Sebastian (10 page)

“Nicolette?”

She couldn't leave with him, and he couldn't stay with her. There were no words she could give him. Instead, she dipped her head down to brush his lips with hers. When his hands landed on her narrow hips to pull her closer, she knew that at least they would have this. The kiss stretched out, gentle and sweet. There was a goodbye in it, and yes, there was love there as well, but that could be wept over later. She could feel the tension in his shoulders, and when she broke the kiss, he looked up at her with those pale, feral eyes.

He started to speak, but she placed her finger over his lips. She didn't want to hear more arguments that could never be resolved. She only wanted him, and after a moment, he nodded.

His tongue licked out, and she shivered when he lapped at her finger. Slowly, she slid it between his lips, drawing it back and forth. The inside of his mouth was soft, hot velvet, and the skill of his tongue was making the blood rush hotly through her veins. It was beautiful, but she wanted more, so she drew back.

Standing, Sebastian took her hand and lead her to the bedroom, closing the door behind them. The bed stretched out for miles, and when Sebastian pulled the dress off her body, she wanted nothing more than to lie down.

He settled her on the mattress, and with quick deft motions, he removed her bra and her panties. In the field it had been nothing but passion and pleasure, but now in his luxurious bed, she felt shy. She had been a skinny girl who grew up to be a lanky woman. She wondered what a man who had had centuries to bed women would think of her. But the clear pleasure on Sebastian's face quickly disabused her of any idea that he was displeased.

He knelt over her naked body and ran his hands over her tenderly. From shoulder to hip, from hip to ankle and back again, it felt like he was trying to memorize her body. When he brushed the back of his hands against her cheeks, she sighed, and then he was reaching for her hair.

With fastidious care, he loosened her hair it until it lay over her like a dark cloak, and then his fingers were massaging her scalp, making her purr with pleasure. His strong fingers traveled over her body, working out the tensions that she never knew were there, and as he did so, she ran her hands over his as well.
 

She tugged at his clothing, and in a silent obedience that thrilled her, he stripped off his clothes as well. For a moment he looked as nervous as she had. She wrapped her arms around him, trying to tell him without words that there was nothing to be ashamed of, never anything to be ashamed of. She pressed him down on his back, noting as she did so that his manhood was stirring. She measured its length in her hand, feeling it harden and grow as she did. When she left it, Sebastian groaned playfully, but lay still when she gave him a gentle slap on the hip.
 

She hadn't seen in the dark before how scarred he was. The thick scar on his flank was only the beginning, and she saw how centuries of warring and battle could take its toll. She ran her finger along one narrow scar on his thigh, and when he gasped, she did it again. She wanted to tell him that it was its own kind of beauty, the marks he had got from defending others and preventing harm from coming to them. There was such strength in him, such courage to survive what he had.
 

Nicolette barely knew what she was doing when she dropped her head to lap at his scars, first the one he showed her, and then the narrow one on his thigh. One hand fisted in the sheets, and the other came up to touch her face. She shivered at the gentleness that she saw there. She knew that no matter what, this man would live in her heart as long as she lived.
 

She concentrated on touching him as much as she could, and when he reached for her, she pushed his hands back down to his sides. She wanted all of him, and she wanted to give him the kind of pleasure that he deserved.

Inquisitively, she brushed her cheek against his hard member, making him groan, and when she ran the flat of her tongue up his shaft, his entire body shook. She wanted to do more, but then his hands were on her shoulders, dragging her up to lie on top of his body. The pleading look he gave her told her that he couldn't take much more, and with a slight smile, she reached for the nightstand.

She knew the lore of the Wiccans. Her powers awoke the first time she had sex. The first time she had unprotected sex with her own kind, however, that triggered the potential for immortality that lived in all of them. Some Wiccans pursued that immortality, and others turned away from it. It was there in front of her, a gift that she was now certain that Sebastian would allow her to take, but she found that she couldn't. Something held her back. Instead, she rolled the thin latex sheath down Sebastian's cock. She didn't know if she was protecting herself or protecting him, but she knew she couldn't think of it now. Instead, she threw one leg over his hip, and reaching down to take his member firmly in one hand, she started to lower herself.
 

In this position, he felt larger than he had that night in the field, and biting her lip, she forced herself to move slowly. His hand on her hips guided her, and she set both of her hands on his chest. It was a long moment before he was fully sheathed inside her. They were both utterly still. He reached up to touch her face, a gesture so full of tenderness that she could have cried. Instead, she shifted her weight with a slow circling motion, and they both groaned instead.
 

Nicolette reveled in the power she had. She lifted herself up, and then pushed herself down. The stroke was long and smooth, and she wasn't sure she had ever felt as much pleasure before in her life. She did it again, and again, and it was as if something broke in Sebastian.

The hands on her hips tightened, and she found herself lifted and then pressed back down. Her eyes widened as she realized that he was strong enough to simply lift her, and then she moaned at the pleasure it brought her. One hand drifted down to finger her own clit while he lifted her, and the pleasure began to build low in her belly.

She had dedicated the night to silence, but soon she realized that she was whispering “please, please, oh please,” under her breath. She didn't know what she was asking for, but Sebastian did, and he thrust up into her with a force that took her breath away. There was something ferocious about the way they joined, but there was a strange tenderness to it as well.

She wanted all of this man, she wanted everything, but the gulf between them had never been wider. Instead, all she could do was cling to him, to force both of their bodies towards a constellation of pleasure, and give him what she could of her heart and her body in the short time that they had together.
 

The sounds he made drove her onward, and they sent shivers up her spine. He needed her with something that verged on primal, that drew out the savagery of all of his years spent wandering the world. With every thrust and every stroke, they came closer to something at the core of themselves. They were revealing themselves to each other in a way that was totally new. Perhaps she should have been terrified, but instead she embraced it. She reached for her pleasure and his. She needed him, and she knew that this night was the only time she was going to get it. They would never be here again, and she knew she would never forget this.
 

The tremors of pleasure started to shake her body, and she knew that she would go over soon. Still, she held on, aching for more and begging him with her motions to come with her, to fall with her.
 

He thrust into her one last time, his body taut as he spilled, and finally, she allowed herself to follow. Her climax rolled over her like an ocean wave, dragging her under and taking her breath away. It drew on and on, and the only thing that tethered her to the earth were his hands on her hips. When her vision cleared, they were still intimately connected, and she was draped over him. There was a smile on her lips. The haze of her pleasure would carry this night forward with her no matter where she went or who she chose to walk with.

She pulled herself off of him carefully, but that was all the energy she had. She lay in a tumble by his side, and when he got up, she protested with a soft sound, but could not bring herself to do more. In a moment, he was back beside her, and she purred with pleasure when he ran a warm washcloth over her body. Nicolette rolled over onto her back, her legs slightly parted to allow him to clean her more thoroughly, and when he was done, she nestled in his arms.

“Gods above, I love you, woman.”
 

Nicolette froze at his words. She could feel them on her own tongue, but she already knew that what they had done would be branded on her soul until the day she died. She couldn't bear another chain, and so she stayed silent.

After a long moment, he sighed and came to curl up against her body. They fit just as well as they had fit the night in the field. Despite all of the trouble, all of the grief, and all of the pain between them, she could feel herself grow calm simply from being held against him.

“I love you,” she whispered, and he paused.

“Then come with me.”
 

There it was, stark and bare, and she could have wept.

“I can't.”

He was silent. There was no answer he could give her, nothing that could persuade her, and after that was silence.

OF COURSE HE knew when she started to stir awake. He had had centuries of battle experience that left him far too sensitive to any movements in his vicinity. When she slid out of his arms, he awakened immediately.
 

He wanted to call her back to him. He wanted to grab her and bring her back to bed. Perhaps they would make love again, or perhaps they would simply hold each other. He could have said it was too early for her to leave. He could have said many things.

Instead, he simply watched her through slit eyes as she dressed in the predawn light. She hung the green dress she had worn the day before over the chair. She put her T-shirt and her shorts back on. There was something so final about it that Sebastian could have screamed, but he kept himself silent. He had had centuries of staying quiet, no matter what the circumstances, but he didn't think that any of it was as hard as what he was enduring while she dressed herself only feet away from him.
 

Sebastian saw her hesitate, and he could tell that she didn't know that he was awake. He held his breath as she padded close to him, and the seconds seemed endless as she looked at him.

Stay,
he thought. In another world, he might have been humiliated at the plea in that single word.
Stay, and we'll do what you want. I will protect you for all of my days, and I will bring you nothing but joy, nothing but pleasure.

Sebastian's well-honed senses detected her shiver. It was as if she had heard his thoughts, and she reached her hand to him. Sebastian stayed stock still as she touched his hair, his cheek, his shoulder and his chest. Her touch was as light as a butterfly's and instinctively he knew that she was trying to memorize him. His life suddenly stretched out long in front of him.
 

Finally, that gentle torture ended, and she placed a soft kiss on his lips. She tasted good, she tasted right, and it was all that he could do not to leap up, seize her and make her stay.

“Goodbye, my love,” she whispered, and then she turned.

The door closed behind her with a final click, and finally, Sebastian could sit up. At first, he had no interest in doing so, but a lifetime of discipline would not allow him to linger in bed or to wallow in his own grief. He touched his lips with his fingertips, and it was as if her kiss still burned there. He had kissed many women over the long centuries, and he had thought that he had loved some of them, but now he wasn't so sure. Now love tasted like Nicolette, and it felt like her sweet body in his arms, and it looked like her brave smile.
 

There was a chill that pervaded his bones, and he wondered if he was ever going to get warm. He shook the grim thought off and went to the kitchen to get a pot of coffee started up. There was a war to fight. He had been ignoring Stephan all day yesterday. He knew through long experience that life waited for neither pleasure or pain.

It was time to get back to what his real life was. It was time to move on.

THE CIRCUS WAS having a rare day off, and as a result, it was mostly deserted when Nicolette came back. They were gearing up to leave the next day, and though tomorrow would be a frenzy of packing up and moving out, this morning was quiet.

Nicolette could have wished for a day full of bustling customers and excitable crowds where she could get lost. The desolation of the circus struck a deep chord in her, and she wondered if it was time to move on. She had moved so frequently over the past few years that following a circus didn't seem like a far step. Because she didn't have a contract, she was even more loosely affiliated than the artists and laborers who worked the big top. As long as she left her trailer in reasonably good condition, she could be gone from the circus in just a few days.

She thought about the logistics of moving on because it was easier than thinking about Sebastian. She owed him a great deal. She knew that he had committed some kind of transgression simply by allowing her to remain on her own. That he had spent an entire day training her and helping her improve was something that was totally beyond the call of duty.

No, not duty, love,
her traitorous mind whispered, and now that the thought was there, she could no longer deny it. Even if it was uttered in the throes of passion, it was honest. If she hadn't believed it, she had the proof of it in her glimpse of his aura. The memory of that golden glow around his head was something that she would always treasure. It was a rare thing to see, and she knew with utter certainty that if an aura reader could look at her, he or she would see that hers matched his.

Vacek had had many books, and one of them had said that an aura of true love was not a thing often seen. Perhaps one in fifty people would show it during their lifetime; fewer still would be able to carry it forward. She and Sebastian had something special, and the fact that it was over left her shaking.