Authors: Sharon Hamilton
Part of him was proud he’d finally said it to someone. The other part of him was holding tight to the edge of his imaginary flak vest.
Devon turned away, exposing her utterly perfect, velvety ass cheek and the profile of her flat tummy and heaving chest. He was used to controlling himself, but damn, it was such a turn-on to see her stand here in his room, his inner sanctum. He should have said something, because she folded her arms, rounded her shoulders and stared at the ground.
Come back to me, angel.
He knew whatever he did wasn’t going to help. He also knew that if she was going to be someone he could build a life with, she’d have to take him the way he was.
She turned back to him and he could see her eyes were filled with tears.
“It hurt.”
“I know, sweetheart. If you could see inside my heart, you’d know it wasn’t anything—I didn’t mean—”
Christ Almighty! He’d yelled instructions to a bunch of young Marines who were too scared to move a muscle but were going to get blown up any minute. He’d watched people literally explode in strings of red spray right in front of him, and he knew what to do, what to say, who to grab and how to protect himself. Standing here, naked, in front of Devon, he did not know what to do. He just wished she’d come back of her own accord, because that’s the only thing that would work.
“I didn’t need to be reminded.”
“I understand, baby.” He wasn’t going to ask her to come over. He was just going to be there in case she wanted to come back. It sucked, but that was the way it had to work.
She looked up at him like a scared little girl.
“What is it, Devon? What’s going on?” He could not understand why she wouldn’t let it go.
“I have a hard time trusting men.”
He wasn’t going to ask, but there was something there she’d not told him. Something lurking just below the surface.
“I had a really bad experience with someone I thought was really nice.”
“Go on.”
“He turned out to be a monster, Nick. I thought he was single. One night he tried to—”
“You don’t have to tell me, baby.” He was shivering. He waited a safe few seconds and then asked her, “Are you cold?”
She just stood there, focused hard somewhere he wished he could go. He wanted to relieve her pain. He wasn’t sure he should force anything. She appeared to be in a delicate place.
Oh, fuck it.
He didn’t want her to suffer alone, leave him out of her private thoughts. “Let’s just sit down and walk this back a bit, okay? Take it slow?”
She nodded her head.
He sat on the edge of the mattress, and extended his arms out to her. He wanted to give her as much space as she needed. He was rewarded when she sat her sweet little derriere on his thighs and leaned her face against his chest. He enveloped her in his arms, stroking her hair.
“I met him at a nonprofit fundraiser. He was a local attorney in town. Very successful. I thought he wore a wedding ring when first I met him. I was in college. I didn’t date at all in high school.”
“Um hum.”
“But we talked about things, and I just fell in love with the guy, or thought I did. He had a way about him, and I just thought he was you know, special. I thought he really cared for me.”
She arched back and looked deep into Nick’s eyes. “I
thought
I was in love, Nick, but I wasn’t.”
Nick liked it that she wanted him to know that she didn’t consider the infatuation love, that it would make some difference to him.
And it did.
He waited.
“Before we could—Nick we hardly even kissed, I was so scared. He was a lot older than I was. He just knew how to play me. I think he was grooming me. I think he did that kind of thing all the time.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he looked into her beautiful dark eyes.
She inhaled and placed her soft face against his chest again, her hair tickling his chin and neck.
“He’d been very patient. He’d rented a room I didn’t know about. We had dinner downstairs, he invited me up to show me something. I should have known what he had in mind. I barely got out of the elevator before he was on me.”
She paused, tears softly travelling down her cheeks.
“He’d drugged me at dinner. I was getting light-headed, but still I fought him off. He dragged me to the room. Somehow, I screamed. He got angry. My clothes were in shreds.”
Nick rubbed the back of her neck, kissing the side of her face. “Go ahead, tell me. Did he rape you, Devon?” He braced himself for the truth he hoped would not be.
“No.”
He was relieved, but now he wanted to kill the son of a bitch who had done this to her.
“Someone heard me. Nick, I was naked. He’d tied me up. Thank God security broke in. I didn’t stop screaming until they’d hauled him away.”
She was sobbing against his chest. Nick’s heart was breaking for her. No wonder she’d turned into an ice princess. It should never have happened to her.
“So what happened to him?”
“I had to endure the whole trial. In the end, he was convicted. I had to testify, staring into the faces of his wife and her sister. It was awful. They said horrible things about me, things that weren’t true.”
“And so you saved yourself for me, baby.”
She placed her hands on the sides of his face. Her delicious scent surrounded him, wove inside and through him, around him, everywhere. She was all the good things he’d ever imagined in a woman. The look of love itself. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anyone. But he’d have to be patient, wait for her to learn to trust.
And that was definitely something new. But not anything he’d be able to tell her right now.
“I can only give you what I have to give you, Nick. No more.”
“And that’s all I want, sweetheart. That’s all I want.”
He kept the kiss tentative, proper. She pressed against him and quickly moved to a deeper place. Her mewling sounds drove him crazy, especially with her little ass on his thighs.
“I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere,” he said.
This ignited something inside her because all of a sudden she was all over him. She moved her knees to the sides and sat straddled over him. He brushed the tender skin on her rear, feeling her silk healing everything inside him that hurt.
“God, I’m sorry he hurt you, baby,” he whispered back.
She leaned back onto the mattress, looking up at him. Her soft eyes were filled with pain, but he could see her spirit, the bravery in her soul. She must have been scared to death of him, the way he’d come waltzing into her life like he was the only thing that mattered on the planet. He suddenly realized she’d been damaged, and was bravely trying to deal with it all. He saw her need in the darkness, felt it as if they shared a sixth sense.
“You tell me what to do, and I’m here for you, baby. We can slow it down. What do you want?”
“I don’t want to slow down. I don’t want to hide anything from you ever again. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to—”
“Shhh. Nonsense. You are more beautiful to me now than ever before. Thank you for telling me the truth, baby. I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.”
She rose up, climbing on top of him slowly, carefully, like the delicate creature she was. He let her take the lead but helped her, raising her hips, rubbing her nub. As she sat back down on his girth, she kept her fingers there at their joining. She encircled him tight and he thought he’d explode.
He allowed himself the luxury of letting her pleasure him. He could feel how important it was to her that, even with all the pain she was in, she needed to give him something special.
Her trust.
As they rode the ship of their pleasure together, he matched her. Danced with her, gave her back the pleasure she was giving him unselfishly. No fancy room with an ocean view. No fancy sheets smelling of lavender and vanilla and candles flickering. That’s when it hit him. He loved her more than he wanted to have sex with her.
Chapter 22
Devon was happy Marc came to visit because it took her mind off her missing Nick. She’d gone to San Diego to see if there was a place in her life with him there. Odd that she found that in his bed, in his plain apartment, she found the real Nick that she knew she loved. She’d shared the one thing in the world she was most ashamed of, and he’d listened. Didn’t force himself on her, and that brought out all the best in her. It was like her soul had walked through some little doorway to the rest of her life.
But she still missed him terribly.
The property inspections were conducted without incident. She kept looking around her, expecting something unexpected to happen, but, to her great relief, nothing did.
Marc was tender with Sophie. Devon tried not to listen to them when she was alone in her room at night. How Sophie chose to spend her last days was her business, Devon thought. Was something private she would only share with Marc, which was as it should be. What exactly went on between them was something that meant a great deal to Sophie, and Devon was grateful Nick’s honorable friend could be there for her.
So much was already being taken away from Sophie. Devon was glad she was granted the dignity of a very private and loving farewell relationship.
Marc had to return to San Diego at the end of the ten-day emergency leave. It was a more tearful farewell than she’d had with Nick. That’s when she realized Sophie wanted to say goodbye to Marc now, rather than on her deathbed.
Devon wondered if she’d have that much courage, when her time came.
It had been three weeks since Nick and the team had gone back to San Diego, two weeks since her trip to visit him. She was excited now that the escrow was nearly ready to close. The Hallbergs had just a few more inspection reports to review, but the loan was conditionally approved, since the appraisal had come in higher than the purchase price.
Sophie’s condition seemed to stabilize, but Devon was grateful for the hospice care, which allowed her to wash and have a clean bed to rest in. Devon didn’t have to worry about her condition as she worked. The brother and sister from Fiji had become like family.
The moon was high and stars made a fine blanket background when Devon turned into Matanzas Creek Nursery’s long gravel driveway. Devon had been rushing. Her clients had made her a full two hours late. She’d tried to text Sophie, but she didn’t get a text or call back.
She’s probably asleep.
Gray-white smoke hit her windshield. Little pieces of ash stuck and then were sloughed off to the sides by her wipers. The light rain that fell added to the visibility problem. Hair stood out on the back of her neck and she felt a chill down her spine.
Something was very wrong.
The front door to the nursery office was open, a golden glow inside and tendrils of fire popping up behind the glass windows of the showroom.
Devon’s heart caught in her throat as she gripped the steering wheel.
Where is Sophie?
She hoped to God she was at the back house safely asleep. Her car was in the driveway, but the hospice nurse’s car wasn’t anywhere.
Devon pulled into the parking lot, grabbed her purse and keys and locked the car. She got as close to the office as she could, but everything was fully engulfed in flame. She called 9-1-1 and reported the fire. The dispatcher said someone else had already called and they were on their way.
With sirens going off in the distance, she ran around the burning structure to Sophie’s house. In the distance, she saw two shapes running down rows of vineyard on the neighbor’s property.
The house shone in the moonlight. Nothing appeared to be disturbed, except there were no lights on anywhere, which was odd. Sophie always left the kitchen light on so she could find her way for a glass of water. The hospice nurse usually stayed up and half-read, half-dozed with the light on.
Devon tried the front door and found it was unlocked. Inside, the house smelled of lemon candles, but nothing else. She flipped the light switch, but nothing happened. She ran towards the hallway where Sophie’s bedroom was, and nearly tripped on a body on the floor.
Falling to her knees, Devon recognized her immediately.
“Sophie! Oh. My. God. Sophie, are you hurt?” she asked as she tried to arouse her best friend. Then she heard the welcome groan and felt movement. Sophie rolled to the side and retched.
“Help is on its way. Sophie, are you hurt? Did anyone hurt you?”
“They’re trying to kill me, Devon.”
“Who?”
“You know, that asshole next door.”
“Where’s Emma?”
“She never showed. I tried calling her, but then I fell asleep.”
Devon knew this was not a random act of violence. The property was in escrow, but not with the neighbor Enemorio Rodriguez. His broker’s threats now came to mind. Devon hadn’t believed he’d resort to this level of violence, but now she wasn’t so sure.
“Did you see who set fire to the office?”
“Fire?” Sophie tried to get up. Devon stopped her. “Wait. You might be hurt.”
“Of course I’m fuckin’ hurt. I’m fuckin’ dying and they’re still trying to fuckin’ kill me,” Sophie spat out as she used Devon to right herself. Devon had to scramble to catch up with her. She ran behind, asking questions.
“Did someone come into your house? Did Rodriguez come into your house?”
“No, the coward sent a couple of goons. They knocked me around a bit, and then I just started to fall.” Sophie was outside, headed for the office, her pajama top up over her mouth to protect herself from inhaling the smoke. “They fuckin’ drugged me or something.” Sophie’s legs were wobbling and Devon was afraid she’d fall again.
“We need to stay away. Nothing you can do now, Sophie.” Devon tried to restrain her but, though emaciated from the cancer, Sophie was still strong and stubborn as an ox. Her bony arms pushed off Devon like she was a paper doll. All Devon could do was slow her down.
Devon thought the two men she’d seen when she arrived had perhaps intended to ignite Sophie’s house—with Sophie in it. She decided not to mention it until the authorities arrived.