Seaside Secrets (12 page)

“We kissed, okay? One toe-curling, earth-shattering kiss that left me unable to even say goodbye when he left.” She exhaled loudly, relieved to get their kiss off her chest.

 “Wow.” Bella sat back and smiled.

“Toe curling? A toe-curling kiss?” Sky twisted the ends of her hair around her finger. “See? You didn’t even need sex.”

Leanna touched Amy’s knee. “Does that mean that you’re not moving?”

“Honestly? I don’t know what it means. He said I deserve a better man than him.”

“A better man than a walking God? Right.” Jenna laughed. “Like they’re a dime a dozen. What’s got into him? Did you go down on him?”

“Jenna!” Amy snapped.

“What? That’d get his mind back where it belongs. Just sayin’.” She held up the bottle of nail polish and pretended to suck it.

“While I totally get what Jenna’s saying…” Sky smiled at Jenna. “Talking is where it’s at. Blow jobs should be reserved until after the guy’s pleasured you so much that you can barely stand to have him on top of you because you’re so worn out and satisfied that you can hardly breathe. A little hand and tongue action and
voila
! You’re done. Happy man, happy woman.”

Amy held her hands up in surrender. “I’m so sorry I said anything. We aren’t like that.”
Not that I don’t want to be
. “We’re in the talking stage. Part of me thinks he kissed me just because I wanted him to so badly, but it didn’t feel like that kind of kiss.”

“Oh, honey,” Leanna said. “You’re just worrying because this has been so many years in the making. When are you seeing him again?”

Amy shrugged, as if maybe Leanna were right, but she knew the truth. Their past was like an ocean between them, rising and falling with their thoughts and heated glances, waiting to rise up and come crashing down again.

“We didn’t really talk about seeing each other. He just apologized and said some of the nicest things a guy could ever say. Then…we kissed.” Tony’s words floated through her mind for the millionth time that morning.
You’re everything to me, Amy. You’re the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep.

“Care to elaborate on
nicest things
?” Bella asked.

“No. It’s too easy to latch on to them and hope he meant them. There was something in his eyes when he said them. It wasn’t doubt, but hesitation, maybe?” Maybe even mistrust. How could he ever trust her again after she’d turned him away so harshly when all he’d wanted to do was heal their pain?

“Well, if he thinks you deserve a better guy than him, that’s total BS,” Leanna said. “Maybe he got cold feet. I don’t know for sure, but he probably did feel a little hesitant to reveal how he felt.”

“Well…he is a bit of a player,” Bella added with a soft tone and a compassionate gaze.

Amy kicked her under the table. “Thanks. As if I wasn’t doubting the moment enough already.” She crossed her arms on the table and rested her forehead on them, trying to rein in her hopes.

“I don’t mean it like that. I just mean that he doesn’t really have a track record of long-term relationships,” Bella explained. “He’s probably scared shitless of actually committing.”

“None of us had a particularly great track record of long-term relationships, Bella.” Leanna layered a croissant with jam and slid it over to Amy. “Amy, try my new flavor, Sweet Heat. Food always helps.”

Amy lifted her eyes to Leanna. “Sweet Heat?”

“Just taste it. I promise it’ll make you feel better. My friend Joanie from the flea market suggested I try to create something sweet and spicy.” She pushed the plate closer to Amy. “Come on.”

Amy sat up, pulled off a corner of the croissant, and popped it into her mouth. Her mouth exploded with the savory sensation of jalapeños and something sweet and tart. “Oh my God. This is crazy good, and the name is perfect. It tastes kind of sexy.” She picked up the jar of Luscious Leanna’s Sweet Treats jam and looked over the green and red label. “Sweet Heat. I love it.” She pushed the plate to the center of the table. “You guys have to taste this.”

While they
ooh
ed and
aah
ed over Leanna’s new flavor, Amy mulled over the sweet heat she’d experienced last night. While she was over the moon about finally kissing the man she loved with all her heart, she had to wonder—if he didn’t trust himself to be the man she deserved, should she?

TONY STOOD AT the edge of the surf with a handful of other surfers who had also come out early to catch the waves. As with any sport, there was an unspoken kinship among surfers. One glance spoke volumes about sucky waves, riptides, the agony of defeat, or the elation of a kick-ass ride. Tony tried to keep a low profile when he surfed at the Cape, but in the surfing world he was a celebrity, and there wasn’t an easy way to hide his identity when he had a board under his arm.

Even in his wet suit he knew he was bulkier than most of the surfers on the Cape. Most were surfing for fun, not competition. Tony got up early for his five-mile runs, spent hour upon hour surfing, and trained in just about every fashion his body could handle. His fitness regimen didn’t stop there. He fueled his body with as much planning as he used for his workouts, and his mental abilities were just as honed, studying the physicality of all sports—not just surfing—and staying abreast of medical treatments for injuries and current events. Tony believed in being well rounded.  There was a reason he was a leader in everything he did—and he probably had his father to thank for that. Proving himself to the man he’d spent years looking up to, and their last summer together, loathing in equal measure, had been just the impetus he’d needed to push himself to the edge.

That was also the reason he would become the best damn man he could for Amy. No matter what it took. If he was capable of succeeding in other aspects of his life, he was capable of using that same determination for her. Although, as he stood on the shore beside the other surfers, gauging the water and thinking of Amy, he knew he was overlooking the most important part of the equation. There was one thing he had never been able to overcome, and last night’s kiss brought it all home once again. He hadn’t ever overcome the devastation that she’d cast him aside so easily. She’d moved on without ever looking back, and he’d nearly drowned in her wake. He wondered if he’d be able, or willing, to push past that and open his heart to her completely, the way he had back then.

“Mom! That’s him. I told you he was here!” A little boy ran up to Tony, kicking sand all over his feet, and grinned up at him. He was all knees and elbows, topped off with a spiky mop of dark hair.

“Jonah, slow down. Don’t bother him.” His mother trailed behind him wearing a black one-piece bathing suit and an embarrassed smile.  

“It’s all right,” Tony said casually as the kid tugged on his wet suit. “What’s up, buddy?”

“You’re Tony Black.”

Tony laughed. “Yeah, I am. What’s your name?”

“Jonah. Jonah Mickelow. I’m gonna be a surfer when I get older. Mom says I have to be eight, so I have two more years before I can learn, but I’m gonna do it. And I’m gonna break your records and be better than you.” His dark eyes were wide, his voice high and excited.

“Another two years, huh? Then I’d better do my best over the next two years.”

“Yeah, ’cause I’m gonna be good.” The little boy turned toward his mother. “This is my mom. She and her friends said you’re hot. I wanna be hot when I’m old like you.”

His mother turned a shade of crimson and mumbled, “Oh God, Jonah.”

Tony laughed. Out of habit, his eyes rose to the dune, where Amy often sat and watched him surf. His heart nearly stopped. She was there, her knees pulled up to her chest, arms crossed over them, and her chin resting smack-dab in the center.

She’d watched him a million times, almost always by herself, and she never came down to the beach. She’d stay for a while, and he’d get engrossed in surfing and look for her a while later, and she’d be gone. He didn’t want her gone this time.

The little boy tugged on his suit again. “Can you autograph something for me?”

“Absolutely.” Tony glanced at Amy again, excited that she was there; then he looked at the boy’s mother.

“Oh. Um. I don’t really have anything to write on, honey.”

“I’ve got you covered, buddy.” Tony headed up the beach toward his gear. He had a soft spot for children, and over the years he’d gotten in the habit of having a pad and paper on hand. He remembered the excitement of watching the pros in action and the anticipation of one day meeting them, stalking the beaches they frequented and waiting for the perfect opportunity. Having been the eager kid and knowing it was that eagerness that led to determination, Tony made sure that no kid seeking an autograph went home empty-handed. Now he looked down at the enthusiastic little boy and wondered if his feeling toward kids had more to do with the loss he’d experienced with Amy and less to do with stalking pro surfers when he was younger.

“Are you sure?” his mother asked. “We don’t want to interrupt your surfing. I’m Lydia, by the way.”

 “No worries,” he said to Lydia. He glanced back up the dune at Amy and hurriedly scribbled a personal message for Jonah so he could go talk to Amy before she disappeared like the wind. He crouched beside the little boy.

“Here you go, buddy. Surfing takes a lot of energy and dedication, just like school does. So you do as well in school as you want to do on the waves—got it?”

“Got it, Mr. Black. Thank you.” He reached for his mother’s hand and smiled up at her. “Look, Mom. I have Tony Black’s autograph.”

Lydia batted her eyes at Tony. “Thank you, and thank you for wrapping a little lesson in there with it.” Her eyes took a slow stroll down his body.

Meaningless sex had become something he loathed. He could no longer hide from what he really wanted, to share all of his life with someone he loved.

And as he lifted his eyes to the dune, he knew there was only one person who could fill that gap. And she was heading for the parking lot.

Tony ignored Lydia’s leer, tossed the pad and pen into his backpack, and darted down the beach toward the wide, steep path that led up the dune to the parking lot.

He reached the top of the hill as Amy drove toward the exit, and Tony sprinted through the parking lot, barefoot and thankful for all his training. He reached Amy’s car just as she stopped in the line of cars waiting to exit. He knocked on her window, startling her.

She rolled it down with a shy smile that made him glad he’d reached her. The memory of their kiss was so fresh he nearly leaned in and kissed her again.

“Hey.” He was out of breath. She was wearing his favorite bikini, the pale blue one that reminded him of her cottage, which brought his mind back to her bed and the feel of her body beneath his for that brief moment last night.

“Hey.”

“Why are you leaving?”

She shifted her eyes away. “I…Um. I just came to hang out for a while.”

“Stay with me.”

“I don’t know. You looked pretty busy down there.” She ran her finger over the steering wheel. When the car ahead of her pulled onto the road and her car rolled forward, Tony walked alongside, gripping the door.

Something in her voice made him take a deeper look at her expression, and that’s when he noticed it. He’d been so excited to see her that he’d missed the conflicting emotions in her beautiful eyes.

“Please?”

“Tony…I’m...I’m not ready to give up the job in Australia.”

 “I...” He hadn’t thought she’d still go. He hadn’t put Australia into the picture at all since last night. Why would she just give up on them like that? “I just want time with you.”

She sighed. “You came here to surf.” Despite the efforts he could see her making to restrain it, a smile curved her luscious lips.

And now he knew just how delicious they were. “Come on, Ames. It’ll be fun.”

Her finger tapped the steering wheel.

“We’ll take a walk and find the ugliest bathing suit.”

She smiled at that. She must have allowed that memory to resurface just as he had. The summer they were together they’d stalked the beach claiming they were seeking out the ugliest bathing suits as a cover for just wanting time alone. Their ruse had worked perfectly—their friends made fun of them for doing something so lame and never wanted to tag along. They couldn’t kiss in front of their friends, but after walking a mile down the beach, they kissed like kisses were food and they were starving.

“But after everything…”

“We need this, Ames.” He ran his knuckle down her cheek, and she closed her eyes for only a second, but that second was enough for him to know she was more on his side of the fence than not. “Please?”

They walked down the beach with the sun at their backs and silence filling the distance between them. Amy looked sexy and sweet, something only she could pull off so effortlessly. She wasn’t walking with tension in her steps, but Tony didn’t have to see the tension to know it existed.

The ease of their friendship was strained by the past. Tony didn’t have a goal when he’d asked Amy to stay with him. He just wanted to be with her, see where things went, in the same way he’d fallen in love with her all those years ago. He hadn’t planned it. He’d fallen more in love with her second after second, day after day, year after year. He hadn’t tried, and at first he hadn’t even realized it was happening. They’d been drawn together in a way that felt natural and very real.

Tony knew by the way her eyes were dragging over every person they walked past that Amy was searching for the ugliest suit. The thought made him smile. They no longer needed to use the game as a cover, and they were no longer confined by keeping their attraction a secret, but it felt as though they were facing new barriers. Barriers dividing the past from the present and another line of hurdles between the present and the future.

The summer they’d found each other, he’d known his feelings were bigger than anything he’d ever experienced, and now, despite the barriers that seemed insurmountable and the pain he knew lay in wait, those feelings rushed forward at breakneck speed, with the intensity of a board snapping in two, hard and fast.