Seaglass (10 page)

“Dad?” She shouted.

“In the kitchen.”

Kayla practically threw herself in his way and stopped him from opening a soup can.

“I think we can do better than a canned lunch.” She announced as she began unpacking various Tupperware containers of food. “I have homemade soup, lasagna, chicken salad, apple pie, brownies—“

“Kay, you didn’t have to go to all that trouble.” Knox said as he shuffled to the kitchen doorway.

“You. Sit.” She barked. “Are you even allowed to be standing up?”

“Sorry drill sergeant.” Knox smiled as he returned to the easy chair.

“Dad, you need to keep an eye on him. He’ll push too hard and reinjure himself.”

“I know.” Ed mumbled as he put the soup cans back in the cabinet.

Kayla looked over at her father and realized that this was one of the few times she’d ever seen him in the kitchen. She felt the constant dull pain of her mother’s passing, but for her father, his whole world had been upended.

“Sorry to be such a bull. You were doing fine.” She smiled and laid her head on his shoulder as they worked side by side unpacking the food.

“Cooking was never my thing.” He shrugged.

“Well, it’s my thing, so I’m happy to do it.” She said as she heated the homemade chicken noodle soup in a saucepan.

“That’s a deal.”

“So, how is he, anyway?”

“Seems okay. Won’t talk about it though.”

“Talk about what? I thought it was an accident?”

Ed exhaled, long and slow. “I went back to the house to see for myself. ‘Course by the time I got there Maddie had a whole crew getting that oil tank out and backfilling the hole.”

“I guess that’s good.”

“Thing is…it was right there—impossible to miss. Knox said they hadn’t roped it off, but I saw caution tape lying on the ground.”

“What are you saying?” Kayla asked with a cold stab of fear in her heart.

“I don’t think he saw it.”

Kayla didn’t respond. Her mind was too jumbled absorbing what her father had said. This was what they all feared, but rarely let themselves think about. She looked over at her brother who was half asleep in the recliner. She’d let him rest for now, but the time for talking was coming, and coming soon.

“Kay?” Knox called out.

Kayla shook off her mood and walked into the family room. “Yeah?”

“Have you heard from her?”

Kayla knew, of course, who the ‘her’ was. Madeline. After those first few days after surgery when Madeline had been a constant fixture by his side, she’d disappeared. Knox had been in the ICU then and was still out of it enough not to notice that she’d gone.

Madeline had texted Kayla explaining that she’d had a family emergency back east and to please keep her updated on Knox. Kayla had promised immediately.

Kayla opened her mouth to speak, but the ringing of a cell phone cut her off. Knox reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, checking the caller ID.

“Well, speak of the devil.” He smiled broadly as he answered.

“Hey you.”

“Hi.”

“Where’ve you been?”

“Can I come over?”

He frowned at the sound of her voice. She sounded so hesitant and distant. “Sure. I’m at my Dad’s.”

“I’ll be there around five o’clock?”

“I’ll be here.”

“Bye.”

xXx

After an afternoon nap Knox was feeling decidedly more himself. He pushed up from the bed and was pleased to only have a few twinges of pain in his side. As it was, he only had to wait a few more days for another chest x-ray and if he got the all-clear, he could go home.

Knox stared at himself in the mirror and squinted, trying to bring his image into focus. He’d ignored that feeling in the pit of his stomach as he moved closer to the mirror. His eyes weren’t good—that was already common knowledge, but was there more to it? He didn’t think so. The fall had been an honest-to-goodness accident. Hadn’t it?

A knock on the bedroom door had him whipping around just in time to see Madeline peek her head around the door.

“Come in.” He waved her in.

She stepped in and stole his breath. She was dressed in a black business suit with a cranberry blouse showing at the top of her buttoned up jacket. Her long legs were encased in charcoal colored hosiery and she was wearing elegant and very sexy black high heels.

“Wow.” He stopped short.

“Hi.”

When he finally dragged his eyes from her body and to her face, he was immediately alarmed.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“My mother had a heart attack.” She said simply.

“What?” He touched her hand gently. “Here, sit.” He commanded as he gestured to the small sitting area in the bedroom.

She sat down and he carefully lowered himself to sit next to her.

“What happened?”

“She collapsed at home. They took her to the hospital. She had surgery.”

“When? Why didn’t you call me?”

“Tuesday. You were still in the ICU.”

“Jesus, Maddie.”

She dropped her head. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” He reached out and touched her cheek. “Maddie?”

“How are you? Are you okay?” She looked up and into his eyes.

“I’m fine. I’ll be home next week.”

“I’ve never been so scared in my life—seeing you down there—“she broke off the words, unable to continue.

Knox watched her close her eyes against the memory. He wished he could erase it from her mind forever.

“How did you find out about your mom?”

“My brother called. I flew out the next day. I just got back this morning.”

“I’m so sorry, Maddie. I wish I could’ve gone with you.”

“Me too.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I didn’t want to worry you. Besides, I think you had enough to think about.” She smiled and touched his cheek. “I’m so happy to see you.” She finally let a tear fall. “I’m so sorry. I want you to know, that if you want to…sue…I have insurance.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The hole. It wasn’t properly roped off…you can sue me.”

“Are you nuts? I’m not suing you.”

“I’m gonna pay for all your bills, though. Medical plus time off from work…I insist.” She swallowed hard.

Knox smirked. He couldn’t help it. “No, you won’t.”

“But—“

“I have money, Maddie.”

“No, you shouldn’t have to pay—“

“Maddie, I have plenty of money.”

“But—“

“You know those custom pieces I do for clients?”

“Yeah?”

“They pay me a lot for them.”

“Oh.” She said as she leaned back into the cushions of the couch.

“Are you rich?”

“Let’s just say I’m not hurtin’”

“I wouldn’t say that.” She touched his side gently. “Can I do anything for you?”

He wagged his eyebrows at her and had her laughing. “I can think of some things…”

“I don’t think those are doctor recommended.”

They stayed silent for a moment, facing each other. Finally, he reached out and touched her hand. “I’m sorry about your mom.”

Madeline looked away and out the window. It was raining now and she watched as a fat drop of rain slid down the glass.

“She’s still in the hospital.”

He puzzled over that statement, but let it go, for now. “You can stay here with me, if you like.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “I don’t think that’s doctor recommended either.”

“When I’m out of here, you can stay with me.”

“I’ll come over when you’re better. I don’t want to—“

“No. I’m bumbling this.” He stopped and ran a hand through his messy blonde hair. “I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while. It doesn’t have anything to do with the accident or your mom.”

She tilted her head in a gesture that he found endearing.

“I wanted to ask you if you’d like to move in with me.”

He watched as her confusion turned to embarrassed pleasure. “Are you—“

“Sure? Yes.”

“I’d like that.” She smiled shyly.

“Well good. I’m glad that’s settled.”

“I’d better go. I have to unpack. I left everything in such a rush.” She stood and smoothed out her pencil skirt.

“I know it’s probably not good to say this, but you look nice in that suit.”

Madeline looked down at herself and then back at him. “Thanks for saying that, but I hate wearing it.”

“I didn’t mean it like that—“

“I know. I know.” She bent down and gently hugged him.

He pulled back from her hug, but then held her head with his hands and kissed her.

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Call me tomorrow, okay.”

“Okay.” She said as she slipped out the door.

“I’m almost ready to go. Do you need anything?”

He walked over to the kitchen where Madeline was filling her travel mug with coffee. “Nope.”

“What are you going to do today?”

“Is that your round-a-bout way of asking me if I’m gonna work in the woodshop?”

“Maybe?” She laughed and screwed on the top of her mug. She put it down and moved over to where he leaned on the door frame. Ever careful of his incision and healing ribs, she gently wrapped her arms around his middle and laid her head on his shoulder.

“I’ll be careful.”

“Hmm. That’s evasive.”

“You need to trust me, Maddie. Believe me, the last thing I want to do is reinjure myself.”

“I know.” She said as another wave of guilt swept over her. She knew he had a deadline for a custom order looming.

“Hey.” He pulled her back and held her by the shoulders. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.” She countered.

“I’m on my way. People get hurt, you know. It’s part of life.” He reasoned.

In her head, she knew he was right, but her heart still squeezed with fear when she thought of him lying in the bottom of that hole; unmoving.

“I’d better go. It’s painting day.”

“Fun.”

“I like it. We’re almost at the end and Kayla’s bugging me to get it on the market.”

“Sounds like her.” He laughed.

“Be good.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

xXx

Knox let her go and then went into his bedroom and changed out of the well-worn jeans and thermal shirt he’d thrown on this morning in favor of more appropriate attire to visit his ophthalmologist. Kayla would be here soon and he wanted to get this over and done with before Maddie was back home at the end of the day.

He was just stepping outside and locking the door when Kayla pulled up to the curb.

“Wow. I don’t think I’ve seen you in anything besides jeans…or a hospital gown…in years.”

“Very funny.” He said as he carefully slid into the passenger seat of her BMW.

Kayla didn’t say anything as she watched her brother wince as he reached back for the seatbelt. She drove out of town and then settled onto the highway for the hour long drive to Knox’s eye specialist. She didn’t comment when he asked her to drive him and she didn’t comment when he said he’d rather not tell his father or Maddie that he moved his appointment up by a few months.

It was only when they neared the exit, she finally spoke.

“Do you wanna tell me about why we’re doing this?”

He looked over at his sister and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “I want to know why I didn’t see that damn hole.”

xXx

“It’s getting worse, isn’t it?” Knox spoke to the doctor.

“Let me run a few tests.” Dr. Haas answered, noncommittally as he held the ophthalmoscope to Knox’s left eye. “You should’ve come in as soon as you noticed changes in your visual field.” He scolded mildly.

“I thought maybe it was just strain.”

The doctor said nothing; only continued to scribble in Knox’s chart. Finally he looked up. “Let’s get you into a gown so we can run some tests.”

Knox exhaled slowly and tried to keep himself from hyperventilating. He reached up and began unbuttoning his shirt for the barrage of tests he’d become so familiar with.

By the end of the exhausting day, he sat, once again, in the doctor’s office, dressed in his own clothes. His head was pounding like a jackhammer. Knox watched as the doctor opened a file and pulled out several pages of charts and diagrams. Finally, he looked up. Knox had the urge to run out of the room before the man could speak.

“The deficit has increased.”

Knox felt his mouth dry up instantly. He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair. “By how much?” He finally croaked.

“The deficit is significant. There are significant changes on your MRI.”

“What kind of changes?”

“As you know, your visual anomaly is due to your traumatic brain injury.”

“Yeah, I remember.” Knox muttered as he slid lower in his chair.

“Looking at the results of your MRI, I’m seeing a decrease in brain activity in the traumatized portion. I’m sorry.”

“So, you’re saying it’s gotten worse?”

“Yes.”

“What about—“Again, his throat had become the Sahara desert. “What about the rest of my brain?”

“Your scans were clean, there. Only the area that was originally injured has been affected.

Knox felt his heart unclench just a fraction. “Is it going to get worse? I mean, worse than this?”

“It’s hard to say, Knox. You could go through another prolonged period of stability, or the deficit might continue to increase.”

“Great.” He mumbled as he rubbed his temple in a vain attempt to stave off a migraine.

“Knox, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but there is quite a lot available to you in the way of adaptive technology and support. I think you need to invest your time and energy into a rehab program.”

Now he felt like he was going to throw up. “You think I’m going to be blind?”

The doctor stopped reading and looked abruptly. “Legally, you already are.”

Knox stood up so quickly that his chair tipped over behind him. “I can still see, Doc.”

“Very few blind people are totally without vision. Most have some sort of residual eyesight. You are now in that category and…you qualify for certain types of resources. I can help you with the paperwork.”

“What?” Knox felt like he couldn’t process the doctor’s words.

“For insurance purposes, we can get you admitted right away. Littleton has one of the finest programs in the country.”

“I…don’t know…I’ll let you know.” Knox stood up and turned toward the door.

“Knox. I wish I could give you hard facts. I’m sorry. But it’s time to prepare.”

“I gotta go.” He said as he pulled the door open and stepped through, searching for Kayla’s beacon of bright hair.

“Ready?” He said, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Knox.” The door behind him opened suddenly and the doctor reappeared. He looked from Kayla to Knox and held back whatever argument he’d prepared. “Here’s the documentation I was talking about.”

Knox reached out and took the brightly colored pamphlets from him. “Okay. Thanks.”

“I’ll have my office give you a call for a follow-up visit.”

Knox nodded and thankfully the doctor returned to his office and shut the door.

“What the heck was that about?” Kayla asked as they walked down the hallway toward the elevator.

“Not now.”

“Knox—“

“Can we just get out of here first?” He asked tiredly.

Kayla was about to protest when the elevator doors opened and revealed a small crowd of people. She and Knox stepped forward and rode silently down to the garage level.

Once safely inside the car, she turned to him. “Okay, spill it.”

“Kay—“

“Please Knox. You’re shaking. What did he say?”

Knox didn’t answer except to thrust the pamphlets in her direction. He leaned his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes as he listened to Kayla thumbing through the paperwork.

“Your eyes are bad enough that it’s time for this?” She said as she held up the brochure for the Colorado Center for the Blind.

“They got worse, but no one seems to know how much worse they’re gonna get. He thinks I should be prepared—“his voice cracked.

“Oh Knox.” She said; tears shimmering in her own eyes. “What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know.”

xXx

Knox ran on the treadmill at full speed and relished in the fact that he could fully expand his lungs without even the hint of pain. It had been more than two months since the accident and it was all but a memory—at least for him. He knew Maddie still carted guilt around her neck like a millstone. She’d kept him away from her new jobsite, a rundown, turn of the century colonial on the edge of town, with various excuses. It seemed to ease her mind to know that he was safe and sound tucked away in his house, so he’d relented, for now.

“Knox?”

He hit the stop button on the machine and let it slow down. Hopping off, he grabbed a towel and slung it around his neck.

“Knox?”

“Back here, Kay.” He said as he glugged down water.

“You’re all sweaty.” She said as she made a face.

As usual, she looked like she’d just drifted in on an autumn breeze. Today, it was a rust colored dress with a kind of spiky belt at her waist.

“What’s up sis?”

“I came to get Maddie. I’m showing her some new potential flips.” She said as she practically danced around the center island of the kitchen.

“She went out for bagels. She’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“I guess your ribs are all better.” She gestured to him with her water bottle she’d gotten out of his fridge.

“Yep. Good as new.”

“What about your eyes? How are they?” She asked.

Knox knew she wouldn’t let it go. His sister was like a dog with a bone sometimes. “Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Yeah. Fine.” He challenged.

“Knox—“

He was about to tell her to mind her own business when they both turned at the sound of the screen door opening and Maddie’s voice carrying through. The odd tone in her voice caught his attention immediately and he rounded the corner to see her with her cell cradled against her shoulder.

“
I understand.”

“
I’ll be on the first flight.”

“
Dad—“

“
That’s not fair.”

“
I’m not discussing that.”

“
I’ll see you then.”

“What is it?” The brother and sister asked simultaneously.

Maddie pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it; unsure of what she was supposed to do with it.

“My mother.” She said simply.

“Is she…” Knox trailed off.

“She’s dying.”

xXx

Madeline sat on the plane feeling decidedly numb. Her mother had been readmitted to the hospital and given only weeks to live. Her heart was failing. She tried to conjure up an emotion and came up empty. She loved her mother fiercely, but those were childhood feelings. It was only as she got older did she learn the truth that her mother’s love had limits.

Of course it didn’t make the love any less real, but still, it was not enough.

She’d asked her mother point blank once why she hadn’t protected her from her father. He’d mentally and emotionally abused her for most of her life and her mother had borne witness to it all, yet she’d never intervened. When Madeline had finally mustered up the courage to confront her mother, she’d turned it around on Madeline and berated her for lying and exaggerating.

Once she’d begun intensive therapy, she’d learned all about the mental games her family played on each other and on themselves. Her mother was the classic ‘enabler.’ She smoothed the waters and made excuses. When that didn’t work, she launched attacks of her own using weapons like blaming the victim, rewriting history, and denial.

Madeline had given up on ever getting through to her mother. She’d tried to love her and forgive her for not protecting her, but it had been hard—in fact it had been all but impossible. Now, her mother was dying, but to Madeline, it felt like she’d been dead for years.

She gathered her things and exited the aircraft searching for her brother. It only took a moment to spot him; his expensive suit and haircut, his shiny shoes. He looked exactly like their father. Madeline exhaled deeply and walked to meet him.

“Looking a little lesbian, aren’t we?”

Madeline looked down at her attire. She was still wearing the jeans and flannel shirt she’d dressed in this morning when she thought she’d be house hunting with Kayla. The thought of sitting in Kayla’s car, brought an immediate stab of tears to her eyes.

“Good to see you too, Peter.” She responded dryly, shoring up her emotions and putting on her best game face.

“Let’s get your luggage so you can change before you see mom.”

“Yes, wardrobe is of the upmost importance when visiting someone on their deathbed.” She retorted as she walked ahead of him toward baggage claim.

xXx

Madeline stepped into her mother’s hospital room. It was cast in shadow with the only light coming from a small lamp on the bedside table.

Her mother lay completely flat on the bed with only a single pillow under her head. Her small body was so still. Madeline moved around the foot of the bed and sat near her mother’s head as she slept. She looked so different. Usually a nervous woman whose hands were perpetually in motion, now she seemed so peaceful and quiet. It was all together unsettling.

“Madeline?”

Madeline stood up moved forward so that she could see her mother’s face.

“Hi mom.”

“What are you doing here?”

Madeline was taken aback. “I came to see you.”

“There’s no need. I’m fine.” She said with an air of annoyance.

“I’m still glad I’m here.” She smiled as she reached out and touched her mother’s hand. It felt strangely boney in her grasp. “How are you?”

“She’s in need of rest. That’s how she is.” Her father’s precise, haughty voice answered from the doorway.

“Hi Dad.”

“I certainly hope you haven’t upset your mother.”

Madeline stood up tall and crossed her arms over her chest. “I can’t imagine how seeing me would upset her.”

Madeline watched as her father raised an eyebrow. “That depends on the circumstances of your return.”

“James.” Her mother said sternly, with strength that belayed her condition.

Madeline watched the tiniest emotion cross her father’s face as whatever miniscule power her mother still wielded took hold.

“I think you should go.” James spoke.

Madeline said nothing in response but bent down and kissed the top of her mother’s head.