SEAL'd Perfection The Complete Collection: A Navy SEAL Romance (11 page)

Kat smiled, her eyes shining as she looked up at me. “Uhm, if you need anything…” Her words trailed off and I didn’t press any further.

I left Jace standing alone under the dim street light, but the sad, distant look in his eyes haunted me the entire trip to pick up Jax. The pit in my stomach that had formed on Monday telling Jace we couldn’t be together had only grown and grown, and was now filling up with guilt at the shitty way I’d been treating Jace all week. The way he’d looked, out there all alone, wandering aimlessly down the street without so much as a jacket…something was wrong and I was beginning to wonder if it was all my fault.

A million possibilities had whirled through my mind by the time I walked up the steps to the front porch and rang the doorbell.

Seconds later, Mitch pulled the door open and my mind shifted from worrying about Jace to a blast of sheer panic at the self satisfied look on my ex-husband’s face as he stared at me.

“Oh, I see you didn’t bring your thug with you this time,” Mitch said, his voice sharp as he sneered. As I stared at him, I wondered what on earth had ever attracted me to him in the first place. Either he’d changed significantly over the years, or my radar had been completely on the fritz when we’d first met.

I decided on the former, it was an easier truth to admit to myself.

“Mitch, as I’ve stated, my love life is not your concern anymore. I’m just here to pick up Jax, so can we move on?”

“It might be more of my concern than you might think,” he replied. “
I’m
not too sure what the courts would think if they knew you were hooking up with a tattoo artist with a party boy reputation. What do you think?”

I folded my arms, keeping my face frozen in place, even though my heart racketed inside my chest, shocked by his statement.

Mitch laughed, low and dangerous. “What? You thought I wouldn’t find out? Come on, Katherine, I’m not stupid. The answers were all a quick
Google
search away, and boy, what a goldmine…”

I didn’t dare to say a word in response. I had no way of knowing what Mitch had read, what he knew—or, at least,
thought
he knew. I took a defiant step forward and pushed past him into the house. “Where’s Jax?” I asked, unable to hear the echoes of his little voice as I wandered down the hallway.

“He’s sleeping. He had a very exciting day. Hannah and I took him to the zoo, and then out to dinner, and on the way home, we went to his favorite toy store and he got to pick out whatever he wanted.”

My heart sank. Mitch loved rubbing it in my face—the lifestyle that he was able to provide for Jax, knowing full well that even just one of those activities would have busted my meager budget.

Someday
…I reminded myself. It wouldn’t be this way forever.

Mitch shut the door. “So, does Jax know who Jace is? Has he been inside the tattoo shop?” His voice was pleasant, and to an outsider might sound like innocent questions, but I knew better. Mitch was only mining information to be used against me.

“I think I’ll go wait in the car. I brought a book,” I said, going back to the front door.

Mitch blocked me. “I may sound friendly, Katherine, but if I catch even a
hint
of anything unpleasant—I’ll drag you back to court so fast your pretty little head will spin.”

The blood in my veins seared through my body, my pulse so loud it was ringing in my ears. “Let me out,” I growled.

He kept me locked in a silent standoff, only broken by the sleepy voice of Jax, “Mama?”

The rage spiked and then flushed away as I turned to find my boy running down the hall and into my arms.

“Come on, baby. We’re going home.”

I grabbed his backpack from the stair banister and hauled him outside, pushing past Mitch, leaving him to seethe on the front porch.

As I watched Mitch get smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror, I knew that the time had come to take control of my life. I made up my mind to stop living in fear of his constant threats, and live my life. The thought of going back to court, of having to fight to keep my baby boy with me, was enough to freeze my blood cold, but I was beginning to see that it was never going to end, and I needed to decide what to do in light of that revelation.

* * * *

Jace continued his daily visits, but each day it was like less and less of him was walking through the diner door. His eyes, that had been so vibrant and bright when we’d first met, took on a dull, listless quality, and although he was still friendly, he no longer tried to engage me in conversation, and spent the entire time eating his meal staring out the window at his shop, almost like he could see something that was invisible to the rest of us.

By Friday, I’d made up my mind that while it might be self-inflicted torture, I would invite Jace over for dinner once Jax was over at Mitch’s house for the weekend. I wasn’t ready for Jax to meet anyone, even if it was just a friendship. Which, was the boundary I’d still fenced around Jace, regardless of how much my body might protest every time I saw him. Even though weeks had passed since our date—and hot and heavy make out session—my mind and body was still craving him. In fact, it almost amplified with each passing day. I resolved that a dinner was harmless enough—choosing to ignore the fact that a dinner was all we were supposed to have done before.

I took in a deep breath and went to Jace’s table to drop off his check. He smiled up at me as he lay a twenty down on the paper bill when I set it on the edge of his table.
Just spit it out.
“Jace, would you like to come over for dinner tonight?”

His face masked his surprise well. His eyebrows gave him away, lifting up at the question. “I would,” he answered a heartbeat later.

“Seven o’clock,” I instructed, swishing away before my bubbling panic could talk me out of it and revoke the invitation.

I hurried out of the diner, a couple hours later, ready to jet back home and take Jax to drop him off with Mitch and Hannah. Hilda offered to have me come over for dinner once I got back into town, something she did nearly every Friday, knowing how rough it was on me to leave Jax. When I declined, she gave me a questioning look, but thankfully, didn’t ask the questions that were brewing in her mind.

Jax dawdled while packing his little backpack for the weekend, which was more of a routine than anything, since he had more clothes and toys than he’d ever need already at Mitch’s house. But, he liked packing his bag, and on most days, I was fine with him taking his time and stalling, but I found myself rushing him, mentally planning ahead how much time I would need to drop him off, get back, shower and change, and pop something into the oven.

“Jax, honey, it works better if you
keep
the things you’ve already packed,
inside
the bag,” I instructed, keeping my voice calm. I heard my phone ringing out in the living room, and left Jax under Mickey’s watch, to go answer it.

It was Mitch.

“What now…?” I groaned. I clicked on to the call, noting the time before saying, “We’re leaving in five. Jax is packing right now.”

“Katherine, it’s Hannah…”

The sound of her voice sent nails raking down my spine. The mistress turned Mrs. “What’s up?”

“Mitch had an emergency business trip. I don’t know the details, so don’t ask, but he has to fly out to New York right away. So, you’ll need to keep Jax with you this weekend.” She said it like it was a duty. As though it wasn’t what I wanted all the time.

I ignored that and pressed my eyes closed, trying to fight back the irritation. I wanted Jax, of course, I hated spending the weekends apart, but tonight…with Jace…

“Obviously,” I said dryly. “Thanks for letting me know.”

I hung up before she could simper anymore, and immediately fired off a text to Mitch reminding him that if I were to have pulled a “last minute trip” and canceled on him, he would have been irate. He quickly fired back that unless there were “diner waitress conventions” he wasn’t unaware of—I would have no immediate need to travel.

I huffed a few cross words and threw the phone into the depths of my purse.

Jace would be knocking on the front door in less than two hours, and I had nowhere for Jax to go hang out. I bit my lip, trying to sort it out, but there really were only two options…

Cancel on Jace.

Let Jace meet Jax.

I went back and forth, but as I went back to Jax’s room, something clicked into place and I decided that a dinner with my
friend
Jace could in no way be a punishable offense in family court, regardless of what Mitch might try and make me believe.

“Hey, honey,” I said, kneeling back to Jax who had moved on from packing to playing with one of the new toys Mitch had purchased for him on his last visit. He looked up at me and my heart fluttered. “Guess what? You’re gonna spend the weekend here, with mama!”

He clapped and Mickey started barking, which made Jax giggle and five minutes later we were both lying on the floor laughing while Mickey licked our faces.

It was the perfect moment.

Whether she knew it or not, Kat had temporarily set me free from the constant haunting of my past when she’d invited me to dinner at her house. Ever since the day at the shop with the vets, I’d been in a funk that only got deeper and darker by the day. I had no idea what had prompted her invitation, but I wasn’t about to question it. I sailed through the rest of the day, hardly noticing John’s annoying comments and demands of the crew as I finished a tattoo on a client who was to be featured in the show. When they left, I raced upstairs to shower, shave, and change. Kat had said she was making dinner, and I knew it would be casual, but I put on a button up black shirt and my nicest pair of jeans—essentially the only ones without holes, tears, or stains. I slipped my leather jacket on and headed out, barely remembering to lock up on my way out the front door.

I made record time to Kat’s townhouse, and sat on the bike, marveling that I was even there after she’d put the deep freeze on me. Walking up the steps, I shoved aside any nerves that sprung up. The only thing that scared me about a night alone with Kat was the fact that if I pushed her, she’d be gone for good. I had no doubt about it. I didn’t know why she‘d invited me to her home for dinner, but I knew it wasn’t for a booty call.

I knocked on the door and was surprised to hear what sounded like a large dog start howling from the other side. Moments later, Kat opened the door a tiny crack. “Hold on,” she said, quickly shutting it again. I smiled as I heard the dog bark and Kat holler at it to shush. When she came back, she opened the door all the way and let me inside, “Sorry about that,” she said. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her dark brown hair was rapidly falling out of her ponytail, strands framing her face in an alluring undone look.

“I didn’t know you had a dog,” I commented.

She rolled her eyes down the hall. “Five days a week, I do.”

Before she could explain anything else, a tiny little boy popped out from around the corner. “Hi! I’m Jax!” He shouted at the top of his tiny little lungs.

“Oh!” I exclaimed, feeling like I’d been punched in the gut. At the sudden appearance of the tot, my ghosts came raging back to me, and the surroundings of Kat’s entryway faded to black as a long lost memory filled my mind.

A long, dark hallway filled with smoke and the distant sounds of screams. People running everywhere, calling to one another. I gripped my gun and rounded a corner, scouting to provide ground cover as my team infiltrated hostile territory. We’d been tasked with rescuing a group of hostages from an extremist group—all of which would be armed to the teeth and incredibly dangerous—that were holed up in a bunker on the outskirts of a small town carved out of the mountain range.

We’d spent weeks planning, running down every scenario, before going in. But nothing could have prepared any of us for what had actually happened…

As we’d been progressing down a hallway, towards the location of the hostages, someone had tripped a wire and in a flash, a battle exploded around us. I’d been on my way to the check point, to rally with the team, and somehow got off the path, and ended up alone, charging down a hallway, listening to the chaos erupting around me and praying to anyone listening that I’d have a team to meet when I made it back.

I wove through the series of tunnels, ready to loop back at the sound of a yell, when a small boy had appeared, his arms wrapped around a gun that when stood up would be taller than him. Before I had the chance to speak, a man rounded the corner, tore the gun from the boy, and aimed it at me. I pulled the trigger, hitting him in the center of his forehead, before the man had fully aimed at me, and left the boy screaming over the dropped body…for all I knew it had been his father.

I’d had no choice…

It had been three and a half years ago but the memory of the boy with the gun in his arms, and later, wailing over the dead man, still haunted too many nightmares to count—most of them coming for me when asleep, but even more chilling when they came for me in my waking hours.

I pressed my eyes shut and released a tense breath that I hadn’t remembered gulping into my lungs.

“This is Jax,” Kat’s voice broke through the terror gripping my heart, soothing away the pain, and chasing away the darkness. I took one more slow breath and opened my eyes to find her kneeling on the floor in front of Jax, messing with his shirt, and not looking in my direction—for which I was thankful. I hadn’t been able to talk to anyone about that night, other than my team, and although I trusted Kat—I wasn’t anywhere near ready to expose my heart and show her all the twisted scars wrapped around it.

“Jax, this is mama’s friend, Jace,” Kat continued, finally looking up at me with an easy smile.

My muscles uncoiled one at a time as I took the two steps to close the space between us, and knelt down next to Kat in front of the beaming toddler. “Pleased to meet you Jax. Thanks for having me over for dinner, buddy.”

Jax held out his hand, prompting me to shake it and Kat burst out laughing. “Where’d you learn to do that, little Mr.?” She smiled and ruffled his hair and I took his hand, shaking his tiny palm between my fingertips and thumb.