Search (The Empire Chronicles #2) (11 page)

“How’d you know?”

“Just a hunch. Besides, Allie was talking about how cute a couple you’d make.”

“Great.” It’s always great when a guy’s ex wants you to get with him.

“You have a thing for other Pterons, huh?”

I tried to take my jaw off the floor. Was this the same Tiffany who barely made eye contact when she talked? “Is that really any of your business?”

“Sorry. That came out really wrong. I blame it on this.” She tapped her glass.

“I wish I didn’t.”

“Don’t fight who you are or who you like. Life’s so much harder that way.”

“It sounds like you know this from experience.”

“I know what it’s like to hold yourself back because you’re scared.”

“We should get back to the others, but thanks for the pep talk.”

She smiled. “No problem.”

Our next stop was a place Allie definitely hadn’t gone with Levi, but Anne insisted that we go. It was a dance club called Oz. “It’s where we go when we don’t want to be hit on by guys, but want to watch hotties,” she explained. I filled in the blanks myself. It was a gay club.

I laughed. “Why not?”

When the girls got ready to head back uptown to a bar near Tulane called Bruno’s, I decided I couldn’t wait any longer. I said a quick goodbye, and I’m sure they all knew exactly where I was heading.

I held onto my phone long after she’d hung up. Had Casey really just drunk dialed me and said the things I think she had? The goofy smile was still plastered on my face an hour later. Alcohol can make you say and do stupid things, but it also usually makes people honest. If those were her real feelings, getting another chance with her was going to be easier than I thought.

I’d just settled into bed around three a.m. when I heard a noise on the balcony. I didn’t bother to get dressed, confident I could handle whatever was waiting for me. I was wrong. As soon as I pushed open the French door, I stumbled back into the room.

“Hey, sorry to barge in on you like this.” Casey smiled this nervous-cute smile that, combined with her nearly exposed chest, had me struggling for words. I’d been looking forward to my next dream, but this was better. She must have flown through some rain because her tank top was soaked through. More water dripped from her hair down to her chest.

I swallowed hard, trying to keep myself together. “It’s not a problem, come on in.” I closed and locked the door behind her.

Without her wings, it was easy to forget anything had changed about her—but I could tell. She had this new glow. I could also tell she had no idea how much of her body she was revealing to me. Trying to be a gentleman, I offered her a t-shirt.

“Oh.” She looked down, finally noticing that her tiny cami wasn’t doing its job. “Ugh, it’s so much easier for guys!” She yanked the t-shirt from my hands and pulled it on. I missed the view, but hoped she’d give it to me on her own terms soon enough.

“Flying? Yeah. We don’t have to worry about that kind of stuff.”

She exhaled loudly and took a seat on the edge of my bed. I’m sure the flight exhausted her. Three hours of flying was hard even after years of experience.

I gestured to my pillows. “You can lie down if you want.” With me right next to you, or on top of you. I had to get myself in control. Evidently, the sex dreams were destroying my restraint. Wearing just a pair of boxers, I wasn’t going to be able to hide those thoughts for long.

She smiled. “I may take you up on that…I. Well, you’re probably wondering why I’m here.”

I wanted to reach out and touch the damp tendrils of her hair. She looked even sexier than usual. “Does it have anything to do with your phone call?”

She groaned. “Ugh. Sorry. I had too much to drink.”

“It couldn’t have been that much if you managed to fly up here.” I liked watching her sit there in my t-shirt. It was huge on her, but that just made it better.

“Yeah… is there a Pteron thing with processing alcohol?”

“It’s hard to stay drunk for long. By your phone call, I assumed that didn’t apply to you.”

“Could there be Pteron things that don’t apply to me?” She watched me suspiciously.

I shrugged. “Maybe.” I’d been only half serious. I was really taking the opportunity to tease her for being drunk.

“Enough about Pterons… or are you implying you know for sure what my mom is?”

“I know more.” I kept eye contact. After the incident at the coffee shop, I didn’t want her to think I was keeping secrets from her. I took a seat next to her.

“Can you tell me?” She scooted closer. The heat from her body had my heart beating faster.

“Yes, but do you maybe want to sleep first? It’s going to take a while. Is that why you came here?”

She ran her teeth over her bottom lip. “Sort of.”

“There’s more?”

“I’m sorry.” She sighed. “I’m sorry that I treated you that way. I’ve just been hurt before, and I didn’t want it to happen again. But in the end, I got hurt anyway so it was all so dumb.”

“Yeah, well, I’m the idiot who let you believe I wasn’t 100% into you. For letting you question how much I wanted us to be together.” I knew there was one piece of information that might make her feel better, but it might also make her mad.

I went for it, she needed to know. “I think it was magic. I think Nelly messed with your mind.”

“What?” She watched me in shock.

“You asked if things would affect you differently, and they might. It’s possible that if your mom is a bear, you may be completely susceptible to a witch’s magic. Pterons can only be influenced physically by magic. Mentally, magic can’t affect us. Other shifters don’t have the same protection. I think she was able to influence your feelings.”

“Really?” An expression of relief mixed with confusion crossed her face. “That’s why I believed her so easily?”

I nodded. “I think so, but only you’d know for sure. When you think back on things, is it clear or hazy?”

“It’s a little bit hazy… but either way, I still did it. They were my actions.”

“Not really, but I’m not going to argue. I just wanted you to know. And if I’m being honest, I should also tell you it wouldn’t have been the first time a witch messed with you.”

“What?” She rested a hand on the arm of the couch as if to steady herself. “When has it happened before?”

“At the Sprite House. A witch put an aphrodisiac spell on you.” I hadn’t thought about that when I first found out Casey was a Pteron. Technically, an aphrodisiac spell was more physical than mental, but a Pteron shouldn’t have been so susceptible.

Her head jerked. “And you’re just now telling me?”

“You can calm down. It’s not like I took advantage of you.” I hoped she’d naturally assume that.

“Of course not.” She looked appalled at the thought. Good. She needed to trust me. “None of this matters now anyway.”

“Why not?” I gently took her face in my hands. I was going to make sure she knew how I felt. “Why doesn’t it matter?”

“Because of what I am.”

“I already told you I don’t care. It’s just a stupid, unofficial rule that means nothing to me.”

“But your position?”

“What about it?”

She pressed her hands down into my bed. “You could lose it.”

“Lose it? For dating a Pteron?” I moved closer to her. “I can’t lose it, and even if I did, who cares? I’m happy when I’m with you. If you feel the same way when you’re with me, then why does anything else matter?”

She turned her head slightly, trying to hide her tears from me.

I gently touched her shoulder. “Hey… are you okay?”

She nodded. “Sorry. I’m just tired.”

“It’s him. He hurt you.”

She rested her head on my chest. I held her as her silent tears continued. Having her in my arms felt amazing, but that feeling battled with the anger boiling inside. Jared would be lucky if I didn’t kill him the next time we came face to face.

“I’m sorry, Casey. I really am.”

“Please. Don’t apologize. That’s not it. I’m just emotional today. That’s all. You apologizing only makes it worse.”

“How can it make it worse?”

“It just does.” She lifted her head.

A few weeks earlier, I would have let it go, but I wasn’t doing that again. I reached out for her, cupping the back of her head in my hands. “No one’s allowed to make you cry like that.” I brushed my lips gently against hers. “No one.” I touched my lips to hers again, this time less gently. She didn’t respond at first but then her lips started moving against mine. I kept it slow, making sure she was into the kiss before moving it faster. She moaned as I moved to deepen the kiss. I lost all thoughts. All I cared about was the taste of her mouth and the way her body felt next to mine.

She pushed against my chest and broke the kiss. “I can’t.”

“You can’t or you don’t want to?” I wasn’t going to play games. I needed to know what was going on in her head.

“I can’t… not yet.”

“Because of Jared?”

“No. Because of me.” There was a vulnerable honesty in her words.

“Okay. Will you stay here tonight?” I needed that. I needed to at least know she was safe.

“If it’s okay, I’d like to sleep—” She stopped.

“What is it?” I pressed, hoping the next words were the ones I was mentally filling in the blanks with.

“I’d like to sleep here.” She patted the bed.

“You never have to ask.” I took her hand. “Never.”

She smiled and pulled her hand from mine. I reluctantly let go.

She unzipped her jeans and stepped out of them. “I’ll be a second.” She walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

Considering she’d just cut off the kiss, I knew we weren’t going to be having sex, but she hadn’t asked for shorts. If she was willing to sleep in the same bed with me, wearing only one of my t-shirts and a pair of panties, things were looking up.

I debated waiting for her to come back then decided it would be less awkward if I just got in bed. I slipped in on my usual side. A moment later, the bathroom door opened and she walked out with her hair down and her face a little bit flushed. “I raided your bathroom for mouthwash.” She dropped her still damp cami on the floor next to her jeans. The motion reminded me of how little she was wearing.

“I want you to feel at home here.” Here as in my room, not the guest room. We weren’t going back there. Maybe she wasn’t ready for an all-out relationship or sex, but we weren’t going back to friends.

“Thanks.” She slipped in next to me. The motion made the shirt ride up, giving me a quick look at her smooth upper leg. I ached to touch her in that spot, to explore every inch of her in a way I’d never been able to before.

She snuggled in next to me. I didn’t worry about the light—it was already off. There were definitely some benefits to being with another Pteron. She lay beside me for a minute before she shifted, resting her head on my chest. I ran a hand down her back, and she sighed. “I’ve missed you.”

Those three words were more than enough. Casey was back whether she knew it or not.

The sunlight flooding in through the glass doors woke me up. I rolled over, wanting to hold on to a few more minutes of sleep, and came face to face with Toby. His peaceful expression had me awe struck. I’d never realized just how handsome he was. Part of me knew I should get up and start my day, but I was just so comfortable.

As if sensing he was being watched, Toby opened his eyes. “Good morning.”

“Ah. Hi.” I nervously smoothed out my hair. I didn’t have the drunken excuse to explain my reasons for spending the night in Toby’s bed. I just needed him close.

“What do you want for breakfast?” He pulled me against him.

“Oh. I should probably go.”

“No way. The last time we spent the night in the same bed, everything fell apart. This time is going to be different.”

“But I already told you I couldn’t be with you.”

“You’re with me, Casey. When you spend the night in someone’s bed rather than walking the few steps down the hall to sleep alone, it means you want to be with them—that you can be with them. I’m not going to act like a fourth grader and make you call me your boyfriend, but what we have here is
something
. And whatever that makes you to me, I’m making you breakfast.”

I smiled. I couldn’t help it. His words sent a shiver through me. I liked the new take charge Toby. “Okay. Then do you have any leftover bread? I’d love some French toast.”

His eyes lit up. “I even have pannetone.”

“Oh this is going to be good.” I hopped out of bed, completely unconcerned with the fact that I was only wearing an oversized t-shirt. I really could be myself with him. Toby hopped out after me and headed over to his dresser. I touched his arm when he pulled out a t-shirt. “Nope. If we’re a
something
, we’re cooking in what we slept in.”

He laughed that deep throaty laugh of his. “Oh yeah? I’m cooking in my boxers? Well, it’s worth it to watch you walk around in only my t-shirt. I like seeing you in my clothes.”

“Next time you’ll have to leave out one of your dress shirts for me. Get the full cliché experience.”

“As you like to point out, I wear them a lot. You’ll get your chance.”

I loved how easily we fell into banter with each other—and we did it without sex. Unlike with Jared where everything had to be so primal and erotic, Toby and I could exist in a flirtatious but more relaxed way, but it couldn’t stay that way forever. Toby wanted sex, and based on his new more forward stance, he was going to want it soon. I wanted it too… I just didn’t want to feel like a slut. For the millionth time that week, I regretted sleeping with Jared.

“I love your kitchen.” I pulled out eggs and milk from the fridge.

“I know. You’ve expressed your feelings on the matter before.” He came up behind me, cornering me between his warm body and the cool counter top. “And as I always say, it’s yours to use anytime.”

“You’re generous.” My body responded to his closeness in a way it hadn’t when we were in bed together. This was different, and I wasn’t completely sure why. Maybe it was because he called me out on my feelings.

I cracked three eggs in a blue bowl Toby put down in front of me. I slipped out from under his arm so I could wash my hands, but I missed the closeness instantly. Luckily, he had me back in the same position as I poured the milk and whisked them together with cinnamon. “I don’t remember you hovering so close the last time we cooked. And aren’t you the one who’s supposed to be cooking?”