Second Chances (117 page)

The new conference was set to take place a week before classes resumed.  According to the new itinerary, her duties would include a literary lunch the first day where she would participate in a question and answer session.  Following the luncheon, she was asked to run one of the workshops.  It was recommended that she prepare handouts for as many as fifty people.  Sarah would have a few hours to enjoy one of the tours offered at no charge for the speakers.  Finally, she would enjoy an invitation only dinner (please select the chicken or beef entrée and list any known allergies).  The chairman of the committee organizing the conference promised she would be finished no later than 8:30pm.  It would be a full day, but one that also offered numerous perks and a modicum of prestige. And, most importantly, Sarah would only be required there for a day trip.  She could hop a commuter flight from Burlington to Boston in the morning and return late in the evening.  There would be no hotel reservations, no need to pack, and most significantly, no need to haul the family along with her.  So she didn’t.

On that lazy August morning, Sarah had leisurely awakened in Brian’s bed.  They had enjoyed another amazing bout of lovemaking that left her happily sore in the morning.  Brian had been terribly concerned that he had hurt her once he saw how gingerly she was moving, but Sarah just brushed it off explaining that it was a good hurt.  She gave him a kiss on the nose, which he then wrinkled in mock disgust, and hopped in the shower. 

At first, it seemed like any other morning and any other shower, but slowly she felt differently.  While the water pelted her skin, she concentrated with all her might.  She recognized the feeling growing within her.  It was a feeling that had tormented her numerous times throughout her life.  She bit her lower lip, knowing it could mean only one thing.  She had had a dream while she slept.  Naturally, it wasn’t just any dream.  It was one of
those
dreams.  And now she couldn’t remember it. 

She sighed.  Sarah knew how this worked.  As she moved through her day, she would be assaulted with images she had seen the night before.  An incredible sense of déjà vu would overwhelm her.  And, if the images didn’t arrive in a timely fashion, she would be unable to alter the course of events she had been shown, events she was meant to alter.  So many times she had failed in her mission to prevent something bad from happening.  Despite her mother’s protest, Sarah couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible for her father’s untimely death.  Now, she had the nagging fear to contend with.  She paused for a moment and fingered her necklace nervously.  The rose quartz necklace Brian had fashioned for her had become such a source of comfort.  Holding it tightly in her palm, she closed her eyes and waited for the calm to overtake her.  Sarah smiled sadly.  Brian’s protection spell. 
Love will save me
, she reminded herself.  A wry smile formed. 
And if that doesn’t work, I’ll save myself. 
Trembling still, she focused on getting ready.

That was when Brian experienced his first twinge, the first hint that something wasn’t
right
.  They had been so happy and relaxed the last few weeks that he forgot to pay attention, and now he was afraid of coming off as the overprotective boyfriend.  Still, the doubt was beginning to nag at him.  Brian paced for a moment then gave in and headed toward the bathroom.  He wandered into the shower and stared at Sarah for a few moments, trying to reassure himself that she was all right.

Instantly aware of his presence, she tried to hide her emotions.  “Going to join me?”  Sarah asked as she faced him and moved to the back of the shower to give him ample room.

Brian shook his head.  “No.”  He paused for a moment while he struggled with how to delicately phrase what his mind was torturing him with.  “Promise me you will be careful,” he began quietly.

Her brow furrowed.  It was one thing for her to worry, but it was entirely another that he should feel it too.  “Where is this coming from?”  Sarah needed to know if what he was feeling came from his bond with her or was the result of some external force.  Brian just shrugged.  All she could do now was reassure him to the best of her ability.  “You know I will.” 

He still looked upset.  She bent over to turn off the shower.  Brian stared at the amulet dangling around her neck.  He reached for a towel and wrapped her up in it.  He had intended for it to come off as a romantic and caring gesture, but his feelings were uncontrollable.  Instantly, she was crushed against his chest, her face pressed tight against her favorite spot on his neck.  His pulse beat rapidly.  “You are so much a part of me,” he whispered hoarsely into her wet hair.  He took a deep breath before summoning the courage to say what was torturing him.  “I don’t know if I remember how to be without you.”  He squeezed his eyes shut, unwilling and unable to let her see that deeply into him at the moment.

When Sarah looked at him, her heart ached for how visibly upset he was.  “Look at me,” she urged.  He finally opened his eyes, but instead of making eye contact, he stared at the floor.  She forced his face to meet hers, exerting her will upon his.  It was a mighty useful little trick that he was no doubt regretting he had ever taught her.  “Nothing can keep me from returning to you,” she said firmly, trying to convince both of them.  He still seemed unconvinced.  She stood on her tiptoes so that their faces were inches apart.  “I am yours.  Forever.  Nothing can change that.  I promise.”  And then she sealed her promise with a kiss.  It was a kiss filled with certainty and undeniable love.

But even that couldn’t lift Brian’s spirit.  “Some day we are going to make it official,” he warned.  It wasn’t the first time he had mentioned that he wanted to go beyond the ‘mating for life’ philosophy that had worked so well for his parents.  He knew that in her family, marriage was the expectation, not the exception.  As much as he loved her, he wanted to do it right, for her and for Chloe.  Sarah smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.  He sighed.  “Call me as soon as you can.”

Raising her fingers in a mock Girl Scout oath, she said, “I promise.”

Even Chloe sensed something was wrong as they left her mother at the airport.  “Mommy,” she said quietly.  “Don’t go.”  Immediately she threw her arms around her mother’s legs and willed her stay home. 

“Chloe, not you, too.”  This pained her even more than Brian’s worries.  Maybe she was just being foolish and stubborn to not back out.  Maybe she was letting her sense of duty override her common sense.  She hugged her daughter tightly while she gave a soft smile to Brian.  “I’ll be home to tuck you in.”  And as she slowly headed through security and to her gate, she realized that while she had meant what she said, even
she
wasn’t sure she believed it.

It was a short flight.  Sarah spent time reviewing her notes for her workshop.  She knew her topic inside out, so that wasn’t what was bothering her. 
It’s all their fault,
she rationalized. 
I wasn’t too concerned until they started in. 
Yet she knew she wasn’t upset with them in the least.  In fact, she was warmed by their genuine concern.  And Brenda’s words came rushing back to her. 
Love will save you
.  Hugging herself, Sarah settled in and focused on relaxing until the plane touched down.

The weather wasn’t helping.  As Sarah drew closer to her destination, the sky grew darker and more ominous until at last the clouds opened up and a raging storm burst forth.  The plane bucked repeatedly.  The hostesses dropped into their seats and clicked their safety belts without direction.