Sean Donovan (The Californians, Book 3) (23 page)

"I'm afraid so. Taking the afternoon train like this will
make for a long evening and a sleepless night, but I really
must be on my way. I'll write, and you know I'll be
praying for you."

The words made Charlie feel like crying, and she
nearly broke down as she watched Patrick and Sean
embrace unashamedly for long moments. She moved a
few yards down the platform to give them some time
alone.

"I know that God is going to do mighty things in your
life, Sean, and I believe one of the first will be the salvation of your wife." Patrick's voice was low, but Sean
caught every word.

"I'm praying you're right."

"Pray believing, Sean." Patrick spoke with conviction.
"God loves her more than you do, and nothing would
give Him greater joy than to bring Charlotte to Himself."

Sean wondered how he'd gotten along for so many
years without this man. The thought caused him to put
his arms around his father once again.

The next few minutes passed in a flurry of activity as
last-minute passengers boarded and the final whistle blew. Patrick hugged his beloved children one last time,
and they stood waving after he boarded and until the
train was out of sight.

Both husband and wife were very quiet as they headed
home for the evening. They were done working for the
day, but the hour wasn't at all late. Sean's thoughts
turned to his marriage, and he hoped they might be able
to talk as soon as they were home. Charlie, however,
surprised him and put an immediate stop to any such
plans.

Just as they approached the back of the livery, Sean
watched Charlie veer off.

"I've got some things I need to do in the livery, Sean."

The young husband was so surprised that he didn't
speak for a few seconds. "Is there something I can help
with?" he finally asked.

"No," Charlie answered a little too emphatically as
she moved toward the barn. "I'll be in later."

Sean didn't have a clue as to what he should say to
that, so he stood still until she disappeared into the rear
door of the livery. He spent a few moments in prayer
before turning and going on to the house.

He'll stay, Charlie told herself as she stood in the
warm, dim barn, but only because he has to. He'd have left
today if he could have, and after seeing his father he'll probably
be watching fora chance to run. The thought caused an ache
in Charlie that she would not have believed possible. It
also started her tears.

As a child it had become familiar to hurt inside, knowing that her grandfather would often have liked to rid
himself of her. With Sean it was much more than just
hurt, it was. ..

The thought hung on like a bad headache, and Charlie's arms went around her middle, as though the pain
was centered there. It wasn't. The pain was higher and
squeezed around the region of her heart like a cruel fist.

She wondered during one brief moment of near insanity what Sean would do if she went back into the house
and told him she was in love with him. He might go
down on his knee and declare his own love and then take
her in his arms. After all, he did care some; she was sure
of that. And then she knew it would never happen.

"He'd laugh in your face, Charlie, and you know it."

Sean was so surprised to hear his wife's voice that
it halted his progress through the back door. He had stayed in the house until he could no longer stand it. It
had never occurred to him that she wasn't alone in the
livery. Maybe someone was trying to hurt her. It was this
thought that propelled him forward, his face a mask of
worry.

"Charlotte?" Sean blurted as soon as he spotted her in
one of the stalls, instantly feeling contrite over the way
he had startled her.

Charlie had come away from the wall of the stall
where she was leaning and was now kneeling on the
ground. She frowned when she realized she hadn't
brought her gun. After all, it could have been anyone.

Sean didn't like that frown, but he came forward anyway. Charlie watched as he lowered himself to the ground
and leaned against the wall of the stall, as she had been
doing. He just stared at her as she sat back on her heels,
her knees just inches from his outstretched legs. The
window above them lit the stall, casting a soft light
around Charlie's red hair.

"I hope that frown isn't for me."

"It's not," Charlie answered and then looked away,
knowing no matter how kind he was, she mustn't let
herself get more attached to this man than she already
was.

'Are you all right?"

"Why wouldn't I be all right?" Charlie's tone was
suspicious.

"Since you're the one who's been crying, you'll need
to tell me." Sean's voice was soft, and Charlie turned her
head slowly back to look at him. Her look was filled with
surprise, and Sean had to speculate for only a moment
on what she might be thinking.

"How did you know I'd been crying?"

Sean smiled; he couldn't help it. "Charlotte." Again
his voice was very low. "Haven't you ever looked in the mirror after you've cried?" Sean raised one finger and
tenderly touched one corner of Charlie's red-rimmed
eyes.

The act was too much for the confused redhead. Her
eyes filled with tears once again and before she could
even draw a breath, Sean gathered her to himself.

Charlie told herself to pull away, but his arms felt so
good, and he smelled wonderful. She suddenly remembered the regret on her husband's face when he realized
that he had missed his father by six weeks. Knowing that
he was never even supposed to be here, and that he
would never really be hers, was enough to make her cry
all the harder.

"Charlotte, Charlotte, please try to stop. You're going
to make yourself sick." Sean stroked her hair with his
free hand and thought his heart would break. If only she
would confide in him. Theirs had become a strange
relationship all over again. Husband and wife, but not
lovers. Housemates, but just barely friends.

Charlie, in an attempt to stop her tears, drew in a
shuddering breath and tipped her head back to look at
her husband. She told herself to thank him and move out
of his arms, but no words would come. She watched
Sean's gaze drop from her eyes to her mouth, and still
she couldn't move. Not even when she watched his head
lower and felt his hand holding the back of her head, was
she able to put any space between them.

The kiss was like nothing Sean had ever dreamed of.
He honestly believed he was going slowly, but when
Charlie whimpered he knew he was crushing her in his
arms. He loosened his hold without breaking the kiss,
shifting his wife onto his lap as he did. She was kissing
him back now, and Sean felt as lightheaded as a man who
had gone for days with an empty stomach.

Empty. That word perfectly described Sean's arms a
moment later when Charlie suddenly pushed away from
him and stood a few yards away. Sean took several deep
breaths and had to clear his throat before he spoke.

"I'm not going to apologize for that, Charlotte, because saying I'm sorry would be a lie. I like kissing you,
and I hope someday you'll enjoy it too."

"I enjoyed it." Charlie could have pulled her own
tongue out.

"Then why are you way over there looking terrified?"

"I don't know. There's so much between us, and I
think if we had continued it would have complicated
things further." The words were stilted, and Sean wished
with all his might that he knew what she was talking
about. Complicate what things?

"Charlotte, I'm not sure I understand."

"And I'm not sure I can explain."

Sean realized he would have to be satisfied with that.
He stood, determined not to press her, but equally determined not to leave her in the barn alone.

"Why don't we head inside now. Maybe we can talk
some more tomorrow."

Charlie seemed relieved by his understanding and
went willingly with him to the house.

"While you're here I want to get a lot of this done.
Everything is pretty small, and I guess that's why it has
been sitting for so long. They are just the jobs I never
seem to get started."

Sean listened silently as Charlie spoke over lunch. She
was communicating with him now, but all was strictly
business. She had also insinuated often in the last three
days that Sean was going somewhere. It was always subtle, but Sean never missed it. To his surprise Charlie
had been eager to resume her reading lessons. At first it
made no sense, but as Sean listened to his wife, he
realized she wanted him to teach her before he left.

Well she's going to be in for a surprise, Sean thought to
himself, because I'm not going anywhere.

In fact, he was going to be beside her even more, as
much as it was in his power to do so, and his plan of
attack was going to begin that very evening.

As had become their routine since the day after Patrick
left, Charlie quickly cleared the kitchen table and retrieved the primer. She turned the lantern high and
waited for Sean to join her.

"Why don't we study in the living room tonight?"
Sean suggested as he picked up the lantern and pulled
out his wife's chair. She looked surprised, but preceded
Sean into the other room, primer in hand.

Sean sat very close to Charlie on the sofa and took the
book from her grasp. He opened to the page where he
wanted her to start and stayed close as she read. She was
doing exceptionally well, and Sean uttered only a few
corrections as she read the simple story. She stumbled
over the word "ear" and Sean helped her, but before she
could read on, he interrupted.

"You have very nice ears," he said softly. "I wonder
why I've never noticed them before."

Charlie's hand came up. She touched her ear selfconsciously, turning slightly to look at her husband. He
was nearly touching her with the way he was leaning to
read over her shoulder, and as soon as her eyes caught
his, he winked at her.

Charlie nearly dropped the book, and Sean smiled as
she cleared her throat and tried once again to read. But
Sean could tell she wasn't concentrating. She stumbled over words she had never had any difficulty with, and
after a few moments Sean took pity on her.

"Could we skip the reading lesson tonight, Charlotte?"

"Skip it?" Charlie's voice was several octaves higher
than normal, and she looked ready to panic at the way
Sean shifted even closer.

"Yes, skip it. I want to ask you something. Do you like
children?"

Charlie did drop the book then. Her head turned at a
nearly impossible angle to look at the man beside her.
What in the world had gotten into him? Charlie wasn't
really sure she wanted to know.

"I think maybe I'd like a bath tonight." Charlie's voice
was breathless as she moved to get up, but Sean leaned
so close that his nose was brushing her temple. She froze
in her place.

"You don't need a bath. You smell wonderful."

Charlie could only gawk at her spouse.

"What happened, Charlotte?" Sean entreated softly,
his face close to hers. "What happened after the last time
we sat on this couch together and acted like husband and
wife?"

Charlie knew exactly the evening to which he referred. It was the night Sean had been about to kiss her,
and they had been interrupted by his father. She answered without looking at him.

"I'm not sure what happened, Sean, but I know your
father's interrupting us was for the best."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it's true. You don't belong with a girl like me.
You belong with someone beautiful and feminine like
your sisters. I can only guess at how much you miss
them. I was a fool to think you'd ever really be mine."

Sean's hand gently grasped her face and turned her
gaze back to his.

"Charlotte, you're my wife!" Sean's voice was urgent.
"It's true that I miss my family, and it was hard to see my
father leave, but this is where I belong, here with you."