Seasons of Sugarcreek 02. Spring's Renewal (5 page)

Moments later, when they left to go deliver their news, Clara watched their retreating backs and sighed. Wouldn’t it be something if she actually could do everything she wished she could?

Of course, there was only one dream that mattered to her. And that was being a mother and wife. And no matter how talented in the kitchen she was, she didn’t think it would ever overcome her looks.

A man would want a pleasing face to look at every night at supper. And no matter what happened in her life…that would never happen if someone married her.

“I should probably warn you about Clara’s mother, Amanda Slabaugh,” Frank said to Tim as they washed up outside of the barn. “She’s a different sort of woman.”

“How so?”

Frank shrugged, obviously reluctant to talk poorly about his long-time neighbor. “Life has been hard on her. Her daughter Clara has suffered terribly from her burns. Then, about five years ago, her husband died suddenly. I’m afraid he didn’t leave her in a good way financially. It’s taken its toll on her nerves. At times she’s difficult and short-tempered.”

“Perhaps she should go to the doctor?”

Uncle Frank almost smiled. “No medicine will cure her, I’m afraid. Only a sunny disposition.”

“That would be a difficult way to live.”

“I agree. No matter how many blessings a person has, there are always difficult times. A positive outlook and a shining belief in the Lord’s work can help a person get through them.”

Thinking of his most recent circumstances, Tim knew his uncle spoke the truth. Only after reaching out to his relatives had he found any type of happiness in Sugarcreek.

Constantly looking for the bad was a hard way to live. “From what I know of Clara, I have to say I’m surprised. She seems like such a happy person.”

His uncle nodded. “She is. She’s at peace with herself, I believe. I have to admit to admiring Clara very much. Her older sisters left and she’s alone with the woman all the time. Yet she never complains. Now, if we could only discover what would make her mother happy, too!”

“I’ll look forward to meeting Mrs. Slabaugh.”

Judith poked her head out. “Mamm wants to know when you two are coming inside. Please say soon.”

Wiping off his face, Frank laughed. “Tell your mother that we are coming in right now.”

“She’ll be happy about that. She expects Joshua and Gretta any moment. And Clara and Mrs. Slabaugh, too, of course.”

“Judith, it sounds as if she’s gotten herself into a stir?”

“Oh, she has.” With a frown, she added, “We just saw Joshua today at the store. You’d think he was our long-lost relative.”

Frank chuckled. “Tim, we best get inside and do what we can to smooth some feathers.”

Tim charged ahead and impulsively flung an arm around his cousin’s shoulders. “Don’t worry so much, Judith. You’ll get wrinkles early.”

While Judith sputtered, Uncle Frank chuckled. “Ah, Tim. I think you are finally fitting in.”

Clara had been dreading the walk to the Graber’s home. After weighing the pros and cons again, they’d decided that there were little benefits to taking the buggy such a short distance. The walk was less than a mile as the crow flew, and at least triple that if they took the roads.

The only benefit would be that they could ride in the buggy on the way home, when the air turned cooler and the night was upon them. But driving a buggy at night had its own set of problems. Cars and trucks didn’t always see them and the horses turned skittish.

She, of course, was used to walking most everywhere. But after five minutes of walking up the first hill, it was terribly obvious that her mother was not used to much exercise at all.

Clara had been mentally preparing herself to listen to a barrage of complaints. But then to her surprise, her mother chuckled.

“Oh, but this reminds me of when I was courting your father.”

“It does? How so?”

“He lived on the other side of Sugarcreek, as you know. At first we would only make plans to see each other on Sundays, either at church or at singings. But then waiting a week seemed to be an eternity. So we started meeting each other halfway.”

“What did your parents say?”

“They didn’t know about it. My father was a very dear man, but a strict one, too. He didn’t believe in young women traipsing along the countryside.” A faraway look entered her eyes as they approached the little creek bed near the dividing line of their property with the Grabers. “Things looked different back then as well. Sugarcreek wasn’t near as big.”

“Did your father ever find out?”

“Oh, yes. We had quite a discussion that night! But soon after your father asked me to marry him and everything was much better.”

“I’m glad you decided to come with me tonight.”

“I am, too, Clara. It does my heart good to see these hills and smell the burst of spring in the air.”

Her mother was more subdued when they arrived.

“Thank you for inviting us,” Clara said after everyone greeted each other in the expansive great room. “I’ve brought a pie for dessert.”

“You didn’t need to do that.”

“I wanted to.”

Her mother chuckled. “You should have seen her running around the kitchen in a flurry.”

“I just wanted to have it be done in time.”

Elsa took it from her and handed it to Carrie like a prize. “You may take this to the dining room.”

“Oh, it is still warm.”

“But not too hot?” Clara cautioned.

“Oh, no. I am fine.”

Now that the greetings were taken care of, the talk became far more loud and boisterous. Everyone started talking at once.

To her surprise, her mother quickly followed Elsa into the kitchen and joined Elsa in insisting that Clara stay with the younger people and visit.

Judith claimed her hand and took her over to where Joshua and Gretta were sitting. They were surrounded by the other children. Gretta was holding Maggie and looked like she’d been a part of the family for years.

A new look of contentment rested on her features. Clara fought back a twinge of jealously. She was certainly happy for Gretta, but would be lying to herself if she pretended she didn’t want to be in the same kind of position.

Then she finally caught sight of the one person she’d most wanted to see…Timothy. He was sitting with them all, too. But didn’t look quite as comfortable as the rest of them.

When their eyes met, he smiled warmly…which in turn made her pulse race a bit faster.

“We’re so glad you came over,” Judith said when there was a break in the conversation. “We never get much of a chance to visit with each other after church.”

Joshua looked at his siblings with something that looked very much like exasperation. “It’s a wonder anyone ever gets to talk about anything around us. We haven’t yet mastered the art of taking turns when speaking.”

“I have,” Carrie interjected. “We have to be quiet at school when others are talking.”

Clara chuckled. “That is true. I’m doing my best to teach taking turns.”

Gretta leaned forward. “Tell us how your school year is going.”

“It is fine. Your brothers and sisters keep me on my toes.”

“I don’t remember being too much of a handful,” Caleb said with a grin.

“Though I only taught you last year, I must agree. You weren’t too much of a handful at all.” After waiting a beat or two, she grinned. “In fact, you could be far worse.”

Laughter rang out as more and more Grabers entered the conversation. Before long, they were all called to supper and walked to the kitchen with plates. “It’s easier to feed our group buffet style,” Elsa explained. “Otherwise, the bowls of food get a little too heavy to pass.”

“I like this way,” Clara said when she found herself at the head of the line. “And everything looks
wunderbaar
,” she added as she looked at the array of baked chicken, pasta salad, relish trays, and spring peas. There at the end was her blueberry pie, right next to a cherry cake.

Her mother said nothing, but Clara did notice that she took generous helpings of everything.

After everyone was served and seated around an enormous oval oak table, they all bowed their heads and gave thanks.

To her surprise, Tim chose the chair next to her.

“I’m glad you came,” he said quietly. “I was looking forward to seeing you again.”

“You were?”

He smiled. “I’ve been blessed with a wonderful family. But I’ve also been blessed with fine hearing. Sometimes I yearn to sit near someone who isn’t quite as loud.”

She felt her cheeks heating. Tim was acting as if his feelings toward her were special. The idea made her flustered, and hope burnished long-ago dreams put to rest.

But she couldn’t let him know that. “Now you make me wonder if I should talk at all,” she teased.

“If you get too loud, I’ll let you know.”

She chuckled, then, to her surprise, realized that their exchange had been watched by the rest of the group. Gretta eyed them with speculation. Her students were staring at her with a new awareness.

And her mother looked irritated.

“What will you do when summer comes?” Judith asked.

“All sorts of things. I enjoy my break just like the children do. I try to go on a walk every day and read as much as I can.”

“She becomes far too lazy,” her mother added with a bit of sharpness in her tone. “I’ve been telling her to tutor or look for another job.”

Judith’s eyes widened for a moment before they narrowed slightly. “I doubt Clara will become lazy.”

“Yes, all of us need a day of rest,” Elsa said before turning the conversation to more general topics.

When Mr. Graber stood up and her mother and Elsa followed, Clara stayed behind to help Judith and Gretta carry the dishes to the kitchen.

“We should plan to do some things together,” Judith said. “If you’re busy, no one will think you are wasting time.”

“My mother, she didn’t mean to sound so harsh.”

“Even if she didn’t, she still probably forgot what it was like to feel young, with the future at her fingertips,” Judith replied. “It’s up to us to make sure we don’t let these days pass us by.”

Clara didn’t know if she’d ever felt like her future was wide open. Ever since her accident, she’d been so grateful for her blessings that she’d never felt easy about asking for more.

But that said, she would look forward to deepening her friendship with Judith. “I would like to plan some activities with you, if you can spare the time.”

“Of course I can.”

Gretta glanced at the two of them and grinned. “You two have a look about you that I recognize.”

“And what is that?” Judith asked saucily.

“Like you’re feeling restless. That’s how I was feeling in January.”

“And here it is April already.”

Gretta ignored Judith’s sarcasm. “I know, I know. I sound like I have much to learn. But I also have learned a lot. Joshua and I had quite a time before we reached our agreement.”

“I’m surprised to hear that,” Clara admitted. “To me, you and Joshua were always so close.”

“We had some growing pains. But in the end, we worked everything out. I’m sure you both will find your way as well.”

“If I have a need to find my way,” Judith said sharply.

Clara busied herself by putting the leftovers neatly away into the crockery sitting on the counter. The chore kept her hands busy while her mind played over Gretta’s statements.

Judith was as opinionated and confident as ever. Clara had a feeling that nothing Gretta was saying would have much of an effect on her. That, Clara supposed, was the consequence of growing up feeling sure of yourself.

She, of course, had had just the opposite type of experiences. The idea that her future wasn’t decided was an intriguing one.

When Tim walked into the kitchen, all three girls stilled. “Tim, did you need something?” Judith asked.

“Perhaps. I was wondering if Clara would like to go for a short walk.”

While Gretta simply smiled, Judith looked her way. “Would you?”

“Sure.”

Something akin to relief flashed in his eyes. “You’ll probably want your cape or shawl. After you get it, will you meet me on the front porch?”

Clara nodded. “I’ll hurry.”

“No need. I’ll wait.”

When he left them, Judith winked. “I am beginning to think you will not need much of my company after all. You’re going to be plenty busy with my cousin.”

“I don’t know about that. He’s just being nice.”

“Nice and friendly,” Gretta agreed, her eyes twinkling. “Well, you better go get your cloak and meet Tim. Even though he says he won’t mind waiting, I have a feeling he just might be anxious for you to join him.”

Helplessly, Clara looked around the kitchen. The dishes were only half washed and put away. Two pots still needed to be scrubbed. “The kitchen—”

“I’ll call on Carrie to help,” Judith said. “You’re our guest. Go now.”

Fearing that any more protestations would only exaggerate the situation, Clara nodded and left.

Without a word, she crossed through the dining room and right by the front parlor where her mother was looking at quilt designs with Mrs. Graber.

Her mother looked up. “Clara, what are you doing?”

She grabbed her cloak and slipped it around her shoulders. “I’m going for a walk.”

“Right now? Why? And with whom?”

“I’ll be back soon,” she replied, not answering a single one of the mother’s questions on purpose.

When she stepped out onto the porch, the cool breeze felt like nature’s welcome. So did Tim’s smile.

“Is there somewhere you especially like to walk in the evenings after supper?” Tim asked Clara as soon as they started down the driveway.

“Anywhere is fine. I’m just happy to be outside.”

“
Jah
. I feel the same way.”

Around them, the air felt breezy and a bit cool, yet everywhere there were signs of spring. Crocuses were beginning to bloom—their tiny purple buds brightening the dark soil surrounding them.

Yes, the early evening was a pleasure, for sure. But none of it mattered to him. His attention was far more focused on the woman standing next to him.

By unspoken consent, they veered left, the opposite direction from the creek where they’d first met. As they walked, they passed a thick hedge. Directly after was the Allens’ home. Because the Allens were English, their house shone brightly. Almost every window was illuminated. The faint buzzing of a television drifted out from two open windows. Seconds later, they heard Mrs. Allen calling for something.

Tim shared an amused look with Clara. “Their home is busy tonight, too.”

“I would say so. I don’t know them too well. Do you?”

“I’ve only talked with them a few times. My cousins like them very much. Anson and Ty are
gut
friends.”

“Yes, Anson’s mentioned Ty to me a few times. Maybe a hundred or so?”

He laughed. “That Anson, he’s never met a stranger.”

“I admire that quality of his greatly.” After another twenty yards, they left the Allens’ mowed lawn and walked up a hill. There was a well-worn path to the side of the road. “If we continue this way for about five miles, it will lead us to downtown Sugarcreek. About a mile ahead, the Millers have a vegetable and honey stand. Would you like to walk to that?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. There are not too many cars, so it always feels safe.”

Safety was something Tim never worried about. He felt strong and solid after a lifetime of working hard in the fields. No one would ever mistake him for a weakling.

He imagined, though, that concern for safety was far different for a woman. No matter what the surroundings, it wasn’t safe for a woman to walk along the road at night. For a moment, he wished their circumstances were different. He wished he could offer her his protection all the time.

But of course, he was in no position to make such a promise.

So he stuck to safer topics. “Thank you for agreeing to walk with me. I was anxious for a break.”

“From what?”

He thought for a moment, wondering if he’d be able to pinpoint exactly what he’d been eager to leave behind. “The noise,” he finally said, though that didn’t really explain much.

“It’s not what you’re used to, is it?”

“No. My life at home is far different. My parents and I each follow our own pursuits. It’s a much quieter existence.”

“Things with my mother are quiet, too. Sometimes too much so. But noise never has bothered me much.”

“That’s probably a good thing, yes?”

“
Jah
,” she replied with a smile. “Being a schoolteacher would be terribly difficult if I only ever demanded peace.”

“Difficult for the children.” Tim remembered how rambunctious they’d been at the program.

“And difficult for me! I enjoy getting to know my scholars. I have high hopes for them.”

“Some outside our way of life would find that view a little strange. After all, most of your schoolchildren will adopt lives just like our parents and grandparents. They don’t need to know much.”

“Is that how you think?”

“I’m not sure.” After a moment’s reflection, he shook his head. “No. Though we may all have much in common, I know we are all individuals. And there’s much we need to know both inside and outside of the classroom. Is that what you’re trying to accomplish?”

“Yes,” she replied with a happy smile. “To my mind, there is nothing ‘simple’ with wanting to be a wife and mother. Or a farmer. Or a factory worker. All of those jobs take many skills, some more than others!”

“Your words sound almost revolutionary. Some might find them challenging to our way of life.”

“Perhaps. But, you know what I think, Timothy? I think each of us is going to follow God’s plans for us, anyway. Therefore, we might as well make the best of our days.” As if she was embarrassed by her enthusiasm, she looked down at her feet. “I mean, that’s the kind of thing I tell my students.”

Her enthusiasm for her career—and for their way of life—was infectious. “I would think it would be a wonderful thing, to be a student in your classroom.”

“It’s where I’m happiest. I truly do enjoy teaching.”

They stopped for a moment at the Millers’ stand. It was closed, of course, but the tables and striped awning gave promise that new produce was just around the corner.

In agreement, they started the walk back. “I’m…enjoying our conversation, Clara. You make the time fly by.”

“I feel the same way. I’m sorry if I sounded too excited about my teaching philosophy. It’s just a rare thing that anyone ever asks me about it.”

“What do people ask you about?”

“Their students. How my sisters and mother are.” In the dim twilight, Tim saw a tiny bit of remorse mixed in with her matter-of-fact tone. “I don’t mean to sound sorry for myself, but sometimes it seems as if these scars act as a boundary. Some people can never overlook them.”

“You’re right,” Tim said, surprising himself with his blunt honesty. “I mean, they’re hard not to notice.”

But instead of looking hurt, she grinned. “You, Tim Graber, are exactly right. They are quite noticeable.”

“But they’re not all of you.”

She blinked. “No, they are not,” she said quietly. “I can’t help the ugliness of these scars any more than Gretta can help her beauty. For better or worse, they’re a part of me. But there’s so much more.”

“Like your views on teaching.”

“
Jah
.” She cleared her throat. “Please tell me something about yourself. I don’t want to go home tonight thinking that all I did with you was talk, talk, talk about myself.”

“There would be nothing wrong with that. I’ve enjoyed hearing about you.”

“I would enjoy learning as much about you,” she said shyly. “That is, if talking about such things wouldn’t upset you.”

Upset him? His first instinct was to tell her that nothing personal like that would ever upset him. After all, he was a man. Men didn’t become flustered or bothered quite so easily.

But as he formed the words, he cut them off just as quickly. Perhaps talking about himself, so honestly, so unguardedly,
would
upset him.

Because it would let her into a part of him that he’d kept hidden for so long.

But he had enjoyed listening to her. And it seemed wrong to pry into her life without sharing anything about his own.

Her words had made him feel both proud of who he was yet also question everything he’d ever wanted to be.

As they walked along, their footsteps slowly fading in the dim light, the sounds of the night became louder. In the thicket of trees next to them, a sudden blink of a firefly brought a spark of magical light. Tim found himself looking at Clara quickly, just to see if she’d caught the sight.

She smiled but remained quiet. Obviously waiting for him to share something.

“Clara, there’s not much to tell. I’m a simple man.”

“Even simple men have stories to tell,” she prodded.

“Well…here’s something—I like to farm.”

“Because?”

“Because it’s me and the Lord and the ground and the elements. I can work hard and see the fruits of my labor. It’s good, honest work, too. I like that. There’s nothing sketchy involved. No number crunching. No tricks. Only sweat and muscles and prayers.”

“And the rewards when you see a full crop in its glory?”

“Yes. And, of course, the rewards when we go to market and receive a healthy price for our harvest. That is a good feeling, too. The money earned helps us in many ways. And helps to give us a cushion when times are tough.”

“And you farm with your father?”

“Yes. With my
daed
and a few of his neighbors. A few years ago they joined together to form a cooperative. That relationship helped us all work together. Toward our common good.”

She smiled.

That seemed to be all the encouragement he needed to keep blabbering away. “I also enjoy the quiet in the fields. I like animals. I like time to think about things…I hate to be rushed. Perhaps that comes from being an only child. I’m a selfish man in that way.”

“I can’t imagine that you are always alone. Do you have a large circle of friends in Indiana?”

Her question gave him a small sense of foreboding. “I do. There’s a large Amish population where we live, as I’m sure you know. From the time I started school to most recently, I’ve been blessed with a good number of close friends. We get together often.”

“Is there someone special to you?”

Ruby Lee was. Ruby Lee was someone who he’d always singled out as special to him. Her parents’ farm was next to his. Everyone had always assumed that they would one day marry.

Except for his parents, though. They were the ones who had said he needed to get a taste of someplace else. Just to be sure.

And now, as he looked at Clara…Clara, who wore her imperfections well, who had so much to give from inside of her that she appeared to shine—so brightly that he was fairly stunned by the beauty. If Uncle Frank hadn’t written him, Tim would have never met Clara. Timothy started to believe that his parents had been right to send him to Sugarcreek.

And so, he lied. “No. There is no one special to me.”

They were almost to the house. Out front, Tim could see little Maggie chasing Carrie and Anson.

On the front porch swing sat Joshua and Gretta.

To his surprise, a lump of happiness sprung inside of him as he saw their familiar faces. In spite of his protestations, all of them had found their way into his heart.

But Clara didn’t look to be concerned with anyone but him. Her gaze on his face hadn’t strayed. “Timothy, are you sure there is no one special to you? No girl who is your sweetheart? You act as if there might be.”

Before he could reply to that, she held up a hand, looking crestfallen. “Please forget I even asked. Of course your friendships back home are none of my business.”

She was right, of course. His relationship with Ruby wasn’t her business. Especially since it was so puzzling, anyway.

“We’re back,” he said instead. “Thank you for walking with me. I enjoyed it.”

She blinked. “I…I enjoyed it as well,” she murmured as they crossed the large grassy area and approached the others. Very properly, she walked by his side. Her hands were clasped in front of her. Some of the light that had shone in her eyes dimmed. “I thank you for it, Timothy.”

“We didn’t know when you were ever coming back,” Anson called out as he ran to meet them halfway. Behind him, Caleb followed at a more sedate pace. “Where did you go?”

“Not very far,” Tim answered.

“Just down to the Millers’ stand,” Clara added.

“Your mother said to tell you that she’s anxious to leave,” Anson said.

“She’s told all of us several times,” Caleb added wryly.

Clara sighed. “Yes, I imagine she probably has. It’s getting dark out.”

As the four of them slowly climbed up the last of the hill before reaching the front porch, Caleb thrust out a letter. “I’ve been meaning to give you this, too,” he said. “I’m sorry I forgot earlier.”

Tim stared at the envelope in surprise but made no move to take it. “
Danke
.”

Clara looked at him strangely. “Is that a letter from home?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, it’s more than that,” Caleb said with a too-knowing look. “It’s from—”

“My parents, most likely,” Tim interrupted. Clara looked confused. Tim didn’t blame her, he was acting mighty peculiar about a simple letter. “We best get inside. Your mother’s waiting.”

She tucked her chin. “Yes. Yes, of course,” she said before leaving his side and walking to the front door.

Grabbing the letter from Caleb, Tim glared at him.

“What?”

“Sometimes you need to stay out of other people’s business.”

“But you always like to receive Ruby’s letters. What did I do wrong?”

Tim brushed by Caleb’s side without answering and hurried to the kitchen. Perhaps he could talk to Clara some? Try to explain things even he didn’t know the answer to?

“Good evening, Timothy,” Mrs. Slabaugh said without a smile. “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay in Sugarcreek.”

Clara held her mother’s elbow as they brushed passed him.

“Clara?”

“I’m sorry. I must go.”

“But perhaps we could talk some more later?”

“Maybe we could.”

“Clara, let’s leave.”

“All right, Mamm. Yes. We will go now.”

As soon as the door closed he clenched his hands. What had he done?

“Careful with your letter, Timothy!” Elsa exclaimed. “You’re about to crush it!”

With dismay, he looked at his right hand. There, in his hand, was the crumpled envelope.

He’d completely forgotten he held it.