School of Charm (10 page)

Hopping up from the ground, I scooped up Earl and his bowl and went inside to get ready for town and to start making things right with Grandma. I wasn't a hooligan. I had to prove to her that I was worth knowing too.

When I got to my room, I pulled out one of the dresses she'd bought for me to wear into town. I was going to miss a day at charm school, but patching things up with Grandma was more important.

 

M
E
, R
UTHIE, AND
C
HARLENE WERE SITTING IN THE
backseat of Grandma's Cadillac, ready to go, when Grandma turned around and narrowed her eyes at the bowl on my lap. “We're not taking that thing in my car.”

Ruthie sat between me and Charlene. She snuggled against me and looked in the bowl. She poked Earl with her finger.

“Leave him be, Ruthie!”

She crossed her arms and pouted.

“Mother, Brenda's bringing it to a pet store,” Mama said. “We're going to see what we can do.”

Grandma tightened her mouth and backed out of the driveway. She flashed me mean looks in her rearview mirror as she drove. She didn't even say anything about the purple dress with the rainbow I was wearing. Sure, there were a pair of shorts underneath it, but she didn't know that. I also had my keyhole rock in one of the pockets to mail to Billy, but she didn't know that, either.

“I certainly hope we get some rain soon,” she said. “I'm breaking my back watering my roses and it doesn't seem to make a lick of difference. They're still droopy.”

I quickly pressed my nose against the window, thinking about all the work I was doing for Miss Vernie. If Grandma knew how much I like working in gardens, she could ask me for help with that instead of dusting dolls. I rubbed the thumb along the rim of the bowl. All right. I was going to try to be nice. I took a deep breath and hoped my words came out right. It was the first time we'd talked since the fight in the off-limits room. “I know how you feel, Grandma. I planted corn back home before we moved here. I sure hope somebody's watering it. Maybe I could help you with your roses.”

Grandma flipped her hand in the air. “It's not the same thing at all. Vegetables and crops can adapt to severe weather. My roses are delicate and vulnerable. It takes a skilled gardener to care for them.”

“Well, you could tell me what to do,” I offered.

“That won't be necessary,” Grandma said.

I leaned my head against the window. Guess it would take some time for me to grow on Grandma. Maybe that would change though, once she saw me at the pageant. Being a beauty queen seemed like my only hope with her.

 

I
CARRIED
E
ARL INTO THE PET SHOP, AND
R
UTHIE RAN
right past me to the kittens. Charlene and Grandma walked down to the department store to look for shoes while Mama and I talked to the old man behind the counter.

“Excuse me,” Mama said with a big smile. Most people helped Mama when she gave them that smile. “We've got a turtle who needs a new home. Do you have any setups that could keep this little guy from getting away?”

The man rubbed his big spotted hand along the back of his head and frowned. “We used to have real nice plastic palm tree cages for little turtles. But we can't sell baby turtles anymore. FDA just banned them.”

Was this some weird southern thing? “Why?” I asked.

“Turtles carry salmonella and kids can put the tiny ones in their mouths and get sick.”

Mama pressed her hands to her mouth. “They carry a disease?”

“That's what they say.”

“So they're illegal?” she whispered.

“Only to sell them. Nothing illegal about keeping it. Might not be very smart, though.”

I backed away from the counter, a sick feeling bubbling up in my stomach.

Mama folded her hands in front of her. “Ruthie could get sick.”

“Let me see your turtle, darlin',” the old man said.

I shook my head and clutched the bowl against me.

He shifted on his stool. “That don't look like the best home for him.”

With a great big sigh, I set the bowl on the counter. He scratched his head again. “What are you feeding him?”

“Vegetables. Lettuce and stuff.”

“He needs dried flies too. And he can only swallow food when he's in the water. Did you know that?” He pressed his mouth into a tight line.

“No, sir.” I didn't even bother trying to stuff my tears away. I wasn't taking care of Earl. I was killing him.

“He should be in an aquarium with a light for heat and enough water to swim.”

I felt like sitting on the floor and crying, but instead I squared my shoulders and tried to sound real serious and mature. “Mama, can we get one? He won't be able to get out. I promise.”

Mama shook her head. “It's not safe.”

“But he's my responsibility. . . . Daddy would want me to. . . .” I shuddered, trying to pull in a deep breath. I wasn't supposed to talk about Daddy anymore.

Mama took a step toward me. “Chip . . .”

“I'll even buy it. I've got ten dollars. . . .” My lip wobbled. “Please.”

Mama closed her eyes for a long time, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I can't let anything else bad happen to this family. You have to get rid of the turtle.” She said it in the quietest voice I'd ever heard.

I stared at Earl, his shell divided up into patches like a quilt. I couldn't take care of him. I'd failed. I choked back my cries. A few months ago I would have whined and stomped my foot and nagged Mama until she changed her mind. Well, that's what the old Chip would've done. But I wanted to make Mama happy. And Grandma too. So I had to choose: keep my promise to Daddy or keep my promise to Mama. I'd never broken a promise to Daddy before, but I was going to have to. I wasn't just living in a different place with different people, I was a different person too. I was training for a pageant, and I couldn't take care of animals anymore. Plus, Daddy hadn't sent me any signs that old Chip was going to fit in. My heart wasn't slipping back into place at all. Grandma was right when she said I had to be Brand-New Brenda down in North Carolina. I didn't have a choice. “I'll find a place to let him go.” My voice was so small I wasn't even sure if the words made it out of my mouth.

Mama rubbed my shoulder. “Thanks, honey.”

The cool rock I'd found in the creek was in the pocket of my shorts, poking my hip under my dress. I cleared my throat. “Mama, I've got something to mail. Can we go to the post office?” I tried to make my voice sound normal, but my throat was thick.

Mama just nodded and we left the pet store. We walked a little ways down the street to the post office. We didn't talk at all. Mama stared straight ahead of her, holding Ruthie's hand.

The postal clerk gave me a small box and I set the rock inside. I pulled a flyer off the bulletin board for a chicken barbecue two weeks past. Then I grabbed a pen from the counter and started writing.

 

Dear Billy,

I found the new Coolest Thing Ever and wanted you to have it since you gave me the round rock. I'm not having any fun down here. How about you?

Your pal,

Chip

 

Then I crossed out “Chip” and wrote “Brenda.”

 

PS I'm going by Brenda now. I'm a brand-new Brenda.

 

I stared at those words until they were blurry. Then I folded up the paper, stuffed it into the box, and handed my package to the clerk. Mama squeezed my shoulder. “All set, Chip?”

“Mama, call me Brenda from now on.”

“Whatever for?”

“Chip's who I was back in New York. I'm a brand-new Brenda down here.” Chip was gone, just like Daddy was.

She nodded slowly and let out a long, tired breath. “If that's what you want. Sometimes, new starts are a good thing.”

“I'm trying, Mama. I'm trying.”

When we got home, I grabbed a book and ran down the road, back into the woods, and climbed that tree of mine by the creek. I didn't even do any exploring back there. Didn't seem like something Brand-New Brenda should do.

chapter thirteen

I
ROLLED AROUND IN BED ALL NIGHT LONG, TANGLING
the sheets around my legs, wondering if I should go back to Miss Vernie's after everything that happened with Earl and Dana. But when I saw my family talking and laughing at breakfast, I sat down and tried to join in. They were joking about a blanket Mama once tried to knit.

Then Charlene talked about a project she'd made in home ec, and Ruthie said she wanted to learn to knit. I didn't know what to say. I felt like an orange in an apple crate.

“Is knitting hard?” I asked. “Maybe you could teach me someday, Mama.” I figured that might be a way for us to spend time together since she liked it so much.

Mama frowned. “It can be. You don't have the patience for knitting, Chip.” She chuckled. “I'm sure you couldn't sit still long enough.”

Mama was used to dealing with just Ruthie and Charlene. She didn't have time to squeeze me in, too, and I sure didn't want to add more stress to her life.

“You're probably right,” I said. I grabbed a muffin and headed for the door. “I'm going exploring.”

No one even protested. “You be careful out there. Thousands of kids get hurt in the woods every day and are never heard from again,” Mama hollered after me.

“I will.” I walked up the street and down Miss Vernie's driveway, the trees whispering above me. I clutched the bowl, hoping I wasn't making a mistake bringing Earl back there, but I had to get rid of him. My knees were just barely holding me up as I walked into the garden. Karen tossed her baton in the air while Dana sat on the porch. I was so glad to see she'd come back. I took a deep breath and walked right up to them. A ray of light broke through the clouds so I was standing in a patch of sunshine.

“Chip!” Karen dropped her baton and ran over. “Where were you yesterday?”

“I wasn't feeling well. And I'm not going by Chip anymore.”

Miss Vernie folded down her paper to look at me. “I rather liked your nickname. Why the sudden change?”

I felt my lips tightening. “Brenda is more appropriate for a pageant, don't you think?”

“I think you should do what feels most comfortable for you,” Miss Vernie said.

I tipped up my chin. “Well, Brenda feels comfortable.” That's what people called me before I chipped my teeth, anyway. I must've been comfortable with it back then.

Karen blinked at me. “Um, okay, Brenda.” She walked up the porch with me. “How's your turtle?”

Dana froze, keeping her eyes on the same spot of her page.

“Mama wants me to get rid of him. I said I'd let him go in your pond, Miss Vernie.” My voice cracked.

Miss Vernie put down her paper and looked at me. “That turtle's something special to you, isn't he?”

I nodded, tears dripping down my face.

“Why don't you leave him here with me? I'll take care of him for you until you figure out something that doesn't hurt your heart so much.”

I ran to her and wrapped my arms around her. She patted my back. She smelled like sugar and lavender and something that softened my heart. Picking up the bowl, she set Earl on the corner of her covered deck.

Miss Vernie cupped my cheek in her hand. Then she sat down and picked up her paper again. “Did you girls know they're going to test the space shuttle this month with the first manned flights? Isn't that exciting?”

Miss Vernie was always telling us about news stories. I couldn't believe how many newspapers she read. There were old copies from cities all around the country. But I knew she was just changing the subject right then on my account.

“Wow,” Karen said, trying to sound interested while she searched for her baton in the grass.

Dana hadn't looked up yet, but Miss Vernie put her hand on her shoulder. “Shall we work on the choreography for your song?”

Dana shook her head. “I'm just going to sing. No moves. My song will be enough.” She stood up. “I'm heading down to the pond.”

“We'll come with you,” I suggested, hoping Dana wouldn't mind.

Karen found her baton and set it on the deck. “Sounds good to me.”

Dana didn't answer, but she grabbed a shovel and followed us. We were tromping down the path through the woods when something caught my eye. It was a golden glow far off between the trees. I stopped and squinted. “What's back there?”

Karen put her hands on her hips. “I'm not sure. Looks like there might be a path headed that way.”

I wrapped my hand around a tree branch and gazed down the path. “There's one way to find out.”

Dana shook her head. “Let's just get to work.”

But Karen and I ran off along the trail toward the light. I could hear Dana following behind us, twigs snapping under her feet. We pushed back branches and vines until the forest ended in a big open field covered in white. “Is that snow?” I whispered.

Karen stood there with her mouth open. Dana finally caught up to us and studied the field. “Wishing flowers!” she said.

Then it clicked. “Dandelions! Thousands of them!” I took a few steps forward so I could pick one. I twirled it between my fingertips and watched the fuzzy seeds fly. They floated up, up, and away.

Karen giggled and ran through the field, sending clouds of white into the air.

“Karen, you're wasting wishes!” Dana yelled after her.

“How do you know I'm not making wishes while I'm running?” Karen spun around, kicking at the flowers to make the seeds sail.

I stepped into the field, the puffy flower heads tickling my legs. Then I stooped over and ran my fingers along the tops of the dandelions, releasing their tiny parachutes. Whenever I found a dandelion back home, I'd try to flick off the head and see how far it would go. But this seemed like a place to whisper wishes. So I grabbed a handful of flowers and held them up to the sky, shaking them back and forth hoping Daddy could see. Maybe that would remind him of my wish, because I still didn't fit in right anywhere, and I still hadn't seen a sign. Maybe I needed a new wish. “Help me make things right with Dana. Help me be like Mama and Charlene and Ruthie. Help me be one of Mama's girls.” And I blew on those flowers like they were birthday candles, hoping my words would make it to heaven.

Dropping the bare stems, I looked over at Dana, who was studying a flower, blowing on it softly, and releasing the seeds a few at a time. Karen was still shrieking and running through the field like a crazy person. For someone who normally likes just sitting around, she was having a good time.

I looked up at the thousands of dandelion seeds floating above us like snowflakes going the wrong way—up toward the sky instead of down to the ground. I walked over to Dana. “What are you wishing for?”

She didn't look at me. “What makes you think I'm wishing for anything?”

“Everyone has a wish, don't they?”

Dana lifted a shoulder.

I took a deep breath. “I'm sorry about the thing with my turtle.” I tied a flower stem into a knot. “I forgot who James Earl Ray was. I didn't know he broke out of jail. We haven't really been keeping track of that kind of stuff at my house.”

Dana snorted, tossing a blown-out dandelion to the ground. “Right. That's not something white folks would need to keep track of.”

“No.” I nibbled on my lip. “It's just that lately we've had our own problems.” I closed my eyes and waited for her to say something.

Finally she said, “Let's just forget about it.” She picked another flower and started blowing.

“Thanks.” The corners of my mouth were twitching into a smile. Was one of my wishes already coming true? “So what's your wish?”

She put a hand on her hip. “Shush! You don't talk about them if you want them to come true.”

“Are you wishing your mama was still with you?” I sure hoped she wouldn't get mad at my question.

She gave me a look. “Maybe. But I just don't like talking about it.” She blew away the last seed on her flower.

“Well, like I told you guys, my daddy died, and I know how hard it can be losing someone you love. And feeling all alone—like your heart has a deep end you didn't even know about.”

She looked at me and her eyes softened. “I know that feeling.” I hoped she might say something more, but Karen galloped toward us, a white cloud in her wake. “This is so cool!”

Dana scolded her. “Girl, you tore up that whole field.”

“It was fun! And I had a lot of wishing to do,” Karen said. “I wished for a pool in our backyard and a crown at the pageant and to grow four inches by next year.”

“Now that you told us, you're never going to get those things,” Dana said.

“That's just a lie. I think the more people you tell, the more likely it is to come true,” Karen said, nodding. “But I forgot to wish for a boyfriend in sixth grade!” She covered her mouth and giggled. “Come on!” She grabbed me and Dana by the hands and pulled us back into the field. We had to run to keep up with her, and soon enough we were tearing trails through the dandelions too, the heads tickling our calves, the air around us looking like a snowstorm. We ran until we tumbled to the ground, panting.

Karen held up her arms. “We're totally covered in fuzz!”

We looked at each other, giggling. There wasn't a patch of our skin that didn't have dandelion seeds stuck to it. It reminded me of the mud back in the pond, only this time we were all fuzzy and white instead of slick and dark.

“What a mess,” Dana said, picking fuzzes off her arm. “We should get back so we can work on the pond.”

We tried brushing away the seeds, but there were too many. The three of us walked back to the path, looking like we'd rolled in lint.

“Did you make a wish?” Karen asked me.

I wasn't ready to be sharing my wishes. “I did, but I'm not telling. I hope yours comes true.”

She giggled. “Me too. Man, this is better than watching TV. I'm so glad I found Miss Vernie's school.”

I stopped walking. “What do you mean you found it? Like in a newspaper ad?”

She shook her head. “No. I wasn't even looking for a charm school. My mom and I were going to the dentist and we were arguing about whether I need braces or not. I don't. I totally don't need braces and the dentist agrees, but my mom wants my teeth to be perfect. Well, Mom didn't even realize she'd turned down the wrong road, which is weird because she never gets lost.”

We started down the path again, listening to Karen's story, not even paying attention where we were going. “So then what happened?” I asked.

Karen snapped a branch off a dead tree and started using it as a walking stick. “When she finally figured out we were going the wrong way, she turned the car around and I saw the sign. It was like a ray of sun was lighting it up or something. So I begged my mom to check it out. She drove her car up the driveway and we met Miss Vernie.”

My heart was beating double-time. “And you joined that day?”

“When my mom found out it was free, she said we should look for a more respected charm school. I think she figured an expensive one would be better.” Karen shrugged. “But I just knew I wanted to come here, so she let me stay and check it out.”

My mouth was hanging wide open like a jack-o'-lantern's. “How did you find it, Dana?”

She strapped her arms across her chest like maybe she wasn't going to tell us. Then she twisted her lips and said, “My dog, Pepper, got lost, and we put an ad in the paper in case anyone found him.” She looked away. “I was really upset because I've had that dog since . . . since I was little. I put flyers up on every telephone pole in town.”

“Let me guess. Miss Vernie found him, didn't she?”

She nodded. “When we came to pick him up, and I realized it was a charm school, I asked my daddy if I could come for lessons. Once he found out they were free, he said no problem. I hadn't even been thinking about going to charm school either until we found it.”

The three of us stopped walking and stared at each other, not sure what to say. Finally Karen asked me, “What about you?”

My heart started beating fast just remembering that
tappity-tap-tap
noise when I found the sign. But it was too crazy to share with the girls. I kicked at a stone. “I was just walking down the road and saw the sign.”

Karen wrinkled her nose. “That's not very interesting.”

“Speaking of the school, maybe we should skip the cattails for now and get back,” Dana said. “We've been out here a long time.”

We turned round in circles on the path, but we couldn't figure out which way to go. “Oh my gosh, you guys. We are so lost,” Karen said.

“Let's just keep going this way.” Dana pointed ahead. “Someone made this path, so it has to lead somewhere. We'll find our way.”

We spent the next half hour walking down paths that turned us in circles and finally got us back to the main trail.