Seaweed (18 page)

Colby turned to me. “You okay?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“So, Seaweed, where do you wanna to go?”

I didn’t have to think long. “Anywhere.”

I welcomed the pain that shot up my leg as we rode along the trail—it helped to block out the searing ache that squeezed my heart. The wind whipped at my eyes forcing them shut, which I hated because Tor’s face kept taunting my mind.

The engine slowed and Colby brought the bike to a stop. We were at the crest of a cliff overlooking the ocean. I inhaled the salty air and scanned the horizon.

The ocean’s roar called to me and it hit me then—I could never go in it again. In fact, unless I wanted to become a mermaid,
all
swimming was out of the question. Swimming was my life before Tor Riley. My hopes for a scholarship and a way out of Eastcove were gone with him. This was what he’d stolen from me.

The high wire of grief I’d been balancing on tightened. It thickened into something else. Anger? Betrayal?

“Hey.” Colby pointed.

We saw it at the same time, just before the head bobbed under the surface. My heart stuttered.

“A seal?” he said.

“Yeah,” I whispered.

A seal with deep-set green eyes.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

My parents wanted answers. There were three main things that didn’t line up: The boat wreck, my lie about going to Becca’s and my gunshot wound. Crafting a story that explained these things, plus the fact that I’d been missing for a day and a half took a skill I didn’t possess.

All I could do was apologize. I did tell them I’d been hit and shot by Crazy Jim, which correlated with the tales he was telling everyone who’d listen.

“He thought you were a
mermaid
?” Mom had asked.

But when it came to where I was and why I’d lied, I obviously couldn’t answer them. This didn’t go over well, let’s just say.

I would’ve been grounded if it weren’t for the fact that I’d nearly been killed. I guessed they figured my nine stitches and broken heart were enough punishment.

Yeah, I also had to try to explain Tor’s sudden departure. My parents weren’t stupid; they knew I wasn’t giving them the whole story.

Samara and Becca were ticked off, too. They couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t tell them what had happened. We’d never kept secrets from each other before and I’d thrown up some kind of barrier by being the first to conceal. They tried to act like it didn’t bother them, but I knew them too well. After a couple attempts at forced amusement over magazines and fake laughter at bad jokes, I’d started to decline their invites to get together. Before too long, they’d stopped making them.

The day of my tantrum, aka my birthday, was also the last time I’d been to the beach near our house. Actually, it was the last time I’d gone to any beach. I just couldn’t bear to be near the ocean. It only reminded me of all that I’d lost.

Instead I started taking Sidney for a walk to the park on the other side of Nana’s house. It had a playground and a big lawn and was safely tucked into the edge of the forest. Not that I wanted to talk to Nana; I’d skip around the back so I wouldn’t accidently bump into her. I wasn’t ready to ask her the many questions I had. I was too afraid of the answers.

Every evening after dinner I’d escape with Sidney to get away from the effort my family made to bring me back from the emotional dead. And every evening Colby would drive by on his dirt bike and pick me up.

Dear, stable, never changing, reliable, adorable Colby. The boy I wished I could love.

It was the end of summer, the last weekend before school. I was half way to the park when I heard the rev of Colby’s bike.

He slowed when he reached me.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” I accepted the extra helmet he always carried for me. I suppressed my urge to wince as I threw my injured leg over. The stitches were out, but the scar would always be there. A permanent reminder of the suckiest summer ever.

Colby kicked it into gear, but kept the speed down so Sidney could keep up.

At the park we’d lay on our backs on the grass and stare at the stars.

“Can’t believe school starts in three days,” Colby said. “Only two more years of high school.”

I grunted. Only two more years until Colby went to some hot university on a swim scholarship and I headed off to a local college so I could stay home and work my way through school.

Colby rolled over onto his side. I did the same and faced him.

“Dori, everything will be better again, once school starts. Things will be the way they were…before.”

My mouth pinched. Things could never go back to the way they were before.

“When are you gonna come back to swim club? You’d feel so much better if you’d just come back.”

I pulled myself up to sitting position and hugged my knees. “I can’t go back, Colby.”

He sat up to face me. “Look, I said I was sorry. How many times do I have to apologize?”

“That’s not why I’m not coming back.”

“Then why?”

I stared up at the stars, wishing I could tell him. Wishing I could tell someone. Instead I just shrugged.

Colby let it go. “Do you remember when we were in first grade and we were invited to Sawyer’s birthday party?”

I felt a smile pull at my lips. “Our mothers’ dressed us to the nines for some reason.”

“You wore a pink princess dress with a load of frills.”

I blushed that he’d remembered what I was wearing.

“Instead of playing pin the tail on the donkey with the other kids, we snuck off to swim in Sawyer’s little sister’s kiddy pool. In our dress clothes.”

I actually laughed a little at the memory. “Splashing around with you was a blast, but Mom was furious that I’d ruined that dress. It was cheap, all the dye seeped out.”

“That’s right. The pool water turned pink. And instead of crying about your dress you laughed hilariously. That was the moment I knew.”

My gazed jumped to his. “Knew what?”

“That I was crazy about you.”

He’d liked me since Sawyer’s sixth birthday party?

I couldn’t pull my eyes away from his. The pain we shared crackled between us. I reached for his head, an impulse to diffuse the hurt somehow, as if I could magically absorb his, and he could absorb mine. The soft bristles of his brush cut in my palm calmed me. Colby’s eyes were soft and warm like pools of hot fudge sundae. He leaned in.

I knew what he wanted. A kiss.

A kiss would change everything, catapult us into a whole other fragile universe. His lips were full and inviting.

But they weren’t Tor’s lips, and he was the one I still longed for.

I whispered, “I’m not ready.”

Colby exhaled. “Okay. I can wait.”

His hand brushed lightly against mine. “Can I at least hold your hand?”

Why not? I nodded.

He threaded his fingers through mine. His hand felt different than Tor’s. Broader, rougher.

We lay back down on our backs, hands locked between our bodies. The moon rose to spy on us. Did it see the little tear that slid down the side of my face?

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

“Dori!” Mom called up the steps. “The rest of us are already at the table.”

I sighed and dragged myself off the bed. It was our weekly Sunday brunch and I could smell a waft of fried bacon floating up the stairs. I slipped on my purple fuzzy slippers and headed down.

I heard my mother’s voice. “This can’t go on forever.”

“It’s her first crush. She’ll get over it eventually.” Dad.

“This is exactly why I discourage high school romance.” Mom again. “They should just focus on school at this age. They have their whole lives ahead of them for heartache.”

Luke: “I’m sick of all the moping. It’s like a black cloud has blown through the house.”

Dad: “She’ll get over it eventually.”

“Has she told anyone what happened, yet?” Nana. Freak. I was so not ready to deal with her.

“We know what happened,” Mom said tersely. “She got hit by a boat, shot at and almost drowned.”

“But she was missing,” Nana pressed

“She still won’t talk about it,” Mom answered. “Believe me, I’ve tried to get her to talk.”

The bottom step squeaked. Mom hushed everyone as I entered. I pretended I hadn’t heard them talking about me and took my seat.

Dad chirped, “Mark called. He’s settling in at the campus in Calgary.”

“Yes,” Mom added, too enthusiastically. “He’s excited about his first year there.”

Warning: awkward, forced conversation ahead.

“Pass the syrup.” I waved in the general direction of the bottle of maple syrup. Luke handed it to me, and I poured it on my stack of pancakes. Nana sat across from me, but I kept my eyes down.

“Are you guys ready for school tomorrow?” Mom asked.

Luke nodded. “Ready enough.”

Pause.

Oh, I was supposed to talk.“Uh yeah, me, too.”

More pausing.

Mom threw her napkin on the table. “This is crazy. Dori, why don’t you just go back to swim club. You need to get back to your old self again.”

“Mom, swim club is the last thing I need.”

“Why? You love swimming. And you’re good at it. It’ll take your mind off …things.”

Nana surprised me by answering. “Just because the girl is good at something, doesn’t mean she has to do it forever. Dori might want to try other things. I’m sure she could be just as good at something new.”

She caught my eye and I read her deeper meaning. I should find an alternate passion if I knew what was good for me. Something that would take me as far away from the ocean as possible.

“Yeah, I’m thinking about basket weaving.” I stood. “Thanks for breakfast, Mom. It was delicious.”

I left the table so that they could continue to discuss what was best for me in peace.

A new message waited for me in my inbox. Samara and Becca were discussing what they’re going to wear on the first day of school.

It was our annual tradition. I followed the thread like a lurker as they discussed which shirt and what shoes.

I’d become a lurker.

Then suddenly,
Are you there, Dori?

The moment of truth. Did I reply all, or pretend I wasn’t here.

Something twigged me. I missed them. I quickly typed
,
Yes,
and sent it before I lost my nerve
.

I didn’t know I’d been holding my breath. I let it out slowly as I joined in the conversation. I was going to wear jeans and a green t-shirt. My sneakers. Boring, I know. I typed out my decision and pressed send.

The next morning the alarm misfired. Or maybe I just slammed the snooze button too hard, but I woke up late. I hurried into the promised jeans, t-shirt and sneakers. I made sure my back-to-school shirts all had sleeves now since I had those tattoos covering my shoulders. So far, I’d managed to keep them hidden and I thought I’d be good at least until next summer, when I’d have to come up with another good story.

I paused long enough to run a brush through my hair and sponge washed my face. Another thing I gave up for Tor. Hot baths and showers. Thankfully mere dampness wasn’t enough to set off the scales and tail.

No time for make-up, but oddly, I didn’t care. Even though it was the first day of school.

“Mom, I’m sorry. I slept in,” I said as I grabbed a piece of toast. “Can you walk, Sidney this morning?”

Mom tilted her head like she was annoyed.

“Just a short walk. I’ll walk him again after school, I promise.”

Mom poured me a glass of juice. “Okay, but just this once, Dori. He’s your dog. That was the deal.”

I uttered, “Thanks” then rushed to brush my teeth. Luke waited for me in the Rotten Apple.

“Get in. I don’t want to be late, first day.”

I saw Samara and Becca near the front door of the school, each wearing their preplanned wardrobe choices and huddling together with another girl I couldn’t see. I approached them from behind and heard Samara’s voice. “She’s not been the same since him.”

“I don’t know what the big deal is. You’d think she was the only girl on the planet who’d ever been dumped.”

Tiffany MacMillan? That was Tiffany’s nasally voice. Samara and Becca were pow-wowing about me with Tiffany?

“Well, it’s more than that. We still don’t know what really
happened
to her,” Becca said.

“Why won’t she tell you?” Tiffany said. “I thought you guys were like, besties.”

“We are,” Samara replied. “At least, we were.”

Man, was there nothing else to talk about in Eastcove? Was I the only gossip worthy news?