SEAL: A BWWM BAD BOY NAVY SEAL ROMANCE (13 page)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CALI

Deshawn pulled cautiously into the parking lot of Bayside
Fitness. It was starting to fill up with the 5 o’clock, after-work crowd.

“There’s my car. The black Fiat. Thanks for the ride back. And
thanks for the advice Deshawn. It was really good seeing you, again…”

“For what it’s worth,” Deshawn cast his eyes downward, “I’m
sorry about the things I did to you. I was a stupid kid, and I made mistakes.”

“I forgave you a long time ago… And look at you now. Married,
kids. I’m just glad to see you doing so well,” I replied.

I gave Deshawn an innocent peck on the cheek and exited his
sedan; his tan, nondescript, blah sedan. It fit perfectly with his personality.

“It was great seeing you too, Cali. Let’s get together again,
soon!”

We both knew that wasn’t likely given the time since our last
talk, but I nodded anyway.

Climbing behind the wheel of my car, I opened the windows and
moon roof to let in the evening breeze. I knocked the stick-shift into reverse,
and started backing out of my space. But, I had to hit the brakes suddenly,
when I noticed my client, Travis, looming in my rear-view mirror.
Great! Just what I needed!
He had his
arms folded accusingly across his ginormous, barrel chest and a big, smug smirk
on his stupid dork face. He was shouting over the sound of my engine:

“That’s real nice. So, you cancelled my PT appointment today,
so you could be with your new boyfriend, huh?”

I dismissed him as quickly as I could, yelling back at him
out of the window:

“Hi Travis. He’s not my boyfriend at all. I needed some
advice and he’s
kindof
an old friend. I’m sorry I had
to cancel on you. I had some personal stuff to tend to, that’s all.”

“Well next time you need
advice,
you
know I’m always here for you…”

“And maybe next time I’ll call you,” I replied, feigning a
big smile. “See you later, Travis!”

As I tore out of the parking lot and headed for home, I
wondered if I knew
any
normal men. My
thoughts went back to lunch with Deshawn.
What
in the world happened to him? When did he get so damn boring?

I knew he’d gotten married, I saw that much on Facebook, but
I didn’t realize just how suburban his life had become. 2.5 kids and a white
picket fence… That was Deshawn now. Thankfully, he was still a decent shoulder
to cry on.

“So Cali… It’s nice catching up and all, but… We haven’t
talked in over six years. Why did you call me?” he finally asked, cutting the
small-talk short.

I was almost too embarrassed to say, but I screwed my head
back on tight and let it out.

“I need some relationship advice, and I can’t talk to my
friends.”

He laughed at that, shaking his head. “You’re going to ask me
for advice, after everything I did?”

“It’s in the past. We didn’t work and I didn’t have the
courage to say so.”

Deshawn just shook his head.

“Alright, so what’s the problem?”

I told him everything… I told him about meeting Devlin, and
about the years since. I told him about the way he seemed to like me one
minute, but the next minute he was just talking about having a little fun…

“Let me ask you a question,” he finally said, cutting me off.
“Do you like him?”

I nodded.

“And do you think he likes you?”

I nodded again…

“Maybe it’ll work out, maybe it won’t. You know what I do
know? You’ll hate yourself if you don’t give this a real try. I say give him a
chance. A real chance…”

Thinking back, I’m pretty sure I wanted him to tell me I was
being silly…

As I drove distractedly through downtown San Diego, I
realized there was definitely something else that I couldn’t quite put my
finger on. My mental quandary became so severe, that it caused me to remain at a
traffic light, well after it turned green. Naturally, all three drivers behind
me honked their impatience at me. I flipped them off, proceeded through the light
and resumed my deliberation as I entered the northbound Cabrillo Freeway.

For several more miles, I thought deeply about why I was
attracted to Devlin until I became totally distracted by the sweeping beauty of
the Cabrillo Bridge as I drove under it for the
gazillionth
time in my life. I never got tired of looking up at its graceful arches as I motored
along the scenic State Route 163, through the Balboa Park and zoo area. The stunning
piece of architecture excited me, each and every time I saw it, from any angle
and from every perspective.

And that’s when I finally realized I was the one who never
changed. Devlin excited me each and every time I saw him. Just like that
bridge. I never saw him any differently. I never took the time to look at the
ways it was different. At the patina that had subtly changed its color over the
years and made that bridge even more beautiful…

The Devlin I saw was a playboy, a badass… Someone who could
never be in a real relationship with me… He caused my heart to skip a beat. He
was
wildly
exciting.

But maybe that wasn’t fair…

I was afraid to see the change in him. He seemed more
controlled. More caring… I was still treating him like the one night stand I
wanted six years ago instead of giving this relationship a chance to grow.

Something in me had truly crossed over. And not just sexually,
either. Although, god knows Devlin would be a tough act for any man to follow,
in that department. I realized his passion for life really had a positive
effect on me. I had acquired an insatiable taste for it.

I chuckled at how thrilled momma would be to hear that bit of
news: Mom, guess what! I can only date reformed but dangerous bad-boys now! Yay
Me!

She was still at work when I got home. At least, I assumed
she was. I checked my phone messages to see if there was anything from her:
Five messages? I wondered why I hadn’t heard my phone ring, and then I
remembered I had put it on vibrate in the restaurant. Obviously, I had
forgotten to turn the sound back on.

The three pups were hungry and salivating for their dinner,
so I fed them first. Then I listened to my five voicemails from mom. They were
pretty much all the same: “Hi honey, this is mom. Call me
…..
I have some stuff to tell you. Talk to you soon. Love you. Bye.”

Since I figured we’d be talking face to face momentarily, I
decided against calling her. I shot her a text, though, out of consideration:

“I’m home making dinner. Talk 2 u then. C u soon.
 
Luv u”

Momma immediately replied with:

“Heading home now. Love you too.”

Since I wasn’t very hungry, due my heavy lunch, I figured mom
might also be feeling the same way.

Overstuffing oneself on restaurant food really had a way of killing
a person’s appetite. A light salad seemed like enough, so I threw a bunch of
romaine lettuce in a large bowl and added leftover grilled Teriyaki chicken and
various veggies. Then, I mixed up a honey balsamic vinaigrette dressing and
popped open a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

Within minutes, the enthusiastic, high-pitched yaps of Huey,
Dewey and Louie told me my mom was pulling into the driveway. She was
practically bubbling over with giddiness as she came through the door.

“I had the best day, sweetie. I can’t wait to tell you about
it! Oh my god! You must have read my mind! I was thinking how great a salad
would be for dinner! And the wine! Perfect! You’re the best!”

Momma poured us both a glass of wine and carried the salad
over to the dining room table. She wasted no time with small talk, and immediately
started right in about her lunch with Congressman Danes:

“Cali, you would not believe what a nice guy Richard is. I
guess I had the completely wrong idea about him all these years. He’s very
smart actually, and very handsome in person. We’re going to have another
meeting later this week.”

Richard? She’s calling him Richard, now?

“Mom, you didn’t tell him anything
…..
about anything, did you?
  
 

“You mean about you not seeing Devlin anymore? Or how you
feel about him, now? No, of course not, honey. He sure didn’t act like he knew
about that, anyway, so I didn’t talk about it either. I didn’t want to take a
chance on that influencing any future dates…. uh… meetings with him.

“You’re going to meet with him
again?”

Mom shoveled a large forkful of salad into her mouth before
answering.

“Yes. He said he had to check his calendar, but he thought he
might have an opening later this week. He was very interested in my ideas.”

Uh huh
….I’ll
bet he was……

 
I poured myself
another glass of wine, since I seemed to have slammed down the first one a bit
quickly.

“So, is that the urgent news you kept calling me about today?
Sorry, I missed you, by the way, I had my phone on vibrate.”

“No. That was only part of it, actually. I was calling
because I thought you might be interested in the stuff Richard said about
Devlin. He went on for quite awhile about him.”

Of course I was interested in any inside information I could
get that might help enlighten me on that frustrating, mind-boggling man. But I
didn’t want to act like a silly school girl about it in front of my mother. So,
I feigned indifference the best I could.

I used my best “I don’t give a shit” voice and barely looked
up from my plate, pretending it really didn’t matter either way:

“Oh yeah? What kind of nonsense did
he say?”

“He said Devlin is crazy about you, Cali, and that his
feelings for you are special and different because you’re unlike any woman he’s
ever been with in his whole life. He said he couldn’t believe the positive
changes he had already seen in his son just since he met you… And he confided
in me that he had a feeling that YOU would be the one he would finally end up
settling down with.”

Mom paused for dramatic effect, and then added smugly:

“Just nonsense like that, that’s all.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

DEVLIN

What a wasted week. I could barely even remember any of it.
Between the booze and the pain pills it was pretty much a blurry haze. During
the day, I was a hermit, staying mostly in my room, watching TV and eating junk
food. The nights were spent binge drinking at all the local bars around my
house.

I hardly saw my father or Carl all week, mostly because I
went out of my way to avoid both of them.
Plus
my dad
was making me sick with all the “meetings” he was having with Amari Jamison. I
never knew him to have meetings on Saturday nights, before. Why didn’t he just
admit it? He was clearly dating her.

I couldn’t even remember the last time I had exercised or
done any kind of physical therapy. I hadn’t even done my daily morning squats
or step-ups. And I hadn’t even begun to look for a new therapist. My knee was
stiff and ached all the time and my mind tortured me with self-destructive
thoughts. Predictably, I took the easy road and dulled both pains in typical
Devlin Danes fashion; self-medication. Some Navy SEAL I was...

 
I had essentially
returned to my old self, the way I was before I had met Cali in every way
except for one, that is… I couldn’t bear the thought of being with any other
woman. I just didn’t want anyone else.

The girls were as plentiful as ever; throwing themselves at
me in the bars like always. But now, they all paled in comparison to her. There
seemed to be no way to get over her. And it wasn’t getting any easier.

That is, until a friend finally opened my eyes for me, back
at good old Miguel’s Cantina. Yes, sad to say, the profound insight into the woman
who was causing me the worst pain I had ever known, worse than any war wound,
came from my stoner bartender amigo, Cody.

After a long, hard day of doing next to nothing, I went back
to Miguel’s. Of course, I also went for more sympathy and tequila. Cody bought
me another shot.

We were having our usual good time talking and laughing, but
before long, I started blathering on about Cali again; about how badly it hurt
me when I realized that she didn’t truly want me for real, just because she thought
I didn’t want a serious relationship with her.

“She actually thought I didn’t respect her and that I only
wanted her for a ‘good time.’ Can you believe that? How in the fuck could she
think that?”

“What did she say when you told her she was wrong about that?
 

“What do you mean, Cody?”

“You know…… when you told her how you really felt about her.
What did she say then?”

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks alongside the head: I
had NEVER told her she was totally wrong.

I didn’t tell her how I felt about her at all. As a matter of
fact, all of my stupid words and actions had completely underscored her
assumption and proved her right.
Holy
Shit! I’m a fucking moron!

Cody must have read my mind, because he started laughing.

“You never told her? What the fuck, Devil-Man? You’re not too
fuckin’ bright are you?”

As my anger started welling up in me again, I leaned across
the bar, and grabbed him by the neck of his t-shirt. All of a sudden, I
realized I was really
just
 
angry
at myself; not Cody. Then,
in a move that took us both by surprise, I wrapped an arm around and gave him a
pat on the back.

“Thanks, man. I can’t thank you enough. Here, take this
please.”

I reached into my wallet, whipped out a
hundred
dollar
bill and put it in Cody’s hand.

“No way, dude! A hundred dollars? What’s this for? What did I
do?”

“You saved my life, that’s what you did!”