“Anna would kill for the chance to go to a debutant ball,” he said as he looked across the room. “It’s not all positives. It hurts sometimes.” He thought about Pete’s funeral. About his mother’s tears. “It hurts a lot.”
“So does being alone.” She whispered the words and he felt like the world’s biggest jerk. She was so sad over there by that big bed. Sad and sexy as hell and what he wanted to do was slip that rock show t-shirt over her head, those well-worn jeans off her legs and slide inside her again and again until she came apart in his arms.
But that would be a bad idea on a colossal level.
So instead he tried to go back to teasing. “Hey
cariña
. Quit being so serious. I bet I can find Scrabble. You up for a game?”
She laughed and, thank you Jesus, the moment was broken. “I’m not playing naked Scrabble with you.”
“And here I thought you were living life on the edge,” he said. “Fine. You can keep your clothes on. But it’s not my fault you lose.”
“You cheat,” she said but he could tell she didn’t really believe it.
“Like you can cheat at Scrabble. Come on. We’ll play with our clothes on.”
The next day, Lil walked into her boring little house and tried not to be offended when Joseph whistled through his teeth and asked, “Where’s the pictures?”
“I don’t have pictures. And don’t be mean. I didn’t actually invite you.”
Joseph laughed and walked back to her kitchen. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember. I’m here as your baby sitter.”
She was going to kill David. Kill him. “No you’re here to help.”
“That’s me. I’m all about helping,” Joseph said before popping the top on one of the beers that had been in her fridge for God only knew how long.
“Go ahead and make yourself at home,” she teased and he laughed.
“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you and David hooked up again. He needs you. You’re the only one who gets him, you know?”
This was killing her.
She tried to smile, said thanks and then ducked into her bedroom.
She should probably say something about it being a little early for beer. But that would be butting into business she didn’t belong anywhere near.
Joseph had been her student three years earlier when his father had died. She liked him a lot. Enough that it bothered her to lie to him about her relationship with his brother. But today he was a grown man. He didn’t need her mothering him. Like she would have a clue how anyway.
She grabbed a few clothes and tossed them in the suitcase because she had to make this look real.
The truth was she’d needed to get away. Last night had been too much…everything.
She needed to get out of David’s space and remember the truth about who she was and who they weren’t.
Only David had insisted she bring Joseph along. So getting away wasn’t an option.
“You bringing the magnetic poetry over to David’s?” Joseph asked, and she laughed.
“Why? Are you going to compose odes to your brother?”
He laughed back. “Nah. But he’d get a kick out of it.”
That was the truth wasn’t it? David got a kick out of just about everything.
Last night’s game of Scrabble had lasted hours. She’d never laughed so much in her life.
It would be so much easier if she just lusted after David instead of liking him.
“Woo hoo.” Nancy’s call echoed through her house. “Joseph Martinez, it is way too early in the day for you to be drinking beer. And why weren’t you at church today?”
Lil laughed at the uncomfortable silence followed by a quick, “Uh, hello Ms. Valdez.”
Then there Nancy was standing in her door with Joseph behind her, the beer glaringly absent. “If Ms. Valdez is going to be here, I’ll just go on home.”
Nancy crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. “You go on home. I’ll see you at church next week. If you’re home from school.”
With that Joseph was gone and Nancy was left to shake her head. “That boy’s headed for trouble.”
“Nancy, he’s a kid.” Lil remembered something about being twenty-one. It wasn’t easy. “So what brings you by?”
Nancy brushed her hands down her burnt orange jacket, the rings on her fingers glinting in the sunlight. “I saw your car and thought I’d stop by. You taking more stuff over to David’s?”
More lies. Lil nodded. “A few more things. You’re welcome to help.”
“Of course I’ll help,” Nancy looked at the suitcase and frowned. “Are you sure about this Lil?”
Oh great. “Sure about…?”
“This. David. Moving in.”
“Yeah,” Lil nodded, smiled tightly. “I mean definitely. I’m absolutely sure.”
“It’s just he really broke your heart last time.”
Yeah. He really did. “That was then.”
“And he’s still a playboy, you know. Not the settling kind.”
Lil wanted to groan. “Nancy, David is not a playboy.”
Nancy shrugged. “Not in the traditional sense. He doesn’t go around with a bunch of different girls tossing them aside like nothing, but he’s not ready to grow up. He spent too many years taking care of his brothers and sisters while his parents ran that restaurant.”
“Nancy…” Lil trailed off and Nancy reached out, hugged her and Lil let her even though she wanted to pull away.
“I know,” Nancy shrugged again. “I just worry about you.”
Time to move this conversation on. “Don’t worry about me.” She tossed another pair of shoes into the case then looked at Nancy again and smiled. “New suit?”
Not that it was that big of a guess really. The brown slacks and orange jacket screamed new. The matching scarf, and purse accented the shoes that showed off Nancy’s new pedicure.
“I bought it yesterday.” She sighed again. “I was hoping it would make an impact on the girls.”
The girls. Nancy’s girls. The barrio girls of Our Lady. Nancy worked with them on a weekly basis. Helping them with English and other skills.
“They didn’t like it?”
They usually loved Nancy.
“Half of them weren’t there. And Celinda Castro went back across the border with her abusive boyfriend. Her mother wept in my arms, and I couldn’t say anything other than I’m sorry.”
Lil’s heart broke. Nancy was such a champion for the barrio girls. It was one of the reasons Lil thought she’d know more about Degas.
“I’m sorry, Nancy.”
Nancy shrugged the words away. “Nothing to be done about it now. They’ve closed ranks though. The silence of the barrio.”
“Closed ranks on what?”
Nancy paced in frustration. “Degas. The monster. It’s like the Hernandez family fell off the face of the earth and no one’s talking about it.”
Lil looked up in surprise. “They’re not talking to you?”
Nancy laughed bitterly. “You think the color of my skin, my last name, the fact that my mother and grandmother lived there and crossed the border to find work makes a difference? No.” She shook her head. “The day I went to Austin to fight for their educational rights, that changed. The day I lobbied DC, it was over. I’m not one of them and they know it. Degas is a monster, but not a monster they’ll talk to me about.”
Lil blinked and tried to hide her surprise at Nancy’s anger, at her total belief in a man she wasn’t even sure existed Friday.
“You told Stan you weren’t sure what you believed.”
Nancy rolled her eyes. “Like Stan cares one way or another about someone like Degas.”
“So you believe he’s real. That he took the Hernandez family.”
Nancy walked over to the door, looked outside then stepped to the window before turning toward her. “He’s real and he’s dangerous. It’s too late for the Hernandez family.”
Lil’s heart thudded in her chest and she tried to think of a way to talk about this without letting Nancy know about David, about Ryan. “But Miguel could still be alive.”
Nancy shook her head sadly. “If he is, I feel for the poor kid.”
“What do you know, Nancy?”
She laughed sadly. “What do I know? Nothing. No one’s talking. That alone speaks volumes, Lil.”
This didn’t make sense. She needed David. Or Ryan. Or someone. “Volumes about what?”
“Everything and nothing. Just…”
Nancy wanted to tell her something. She knew something. But she was afraid. “Just what?”
For a second Nancy looked at her, just looked at her with this serious frown on her face. She was going to tell her what she knew. Lil could feel it. She leaned forward and waited.
Finally Nancy spoke. “Just tomorrow when the cops are there asking questions, be careful about mentioning the name Degas. We don’t know anything more than a bunch of teenaged gossip. No sense putting a target on our backs.”
That wasn’t what she was going to say. Lil closed her eyes and wished someone who knew about this kind of thing were there to help.
But no one was. It was her and Nancy. No one else. She opened her eyes and saw Nancy watching her face closely. Looking for what exactly?
“Are you trying to warn me about something, Nancy?”
Nancy laughed the question away. “Warn you? Lil it’s just like I told you. The barrio’s closed ranks and I’m not allowed in. It just feels dangerous. You know?”
So that was that. She wasn’t going to tell more.
Lil forced herself to continue the lie. “You’re not kidding. And now with the policeman dead.”
Nancy shuddered. “I’m feeling in desperate need of a hot fudge sundae. You up for one?”
Not at all. Lil’s stomach clenched at the idea. But she wasn’t one to turn down ice cream and Nancy knew that. Besides maybe while they were out, she’d break, say what it was she knew or thought she knew or had heard at church. “You know me and ice cream.”
She grabbed her suitcase and walked out of her house hoping maybe afterwards she’d have something to help in the search for Miguel.
A few hours later she was no closer to knowing the truth.
David was busy arranging her poetry magnets into dirty poems. His brother had been right about that.
“Joseph told me you’d like those.”
David wagged his eyebrows suggestively. “Come read this one.”
She sighed loudly. “No thanks. I think I’ve had enough.”
His last creation had included the words want, need and lust. No telling what he’d done this time.
“You going to tell me what’s bothering you? Other than that nasty Chinese food you brought home for supper.”
She almost smiled. He liked the egg rolls anyway. “Nancy.”
“Valdez?”
She nodded. “She stopped by today. Helped me pack.”
“Let me guess. She warned you away from a no good guy like me.”
“No. Yes.” She shook her head. “That didn’t matter. I think she knows something about Degas.”
That got his attention. Once she finished relaying the story from earlier he didn’t seem too concerned. “The barrio’s silent. She’s right. That’s not normal.”
“No. It was more than that. She wanted to say something today, but she didn’t.”
He handed her a Dr Pepper. “You’re seeing ghosts where none exist. It’ll probably happen a few times, Lil. It’s part of this job.”
He was probably right. She sipped the Dr Pepper and smiled when she caught him watching her. “What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. I just like watching you drink Dr Pepper. It’s sexy as hell.”
She laughed. “Shut up, David.”
But he didn’t. “I’m serious, Lil. Everything about you is sexy.”
“And off limits.”
He acknowledged her words with a simple nod of his head.
She sipped the soda again. “That’s driving you crazy isn’t it?”
“What?”
Like he didn’t know perfectly well.
“That I’m off limits. That we’re playing pretend.”
“Yeah. I bet it’s driving you a little crazy too.”
He had no idea. Or maybe he did.
“I’m not doing this David.” She set the glass on his coffee table and watched a bead of sweat fall. “This isn’t a game to me.”
David watched the sweat fall from the side of her glass to the edge of the latest Sports Illustrated. The guys at SI had no freaking idea about Signs of the Apocalypse.
She wanted him. He could see it in the blue pools of her eyes, in how the tiny hairs on her arms lifted to attention, in how her lips separated slightly when he stepped forward.
She was right. This wasn’t a game.
He stepped back. “I’ll call Ryan. Give him a heads up on Nancy. See what he knows.”
For a second she didn’t say anything.
He wondered what she was thinking. If she asked, he was going to kiss her, and it wasn’t going to stop there. No way in hell was it stopping there.
Finally she blew out a long breath. “Okay. Good. Okay.” And then she grabbed her Dr Pepper and a romance novel off the table. “I’m going to take a bath then go to bed.”
And she practically sashayed out of the room leaving him with one hell of a boner. And visions he’d spend years trying to scrub from his mind.
The next morning sucked royally. Lil hoped like hell it sucked just as bad for David. She’d barely slept at all.
Instead she’d spent all night envisioning him touching her, kissing her, making love to her. His every breath had her on edge. All freaking night.
She’d nearly crawled into that stupid sleeping bag with him and told him to just get it over with before they both went crazy.
Not even reciting SAT vocabulary could get him out of her soul, her heart, her body’s very detailed memory.
Crap.
She grabbed her attendance sheets and her daily bulletin from her box and ran smack dab into Mr. Miller. Thank God she didn’t have her coffee yet.
“Good morning, Mr. Miller.”
The principal grabbed her attendance sheets before they fell to the floor, handed them to her. “Heard your place was broken into.”
Of course he had. Funny Nancy hadn’t mentioned it at all yesterday. Surely she’d heard too. “My students will be thrilled. Whoever it was took my bag and all the papers I planned on grading.”
“Glad it wasn’t worse.”
She nodded. “They took David’s electronics and his cookies.”
“Crime spree. With that officer shot at a robbery the night before maybe it was a good thing you weren’t home at the time.”