Schism (23 page)

Andy approached and offered Katie her pinky finger. The infant happily gripped it with her whole hand and squealed, making them laugh. When her smile faded, Andy’s face turned serious. “Why did Ben insist on going after me?”

“Because he’s in love with you,” Morgan replied quickly as though she were finally ready to rid her mind of the secret.

But Andy shook her head in denial, and laughed at her friend’s ridiculous suggestion. “No…no, he’s not. Why would…?”

“Why would he love you? Bloody hell, Andy…you’re beautiful, smart, compassionate…”

“Has he said anything?”

“He doesn’t need to. But it’s pretty obvious from how he acts around you and looks at you. Even Charlie sees it, and my brother isn’t exactly perceptive when it comes to this sort of thing. I mean, Susan had to practically snog him before he got the hint.”

Andy gently retrieved her pinky from Katie and took a step backwards. Stubbornly, she placed her hands on her hips. “I think you’re just imagining it. He would’ve said something by now.”

“No, he wouldn’t. Look at how long he kept everything about his sister a secret. He’s not going to say anything.”

“Well,
I’m
not going to say anything.”

“Why? You don’t feel that way about him?”

Andy quickly turned away and headed back to the window. “It doesn’t matter how I feel because I think you’re wrong. He’s just a friend and he won’t ever be anything more.”

With a heavy sigh, Morgan gave up the argument. “Whatever you say.”

***

“All of you are still coming over for dinner, right?” Maria asked Andy as she finished dicing an avocado.

“Yeah, I think so. Ben and Brian are hunting, but they should be back in time.”

“I can’t believe those guys were really looking for Ben and Jim…and so far away. Makes me worried how many more are out there looking for them.”

“I know. Now we have to leave again.”

Maria paused for a moment, then asked, “When will that be?”

“Not sure, but probably not for a few days. The biggest problem is that we’re out of gas.”

Maria began cutting a second avocado in half and scooping out the soft insides of the fruit. “How much do you need?”

Andy rapped her fingers on the counter. “As much as we can get, fifty gallons, maybe? It depends if we take one car or two.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

During all the months spent in Santa Rosa, the mystery of how Maria managed to acquire such valuable commodities had remained a secret, but no one ever pressed her about the issue.

“Are you still sticking with your eighteen-month timeline?” Andy asked, avoiding details.

Maria frowned. She was now smashing the avocado into a pulp. “I don’t know. Things aren’t going too well back home, and I’m starting to lose hope.”

“So why don’t you come with us?”

“And go where? You don’t even know where you’re going.”

“I know, but we could use you, and I know that no matter where we go, we’ll need all the help we can get.”

“Sounds like you’re going into battle or something.”

Andy smiled as she stared absently at the surface of the kitchen table. “You know, I keep wondering what we’re doing here every day. I mean, we get up every morning, we find food to eat, we take baths in the lake, we find wood to burn, and then we go to bed. Then we do it all again the next morning. And that’s it.”

“So? You want something more meaningful in your life?” Maria asked with a hint of admonishment. “You’re also forgetting that you’re safe with your friends, and you’re helping Morgan raise her child. Isn’t that enough?”

“Honestly, it’s not. Not for me. Not when I know how things could be.”

“Like in Aspen?”

“Like the world. There’s all this knowledge of science and technology out there to be learned and be used again. But we’re not.”

“I see your point, but it was science that created the virus in the first place.”

“I know, but it was a mistake. Humans make mistakes.”

“A pretty big mistake.”

“I know.” Andy rubbed her temples. “I guess I’m just…restless.”

Maria put down her knife and looked at Andy, her eyes narrowing. “What are you really saying?”

“I’m saying that I need to do…
something
. Something important. Like…” The words came out at once. “Like destroying whatever’s left of the virus. Finishing what Ben and Jim tried to do.”

Maria absorbed the words. “That would mean going to New York.”

“If that’s where the virus is, then that’s where we need to go.”

“What if those two guys were lying? They lied about who they were, so they could’ve been lying about everything else.”

“But what if they were telling the truth? Should we just ignore the possibility? We all know how deadly the virus is, and if there’s any truth to their story, then all of us are in danger.”

“It seems like a long way to go just to prove those two liars weren’t lying about everything. Plus after what we heard last night, New York sounds like the last place I would want to be.”

“Well, victories aren’t won in paradise.”

“Very poetic,” quipped Maria.

Neither spoke for a moment as Maria folded a diced tomato into the avocado mixture. Then she said, “I doubt you’ll convince Ben or Jim to go back to New York.”

“It
would
be the last place that anyone would look for them.”

“Maybe.” A smiled formed on Maria’s face, and then she looked at Andy with a curious expression. “Maybe this will work.” Moving away from the counter, she opened a cabinet drawer on the other side of the kitchen and retrieved a bottle of wine. She handed it to Andy, who took it tentatively.

“What’s this for?”

“Nothing. Just something I thought you might enjoy…when you talk to Ben about your plan, you should share this with him. He might be more willing to listen.”

“Are you trying to get us drunk or something?”

Maria laughed. “It’ll take more than that to get you both drunk, though I’m sure Ben
would
love
to get you drunk.”

Andy rolled her eyes. “God, not you too. You’re all imagining something that’s not there.”

Trying hard not to smile, Maria held her hands up as though denying an ulterior motive. “Well, as my
abuelita
used to say, ‘a little alcohol makes everything easier.’”

***

“You’re insane. I’m not going back.”

Ben and Andy were sitting alone on the curb in front of Maria’s house. Her first attempt was unsuccessful, even after begging him to listen to his conscience.

“My conscience is clear. Jim and I did our best to destroy the virus. If Sean still has it, which we don’t even know for sure, then there’s really nothing we can do. Someone else can try to stop him, but I’m done with it all.”

“You don’t really mean that, do you?” she implored. “Ben, I saw you last night. I’ve never seen you so upset when you found out it hadn’t been destroyed.”

“That was before I overheard those guys talking about taking Jim and me back to New York. As far as I’m concerned, everything else they told us was a lie.” His eyes narrowed. “Why are you so eager to go?”

“I don’t know…I can’t explain it,” she said and abruptly rose off the curb. “Wait here, I need to get something.”

Minutes later, Andy emerged from her house with the bottle of wine in her hand and a rusty corkscrew in her back pocket. Even in the waning daylight, Ben could clearly see what she was carrying.

“I wouldn’t have taken you for a drinker,” he teased.

“Time to find out what the big deal is.”

“You’ve never drank before?”

Andy smiled sheepishly. “Not really. Just at a couple of weddings when I was a kid. Some champagne…that sort of thing. Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

Ben hesitated before rising to his feet. “Where’re we going?”

“Nowhere in particular.”

He extended his hand for the bottle and took a glance at the label. “Cabernet Sauvignon. California. 2014.” He handed the bottle back to her as they walked down the street. “I’m sure it’ll be good.”

“Have you ever had a drink…oh!” She stopped dead in her tracks and palmed her mouth with her hand.

“What?”

Frozen with shame and embarrassment, she shook her head and muttered, “I totally forgot…”

“Forgot what?”

“Uh, yesterday, Jim told us that after…after Karen died, you…Ben, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking…”

He put up a hand to stop her. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago.”

“I’ll go put it back.”

“No, don’t. It’s fine. I’m not in danger of becoming an alcoholic, if that’s what you’re worried about. Even if I was, it’s not like I can just go to the local liquor store.”

“I wasn’t worried about that, but…are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I admit it was bad after Karen died, but it’s been almost two years.”

Still uncertain, Andy shrugged tentatively.

They reached a small park near their neighborhood. There was a playground in the center, and they sat next to each other on the swings.

Andy opened the wine and threw the cork aside. “Sorry, I didn’t bring glasses,” she said.

“No worries, I don’t mind swapping spit with you.”

“Very funny.”

She took a healthy swig from the bottle and handed it to him. “You were right,” she said after swallowing. “It’s not bad. Not that I could tell if it was.”

Ben took a long sip from the bottle. After finishing, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and nodded in agreement. “Pretty good.”

They drank half the bottle before any meaningful conversation began. Andy’s thin frame, meager diet, and inexperience with alcohol made her especially susceptible to its consequences. But she found it easier to speak more freely despite her tongue growing heavy. When she handed the bottle back, she dabbed her lips with her fingertips and said, “Did you ever think that maybe you’re meant to go back to New York and finish your fight with Sean? Like it’s your destiny or something?”

He looked at her as though she had lost her mind. “Man, you’re
a lightweight.”

“I’m being serious. Don’t you ever wonder why we survived when others just a few months older didn’t?”

With a somewhat strained laugh, he took another large gulp from the bottle and shook his head. “That’s just how things turned out. I never thought more about it.”

“But what about Sean? How does someone like that get to be so powerful so quickly? And how does he stay in power? Doesn’t anyone try to challenge him?”

“You know European history,” he began, passing the bottle back to her. “So take Henry VIII. Just a whiny, spoiled jerk who used his power to get whatever he wanted, right?”

“Right.”

“But he was also ruthless.”

“Uh yeah…beheading two of his wives…going to war against France whenever he felt like it…beheading more people…fathering Bloody Mary…” Andy could feel herself rambling, but Ben didn’t seem to notice.

“See? He was still a problem even after he was dead.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is that even though he did all these things that had to have pissed off the English people, he still managed to hold onto the throne for…how long?”

She looked up at the darkening sky as she reached deep into her memory. “Almost thirty-seven years…no, thirty-eight.”

“So for almost four decades, this guy managed to stay King of England despite all his bad behavior. People were afraid to stand up to him, no matter how much they disagreed with him. Because if they did, they’d lose their head, right?”

“Right.”

“Okay, now take Sean. He’s probably more intelligent and maybe less, uh, emotional than Henry VIII, and he’s smart enough to know that if you provide food and water to people and get rid of millions of rotting corpses, they’re more likely to ignore all the bad things you do. Then he’s got this way of making you want to please him.”

Watching Ben as he spoke, Andy thought she saw a look of shame cross his face.

“And he was so good at justifying his behavior,” he added after a pause.

“Like how?”

“Like when he would punish people and take away their rations for a week, he would say he just wanted people to understand that getting life back to normal meant taking orders without question. That people needed him to tell them what to do or there would always be chaos.”

“What did the other Directors think?”

“They were all too scared to do anything. Not that I was any better. Three years went by before I woke up and saw Sean for who he really is.”

“But you were young. Just a kid.” Andy could feel her words beginning to slur. “What about Jim? What did he think?”