Scornfully Yours (Torn Series) (33 page)

“Emma, talk to me, please?”

Ugh, not again!

“Go away Carter. You’re majestic dick is not needed here. Goodbye!” It’s been a month since that boathouse incident and Carter is still trying to talk to me.

Every. Single. Day.

But he hasn’t been successful.

The weekend we spent in L.A., we dropped by Home Depot to buy new locks before we headed home. I didn’t want to take a chance on Carter prancing in here asking for forgiveness with me unaware. And I was right. He’s been groveling ever since, but I haven’t paid him any attention. At times, he’d wait for me outside class but without success. Even Lindsey had stopped talking to him.

There was no way in hell for him to get inside our apartment and my life. He should’ve given up, but he’s stubborn as hell.

At times, I felt bad, like I’m Cruella de Vil, but it doesn’t last long. All I had to do was remember the boathouse and it will set me off in flames. I felt relieved when I heard him kick the door and stomp off.

Way to go to fuck up my day, Carter! Today of all days.

I had to go to LA for a couple of days. Barbara’s assistant, Mark, always books me a room to stay overnight, once a week, to see my acting coach, Shiva for two hours. After that, I have another one hour yoga session with Liston. The day after, I have a two hour grueling work-out session with my personal trainer, Ben. This painful, ass-kicking schedule started last week and today, I have to start it all over again. I don’t think my body has even recovered from the trauma it went through last week.
Yes, Ben is crazy.
If I didn’t know any better, he probably thinks we’re training for the freaking Olympics. It’s hard to catch my breath with him. He’s always breathing down my neck to keep on going and blah, blah, blah.

I honestly don’t think I needed to lose any weight. My stomach is flat and my body is toned from a few years of Pilates. I don’t know why Ben makes me feel like I’m the fattest kid in town. But whatever, I decided that every session with him I get to reward myself with something sweet and fattening.

I know it’s naughty of me to cheat like that since I only have three months left before Greece, but I really do believe that I seriously deserve it.

Lindsey and I were busy chatting as we got our groceries in the back of her car. Once we got everything out, we walked towards our place. We both stopped chatting when we saw Carter leaning on the door, waiting.

“Emma!”

Of course, we both pretended that he didn’t exist. When we got to the door, Linds pulled out her key and opened it.

“We need to talk, Em. I’m so sorry,” The five-some lover said.

Ignore.

“Do you hear that weird sound, Em?” Lindsey asked me, amused.

I cocked my head a bit and blinked a few times, “Yeah, I think that’s the sound of a dog crying because he got his balls stomped on.”

Carter caught my arm and pulled me aside. Lindsey was about to flip a switch when I stopped her. “Go on in, this will only take a minute.” Linds nodded and closed the door behind her.

For the first time in a month, I looked at Carter’s face. I gulped, even though he’s my least favorite
person, it didn’t change the fact that he still somehow affects me. Looking away, I hissed. “I’m only giving you a minute, Carter. I suggest you make the most of it.”

Carter took hold of my chin and made me look at him. “Don’t do this, Em. We need to talk…
in private
. Not out here. Please, I’m begging you.”

“Will you leave me alone after you say your piece?” I looked at him skeptically. With Carter, it’s hard to predict if he’ll keep his promises. His mercurial personality was one of the main things that infuriated me back in the day.

He shook his head. “No, I can’t promise that. But what I can guarantee, though, is that I won’t be pestering you on a daily basis.”

Good thing he knew he has a problem with sticking to his promises. Resigned, I reluctantly nodded. “Where do you want to talk?”

“Can we talk in your room, instead?”

Let’s just get this shit out of the way. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Lindsey looked sour when I informed her that Carter and I were going to talk in my bedroom.  Once inside, I at on my bed and waited for him to speak. He was leaning against the wall, pensive. What could he be possibly say that will make anything better?

Nothing, absolutely nothing.

I started picking on the edges of my ten-year old pillow that my grandmother gave me and can’t let go of when I heard Carter.

“I know there’s nothing that I can say that will make you forgive me. I’ve been so stupid. When you told me that you were late, I started to panic. All of my doubts of becoming like my father surfaced again. It was a big reality check for me. I suddenly felt suffocated. I can’t even describe the kind of relief I felt when you told me you weren’t pregnant. Nothing mattered then because I felt free. Before I even decided to cheat on you, I knew for a fact that it would hurt you but it didn’t stop me. I do love you, Emma. But I don’t know how to accept it and live with it without getting paranoid.”

He came over and sat across from me. The bed dipped with his weight. “I’m really sorry for hurting you this way. There’s no excuse that will make anything better for you. But I love you and I will always love you. Maybe someday, when I am ready to fully accept my love for you, maybe we can try again.”

Fat chance, bitch.

When I looked up and met his eyes, I felt pain. I really wanted things to work out between Carter and me. And he just screwed it up because he couldn’t accept the fact that he loves me? LAME BALLS!

“Well, geez, this was a nice chitchat, Carter. What are you going to say next? That Cece and Amanda were your side whores while you were with me?”

“No, it was just you then, Em, and no one else.” Yeah, sure, I so believe you. Not.

Carter raked a hand through his hair and let out a long sigh. “I fucking miss you, Em. What the hell am I going to do without you? I don’t like that I love you but that doesn’t change the fact that I do. You’re all I see.”

Good
, let the ghost of me make you suffer and hound your thoughts.

My breathing hitched when he came closer and touched my cheek. Fuck!

“I’ve missed how your skin feels like when I touch it. You’re beautiful and I just wish things weren’t so fucked up.” Carter moved a little closer.

I wetted my sudden dry lips. I couldn’t do this with him. This was just too much. “Carter, you have to stop.”

“I know, but I don’t know how, Em. I don’t know how to stop…” Carter trailed off as his lips captured mine. Maybe it’d been too long or maybe I somewhat miss this stupid toad but I responded to his fevered, hungered kiss. I moaned when he pushed me down on the bed and positioned himself on top of me, grinding his hips on mine.

A knock came on the door. “Carter! You’re time’s up! You gotta scoot!” Lindsey yelled behind the door.

“Fuck!” Carter cussed against my lips.

Yeah, fuck. Thank you God for Lindsey because I was just about to submit to him again.

Getting off the bed, Carter stood up and gave me a quick kiss. I just stared at him, wide-eyed.

“I love you, Em.” After that, he stormed out and left the apartment, cussing his sister to back off before he did.

Lindsey knocked on my door before she opened it. She strolled in and sat on my bed. “I knew you were in trouble when I didn’t hear voices anymore. I just had to throw in my super life-saving skills.”

This woman is awesome! “Thank you, Lindsey. Yeah, you’re brother almost had me. Fuck! I’m so stupid.”

Lindsey gave me a quick hug. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. Carter is just stupid. He’s hurting because of what he did to you, but there is no one to blame but himself.” She kissed my forehead and left me with my thoughts.

And for the next two months, he stayed away, physically not emotionally. He would send flowers and other presents on a weekly basis and he sends me random text messages.

Carter: I love you, my Emma.

Carter: I miss you, my Emma.

Carter: I can’t stop thinking about your lips. I wish you were next to me.

Carter: I saw Pirates of the Caribbean today and couldn’t stop thinking about our Halloween together.

Carter: I bought your perfume today. I just want to smell you so close to me.

Carter: If there will come a time that I want a wife, I want that to be you. If there will come a time where I lie dying, I want your voice to be the last thing I hear. If there will come a time that I will chase after a woman, that woman will be you, Emma. I will comeback for you and I won’t stop until you say yes because it’s not over. It will never be over.

Although I ignored his messages, they were in my thoughts. I had to give him props because he was really getting through to me.

I was simply being mind-fucked.

A month before Greece…

“Emma?”

I was surprised that Carter was waiting for me outside of my class. I have seen him around school from afar, but never up close. From time to time, I could feel his hot gaze follow me around but he never approached me, until today.

“Yes, Carter? What can I do for you?” I wanted to roll my eyes but refrained from doing so. He was exasperating.

“I got an invitation to play for L.A. Galaxy for two seasons a few months back and I accepted it. We have a game next week, I was wondering if you could be there as my good luck charm and wear my jersey?”

He got invited to play for L.A. Galaxy? I was wowed, but I knew this day would come. Carter was fascinating to watch when he played. He dominates the field and I used to love watching him own it. He’s going to be a senior this year and he’s on his way in getting into MLS (Major League Soccer). His dream was to play for FIFA (
Fédération Internationale de Football Association) and win a World Cup.
I have no doubt in my mind that he will get there.

For he is one determined mother fucker.

Carter all in his jersey garb was yummy.  What I loved about him was his powerful, strong, thick thighs. They were thick, hard and all manly.  There was nothing sexier than a man who knew his craft. Carter plays with precise fluidity when he runs about with the ball on his feet armed with his accurate deadly footwork. He mastered “The Roulette” move that made the famous Zinedine Zidane, a force to be reckoned with. But what I really loved watching him do? It was his overhead bicycle trick when wants to show off before he scores a goal…and then he takes his shirt off rocking the whole fucking stadium.

I loved this man. But that was before he
screwed
it up.

“I’ll think about it. But I’m not sure about the jersey thing.” I’m not his girl anymore. He made that decision all on his own by choosing the kinky boathouse over us—
me
.

He handed me his jersey. It was in a white gift bag. I knew without even looking that it would have the number seven stitched on the back, his lucky number.

I hesitantly grabbed the bag from him. My hand tingled when our hands brushed for a second. “Thanks.”

Carter shoved his hands back inside his pockets, he looked unsure. “I guess I will see you next week then?”