Scent of the Heart (8 page)

“Good morning,” Sev groaned as he stretched. His chest muscles flexed, which drew Casey’s attention. The same chest he’d touched so lovingly last night now made him ill. He needed Sev to leave. Casey’s mind neared panic, but he worked hard to stay calm.

“Hi, how are you?” It was a lame comment, and Casey could hardly bear to look at Sev.

“I slept well. I hope we didn’t miss my brother. He was anxious to see you.”

“I don’t think he showed up. Pretty sure we would have heard him. So listen, I have a lot to do this morning, and I need to get to it.”

Sev’s lower lip pushed out slightly, and Casey’s stomach twisted. He was an ass. He wanted to scoop the man up and tell him he was wrong, that everything was fine, but when Sev stood, and Casey saw his morning erection, the jolt of panic shot through him again.

“Okay. Can I see you later?” There was such hope in Sev’s voice.

“I’ve got several projects I need to work on this week. Would it be okay if I stopped over to see you when I had time?”

Sev’s expression fell, then brightened. “Of course. I’ll be around if you need me.”

“That sounds…good.”

Casey stiffened when Sev kissed him good-bye, quickly stepping back. “So I’ll see you,” he murmured.

When the door closed, Casey sat on the small hand-carved bench, cupped his face in his hands, and wondered what the hell he would do now.

***

It was a glorious day, and Sev’s spirits soared. He wanted to sing. To let everyone know he was in love. There was a nip in the air, but it didn’t bother him at all. In fact, he reveled in it. He was in the only home he’d ever wanted to be in, filled with people who were more than just a community. They were getting through their problems for the most part, even though they’d hit a rough patch. And, of course, he had his mate. Even though he hadn’t been able to see Casey for a few days, the thought of the man warmed him. Never in his life had he been so happy.

“Sev!”

Hearing his brother’s voice, Sev turned and greeted him with a smile. “Good morning, Mikhail.”

Mikhail threw his arms around Sev’s waist, which startled Sev. His brother had recently declared his hatred of the family, but after the incident in the woods with Casey, he had been quite a different young man. He wrapped his arms around his brother’s shoulders and hugged him close.

“Where have you been, little brother? I haven’t seen you much.”

“I went to Mrs. Havanec and apologized for my behavior. She didn’t seem certain I was sincere, but she is allowing me to see Tiam once again.”

“What changed?”

Mikhail shifted his eyes down. “He’s my best friend. When I talked about leaving the enclave, I wanted him to go with me, as Casey did with our Protector. I knew if I went alone, I would become lonesome without you and Vadim. Except Tiam didn’t want to go. He said he’s content here, that despite the things Kell told us, he preferred our way of life.”

“And you?”

“I’m not sure. I enjoy the enclave, but the world outside is so large, and I would like to see it. Does that make me a bad brother?”

Sev laughed. “No, of course not. I’ll let you in on a secret.” He got closer to Mikhail and whispered in his ear, “I, too, am curious. Perhaps if our Alpha allows it, Casey could show us a city one day. You’ll soon be old enough to decide what you’d like to do, and you would have my blessing, whichever path you take.”

Mikhail’s eyes widened, and he hurled himself at Sev again, grabbing him in a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you.”

“You’re my brother and I want nothing more than to see you happy. What else can I do?”

***

Casey hurried to the Alpha’s quarters with his herb bag when he was told Jake needed to see him. One of the servants ushered him in immediately. He still marveled over the fact that his friends had servants. Zak had been appalled when he found out, but as he discovered that the people
wanted
to be there, he grudgingly learned to accept the custom. He never asked for much, and sometimes the servants seemed uncertain what to do, as they were used to having the direction.

Still, they were happy. Elizar had treated them horribly, having no problem with sending them to fight in the pit for any infraction, real or imagined. Now, with Zak in charge, they actually smiled and greeted people while looking them in the eye.

Casey found Jake seated at the long meeting table, a sly smile on his face. He gestured for Casey to sit. The chair was quite comfortable, much like all the furniture made in the enclave.

After he was seated, Jake pushed a small package across the table, wrapped in a pretty parchment. Casey guessed Jake must have spoken with Leander, who created his own paper. He cautiously took the package from Jake, noting the fact his friend was trying hard to keep a straight face.

“What is it?” Casey asked, wary of anything that Jake gave him.

“A mating gift. It’s not every day that my best friend finds himself someone to have in his life.”

“Who told you?” Casey asked, unable to meet Jake’s eyes. He continued to examine the small brown item he held in his hands.

“It’s a small place. Word gets around. Open it,” Jake prodded.

Trembling fingers worked on the jute tie. When he got the wrap off, making sure to save the paper to give back to Leander, Casey found a small, brightly colored clay pot. It seemed most familiar to him.

“Isn’t this the one I gave you for Zak’s—”

Jake howled with laughter. “We thought you might be able to use that.”

“It’s not funny,” Casey growled.

"You know, I always thought you had that lustful look when we were in the showers."

"Don't
ever
say that," Casey snapped, glancing around.

"Yeah, and back at school when you said you didn't want to live with me, I assumed it was because you needed space. Now I have to wonder if it really had something to do with Connor. Did he keep you
up
at night?"

Casey threw the container at Jake, who plucked it from the air.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jake asked hotly, finally catching on to Casey’s irritation.

“This is all some big joke to you, isn’t it? I’m
not
gay.”

“You’re mated to a man. What do you think that makes you?”

Forcing himself not to take the bait, Casey bit his tongue.

“You’re serious, aren’t you? Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

Casey lifted his shoulders. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at me. Sev told me he loved me.”

“And that’s bad because?”

“I couldn’t say it back.”

“And again, that’s bad because?”

“I don’t want to be gay.”

Jake wrapped an arm around Casey’s shoulder. “Gay, bi, hell, gay for you. What difference does it make? If you love someone, shouldn’t that be all that matters?”

“I saw in my dreams that we’re still together years into the future. I know that I only see possible futures, because the threads of fate aren’t woven as much as stitched, and one pluck can unravel the whole thing. But I saw it and I longed for that. I don’t understand it at all.”

“You longed to be with your mate for a full life? Yes, that must be awful. Most people never find that someone who completes them, Casey. If you walk around the enclave, you’ll find people who are happy with the one they love, but in their heart, it won’t ever be the same. They still ache for their mate, say prayers to the spirits to find them. Your mate is here, with you. He loves you. What’s wrong with that?”

“Because it’s too fast. Because he’s a guy. Because…I think I love him, too, and I’m afraid to say it.”

“When I first laid eyes on Zak, there was a spark that hit me right in the heart. I didn’t know why, but I knew I wanted him. You know how I was when I caught a whiff of his scent. He was mine that day, even if I wasn’t aware of it yet. Why do you need to put a label on it? You’re in paradise, Case. No one here cares who you’re with. All forms of love are treated equally. So why are you stressing?”

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “I’m going to be twenty-two in a few months. Am I ready for a permanent relationship? What if I decide I want to be with a girl instead?”

“It doesn’t work like that. If you complete the mating with Sev, he will be the only one you want.”

Casey moaned pitifully. “What if I find a girl first, then we could form a triad relationship, right?”

Jake stroked his chin. He’d grown a beard since they’d gotten to the enclave. It made him look rugged and, if possible, more dangerous. Casey might have been a bit jealous since he could go more than a week without shaving and only look scruffy. “I suppose that could happen. But is that what you want? To know that your mate will be first in your heart, and yet you’re trying to pretend he isn’t?”

“No, I don’t want to hurt him. But…” Casey’s voice trailed off.

“What? You can talk to me about anything, you know.”

“I’m not ready. I can’t even think about doing…stuff with him.”

“You’re freaked out about it, aren’t you?”

Casey nodded. “What if he wants to… God, I can’t even say it.”

“Make love to his mate?”

The tips of Casey’s ears burned, so he assumed he was blushing hard.

“What if he does? Sex is amazing. It brought Zak and I closer than ever before. Doing it with your mate isn’t a bad thing. It’s beautiful and glorious.”

“Has Zak ever…?”

“You are so cute when you blush, you know. Not that it matters, but no he hasn’t.”

“Then how can you say—”

“I said he hadn’t, not that I wouldn’t. If Zak wanted me to, I’d let him throw me on the table and take me in front of the staff. It was his choice not to, and I respect that. Who knows? Maybe you’ll try it and you’ll like it so much that you won’t want to do it to Sev at all.”

“But I’m not a girl.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Casey regretted them. It was too late to take them back, and he could see Jake’s anger plainly.

“Are you saying Zak is a woman? Or would I be a woman if Zak screwed me? I can’t believe you said that. You’ve always been one of the most open-minded people I’ve known, and now you’re going to sit here, in my home, and spout that bullshit? I’m only going to give you one chance to make this right, Case. What’s on your mind?”

“My dad hated you. He said you were weak, because you were gay. If it wasn’t for the fact your folks had money, he wouldn’t have had anything to do with them. He used to say such venomous things—”

“Like you just did?” Jake asked, a deadly serious tone in his voice. “My guardians practically raised you. You lived more at my house than you did at home. Do you really care what that bigot thought?”

Panic bubbled inside Casey. The words weren’t coming out like he meant them. He could sense Jake’s sadness was mixed with anger.

“He was…is my dad.”

“Who you haven’t seen for six months. Do you want to go home? Is that what this is about? I’m sure we can get you back to your family.”

Casey sneered at him. “This
is
my family.”

“Then damn well act like it. I don’t have time to coddle you. Zak thinks something is wrong, and I agree with him. I can taste it on the winds. If you’re not going to help, you’re going to be a distraction we can’t afford.”

The hard edge to Jake’s voice cut through Casey. “What are you saying?”

“Face your demons or go home. It’s as simple as that. I’m going to ask you to leave my house now. I don’t think I want to be around you today.”

Numbness slashed through Casey. In all the years they’d been friends, he had never known Jake to be this angry, and it was worse because it was his fault. When Jake pushed away from the table and stalked out the door, Casey had to force himself not to trail after his best friend to beg his forgiveness. He got up, ignoring the gazes of the servants, and ambled toward home.

***

Nearly a week had passed, and Sev slowly slipped back into his sadness. His mate seemed determined not to speak with him. Sev couldn’t figure out what he’d done wrong. He thought they had gotten along, and that Casey understood what being a mate meant. Now he wasn’t so certain.

He’d seen Casey in his garden plucking herbs. He seemed to be muttering to himself. Sev approached the gate and waited, hoping Casey would notice him. When he finally turned and saw Sev, he quickly looked away.

“Hey, Sev. Sorry I haven’t been around. It’s been a really busy time for me.”

“Have I done something, Casey?”

“What? No, of course not. Why would you think that? I’m just really busy.”

“Very well. I’m sorry if I’ve bothered you.”

He spun from the gate, praying Casey would speak up and call him back, but when the words went unspoken, Sev opted to go home.

His brothers were cleaning out the hut, seeing as how the temperature was actually mild. Mikhail glanced up and smiled, then his face fell.

“Sev? What’s wrong?”

Sev wiped a hand over his eyes, not wanting to upset his brothers. “Nothing. Probably just the dust. How about if I help you?”

He grabbed a broom and began to sweep the dusty wooden floor.

Mikhail turned to Vadim. “Can you go see if Mrs. Havanec will allow you to trade weeding her garden for a jar of fish? Tell her I will be over first thing if she’ll agree.”

Sev laughed as his youngest brother took off quickly. Vadim enjoyed Mrs. Havanec’s fish as much as Sev did.

“What happened?”

“I told you, nothing. Why? What do you think happened?”

“I think he broke your heart.” Sev tried to laugh it off, but Mikhail picked up on the hitch in his breath. “He did. I would be honored to duel him.”

Sev waved his hands. “Oh, no. Not necessary. This is something Casey has to figure out on his own. And you know dueling went out with Elizar.”

“Well, sometimes even bad people might make up a good rule. I don’t like to see you hurting. Can you tell me what happened?”

“I wish I knew. I spent the night with him last week, and I thought everything was okay. I even told him…” Sev couldn’t finish the sentence.

“That you love him,” Mikhail ground out.

Sev was afraid to speak, so simply nodded.