as uncivilized and brutish as the other men she’d been forced to keep company with, he seemed somehow different. Carly shook her head.
It’s simply because he thinks you’re a boy,
she reminded herself.
And if you want to live long enough to get home to Virginia, you had better do a finer job of keeping your wits about you.

She glanced around to see what else needed to be done before they departed. Kade had everything cleaned up and stood adjusting the saddle straps on the black. “I, uh, I’ll get some more water.” Carly waited for a response, but he offered none. She hurried to fill the canteen and return to the clearing.

The cowboy had already mounted. Carly took a deep breath and scurried toward him. Dreading the thought of yet again being imprisoned in a man’s arms, she ventured, “I’ll ride behind today, if you don’t mind?” Her companion merely moved forward in the saddle, and she approached his right.

“Other side,” he growled.

Carly wondered what difference it made but started around the back of the horse. Remembering her father’s warning, she stopped and skirted the animal’s front end, peeking timidly at the man looming large in the saddle. He stared straight ahead, hands resting on the horn. She placed her foot in the stirrup and accepted the arm he offered. With little effort, the cowboy lifted her to the perch behind him and urged the stallion to a fast gait.

Silence settled around them uncomfortably. Carly could see the rigid set to his jaw. What did he expect her to do? Thank him for scaring ten years off her life?

“I told you there were snakes.” She said, stiffening her back in challenge.

“That was his sunning rock.”

Kade’s voice sounded cold and flat. “What?” She peered up at his profile.

“Snakes like to lay in the morning sun. It warms them after sleeping all night in a hole in the ground. That was his sunning rock. You invaded his territory—just remember that. He didn’t come looking for you.”

Carly considered Kade’s explanation. He made it sound so innocent, like the godforsaken snake was actually the victim here.

She took a deep breath and remembered that she needed this man, at least until they reached Marshall. “I guess I owe you an apology . . . and my thanks. You saved my life twice now.” The man didn’t speak, didn’t even blink as he continued to guide the large horse across the terrain.

She shifted in the saddle. “I don’t like being indebted to anyone. I’ll try to do more to pull my weight and—”

Suddenly, Kade reined the black to a stop and turned in the saddle to better see his companion. “I don’t want you to do more. I want you to do less . . . less screaming, less fainting, and, if you can help it, less puking.”

He stared at her fiercely. Panic paralyzed Carly’s throat. She couldn’t respond, couldn’t even breathe.

“Especially that screaming. I simply can’t tolerate it.” Swiveling on his seat to face forward once more, he spurred the horse into motion. “I swear, you act like a goddamned woman or something.”

The morning sun floated above the horizon like a huge orange ball. A cloudless, blue canopy stretched above them, and birds of various sizes and colors flitted from tree to tree. Carly began to relax a little, breathing with the steady gait of the horse and listening to the birds’ happy songs.

Kade remained quiet and stoic. She admonished herself for her carelessness. He’d hit too close to home with his last comment. She had to be more cautious. If he found out she was a woman . . . She shuddered as memories of Tiny and the Indian flooded her mind.

Peering back over his shoulder, Kade pulled the black to a halt. She looked around. “Why are we stopping?”

“Figure we both need a little break. We’ve been in the saddle for a while.”

Carly fumbled awkwardly trying to dismount. She hesitated to reach around him and grab the saddle horn. With an exasperated sigh, he offered her the crook of his elbow, and she slid from the rump of the horse. The cowboy swung his long leg over to land gracefully on the ground. He stretched languidly, then started to unbuckle his belt.

“What are you doing?” Carly asked, panic making her voice a tight squeak.

“What do you mean,
what am I doing
?”

His dark brows drew together as she continued to stare openmouthed at the man’s loosening britches.