Second Chances (49 page)

During the drive home, she couldn’t help but think that he really earned that phone number.  The question now became: how long would he wait before he would use it?  Exhausted as she was, Isabella rushed Jessie out of the house.

“At least tell me if you gave him your phone number,” Jessie begged as she found herself being steered towards the door with Steven thrown over one shoulder and his bag over the other.

“Yes,” Isabella said with some degree of exasperation.  “Please, I promise I will call the minute I get home tomorrow.  I am no good on four hours of sleep!”  Finally she had said something that Jessie agreed with, which was why she grumpily headed for the door.

Isabella all but crawled up the stairs, turning off lights as she went.  She checked on the kids, both sleeping in Kyle’s double bed as happened so frequently.  She reached the top of the stairs, threw her clothes in the basket in the closet, and wandered into the bathroom to remove her makeup before dropping into bed.  Just as she finished rinsing off her foaming cleanser the phone began to ring.  Isabella grabbed a towel to blot her face while diving for the phone to keep it from waking the kids.

“Hello,” she said breathlessly, while considering who might be calling her at such an hour.

“Hello, beautiful one,” Gabriel crooned.  “I just wanted to make sure you made it home safely.  I feel better now that I can call and talk to you.  You don’t mind that I called so late, do you?”  Suddenly he realized what could be the reaction to his impulsive act.  Before Isabella could even respond to the first question he asked guiltily, “I didn’t wake the kids, did I?”

Isabella’s breathing had returned to normal, but her heart still beat rapidly.  “No, it’s okay.  The kids are still asleep.  Thank you for checking on me.”

The two chatted for a few more minutes before saying goodnight.  She relished that he could now call and tuck her in.  For a moment she tried to imagine what it might be like if he were actually here to put her to bed. 
No
, she chided herself,
don’t think about that
.  Instead she decided to try and remember when she was last this... giddy over a man.  Hmmm.  Maybe never.  For Mitchel, her first proposal, she had constant butterflies in her stomach, always afraid of offending him, anxious about being caught talking to someone he would disapprove of.  With Jack she was constantly swallowing her sadness, worrying where he was, who he was with, and when he would be home.   Giddiness, well, that was a new feeling altogether.

Almost before she had time to notice, the kids’ school year ended, and summer began.  She spoke to Gabriel virtually every day, as long as their hectic schedules coincided.  He did, after all, have a greater reason for being in town.  She occupied herself with being a mother, gardening, photography, and of course, recording everything in her journal to prepare for her gallery show.  Despite the many distractions she had in her life, Christopher noticed a marked improvement in her work.

“I’m not entirely sure what has changed, Isabella,” he said one afternoon during a lull in their activity.  “All I know is that this is the best I’ve seen from you in a while.”  He paused to compare proofs from the last few days.  “I just want to see you take more risks.  You’re still playing it too safe.”

As Isabella prepared for the 4th of July Barbecue at Jessie’s, an argument erupted between the two women. 

“Bring him,” Jessie ordered.

“I’m not bringing him,” Isabella responded just as firmly.

“How can you bear to spend the holiday away from him?  You two have been dating regularly for almost two months.”  Jessie tried valiantly to change Isabella’s mind.

“It isn’t that.  It’s just that...well, since he has a long weekend off from classes for the holiday, he will be at home.  He’ll call me later, I’m sure.”  She sat on the porch, watching her children play in the sand box out front with all the neighborhood children.

“What is it, Isabella?  Why do you really not want him here?  Or does it have nothing to do with us whatsoever?”  She sighed with irritation.  “I just don’t get you sometimes.  For years you have been attending this bash, first by yourself, then with Rebecca, now most recently with Kyle, but never, and I repeat,
never
with a man by your side.”  She stared at Isabella and watched for a reaction.  “Here you are involved with a man, a
real
man, one who wants to be with you and be a part of your life.  He shows you every chance he gets!  And you barely let him in.”  She closed her spiel with evident exasperation in her voice.

“Listen,” Isabella tried desperately to explain while unable to make eye contact, “I haven’t introduced him to the kids.”

“What?”  Jessie gasped then sat in stunned silence for a moment.

Isabella bit her lip.  “I have never asked him over.  He has never met the kids.”  Her voice grew quiet.  “He has been a separate part of my life.”

“Oh, Isabella,” Jessie sounded sympathetic, “He doesn’t have to be.”

It was true.  Gabriel would welcome an invitation to her house.  On more than one occasion he had suggested that they stay in and watch a movie.  He had offered to make dinner at her place.  He had asked if he could come over and get together with the kids.  Every time Isabella had thought up some excuse, some reason to keep him at bay, far away from her home life. 

In truth, if pressed, Isabella would have to admit that she feared making him a part of her family life.  She liked Gabriel, trusted him even, but she had seen so many confused, heartbroken children that loved one of their mother’s boyfriends after another, and not one remained a permanent fixture in their lives.  She had seen how disappointed they were, feeling that somehow they themselves were to blame for the disappearing would-be parent.  Isabella refused to subject her children to that.  There would be no string of men parading through her home.  There would be no men for her children to grow to love that would only disappoint them later.  She would keep her relationships to herself, separate from her children.  They were her number one concern.  They must be safe and happy.  And so Isabella would go to Jessie’s alone.

The conversation following the barbecue this year differed greatly from last year’s.   Jeff sat with them after the clean up and once the kids were asleep on the floor.  

“So, Isabella, did I hear that you are seeing someone?”  The question evolved innocently enough.

“Well, Jeff, it sounds strange to hear it put that way, but I suppose the answer would be ‘yes.’”  She shot an embarrassed glance Jessie’s direction. 

From Jeff’s arms Jessie stuck out her tongue.  “Honestly, Isabella.  I was there the night you two met.  I have watched the kids every time you have gone out together.  Didn’t you think I was going to tell my husband what I was up to?”

She leaned back and watched them quietly.  Jeff doted on Jessie as she lay there cuddled close in his arms.  Jessie shared every aspect of her life with him.  She had someone to curl up with at the end of a long day, someone to share her hopes and fears with, someone to offer comfort and advice.  Isabella squeezed her eyes shut for a moment against the sadness that washed over her as she realized how sad and alone being with them made her feel.  Maybe she should have brought Gabriel after all.  She sighed.

Upon her arrival home late that night, a
groggy Rebecca quickly pointed out that the answering machine light was blinking.  “Mommy, a message!  Can I push it?” 

Thinking that the message might be from Gabriel she refused her daughter’s innocent request.  “No, Rebecca.  It’s very late.  Go upstairs, get into bed.  I’ll tuck you in momentarily.”  Obediently, Rebecca loped up the stairs.

Once she felt Rebecca was out of ear shot, Isabella activated the machine.  She smiled widely and hugged herself as she heard Gabriel’s voice.  “Hello, beautiful one.  This is the other one.  I just called because I miss you and wanted so badly to hear your voice.  I wish I could be with you right this minute.  I’ll call at precisely midnight.  Wait for me to tuck you in.”  

Glancing at the clock, Isabella realized that she had less than half an hour to wait.  No problem.  In excited anticipation and giggling to herself, she raced up the first flight of stairs to kiss her sleeping kids.  She bent to graze Rebecca’s forehead when two little tiny eyes popped open.

“Mommy, who was that man on the machine?  He calls here a lot.  Can we meet him?”  Rebecca babbled half asleep. 

Sure
, Isabella thought,
you would side with Jessie
.  Then murmured to Rebecca, “Go to sleep, sweetie,” as she tiptoed from the room.

At the top of the stairs Isabella performed her nightly ritual, stripping, washing her face, and going to the bathroom.  She moved the pillows in the shams to the floor beside the bed and gaped at the vacancy they revealed.  She quickly dismissed any thoughts of what it might be like to not have to lie alone every night, and turned to the clock.  Fifteen minutes.  Picking up the book beside her bed, Isabella turned to her reading.  So many changes had transpired, some better than others, that now Isabella had finally been able to enjoy reading for pleasure again.  Before she had an opportunity to become too engrossed in the novel, the phone rang. 

She picked up the receiver while glancing at the clock.  “Midnight precisely.  You are good.”

“How did you know it would be me, Bella?”  He asked with a chuckle. 

Isabella smiled at the warmth she felt through the phone, momentarily gloried in it and resumed the conversation.  “Calling to tuck me in, I presume?”

“Always.  Would you like me to sing to you tonight?”  He chuckled after his offer.

She tilted her head as she pondered a moment.  “Can you sing like Andrea Boccelli?”

A full-blown laugh.  “No, actually.”

Isabella giggled.  “Then tell me a story.”

“How about a fairy tale?  I could tell you the one about a big city business man who finds all the happiness in the world with an amazing small town photographer.”

“Funny.  I’m not familiar with that one.  How does it go?”  Her eyes sparkled in delight as he spoke.

Thus Gabriel began to weave the story of them, spinning a beautiful tale.  Of course, as Isabella loved to listen to him talk, he could have just as easily been telling the history of toilet paper and she would have been as equally enchanted.  Soon enough he arrived at the present and Isabella eagerly awaited the ending.  When the story simply trailed off, she questioned him.  “So how does it end?”  She asked in a dreamy voice.