Scoundrel (Lost Lords of Radcliffe Book 4) (24 page)

She was ready to do whatever he wanted to cement their bond in the swiftest way available. She wouldn’t tremble and quake like a scared ninny.

Shortly the garment was up and over her head and she was naked, but there was no reason to be unnerved. The cabin was dark, a hint of moonlight shining in the small porthole so he couldn’t actually
see
her, which made the encounter seem even more thrilling and illicit.

He drew her down again so her breasts were resting on his chest. He was wearing only his trousers so his own chest was bare too. Her nipples were pressed to his hot skin and the sensation was riveting.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered.

“So am I.”

“It was very daring of you.”

“It certainly was.”

“What spurred you to sneak in?”

“I told you. I’ve been a fool to stay away. It was ridiculous.”

“Yes, it was.”

“I was a few feet away, tossing and turning and missing you, and I decided to put myself out of my misery.”

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“I’ve corrupted you.”

“Yes.”

“Are you sorry?”

“No, why would I be? Besides, after we’re wed, we can do this all the time.”

He chuckled. “I’ve created a monster.”

“Yes, you have.”

“I wonder how I’ll keep up with you.”

“Why wouldn’t you be able to?”

“A man needs to catch his breath once in awhile.”

“Not just yet though.”

“No, not just yet.”

He began kissing her again and his hands were roaming, caressing her everywhere. He was driving her to such heights of ecstasy she couldn’t bear it.

He touched her between her legs, trifling with the sensitive spot he’d previously shown her. She was so on edge that she instantly soared to the heavens. She couldn’t help it. It had been so long since he’d held her, since they’d dallied.

She started to moan very loudly and might have cried out, which would have alerted others on the ship as to the mischief occurring. So he clapped a palm over her mouth to stifle the sound.

She spiraled up, then down, and as the agitation waned he was preening, grinning.

“You are such a gem,” he said.

“Am I?”

“Yes. The first time I laid eyes on you, I noticed all the temper and sass hidden under that black habit of yours. I knew there was a sexual creature buried in there that was begging to burst out.”

“I never had any idea.”

“Many women don’t ever realize it. It takes a man to bring it to the surface.”

“I’m lucky I met you then.”

“Think if you’d spent your whole life in the dark.”

“A truly depressing thought.”

He eased her down and she rested on his chest again, her body depleted, her limbs rubbery, her pulse racing.

Ultimately he said, “Are you still sure?”

“About what? About finishing this?”

“Yes.”

“Why must you keep asking? I’ve never been surer of anything.”

“Well, I’m going to pull you under me and once I have, I won’t be able to stop. If you panic and suddenly wish we wouldn’t proceed, it will be too late.”

“I swear I won’t panic. I’m not a silly girl fresh out of the schoolroom. I can choose what I want, and I want this. I want
you
.”

In the dim confines, she could hardly see him, but it seemed that he nodded. He slid to the side and rolled her, both of them having to maneuver carefully in the narrow space so she ended up on the bottom and he ended up on the top.

“I can’t believe I’m finally doing this,” he said.

“Doing what?”

“Making love to you. It’s what I’ve craved practically from the moment we met.”

“Not from the first moment,” she reminded him. “When we met, you were gruff, rude, and not interested in me in the slightest.”

“You were interrupting my fun and I hated to let you. But then you
became
my fun and I haven’t been the same since.”

“Neither have I.”

“Are you aware of what’s about to happen?”

“No. Rowena told me it’s very physical, but that’s about it. She wasn’t exactly clear on the details.”

He snorted with amusement. “Lord, help me. Two nuns, discussing carnal relations. Please don’t ever force me to sit through such a pathetic conversation.”

She pinched his waist and laughed. “I live in a convent. Who would have described the event? Rowena is the only one ever brave enough to talk about it.”

“She was correct that it’s physical.”

“Can you explain it to me?”

“It’s easier if I show you.”

“Whatever you want is fine by me.”

He scoffed. “When I’m such a libertine, you should never give me unbridled permission. You know I’ll take full advantage.”

“You’d better. It’s what I’m counting on.”

He sighed, his soft breath brushing her face. “My dear little, Faith, what am I to do with you?”

“Marry me, you dolt. It will solve all our problems.”

He started kissing her again, and she was immediately swept into the rising passion. There was no opportunity for her to ponder the fact that he hadn’t concurred with her comment that they would wed, that it would solve their problems.

She was overwhelmed by him, each touch electrifying, so she scarcely noticed he was unbuttoning his trousers. He tugged them down to his flanks so his loins were pressed to hers. The position was shocking and tantalizing, her anatomy seeming to weep with joy at having him so intimately situated.

He spread her thighs, his torso dropping between them so they were even more firmly connected. He slid two fingers into her sheath and stroked them in and out, in and out. He’d done it to her before, so it was a manipulation she recognized. Her hips responded, rocking gently against his hand.

Then he removed his fingers and something else was there, something bigger and wider. He wedged in the tip and she finally suffered the surge of alarm he’d warned her about. She didn’t plan to, but she instinctively tensed at the odd invasion.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m about to join my body to yours.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“One flesh, Faith, as it says in the Bible.”

“I’ve never understood that passage.”

“You’ll see in a minute.”

“It feels strange.”

“It’s always awkward in the beginning.”

He flexed, inserting the
thing
a tad deeper.

“What are you shoving into me?” she asked.

“Men and women are built differently in our private parts.”

“Rowena told me about that too. You have a sort of rod there.”

“Yes.”

“It grows hard when you’re aroused.” She scowled. “It’s hard now, so you’re…aroused?”

“Very aroused.”

“And I caused it?”

“Yes, and Faith?”

“What?”

“Please be quiet and let me finish.”

“Oh, yes of course. I’m sorry. What should I do?”

“Wrap your arms around my neck.”

“Like this?”

“Yes, and hold me tight. Try to relax.”

“I’m trying. It’s very peculiar.”

“It will be over shortly.”

They began again and he played with her nipples, driving her up and up the ladder of desire. She could feel her ardor rising, cresting. All the while, he was pushing, pushing, pushing. Suddenly bliss swept over her, and as it did, he gripped her hips and thrust fiercely.

There was a tear, a sting of pain, then…he was fully impaled.

He kept himself very still as she cataloged the sensations careening through her. Joy. Ecstasy. Terror. Fear. Contentment. Her mind was a teeming cauldron of mixed and confused emotion.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“Yes. I’m fine.”

“Just a bit more. Don’t let go of me.”

“I won’t ever let go.”

He propelled himself into her, then withdrew, entered then withdrew. It was difficult to move in the cramped space. Her head was bumping into the wall and he was banging his elbow. But he was very determined, very resolute, growing more ferocious by the second.

He gave a desperate shove and moaned low in his throat. He grappled with her, struggling to pull away for some reason, but in the tiny bunk he couldn’t manage it.

He collapsed onto her and because he was such a large man, he should have felt heavy, but he didn’t. He felt very, very welcome.

For a long while, they snuggled together, and she seemed to be very sad, which was ridiculous. She wasn’t sad. She was very, very happy. She’d reached out and secured her future. It was the one truly brave, daring act she’d ever accomplished. Why then, was she so distraught?

He turned her onto her side and spooned himself to her, his front pressed to her back all the way down. He stroked a lazy hand up and down her arm.

“Did you survive it?” he asked.

“Yes, but it was very different from how I thought it would be.”

“Told you.”

“I’m glad you didn’t try to describe it. I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“It’s definitely extraordinary.”

“I’m not a…virgin anymore, am I?”

“No, your virginity has been cast to the four winds.”

“Could I be with…child now?”

She whispered a prayer, hoping it was the case. The notion of having his babe inside her was too dear to imagine.

But he quashed her excitement by insisting, “No, you’re not with child.”

“How does it occur?”

“At the end, the man shoots a liquid seed into the woman’s womb. It causes a babe to grow.”

“And you shot this seed into my womb?”

“Yes. I didn’t mean to though. I intended to pull away, but I couldn’t.”

“So…it might have happened.”

There was an incredibly long pause, then he said, “It never happens the first time.”

She offered another prayer, yearning to be unique, to have it transpire immediately. She smiled, delighted with herself and what she’d wrought. If she was increasing, he would be even more fully bound to her.

She’d escaped from her prior life, had forged a new one with Chase. A husband! Perhaps a son or daughter! She’d never expected to have either so it was an exhilarating prospect.

Behind her, Chase yawned.

“Are you tired?” she asked.

“You wore me out. How about you? Are you exhausted?”

“Yes, I’ve just realized I’m very tired too.”

He yawned again, his body relaxing.

“What do we do now?” She wished they could lie there for all eternity.

“Now…we nap for a bit, and when we awaken we do it again.” He rose up and kissed her cheek. “Unless you’re too sore?”

“I’m not too sore.”

He plopped down and drifted off. She nestled with him, and though she was weary she couldn’t rest. She was too overwhelmed.

She had no idea how he could simply doze off. She was eager to talk and talk, to review every single detail, but he was a very typical male so most likely he’d hate to chat about it.

She stayed until the light outside began to change. Dawn was about to break, and while they were betrothed and she wasn’t ashamed of their behavior, she didn’t want others to know what they’d perpetrated until she could announce that a wedding was imminent.

She slipped off the mattress and stood gazing down at him. She couldn’t really see him, but she stared anyway.

“I love you,” she whispered.

Then she spun and, on shaky legs, tiptoed out. She returned to her lonely bunk in her own cabin. Rowena was still snoring, the girls slumbering soundly. Not a person stirred to inquire as to where she’d been.

And for the moment that was fine.

* * * *

Rowena crept off her bunk and tiptoed out of her cabin. Everyone was asleep, especially Faith who was the only one who counted. Rowena would hate to be caught, and while—at this late date—it didn’t matter, she’d rather not quarrel.

She knew Faith’s opinion about the convent, that Rowena should stay in it, and Rowena wasn’t about to explain that she had no intention of doing that.

Ralston slept in a hammock next to the galley, and they’d discovered a small closet behind it. It was simple to sneak off with him and secrete themselves away as they furtively had for much of the voyage.

The cook had likely noticed her clandestine visits though and a few of the sailors probably suspected. But she’d never see any of them again so she didn’t care what they thought about her conduct.

As she arrived at Ralston’s side, he was already watching for her. He rolled to the floor, and they clasped hands and hurried to their hiding place.

They began as they always did, with an ardent round of kissing and caressing. Each stealthy meeting was more passionate than the last. How would they ever wait until they were wed? He was adamant about the delay, and they argued over it incessantly.

“Why were you awake?” she asked as their lips finally parted.

“The crew is up and rushing about.”

There were always sailors on duty, but during the night, the ship was mostly quiet.

“Are we approaching the coast?” she inquired.

“We must be. The captain told me yesterday that we were very close.”

“So…we’re almost home.”

“Well, I am anyway. You still have some distance to go.”

“Tell me our plans. I don’t want to forget anything.”

“You’ll journey on to Scotland with Faith and the girls.”

“I wish you could travel with us.”

“I can’t afford it, and I wouldn’t pester Chase for the fare. I’m not certain he could afford it either, and I won’t make him feel guilty that he can’t pay my way.”

“I suppose we’ll be safe enough. It’s just that I’ve gotten used to having you around to protect me.”

“This is boring, stable England, Rowena, not the wilds of Africa. You’ll be fine.”

“Yes, I’m sure I will be.”

“You’ll be in Scotland before you know it.”

“You’ll send for me.”

“Yes, and let’s review. When will that occur?”

“As soon as you’re able.”

“You will never, ever become a nun—even if they tie you down and force the vows out of you.”

She chuckled. “That will never happen.”

“It might be difficult for me to find a new position.”

“I understand.”

“You will
not
grow impatient.”