Season for Love (3 page)

Sydney reached for Maddie’s hand and held on tight.
 

Linda had agonized over whether to include Sydney when she called the women together. In the end, she hadn’t the heart to leave her out. Now Linda hoped she’d done the right thing by asking Syd to come.

Linda cleared the emotion from her throat and continued reading. “We woke up in our Greenwich Village apartment, had breakfast, got dressed and left for work—me at an ad agency in midtown, and he as a financial services advisor at the World Trade Center’s South Tower. I don’t remember what we said to each other that morning. Probably the usual stuff about our plans for the day, what time we might be home, what we’d do for dinner. I so wish I could remember our exact words. I had no idea then how very precious they would be.

“We met at Wharton, survived the MBA program together and were due to be married that October. Toby was quiet and studious and destined for big things in his career. I used to call him my sexy nerd. While he tended to be shy with other people, with me he was easy-going, fun to be around and always making plans for our future. As we grappled with the stress of managing new jobs in New York while planning a wedding in North Carolina (where I’m from), his easy-going nature kept me sane.

“I was in a meeting when Toby called my cell phone that morning. We often sent texts back and forth but rarely called each other during the day. I was worried he might be sick or something, so I took the call despite the look of disapproval I received from my supervisor. I vividly recall getting up and starting to walk out of the room. I was about halfway to the door when the fear and panic in Toby’s voice registered. He was saying things I couldn’t comprehend. An airplane had hit the building, there was a fire and they were trapped. He told me they were going up on the roof, hoping to be rescued, but if it all went bad, he wanted me to know…”

Linda blew out a deep breath and shook her head as tears swam in her eyes. The first time she read Jenny’s letter, she’d wept for an hour, imagining the horror of receiving such a phone call.

Stephanie gripped her free hand, a gesture Linda greatly appreciated as she summoned the fortitude to continue. She blinked back the tears and focused on the heartfelt words.
 

“He wanted me to know how much he loved me. Right around then, people in the office heard what was going on, and everyone ran to the windows where we could see plumes of smoke coming from Lower Manhattan. I started to scream. It couldn’t be happening. I heard the words terrorists and Pentagon and hijacking and all sorts of things that didn’t seem real. Toby was yelling at me over the phone. ‘Jenny,’ he said, ‘are you there?’ I snapped out of it and realized my entire body was cold. I was shivering uncontrollably. Toby needed me, and I had to pull it together for him.

“Somehow I managed to form words. I managed to tell him how very much I loved him, how certain I was that everything would be fine and we’d have a long and happy life together the way we’d always planned. Even though I was utterly terrified, I held it together until he started to cry. He told me he didn’t want to leave me and that he was so sorry to do this to me. He said he wanted me to be happy no matter what, that my happiness was the most important thing to him.

“You all know what happened, so I won’t belabor the point. His body was never recovered. It was like he went to work one morning and disappeared off the face of the earth, which is essentially what happened. For days, weeks, months afterward, I was a total zombie. My parents came to get me, and I went home with them to North Carolina. Toby’s parents had a funeral in Pennsylvania that my parents took me to. I barely remember being there. My sisters quietly canceled the wedding I’d planned down to the last detail. Everyone was so very nice. Our money was refunded. People wanted to help in any way they could, but all the kind gestures in the world couldn’t replace what I’d lost. The oddest part was I never cried. I didn’t shed a single tear, even though every part of me hurt.
 

“I had nightmares for months over how Toby’s life might’ve ended. It’s a terrible thing to hope the person you loved most in the world had suffocated before other more horrific things could happen to him. I went to therapy and grief groups and all the things my family thought might help. A year went by without my knowledge, and it suddenly became critically important that I attend the anniversary ceremonies. My parents were adamantly opposed, but I needed to see it. I needed to see where he had died.”
 

Linda put down the page to wipe the dampness from her face. The young women gathered around the table were white-faced and teary-eyed. “If I didn’t think Jenny needed us so very badly, I’d never put you through this,” Linda said softly.

“Please,” Grace said. “Please finish.”

The others nodded in agreement.

Linda cleared her throat and returned to the letter. “Minutes after I arrived at the place they called Ground Zero, a name I always hated, I broke down into the kind of heartbroken tears you see in the movies. Apparently, I made quite a scene. It’s another thing I barely remember. My parents carted me out of there, and I’m told I cried for days. Once the tears stopped, I was finally, somehow, a little better. I didn’t feel quite so numb, which was a good and bad thing because that’s when the pain set in. I won’t bore you with the details of that stage. Suffice to say it was ugly.

“After two years of barely functioning, I wanted my old life back—or as much of it as still remained. For all that time, my company held my job for me. Can you believe that? I still can’t. That was a bright spot in a sea of gray. They welcomed me back with open arms. I found out my parents had paid the rent on our place in Greenwich Village, which was another bright spot. I went back to our home and wallowed in the comfort of being surrounded by Toby’s things. After four years, I asked his parents to come take what they wanted and packed up the rest because it was no longer a comfort to be surrounded by his belongings.

“In the fifth year, I started dating again. That was a comedy of errors with one disaster following another. I felt sorry for the very nice guys my well-meaning friends fixed me up with. They didn’t stand a chance against the fiancé I’d lost so tragically. Still, I went through the motions, mostly because it made the people around me more comfortable with my unending grief. I did what I could to make it better for them, because nothing could make it better for me.

“I became involved in the planning for the memorial, which was somehow cathartic when my rational self knew it probably shouldn’t be. New York slowly recovered, the debris was cleared away and new construction began. Against all odds, life went on. I still had nightmares about how Toby died. I dreamed about the wedding we’d so looked forward to that hadn’t happened. I went to work, I came home, I went to bed, I got up and did it all again the next day.

“As the tenth anniversary approached, I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t stay in that city, in our apartment, in the job I’d had that day, with the well-meaning people who went out of their way to try to fix the unfixable. I started looking around for something to do that would get me out of the city, something that would get me off the treadmill my life had become. Two weeks before the tenth anniversary, I moved out of our apartment and went home to North Carolina. I couldn’t stay for the dedication of the memorial or all the hoopla that would surround the anniversary. Leaving our apartment and our city for the last time was one of the most difficult moments in a decade of difficult moments.
 

“I’ve worked for the last year at a small PR firm in Charlotte. I saw your advertisement for the lighthouse keeper’s position in the
New York Times
last weekend, and everything about it appealed to me. I have absolutely no experience running a lighthouse, although where one would get such experience I couldn’t begin to imagine! I’m thirty-six years old, well educated in both the classroom and the school of hard knocks. I’m a reliable person looking for the opportunity to start over in a new place. I’d be honored to be considered for this position. Thank you for ‘listening’ to my story. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Jenny Wilks.”

Linda folded the letter, returned it to her purse and used a tissue to dab at the moisture gathered in the corners of her eyes. The story hadn’t been any easier to read the third time.

The others remained quiet and contemplative as they absorbed the letter. After a long moment of silence, Linda looked around at each of them. “We can’t leave her out there all alone.”

“Of course we can’t,” Laura said, mopping up tears.

“We can’t descend upon her either,” Stephanie said, pragmatic as always.

“True,” Grace said.

“I thought if we put our heads together,” Linda said, “we could think of a way—”
 

“I’ll do it,” Sydney said, her jaw set with determination. “I’ll go.”

“Are you sure you’re up to that, honey?” Linda asked.

Sydney nodded. “Who better to make the first move than someone who’s been there and done that?”

“No one,” Maddie agreed, squeezing her friend’s hand. “What’ll you say?”

“I’ll tell her I understand because I’ve been through my own hell. I’ll let her know there’s a wonderful, special community of people here who’d love to get to know her and make her feel at home.”

“That sounds perfect,” Linda said. “I had a feeling you all would know what to do.”

“I don’t know about the rest of you,” Grace said, expelling a deep breath, “but I really,
really
need to see Evan right now.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Maddie said. “About Mac, of course.”

“Ditto,” Stephanie said. “Grant.”

“It’s certainly a reminder that life is short and we need to make the most of every day we’re given,” Linda said. She noticed her niece still had tears rolling down her face. “Laura? Honey, are you all right?”

Laura reached for a napkin and dried her eyes. “I’m sorry. Jenny’s letter brought it all back. That awful day when we didn’t know where Adam was.”

“Yes,” Linda said. “It gave me some rough moments. I’m sure it did for Big Mac, too, which is why he didn’t tell me about it until after he began to worry about her being out there all alone.”

“Adam was in New York that day?” Maddie asked. “How have I never heard this?”

Linda nodded, her heart squeezing the way it always did when she thought of that nightmarish day when she’d thought for a few hours that her darling boy might be gone. “He’d just graduated from college and was working at his first job for a computer company in lower Manhattan. He’d only started the week before, so we didn’t have any way to contact him there yet. His cell phone went right to voice mail for
hours
. Hours and hours.”

“We found out much later that afternoon he wasn’t even in the city,” Laura said. “He was at a client’s office in New Jersey. Cell service was nonexistent for days, but he finally managed to call around five o’clock. By then, we were so sure…”

“Best phone call of my entire life,” Linda said, her voice catching as she relived a day she’d spent more than a decade trying to forget. That was another reason she’d been so determined to reach out to Jenny after she read the letter.
 

Laura wiped new tears from her face. “Listening to what happened to Jenny… I’ve been so caught up in my litany of troubles, but really, when it comes right down to it, I don’t have any troubles. My life is blessed.”

“I’m sure we all feel that way after hearing Jenny’s story,” Linda said as she drew Laura into a hug.

“She won’t want our sympathy,” Sydney said. “She’s here for a fresh start, not to relive her nightmare with all new people.”

“That’s understandable,” Linda said. “You’ll let us know when you’ve seen her?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you, honey,” Linda said. “I appreciate your willingness to reach out to her.”

“I’m not making any promises,” Sydney said. “She might prefer to be alone. We can’t force her out of her shell if that’s where she wants to be.”

 
“We forced you out of your shell,” Maddie said with an affectionate smile for her old friend.

“That you did,” Syd said, laughing. Looking around at the others, she said, “I have no doubt this peaceful place saved my life.”

“Maybe it can save dear Jenny, too,” Linda said.

“While I have you all here,” Maddie said tentatively, “I wondered if you might be willing to help with another project.”

“What kind of project?” Steph asked.

“I’d like to plan a benefit to assist the summer help who live here year round. With most of the hotels, restaurants, bars and marinas going dormant for the winter, there’re a lot of people on the island who really struggle until the tourists come back in the spring. I used to be one of them.”

Linda still experienced an occasional pang of shame whenever she thought about the unflattering rumors she’d once believed about her now-adored daughter-in-law. Maddie had made Mac so very, very happy. There wasn’t much Linda wouldn’t do for her. “What do you have in mind?”

“How about a big island Thanksgiving dinner where we supply the turkeys, everyone brings a side dish and we collect donations to go toward a fund for people in need?”

“How would the funds be distributed?” Grace asked.

“I haven’t gotten that far, but I suppose we’d set up a system where they could request assistance and then we provide whatever we can to help out.”