Scorched (2 page)

CHAPTER THREE

an Ordinary Night:

The light in my lantern flickered as the methane sputtered out slowly. It was about time to get back. In the tunnels without light, you’re dead. It’s as important to our society as food, water and oxygen. One time, before the buddy system was implemented, a collector by the name of Chip was out excavating when his methane ran dry. He was on a newly built trail when it happened and he hadn’t yet grown accustomed to the routes’ nuances. He yelled for help, but deep within the tunnels, it’s impossible to know where the echo’s coming from. He was found a week later, having fallen into another tunnel and broke his neck.

I’ve heard in past civilizations that death is mourned, but when somebody in the colony passes, we celebrate the person’s life and don’t dwell on their death. Not just because all life is to be celebrated and appreciated, but with their death comes a feast for the rest of the village. A ceremony is held for the individual, culminating in a thanksgiving meal.

Every part of the body is used. The blood is siphoned and evenly allotted to the community. The organs and meat are cooked thoroughly on clay pots over hot coals, and the bones, skin and hair are used for tools and household items. And the heart is given to the closest relative of the deceased. It’s more of a symbolic gesture than anything else, but it’s also one of the most nutritious parts of the body.

Luckily for us, even if our light were to go out, Cotta and I would be okay. We know these tunnels like we know our cubbies and we’d be able to make our way back safely. So, our hearts for now are our own.

I sat beside our makeshift tunnel waiting for Cotta to finish his shift. There was nothing more I could do than just sit and stare at the grains of dirt all around…

I never met my father’s father. He passed a couple of cycles before I was born. Each person has their own unique heritage that dates back to the beginning of the new world when Man moved below. My ancestor who once lived on the surface was named Janathon Weshington. So the story goes, passed on from parent to child, Janathon was a machine operator, a doctor who fixed cars. On the surface, cars were the main source of transportation with rounded wheels and exploding engines which would propel the machine forward at incredible speeds. When parts would fall off the cars, Janathon would find and replace them.

On the day of the solar flare, Janathon was with his breeder and son touring a coal mine. When the surface was scorched and atmosphere incinerated, the mine sealed off and he and the survivors began the first underground colony. And the rest is history…

I think about that story often. I think, what if Janathon had decided not to tour the mine or if they had left early or gotten there late. Such an irrelevant decision at the time has had such great consequences in my life. I would not be were it not for those series of events. I think about the moments I spend while awake, the moments I spend digging and thinking and how inconsequential certain decisions may seem at the time. Often, I consider leaving early from scavenging because I’m tired, while other times I decide to collect longer. I might find some extra larvae or bits of clay, but staying longer or leaving early doesn’t wholly affect me at that time. But what if each choice, though meaningless at the moment, is the reason a future child lives and breathes and thinks of me? What if my thinking this right now sets off a series of events that will ultimately lead to somebody’s demise or somebody’s saving? Every choice I make, every seemingly meaningless decision now is undoubtedly a cause to an effect, cycles in the future. And then, that effect is a cause to another effect.

“Hey, Spec.” I looked up at Cotta who had apparently been standing in front of me for some time. “We’re really close to breaking through.”

“Yeah…maybe tomorrow?”

“Maybe.”

“Echo’s gonna squeeze that baby out this week. Hopefully not before we get through.”

We collected our belongings and headed back while Cotta chattered away. “Her milk is the tastiest right after the baby comes out. We should bottle some up for our journey.”

I ran my fingers against the side of the tunnel as we hunched through. I watched as grains of dirt dribbled down and landed quietly on the floor beneath. I had caused those specs to tumble from their place on the wall to their place on the ground. Without my decision to run my fingers, they would not be where they are. I did that. It seems so meaningless now…

“Could there ever be a tunnel so big, we couldn’t see the top?” Cotta balanced the ax on his finger as we reached the hive. We entered the Cove and deposited our collections for the day – some rocks and clay.

We collected our daily chum and milk and headed to the Grotto which was the biggest room besides the Central Hive. There, we socialized with our peers before the Head Elder commenced the meeting. As always, Ceramy was the first to greet us. He was the youngest of the collectors, halfway through his 6
th
cycle.

“Heya Spec! Get anything good today?” The boy placed his lantern on the ground and waited for me to pull something magical out of my basket.

“Just some clay,” I said in as nonchalant way as possible to deter any follow up questions.

He quickly diverted his attention to Cotta. “What bout you?”

“I found a large fungus. The size of your head!”

“No way!” he squealed. “When do we eat it?!”

I tempered his enthusiasm – “He’s joking, Ceramy. All we hauled was rocks and clay.”

The boy giggled. “That’s funny but now I’m kinda sad you didn’t find it, hey guess what I found while collecting today, I’ve never seen anything like it, you wanna see it?”

He pulled out a tiny rock and handed it to me. I looked at him, unsure of how this was in any way special. “You gotta rub it,” he said with growing excitement.

I rubbed the rock, wiping away some of the dirt and revealing a sparkling surface. I held it to the dim lantern and within the rock, I saw glowing colors I had never seen before. One was blue and one was darker and one was brighter. How do you describe a color if you’ve never seen it before?

Cotta grabbed it from my hands and scratched at the surface. He banged it against the ground. “It’s worthless. Too difficult to cut and shape.”

“But it’s so pretty!” he retorted. That’s when I noticed Kaolin’s eyes watching me. I smiled and waved politely, but she quickly turned her head as if she wasn’t even looking my way. I felt bad for the girl even though I shouldn’t. We all have jobs and just because hers leaves her restless in the hive all day isn’t my fault. And when she becomes fertile, and if her body is able to withstand the birthing process, she will have a considerably decent life by our standards. She will get the most food and doesn’t even have to work for it; she just has to usher in the next generation of workers.

The others slowly siphoned in and all seventy-three of us sat on tiny mounds of dirt, listening to the High Elder as he announced the daily haul. Echo was presented and we all stared at her bursting belly. Crumble, the father of the soon-to-be baby, stood beside her, proud but tempered.

We ended the ceremony by gathering in line and rubbing the breeders’ bellies for good luck. As my hand brushed against Echo, I felt a tiny foot kick at my fingers. I rubbed some of the stomach and instead of seeing unimaginable colors, I saw a little imprint of the future.

“What’s their name gonna be?” I asked, staring at the belly.

Echo smiled and simply said, “Hope.”

CHAPTER FOUR

Fervor:

I wasn’t stealing; I was borrowing.

But even if I wasn’t returning it, it wasn’t stealing. It was technically 1/74
th
mine and 1/74
th
Cottas so that means it was 1 somethingth Cotta and mine which we could use when we wanted.

It was just a prototype but it worked well enough. A self-sustaining lantern, like the Central Tank, but portable. It meant future collectors wouldn’t need to fill up their lanterns with methane any more, they could just deposit droppings in the bottom and the methane would always be present. And it’s not like we were taking the only one of its kind; there were three prototypes so the colony would be fine. Cotta and I also constructed a portable tank to cultivate some bacteria. It couldn’t fill large tunnels with oxygen, but in areas depleted of air, the tank might be a lifesaver.

By my count, we had all that we needed for our journey. We had light with enough deposits to last us awhile. We had also been saving some of our rations of chum every feeding period, so we had food which would allow us to continue to make deposits in the lantern. The lantern gave us light and fire which allowed us to heat our urine in the aquifyer giving us clean drinking water and the tanks would supply us with enough breathable oxygen. We had enough to sustain us for about a quarter of a cycle.

Neither of us worried too much about when our sustenance would run dry. Cotta didn’t worry because he didn’t think that far ahead. I wasn’t worried because I trusted in our ability to find our own food and water as we moved forward. 

What worried me most wasn’t the rigors of the journey ahead, but was leaving my father behind. He was a good father by all accounts and cherished me more than any other father cherished their child in the colony. I had wanted to make this journey for cycles but had held back because of him. He found out my secret desire through no fault of my own. While my eyes were closed and I was off in far away lands, my secrets unwittingly flooded from my mouth and he overheard everything I had been thinking but never said.

He sat me down one day and told me how when he was younger, he adored my mother. He wished she would be his and only his, but his father told him his dreams should stay locked away in his head, for they were merely dreams. And then, one day he was lucky enough to be chosen and for one day, she was his and he was hers. The cycle in which I grew in my mother’s stomach was the best time of his life. He was allowed to provide for her daily, watching his love grow inside of her and then, I was born and I became his while she became another’s.

My father’s dream had come true, if only for a fleeting period of time, and I was the lasting memory not only of his love, but that wishes and wants were possible. I was the most important thing in the colony to him, but he would rather me dream and wish and want than just be relegated as his dream. He told me that his new dream was for me to live mine, for me to make my life rather than live his. It made departing the colony an easier task to swallow, but I still worried about leaving him alone.

I sat in the Grotto next to my father, Cotta and Dover as we watched Grub perform his magic show. He was the most experienced at sleight of hand in the colony and for better or worse, he was the best entertainment we had and a lot more exciting than watching larvae “race” down a clay track with people gambling portions of their chum rations on the winner.

Grub picked up a large chunk of clay, waved his hand over it and turned it into a sharp rock. We all clapped our hands as he continued his show. Cotta and the others were deeply immersed in his performance while my eyes predictably wandered. Instead of watching the magician, I observed the audience; I found their reactions more interesting than the show before them. Everybody was so focused on the act in front of them that they were missing out on the show all around.

As my eyes wandered, they landed on the only other wandering eyes. Kaolin wasn’t looking at me; instead, she was watching the people all around her. I watched her as she watched the others until finally, she peaked my way.

My eyes didn’t dart away and neither did hers. We stared at each other across the packed room, observing each other as we observed the other. And then, she smiled.

That’s when I looked away. My eyes darted back to the magician and stayed there. Even though I couldn’t see her, I could feel her watching me. I could feel her analyzing and deciphering me like I would everybody else. I didn’t like it. What she was doing didn’t feel right. When I watched everybody, they were ignorant of my eyes, but she knew I knew she was watching yet she continued to do so. It was rude is what it was.

I turned back to give her a disapproving look but she was gone. I felt her eyes still on me but she was nowhere to be found.

“Could there ever be a magician so good he could make a person disappear?” Cotta looked at me as inquisitive as ever.

“I dunno,” I replied, my most often response to one of his questions.

It was an ordinary moment for Cotta and an ordinary moment for me. It was an ordinary moment for the colony and for the world as we so presumed. Things were all so ordinary when Crumble quickly jumped to his feet and with such excitement and enthusiasm shouted:

“Echo’s water just broke!”

CHAPTER FIVE

Breech:

It happened suddenly like all good and bad things. The colony quickly dispersed, leaving Echo alone in the Grotto with only Crumble and the elders who would help escort new life into our world. It was a great moment for Crumble and the others, but an anxious one for me and Cotta. After the delivery of a newborn, the colony allows everybody to take the day off as we feast on fresh milk, chum, and placenta. It is a time where we do not have to deliver our gatherings for the day, which means we had an extra day’s head start before they knew we were gone.

Our problem was simple: we had yet to breach through to the old hive. Now, with Echo going into labor, we might not be able to break through in time.

Cotta hurried over to me. “If she’s still in labor when we wake up, they’ll send us out to collect, right?”

“It depends on how much food we’ve got stockpiled. We might not get a chance to break through until the celebration.”

Cotta bit his lip. “We could sneak out when everyone’s sleeping.”

“We’re dead if somebody spots us.” I looked around at all of the excited people. “We wait until the baby is born. Appear at the feast and then slip out. Hopefully we chip through right away.”

He looked uneasy. “What if it takes us too long? They might send someone to get us. Even if we break through, they know the old hive better than we do. They’ll be able to catch us.”

I had the solution tiptoeing across my tongue, but I didn’t want to say it aloud. I didn’t want to utter the words because it would make it more real…but I had to. “We collapse the tunnel behind us.”

“What if we want to go back? What if we need to?”

Cotta’s usual jovial tone turned bleak as his hypothetical questions transformed into very real quandaries. I didn’t want to persuade him into doing anything he wasn’t comfortable with, but it would be impossible for me to make the journey all by myself.

“Look, chances are we break through right away and nobody notices. We get a big head-start and we can leave the tunnel as is.”

“What if we don’t?”

“Just…think about everything and what you want or don’t want and when we come to that point, we can figure things out.”

He nodded and walked to his cubby. I knew we would come across a variety of barriers in our journey, but I didn’t think we would hit an impasse so soon. But here I was, telling Cotta not to ask good questions as I attempted to ignore futuristic scenarios.

I didn’t go back to the cubby for awhile; instead, I sat at the top of the cove and looked down at the hive. The Central Tank burned bright, sprinkling light across the many smiling and excited faces. A thin layer of smoke formed at the roof of the hive, contained by the same barrier protecting me. If I were to dig up, I could free us both. We would claw our way to the surface, to the charred past. The smoke would survive, but I wouldn’t. I would burn or freeze or suffocate but in the moments before the world went dark, I would see it. I would see what once was; I would see the world through unfiltered eyes and perhaps discover the remains of large insects.

I continued to sit at the edge of my world, legs dangling off the path. As time passed, more and more people dispersed, heading to their cubbies to sleep. I should go back and spend my last day with my father, but for some reason, I can’t get up, I can’t leave. As much as I care for everybody here, as much as I love my father, nothing ever changes, nobody changes. I can wake up and expect the day to go as it goes. I can expect people to act the way they act. Every so often, there’s a slight surprise like Echo’s water breaking early, but they are the same surprises. I want something new. I want something I’ve never seen or heard or imagined. I want a spark. I want to be ignited. I want my flesh scorched and imagination set ablaze.

And then, I had an epiphany. These were no longer wants, they were no longer desires. They had become needs. I needed the change. I needed the different. I needed it as much as I needed food and air and water and light. But it was something the colony could not provide for me. It was something my father could not give me. It was only something I could earn myself. I need to see colors I could never imagine. And even if it meant my light would go out and I’d be lost forever, it was a risk I had to take. I’d rather have my light extinguished than never having been lit.

The world was still and quiet and I suddenly realized I was alone. It was just me and the flame. My father was asleep. Cotta was asleep. The world was sleeping while I dreamt.

I stood up and gazed out below me. Time to get some sleep

***

“She squeezed him out!” I squinted and examined Cotta in the dim light. “The celebration is starting.”

I looked over at my father’s bed, but he was nowhere to be found. “We’ll eat and then slip out.”

Cotta led the way. The closer we got, the louder the chanting. In the Cove, a beady eyed Echo smiled to her adoring fans as Crumble held up their baby boy, Hope. He was still covered in uteral lining but he was beautiful as all babies are. The other breeders quickly tended to the child as the Hivetakers distributed the chum and fresh milk. And then, a nice little gift: we divvied up some of the crags we had been collecting and breeding. The little insects were still alive which made them extra juicy but difficult to swallow as their legs try to scurry up your tongue even after you bite down on their heads.

I took a sip of Echo’s sweet milk and looked over at Cotta. He took a bite of crag and nodded his head. I looked across the room and spotted my dad eating and celebrating with the other fathers. I didn’t say anything. I just got up and excused myself. Kaolin gave me a questioning look, but I needn’t explain.

Cotta and I left and planned to meet back in his cubby after I collected all my belongings. When I got to my cubby, I pulled out a piece of charcoal. I wanted my father to know I would remember him always. I needed him to know I would survive for the both of us. I drew a quick picture. It wasn’t my best, but it would be my last on this wall. I picked up my supplies and looked over at my creation: a fiery ball in the sky glaring down at a barren Earth. On the tallest mound of dirt stood me, staring down below.

Cotta and I reached our secret path in no time. There was no need to play any game to decide who was going. It was going to be me breaching through, giving birth to my new life.

I quickly crawled through the tunnel and immediately began chipping away. I could feel my future inching up in front of me. The oxygen was thin in the tunnel, but I was undeterred. I could smell the mystery ahead. Whereas the unknown was frightening to many of those in the hive, for me, it was my freedom.

I slammed the butte of my ax against the wall. Again and again and again until finally, I broke through and a gust of air splashed against my face and doused my light.

It was pitch black. I didn’t think my light would go out this soon. I continued to break through the wall, and I crawled blindly ahead, feeling my way hesitantly. I turned and shouted, “I’m through!”

I sat there in darkness for a few moments. I had no idea what lay in front of me, but instead of being scared, I was excited. I spotted Cotta’s light inching through the tunnel. His head finally poked through, anxiety smattered across his face. “We have a problem.”

Before I could ask him what he meant, I saw the problem crawling up behind him:

Kaolin.