Second Chance (35 page)

The call came three days later. Holding the phone to his ear, Cole stood at the window overlooking the backyard where Keeley played on the swings with Hannah. As he listened to Honor’s report of how Wesley Tuttle’s body had been discovered by the weekly maid at a motel miles from Fairview, he watched the two people who’d become so important to him look up at the same time, wave and smile.

Cole couldn’t manage a smile, but he waved and turned around, unable to look at the sweet scene as he heard the news that would crush Keeley once more.
With Wesley’s death, there were no apparent leads to find Hailey.

“You’re sure it was a suicide?”

“Cases like this rarely give an absolute certainty.” Honor sounded as tired and dispirited as Cole felt. “There’s no suicide note, but no evidence that he had company either. The place wasn’t wiped clean of prints. So far, other than Tuttle, there’re at least two dozen other prints. It isn’t exactly a higher-end motel; these rooms are rented by the hour. We’ll keep running the prints.” The frustration in her tone was an indication that she didn’t expect anything good to come from the prints.

“The gun was stolen a couple of years ago from a pawnshop in Raleigh. We’ll wait for the official word from the coroner after he does the autopsy. But for right now, it’s looking like a suicide.”

Knowing it was useless, he asked anyway. “And there’s nothing he left behind that gives any clues?”

“No. The suitcase was filled with nothing but clothes, toiletries, and about two thousand in cash. No receipts or credit cards. Nothing that tells us anything about this guy. You saw his apartment … it was nothing but a garbage dump of beer cans and food wrappers. Neighbors say they rarely saw him, and when they did, he was always alone. Landlord only knew he was paid up in his rent … that’s all he cared about.

“The cabin where he took Keeley belonged to him, but that’s the only thing we know about it. It wasn’t really habitable, even for a pig like Tuttle, so he apparently didn’t spend a lot of time there.” She took a long breath and added, “I’m sorry. I know this is going to upset Keeley.”

Major understatement, but Cole said, “Yeah. Listen, call me if anything—even the most inconsequential-looking evidence—shows up. I’ve got to figure out a
way to break this to her. It’d be nice if I had something even remotely hopeful to tell her.”

“I’ll try, but don’t count on it.”

“Thanks.” Cole closed the phone. Before he headed outside, he went looking for Shea. Keeley wouldn’t want Hannah to be anywhere close by to hear a discussion about Tuttle.

The instant smile Keeley gave when she spotted him and Shea coming toward her made Cole’s chest tighten. He hated having to tell her this news. No, it wasn’t the death knell to their investigation, but the small amount of optimism they’d felt at finding Tuttle and getting him to talk had disappeared. It was now back to square one.

Keeley saw something in his expression, because her smile slipped and her eyes went somber. She stood and Cole could see her visibly preparing for bad news. Looking down at her daughter, she said, “Hannah, why don’t you go with Shea and let her read you a story?”

Since story time was still two hours away, Hannah looked thrilled with the idea. She jumped up and ran toward Shea, who held out her hand and led the little girl to the house.

“What is it?”

“They found Wesley Tuttle.”

She wrapped her arms around herself. “And?”

“He’s dead. Self-inflicted gunshot wound.”

Her head shook slowly in denial. “That makes no sense. Why would he kill himself? Why not just get out of town?”

“I don’t know. The coroner’s doing an autopsy.”

Keeley shuddered and closed her eyes. “We were so close.”

He wrapped her in his arms. Her words muffled against his chest, she said, “Getting Wesley was our last chance, wasn’t it? We’ll never find Hailey.”

“That’s not true, Keeley. A week ago, we didn’t even
know about Tuttle and we still had hope. Yeah, it would’ve been great if we could have asked him, but that doesn’t mean we won’t find her.”

She pulled away and worked at a brave smile. “You’re right. At least he told me she was in another country. That’s something.”

His heart hurt for her because it might be something, but it was a piss-poor substitution for being able to question the bastard himself. Finding out Hailey had been transported out of the country wasn’t even a big surprise. Human trafficking to various parts of the world had become big business. She could be anywhere.

“So what’s next?”

“There’s something else. I hate to bring this up right now, but with Tuttle dead, the threat against you and Hannah is over. Shea and Ethan will probably get a new assignment.”

She nodded. “That makes sense.” Her throat worked convulsively as she asked, “Are you leaving, too?”

He pulled her against him again. “Hell no. We’re getting Hailey back, sweetheart. I promise. I won’t leave until we do.”

“But what about your job?”

“This is my job until she comes home. Period.”

A soft, sighing sob shuddering through her body, Keeley burrowed against him.

With the threats against her gone, Cole was more than aware that there was one more thing Keeley needed to know. The reason for withholding the truth from her no longer existed. She had to know who had killed Stephen.

Tightening his arms around the woman who’d come to mean the world to him, Cole closed his eyes against the reality of what he must do and the burning question of how Keeley would react.

Would she still want him in her life, knowing he had killed her husband?

   Cole sat alone in Keeley’s darkened office. Hannah was being tucked in; Shea and Ethan were packing.

The dismal news of Wesley’s death had cast a dark cloud over everyone. In an effort to give Keeley and Hannah a bit of relief, he had insisted the three of them go to a movie of Hannah’s choice that afternoon. Sitting in a darkened theater on a Tuesday afternoon with Keeley and Hannah had been the most fun he’d had in years. It hadn’t been the talking animals on the screen, but hearing Hannah’s laughter and seeing Keeley’s corresponding smiles at that laughter, that had given him a sense of enjoyment he’d thought he’d never feel again.

After the movie, they’d picked up a pizza, carried it home, and watched cartoons. Now an exhausted Hannah was being tucked in and Cole was about to do one of the most difficult things he could remember ever having to do. How did you tell the woman you loved that you were her husband’s murderer?

The fact that it had been unintentional and he hadn’t known what he was doing at the time didn’t lessen the sin of his not being truthful with her at the beginning. He had his reasons, but would her anger and hurt keep her from understanding them?

With Tuttle dead and the threat against Keeley and Hannah gone, the only real reason for him to stay here was to give Keeley support. Hailey was still out there somewhere and Cole would never give up looking for her. The contacts LCR had all over the world gave him up-to-the-minute accounts in the search for Keeley’s daughter. He would bring Hailey home to her mother if it was the last thing he did. But whether he stayed here while that search continued was entirely up to Keeley.

“What are you doing down here in the dark?”

Shea stood in the doorway. The light from the hallway highlighted the concern in her eyes.

“I’m going to tell Keeley the truth,” Cole said.

Silently she stepped inside the room, turned on the light, and then closed the door. As she dropped into a chair across from him, he read her expression perfectly. She was almost as torn as he was. Shea and Ethan had come close to losing each other because Ethan had kept secrets.

“How do you think she’ll handle it?” Shea asked.

“I have no idea, but there’s no reason to keep it from her any longer.”

“Would you like me to talk to her? I could help her to understand what happened.”

“Can you make her understand why I lied to her in the first place?”

“You didn’t lie … you just didn’t tell her everything. And you had your reasons.”

“Kind of the way Ethan did?”

Tears glazed her eyes. “I forgave him … she’ll forgive you.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. How do you tell a woman you killed her husband and oh, by the way, sorry that you didn’t happen to mention it sooner?”

“It wasn’t your fault, Cole.”

He wished he could believe that. “It was my decision to go into that warehouse without backup. If I hadn’t done that, Stephen wouldn’t have died and you wouldn’t have gone through hell.”

“You were tricked, Cole. You thought you were saving a life. And you can’t live your life filled with what-ifs and if-onlys. Ethan and I suffered through that already. Living in the past, letting regrets color everything, is no way to live.”

Cole got to his feet. “I may be leaving tonight …
depending upon Keeley’s response. Can you stay a day or two extra if she needs you?”

“Absolutely. But don’t borrow trouble. Tell her everything; make her understand. I’m sure it will be all right.”

Wishing he was as confident, Cole twisted the doorknob. It was now or never. Might as well get it over with.

He opened the door, then jerked to a stop. Keeley stood in front of him, her face death pale; tears and accusation filled her eyes. His gaze dropped down to her hand. She was holding Hannah’s baby monitor.

“I left the other monitor in my office … was about to come get it.” She swallowed a small sob. “Guess I should have left it down here sooner, huh?”

Shit
.

“I’m sorry.” Since she’d apparently heard everything, what else could he say?

She took a breath and said, “I guess you’d better explain.”

“Do you want me to stay?” Shea asked behind him.

Unable to look away from Keeley’s accusing stare, Cole answered without turning. “No. I’ll handle this.”

Nodding, she passed Keeley, who flinched as if she thought Shea would say something. Shea just shook her head and walked past her. There was more than one bridge to mend here.

“Let’s go inside.” He turned back to go into the office.

“So I guess you were coming up to tell me?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I—”

“No excuses, Cole. Just the truth.”

He went back into the office and waited for her to come in. He’d be damned if he’d stand in the middle of her hallway while he spilled his guts.

He watched as Keeley came inside, closed the door, and then leaned against it with her arms crossed defensively
in front of her. Several emotions crossed her expressive face; the one that tore at him the most was the look of betrayal. She’d been betrayed so many times already. How was he going to convince her this wasn’t just one more?

She took a deep breath as if preparing herself and said, “Tell me.”

Cole sat on the edge of the sofa. While he hated relaying his hellacious experience, if anyone deserved to hear about it, it was Keeley. “Remember I told you I was kidnapped and drugged?”

She nodded.

“It was Donald Rosemount.”

“The same man who kidnapped Stephen?”

“Yes.”

“Noah McCall told me that another victim of Rosemount killed Stephen. You were that victim.”

“Yes.”

“How … why?”

“I was on an op with Shea and Ethan. Did something stupid and got captured. After Rosemount had his fun with me, he drugged me with one of his new concoctions. It was a cocktail of drugs designed to erase all memory and free will. I had no cognitive thought … only did what the bastard ordered me to do. I was supposed to abduct Stephen, not harm him. Only they gave me too much of the drug … I went berserk … and killed him.”

Her gasping sob tore at his heart. Cole swallowed past the mountain of regret building in his throat and continued, “I didn’t realize what had happened for a long time, because they drugged me every day. Then … something happened and they stopped dosing me for a while. That’s when I realized I’d killed someone … an innocent man. I had killed others, but this one I remembered because somehow I knew it had been wrong.”

Keeley could feel panic and hysteria building inside her, and she couldn’t seem to tamp it down. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to … so many times. My number one priority was finding your daughters and making sure you stayed safe. I figured if you knew, you wouldn’t want me here.” He stood and faced her. “I had to be here.”

Cole’s beautiful eyes were filled with sadness. Lying eyes. She felt like such a fool. Once again, she was the last to know. Once again, the only one left in the dark.

When was she going to learn her lesson? She freely admitted that she was naïve, but only recently had she realized how much that naïveté crossed over into stupidity.

And in front of her was the best man she’d ever known. The only man she thought she could love after what Stephen had done. The one man she thought she could trust. And now, she didn’t know what was the truth and what was shaded by his guilt. She had thought they had a future together, but how far had his guilt taken him?

“That’s why you came here? Out of guilt?”

“Guilt. Responsibility.”

“Is that why we … why you …” It hurt too much. She couldn’t finish the thought.

“Dammit to hell, no! I don’t fuck out of guilt.”

She jerked at his crudeness but refused to back down. “Then why?”

His head shaking slowly, he let out a laugh so bitter, Keeley flinched at the grating sound.

“You know, I’ve been through this scenario in my mind a hundred times. Not once did I think you’d accuse me of a pity hard-on. For your information, Keeley, men don’t get erections because they feel sorry for someone.”

“Then why, Cole?”

“If you have to ask that question … if you really can’t figure it out for yourself, then there’s no reason for me to stay.”

She couldn’t think straight … couldn’t deal with the hurt and the betrayal. “After the things Stephen did, I never thought I’d be able to trust another man … but I trusted you.”

“If I had told you the truth, what would you have done?”

“I don’t know, but I would have liked to have been given a choice.”

“What do you want me to do?”