Second Chance with Love (6 page)

"Keep praying for strength. God will comfort you." Melanie always stayed positive.

"I know. Listen, I've got to get back to the team or I'll call you once we land."

"And don't worry about Aaron he's..." Melanie began. "Who am I kidding; it's your job to worry, I guess. But rest assured God is watching over him, just as he is watching over all of us. Okay?"

"It makes me feel much better to hear it said every now and then." Hilda said. "If there's anything, make sure you call immediately."

God provided her with the courage to undertake mission trips and opened the door for her to participate in short term trips despite the cost. Yes, her weakness had been preyed upon, and as a consequence, fears and doubts plagued her.

"Just go and help whoever you can through Christ. We really admire you, Hilda."

Hilda thanked Melanie for her warm words. She ended the call feeling stronger and more confident about her direction. Hilda stood up in a better mood, and turned the corner only to collide with a brick wall. Hilda looked up and was startled to see Aaron's eyes.

The eyes were definitely Aaron's eyes only darker... older... and serious. The eyes of a soldier.

She dropped her phone to clasp a hand to her mouth.

Her shame. The very thing she was running from, hiding from, had found her. The fight, her strength and resolve, all escaped in a single gasp. Hilda's phone slipped from her hand. She quickly went to pick it up. Believing if she looked away, he'd disappear, likely a projection of her wild imagination. As she rose from picking up the phone, he was still there. The man who she fell for six years ago, whose bed she chose over her faith in Christ, her temptation to backslide. He never wanted marriage, Christianity or even fatherhood, he said he just wanted her. This had overwhelmed her, she was young and not fully aware of the dangers of lust.

After six years, why here? Why now? She took her Christianity seriously, even though he was a Christian and raised in a Christian household. Back then, she only wanted to impress him, and she had hidden her joy for Christ away from him.

"Hey Red. I almost didn't recognize you." His eyes were dazzled as he watched her, as if he couldn't believe that she was real.

His hair was short at the sides with scruffy curls on top. He wore a tank top and had the same athletic build that she remembered. The combat trousers, large backpack, and army boots didn't escape her attention. He and Scott were in the army back then. Apparently, he was still a soldier.

Hilda didn't meet his eyes. She tried to look around for an exit. The mission team, Charles, her mother, they were all erased from her concerns. All she could do was think about Aaron. She needed to get to him. Seeing Nathan here frazzled her nerve endings with panic.

Red. He always called her Red. Hilda shut it out.

"I couldn't believe my eyes. I still can't. What are you doing here?"

Hilda retreated, but when her back met the solid wall, she knew she was trapped.

He stepped closer.

"All these years, I've thought about you. After we--”

Hilda flinched, folding her arms to her stomach, she turned away.

"Why did you up and leave?"

The question was stab to the gut. The life he suggested for them six years ago was not the one she wanted to live. He was a dominant personality and he would have left her without a moment's hesitation, should she have gone against him.

She clenched her jaw. Taking a deep breath, she looked at him.
Relax
, she told herself,
I am not the person from six years ago
.

"It's been a long time, Nathan." She fought for calm. For composure. For patience. But she couldn't help latching onto him with an intense glare.

In response, Nathan leveled her with his dark eyes, making it obvious her indifference displeased him.

"Really Hilda? After all this time that's all you've got? I didn't know what happened to you, I was worried out of my mind. And now with you acting like leaving the way you did is not a big deal? It wasn't some little one night stand."

Hilda began to shudder. Her folded arms flapped and her knees knocked. She fought hard for composure. Astounded by seeing him here and him dredging up the past overwhelmed her. Terrified she might fall over, she managed to keep her balance by pressing a palm to the wall, despite the fact that panic, worry, and angst raged within her.

Beginning to speak, it proved too difficult to continue looking into his narrow eyes. So she focused on the hand pressed to the wall – it had turned a red with a bluish cast.

"You made it clear that you never wanted to accept Christ, that you were just a Christian because of your family. Running away with you was a ridiculous idea. I just figured there was no future for us."

"We were under a lot of pressure from our families at the time. I wanted to be the type of man who could take charge and make decisions. I never though you'd just up and leave after one night."

Pain pulsed at the back of her mind. A plethora of guilt, frustration, and disbelief swelled her thoughts. She placed a hand on her stomach, a sickly heat filled the air, it become agonizingly difficult for her not to run.

"I left because I was a Christian, I didn't want the life you wanted. That night was my first time, I never had the courage to tell you that I did prefer marriage, that I did enjoy being a Christian. If you weren't going to wait, then there should have been no 'us'. I feared bringing a..." Hilda halted and shook her head.

"What are you saying that--”

"Excuse me." A voice from behind Nathan exclaimed.

Both Hilda and Nathan turned.

Hilda became flooded with relief when she saw Charles. He stood chest out, chin up, and stared directly at Nathan, who looked toward him.

"I don't meant to interrupt. The team is ready and waiting Hilda." Charles did not take his eyes off Nathan. "And who might you be, Sir?"

Nathan stood towering over Charles.

Then he did something Hilda didn't expect. He put out his hand. They shook hands and introduced themselves. This was unlike the Nathan, who liked to be called 'Nate', from Hilda's past. The Nathan of six years ago was a tattoo wearing, commanding guy who was always overprotective towards Hilda.

Seeing her opportunity, Hilda darted around the two men and made a beeline through the crowded airport to where her team stood. Hilda apologized for keeping everyone waiting. She felt it was important to get back to her work, to leave the past behind her. She dared not to glance over her shoulder. Soon Charles joined them. Hilda ignore his comments that Nathan was a nice guy, dangerous looking at first glance but very respectful.

Hilda knew if she looked back and didn't let go of the past, it would eat her. The past is the past for a reason. She could get wrapped up in her mistakes. She could let him back into her life. He could find out the truth.

Hilda sat on the plane, certain she would not see Nathan again. Then she realized she forgot something.

Her cell.

Chapter 3

He watched her keenly, with a touch of fear, a touch of need. Her amber eyes had disconcerted him, he felt mocked by them. Looking into her eyes, it felt impossible to reach her. But he knew she wanted to escape. Again. Sensitive to what she wanted, he let her meld into the group of people she was with, blend into her new life. She used to be wild and long. Now, it was cut short. Perhaps to represent the more reserved side she wanted to portray? Nathan wondered. Watching her in the crowd, he found it difficult to comprehend that the woman he looked at was Hilda. The girl he used to call 'Red' on account of how her hair looked like a living flame. She blazed with life back then. Cutting her hair appeared to be a gesture that was bitter, inconsolable, a depreciation of her own beauty, but harshly insistent that she has undergone a change, a change mixed with sadness and outrage.

Nathan stood watching her go, feeling helpless as she led the group toward the terminals. The man called Charles was next to her, he'd suggested that he and Hilda were quite close. Nathan knew when to back off. He needed to respect that she had moved on. He didn't want to be where she was going. It wasn't as if he would get much more out of her if they saw each other again.

Right then his foot brushed something. Looking down, he saw her cell. She had dropped it the moment when he accidentally startled her. He picked it up. What faced him sent a shockwave through his body. Nathan peered down at the face of a baby boy. Well, a toddler to be exact.

You have a son.

Nathan immediately, felt intrusive, that he'd seen too much already. Thick brown hair, freckles and tiny dark eyes, with a wide smile. This was Hilda Borja's son.

He became conscious of his breath, which drew in with long pulls, and when released felt as if it took a part of him. He picked up his rucksack and pocketed the cell. Questions bounced around inside his head like pinballs.

The change in her was striking and had caught him off guard. But now she was a mother, a devout Christian. Her slender shape seems harder, thinner, and if he were to hug her she would feel cold. He used to enjoy hugging her. Her lips looked downturned and unaccustomed to smiling.

Just seeing her turned every moment the spent together six years ago into a pin point needles. His headache returned. Seeing her evoked memories he'd rather have lain dormant. Over the years he'd tried hard to suppress them. A floodgate of memories returned. It was more than Nathan could handle.

They had courted for a year and in that time, he'd never met anyone like her. They permitted themselves to only meet in public, lest the temptation of lust overtake them and they gave into sin. But he grew disheartened with God, with his father. As his mother and father were going through a divorce. She never knew her father and only had the letter he left her, before he died. They read his letter often. And it had good Christian values. But Nathan wanted to keep Hilda safe. He started to thinking that faith in God was not the main thing to sustain a lifelong relationship. His parents had tried that and failed. Nor did faith mean much to lovers who would be together forever. Hilda's father died leaving her mother behind. He wanted to take her with him and get as much experience out of life because they never knew when they were going to die.

This struggle continued even after Hilda left. But the over the years he'd come to realize what faith truly involved. Just because he couldn't see good examples of sustained relationships in Christ, it didn't mean they were not there. As his faith grew, he began to see good examples. Scott and Melanie supported each other and put their faith in God. Even when they had their first miscarriage, they continued to have faith. His father and mother got back together and returned to marriage counseling.

There was hope.

Nathan boarded his flight, a first class military flight.

Her mother threatened to call the authorities the first few times he called the house after she disappeared on him. No one had known they were dating, they pretended they could keep their dating a "private" matter and things would not get out of control. Eventually he gave up and she resigned himself to the fact that she didn't want to be seen, when all trace of her disappeared, from her home, college, church. It tormented him. That's when he put all his attention back into his army career.

While on the plane to Guatemala, he removed the cell phone, her cell phone, from his trouser pocket. Nathan gave his head a shake "What are you planning here, God?" If this was meant to be then he imagined he knew where she would be, if there was more to her disappearing to be uncovered, then perhaps it would be revealed to him.

With things turning awry with Kiera, him bumping into Hilda, the possibility that they were going to the same place, her forgetting her cell. The picture of a child. The fact that she was now likely a mother.

"Very funny, God," Nathan said.

Chapter 4

“Over the next several days our focus will be taking each and everyone of you on a spiritual journey. Now I can't promise that it will be easy. But if you let it guide you, it will be a life changing journey. Thank you." The room erupted in applause and Hilda stepped down from the stage.

Everyone held hands and prayed.

They arrived in San Andrés, immediately embraced by the heat. After Hilda and Charles briefed the team on the mission over the next few weeks, everyone was allocated their rooms. Hilda shared a room with Abigail.

That night Hilda went to bed early, feeling particularly exhausted. Since landing, all she could do was worry about Aaron. How could she have left her phone? Sooner rather than later she would have to call her mother and plead for her to get in touch with Melanie and Scott.

Hilda paced the room. If something happened to Aaron she would lose her mind. If he fell while playing or had a nightmare or called out for her. Mosquito net wrapped around her on the bottom bunk. Knees drawn to her chest, the mantra of bad mother echoed through her head.

She would have taken comfort in knowing that there were hundreds of miles between herself and Nathan, but her carelessness of her forgetting her cell made her feel less safe. Aaron's picture was her screen saver; one look at him, his eyes, his hair and Nathan would have surely known. Or if he searched the messages to see if he could find one of her friends to return the cell, Nathan would be a little closer. Melanie's number was in the phone, he'd find out from them, she was here. Would he come all the way here, to San Andrés just to return a phone? Or would there be a more significant reason?