Scornfully Yours (Torn Series) (9 page)

As we got closer to school my stomach nose-dived at the thought of seeing Carter again. Did he hook up with another woman last night? Quite possibly, it didn’t take him long last time to jump in bed with me after his conquest before me. It was what? Two days, three maybe? We had sex on our second date. We almost did it on the first date but we ended up hitting a party with our friends afterwards and we were too drunk to do much else that night.

     Carter doesn’t talk about his feelings at all. Instead, he expresses them through his actions, usually during sex. When we fought or he was angry he would take me hard and fast.  When he’s happy, he teased me and tickled me and left me begging for him to take me. Yeah, I think I fell hard during his happy phases, sadly.

     I still hadn’t read the rest of his messages, but I can’t fathom going over them right now.

     I bet he’s just angry that I’m with Bass only a day after I dumped him.

     What else would he be so angry about?

“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.”
 

-
                  
Fyodor Dostoevsky

     When we exited the freeway and close to my place, I gave Bass directions to my dorm and we got there five minutes later.

     H parked and killed the engine.  He looked at me silently.

     The silence stretched for a good minute before I spoke. Unsure how to take it from here…

     “It was nice to meet you, Bass. It really was. I had a great time, bizarre but enjoyable nonetheless.” I grinned at the studious man beside me.

     My smile faltered when he didn’t smile back. Why was he so serious all of a sudden? We were fine when we left his house.

     “I have this dinner thing on Tuesday night for a film I just signed up for to shoot this summer in Greece. Would you come with me and be my date?”

     “Oh, don’t you all discuss work details, though? I don’t want to intrude on that.” Not to mention, I would look like a complete idiot and so out of place.

     “You won’t. It’ll be fun. The director is my godfather, actually. So it’s going to be laidback, don’t worry. You’re going to have a blast. Say you’ll go with me?”

     “Do people ever tell you
no
?” I cocked my brow at him. I somehow doubt he ever gets a ‘no’…especially from women.

     A lazy gorgeous smile etched on his face as he responded. “Well, there’s this girl…she’s stunning and funny…she has these beautiful blue eyes and golden hair…and she doesn’t seem to be interested in me, not one bit. Well as I, on the other hand, feel compelled to be with her and see more of her.”

     I nudged his arm. “Now you’re just being silly, Bass.”

     “I’ll pick you up at five, Tuesday afternoon?” He reached up to my face and his thumb and grazed my lip. His eyes darkened as he studied my lips.

     Why doesn’t he just kiss me already? He keeps staring at them all the time.

    
Oh, hell yeah
, I knew. My skin would prickle every time he did—that’s how I knew. His gaze was that powerful, it affected me even if I wasn’t looking or paying attention.

     “Bass…”

     He looked at me, his eyes unreadable. “Did you love that guy you were with, Em?”

   My throat ran dry. “Unfortunately, yes.”

    “I knew you did. I just needed confirmation. Thank you for your honesty.” Alright…then.

     He got out of the car and opened the door for me. I cleared my throat as I stared at him—the sun was glowing behind him, almost blinding me. “Bass, I think you’re great. But I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for. Everything’s complicated with me right now.”

    He held my chin and it forced me to look deep into his eyes—powerful in their passion, acute in their force.

    It reached something inside me.

    “Aren’t we starting out as friends as we agreed upon? Don’t worry, Em.” Bass gently kissed my forehead. “Be ready by five come Tuesday afternoon. I’ll see you then.” With that parting, he slid back inside his car, gunned the engine and raced out into traffic.

     I was standing on the pavement, rendered speechless.

     What a man…

     With my purse in hand, I strode toward my building and into my dorm. Thoughts of the night spent with Bass raced through my mind. The sunrise…each time I see them now—it will forever bring me back to my memory of the night I spent with Bass.

     I was about to unlock my room when the door was yanked open by an angry looking Carter.

     What was he doing here? Probably to see Lindsey, they were siblings after all.

     ”Uh…hello," I said lamely and started to walk towards my bedroom.

     Carter jumped out of nowhere.

    “Is that all you have to say? A fucking hello?!” He screeched.

     In my sleep deprived state, it annoyed the hell out of me. What a drama queen! I thought lamely. I could not be bombarded by him right now when I’m a bit tizzy.

     I turned around to face him and folded my arms across my chest. “What do you want Carter?”

     Carter pulled me inside my room and loudly shut the door. He shoved me up against the wall and placed his hands on each side of my head, caging me in. His ever signature pissed off move. “What I
want
is for you to explain what the hell you’re doing? The entire school knows about your little getaway and your little stint with that actor dude.”

     So, what? Who cares about the entire school? I had fun and that’s all that mattered.

     “That’s none of your business, Carter, and certainly not the entire campus’s either. I could care less about what they think. Now, will you please move? I need to rest. I’m exhausted.”

     It was too late to realize that that was the wrong thing to say. It set off something in Carter.

     He looked downright murderous.

     “You’re exhausted?
From what
, Em?” Carter’s voice had gone low and deadly.

     I swallowed as I studied him. He
looked
deadly.

     His eyes were so dark and dangerous. Have I pushed his buttons too far? No matter how angry he was, I knew for a fact that he would never ever hit me.

    “I said. That’s. None. Of. Your. Business. Got it?” I spat the words back at him. If he was angry, I was angrier.

     How dare he march in here and act like this?

    “Don’t do this to me, Em…this is driving me insane!” He grounded out, wretchedly.

     I wasn’t expecting that.

     Never from him.

     I felt a spring of hope…
maybe
…just maybe…

    “I thought we were done?” I asked, watching him with uncertainty, gauging his thoughts.

     He closed his eyes and whispered, “I know. But I can’t stomach the thought of you with another guy. I just can’t. I’m going crazy here, Emma.”

     Oh fuck, I feel torn. Did he have a change of
heart
?

     Oh, fuck it! It’s now or never.

     Emboldened, I went for the kill.  

     “
Do you love me?
” I throatily asked.

      His eyes instantly opened with my damning question, searching and pensive.

     “I told you I don’t
do
love, Em,” Carter responded with distaste.

      His words gutted me all the same. What was I thinking? He wouldn’t just change after a few days.

     “Then there’s no point of you being here,
now is there Carter?
”

     His dark eyes penetrated mine and my heart stopped when he spoke. “
Are you in love with me
, Em? Is that what this is all about?” His hand cupped my cheek. The sudden contact of him, almost undid me.

     For some odd reason, I wanted to cry. I love him so much, it’s crazy. I feel crazy for wanting him to love me—even just a small fraction of what I felt for him.

      But alas, it was not meant to be.

     “I don’t.” It was the greatest lie of all but I wouldn’t back down knowing he didn’t feel the same way about me.

     “You don’t sound convincing to me because
if
that’s the reason why you broke it off, then I don’t mind
that
as long as you’re with me again.” He emphasized. How embarrassing is that?

      He doesn’t mind that I love him, does he? Well, great. Good for him because
I fucking mind!
I minded that he doesn’t feel shit about me.

     Romantic, is it not?

     “Well, that’s
your
problem. Now, will you please get out of my room? I haven’t slept much last night and I need some sleep.”

     “Em, is it true? Did you
spend the night
with him?” His voice sounded pained again.

     Was it pain, really? Or is it his bruised ego because I ended on our blasted sexual relationship?

     The question was a double entendre and I didn’t know which answer to give him.

     Did I spend the night with Bass? Yeah, I did.

     But did I have sex with him? That’s a definite no.

     “He took me back to his home. We spent the night together if that’s what you want to know.” I pressed my lips together as I watched all kinds of emotions run through his eyes…his face. I wanted to reach out to him, but I didn’t.

     We were past that.

     His eyes, the way he looked at me, sliced me in two. There was so much hatred there, I felt pained and wretched.

     He punched the wall next to me so hard and growled like a maniac. I was surprised that the wall didn’t have a hole in it. His knuckles, from what I could see, were cut open and bleeding, but it didn’t seem to faze him.

     “Goodbye, Emma,” Carter whispered and immediately marched out of my room.

     My life.

     What a stupid mess this was.

     I guess this is really goodbye for us.

     It was the conclusion, the ending.

     But why wasn’t I crying? The night we officially broke it off, I felt every single pain that wracked through my body. But now, I didn’t feel any of that. Sure there was still pain, but not as intense or numbing. It was bearable.

     Heavy on my heart but bearable.

     It took me a good five minutes before I was able to move. I stripped off my clothing and jumped into bed in my underwear.

     I just wanted to hide inside my comforter and curl up.

     I dozed off a few minutes after my head hit the pillow.

“Sometimes you need a second chance, because time wasn’t ready for the first time.”

-
Author Unknown

     I barely made it to my Literature class the next day. I slept so soundly that I didn’t even hear my loud alarm clock. Once I realized the time when I did wake up, I didn’t even want to get out of bed.

     Lazy bones.

      For one thing, I knew the rumor mill was spreading about Bass and me. Second, I knew Carter would be around campus and from our heated encounter yesterday, I honestly did not want to see him so soon.

     After an hour discussion on Leo Tolstoy, the class was dismissed. As I got up to gather my belongings, two girls stopped in front of me.

     “Is it true? That you’re the
mystery woman
?”

    
I’m a what?

     “I beg your pardon?”  I questioned, looking wholly baffled at the two enthusiastic women.

     “You’re Bass Cole’s
mystery
woman. You’re all over the gossip blogs and gossip magazines.” No. Fucking. Way.

     “Sorry, I have to go and be somewhere,” I excused myself and left them whispering to each other.

     Bass hadn’t tried to contact me since yesterday when he dropped me off. I admit was a little worried about that.

     I was at the coffee shop enjoying my macchiato when Trista and Amber walked over to my table.  Trista slapped a magazine down as they both sat across from me, each with a mile wide grin on their faces.

      My eyes immediately darted to it. ‘Who is Bass Cole’s Mystery Woman’ it said in bold blue lettering. It was a picture of us leaving the club, Bass’s arm clutched on my hip as he guided me towards the SUV. The other picture, on the other hand, was something else entirely. The picture was taken through the gates of his home and it showed him opening the car door for me—I was dressed in the same clothes from the club picture—and as I looked up to his face, I was smiling and looking rather…well,
happy
.  It looked like we had a great night fucking each other’s brains out.