Scattering Like Light (17 page)

“How can you be sure of that then? That it comes to all of you?”

“Because I asked Catherine, and she has it too, but she refused to help me,” Veronica answered eventually, looking out of the window. “I was so excited when, a month or so ago, I saw that police report about a girl who had been pulled out of the river but who had no memories, and I knew that the time had finally come. As I said, I went to the hospital and confronted Catherine. She absolutely refused to help. In fact, I’ve rarely seen someone angrier with life. She clearly thought that draining someone of their memories would kill her, and she was horrified to find that it actually propelled her back into life. I tried to get her to see sense,
that none of the Dirges deserved the existence that they have, but she wasn’t to be swayed. She refused to tell me where I could find the amulet so I was back to square one again until I caught the glimpse of the amulet on your arm in the cathedral.”

“So let me get this straight,” I said as it all slowly sank in. “You and Catherine both knew – just knew, as if by magic – that if you could find the amulet you could release all the Dirges?” She nodded. “And knowing this, Catherine still stole the amulet from me to try to sell it?”

Veronica nodded. “She’s really not nice, that girl.”

“And you knew all this time.” I sat back and folded my arms, exasperated. “Why did you leave it so long?”

“I know, that was … stupid of me, I admit. I just didn’t want to frighten you with my plan until I was sure that you would see my point of view. You seem pretty balanced, and I can’t imagine that you will sit idly by and let them continue suffering.”

“You knew all this when you first stopped me in the cathedral, but you didn’t say a word.”

“I know, and that really horrifies me now; we could have prevented so much anguish.” She was pressing her hands together as if in prayer. “And then the next time – well, by then it had already gone.”

I was still taking in that I hadn’t been alone, that there had been someone who would have understood. I stared down at my cup, shaking my head as she continued.

“What can I say? I was wrong, and I knew it as soon as I saw you again. That next time you went up to the top of the dome, when you couldn’t find Callum, were you going to jump? That’s what the wardens thought, and that was why I wanted to talk to you. But of course by then you had lost the amulet so there was no
point in discussing my plan. You looked so lost, so forlorn. I longed to tell you what I knew; that you weren’t the only one who missed them, but I had to wait, and hope that you would do all you could to get it back. You looked like a capable girl, and certainly one with a lot of passion. I was sure that you would be able to get it back from whoever had taken it from you.”

“Why not just tell me? Why give me the cloak-and-dagger clues?” I finally asked, dumbfounded.

“It worked though, didn’t it? It wasn’t long before you were calling me.”

“But in the meantime the amulet had nearly been lost.”

“Look,” she said, grabbing my hands and holding them tight. “I’m sorry, I made mistakes, and it was only because of your resourcefulness that you saved the day. And now I’m begging for your help. We can free the Dirges from their constant misery, using your amulet, and we can do it right now. But if you won’t even consider that, you’ll have to find Catherine. She’s the only one who can bring them back to life.”

“Why? What is it that Catherine can do that you can’t?”

“I’m old, Alex. I’ve been here a long time, and I don’t have the energy and the power that I had when I first returned. I’m worn out. I can still help you to release them, but only someone newly resurrected can make them live again. If you get Catherine to help, and help soon, they’ll all have a second chance at life, whether they want it or not. All I can offer them is eternal peace.”

I pulled my hands away and sat back in my seat, then took a few sips of cold coffee while I considered this new information.

“What would I have to do, whichever way we do it? How will it work?”

Veronica looked suddenly animated, sitting up straight,
her aura flashing bright yellow. She reached over and stroked the amulet reverently. “The key to everything is this, as you know, and we need to harness its power; we need to sort out our plans and—” Glancing up at my face she suddenly stopped. “Oh, Alex, I’m so sorry, you look distraught. This isn’t easy for you, is it?”

I shook my head slowly, appalled at the thought that I was going to have to ask Catherine for help, but at the same time relieved that there was someone else involved, even if it was a slightly flaky ex-vicar.

“Shall I get some more drinks? Give you a few minutes?”

“Thanks,” I said. “There’s a lot to think about.”

“Of course. I won’t be long.”

I watched her walk away in a daze. I still couldn’t believe that she had been the one lurking outside my house throwing golf balls. She absolutely didn’t look the type. She must have been well into her sixties, with greying hair cut into a severe bob. She wore no make-up, and her clothes were functional rather than fashionable. She looked like someone’s grandma.

There was so much information to take in, so much that I didn’t really understand. What were the implications of some of the things she had told me? She’d kept her personality when she had stolen Daniel’s mind, but had been affected by his thoughts. Would that mean that the same would happen to Catherine? Over time, would she turn into a nicer person because of my memories? And would it be straightforward to get her to return to London or would I have no choice but to put Veronica’s other plan into action? There was only one way to find out.

I rubbed my thumbs under my eyebrows, trying to relieve the headache that was starting to throb just above my eyes. Even though it was going to be a nightmare, I had to find Catherine.

I sat with Veronica for another half an hour, listening to her talk about releasing Dirges, but my mind was elsewhere. There was no way that I was going to do it if it meant that I had to kill them all horribly; I wasn’t going to have that on my conscience. I needed to work out how on earth I was going to find Catherine.

As we parted she extracted a promise from me that I wouldn’t say a word to the Dirges just yet. I could see her point: it was their very existence we were talking about and I didn’t want to mislead them about what I was going to be able to do. It was best to say nothing until I knew if there was a chance that Catherine might help.

It was difficult not to discuss it with Callum when he came over briefly later in the evening, but I managed it. There were a few occasions when he looked at me oddly but I carried on and he asked no questions. I didn’t feel good about it though.

The next morning I wasn’t up until late morning. Mum and Dad had gone to work and Josh was still sound asleep when I let myself out for a walk to try and clear my head.

I was on my way back when I was almost knocked off my feet by a large chocolate-brown Labrador puppy jumping up at me.

“Hello, Beesley!” I said, rubbing his ears as he enthusiastically tried to nibble my belt. “You’ve grown while I’ve been on holiday.
You’re quite the big dog now.” His tail whipped back and forth, tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth. “What have you done with Lynda?”

I looked around. The puppy seemed to be on his own so I took a firm hold of his collar and walked with him back to his house. It looked deserted. Lynda’s car was missing and there was no answer at the door. I walked around towards the side gate. It was firmly locked but the bottom of it was a chewed mess of splinters. Beesley had obviously been working on his escape plan all morning.

“What am I going to do with you, you daft dog? You can’t go back in there, can you? Home with me, I guess then.” His soft brown eyes twinkled. This was clearly what he had in mind. Shaking my head I took a firmer grip on his collar and went home.

Josh was awake, eating a sandwich and reading the paper. He raised his eyebrows as Beesley burst into the kitchen.

“Hello. You’ve been out dog hunting, have you?”

“Ha! Collecting waifs and strays actually. I found him on the road. He’s escaped from his back garden.”

As Josh and I discussed how to get hold of Lynda, Beesley was wreaking havoc in the kitchen, pulling over the bin, then jumping up to put his front paws on the table to steal a piece of bread which he then chewed up messily, leaving wet crumbs all over the floor.

“It’s no good, I’m going to have to take him for a walk, just to wear him out. If I hang on to him, could you find me a bit of rope to use as a lead?”

Josh grunted in agreement, reviewing the remains of his lunch, and quickly returned with some old rope. It seemed tough enough so I tied one end to his collar and made a loop at the other
end, which I could put over my wrist. Making sure I had my earphones with me I let Beesley drag me out of the house.

I struggled to keep Beesley to heel as I put the earphones in. He had got much stronger and much, much harder to control. Tugging hard, I finally got him close to me and looped the rope around my hand.

“Callum?” I panted, already out of breath. “Hi, I’m back. I seem to have got the dog for the day, so why don’t you bring Olivia over?”

By the time I made it to the little field with the swings the tingle was in my wrist. “Hi, gorgeous,” he greeted me, his honeyed tones making me melt as usual. “You look like you’re struggling there!”

“Oh don’t. He’s been a nightmare. He escaped from home so I don’t know quite how long I’m going to have him for. Is Olivia with you?”

“Yup, she heard the word dog and was almost here ahead of me. Look.” He couldn’t point so I quickly scanned around to see if I could spot what he was talking about. I didn’t have to look far. Beesley had suddenly sat down, a soppy look on his face, his nose moving from side to side as if he was following an invisible fly.

“Well, she can come again!” I laughed. “Instant obedience! I can’t believe that she’s got him so well controlled.”

“She’s been here every day while you’ve been away, playing with Beesley in his back garden. He adores her.”

I had introduced Olivia to Beesley a few weeks earlier, and the two of them had immediately hit it off. Before I had gone away on holiday she had come with me on several walks with the puppy and I had got to know her quite well. Callum loved her like a sister and was terribly protective of her. I knew he was delighted that
the two of us got on so well, but he was always warning her to be careful. Too much fun with the dog during the day meant that she had to do a lot more gathering of happy thoughts and memories to keep her amulet full, and that wasn’t always easy.

“How’s that worked out?” I asked Callum softly. “Is she getting better at doing her own gathering?”

“Yeah, it’s been good for her. A bit of responsibility and focus seem to have helped. Much like they’ve helped me, I guess!” I felt the whisper of his lips brush my cheek. “Now, you and I need to talk. Matthew was keen to join us today but I’ve put him off until, well, we get it all sorted.”

I sighed. Why was it all so complicated? “Sure. Let me just tie up Beesley and then I can get out the mirror.”

I walked to the bench in the furthest corner of the field, one near the small ford across the stream, dragging Beesley in my wake. I tied my end of the makeshift lead to the iron leg and let him go. The rope only just allowed him to reach the water, but I could see that he and Olivia were enjoying themselves, splashing around in the shallows.

Getting the mirror out of my pocket I angled it so that I could see Callum’s face. He was watching Olivia, seeing her run and skip and laugh with the dog, and I could see the love and tenderness that he felt for her reflected there.

“I can’t do it,” I said softly. “I can’t torture her to death, Callum, any more than I can torture you. Please don’t ask me again.”

He dragged his gaze away and his eyes met mine in the mirror. The pain on his face was evident. “I know it’s cruel to ask but it’s worse for her to have to stay. You can see that, can’t you?”

I shrugged, not wanting to answer. I really wanted to tell
him that there was a possibility, a chance that we could save them all, but Veronica was right. Knowing that they could be saved but that it depended on the malicious whim of his sister wasn’t worth discussing. She was bound to disappoint them. As I watched him and stole the odd glance at Olivia too, I knew what I had to do. I had to use all my powers of persuasion to bring Catherine back and get her to help. And if that failed, if that last hope was taken away, only then would I do as Matthew asked. In the meantime, though, there was a way to tell him half the story. I carefully worked out what I was going to say as we watched the dog in silence for a while, Callum’s arms folded around me, his free hand gently stroking my arm. Every so often Beesley would come running back with a stick, which he dropped at my feet expectantly, waiting for me to throw it towards Olivia. He was easily pleased.

“You know,” I ventured after about the tenth throw, “I think I should see if I could track down Catherine.”

“Really? Why would you want to do that?”