Second Down (Moving the Chains Book 2) (21 page)

“I want you to hold me,” she whispers.

“You did it wrong again, Papageorgiou,” I mutter even as I climb under the blankets with her. Immediately, she plasters herself against me, wiggling until she’s comfortable. I hold my breath until she stills, then wrap my arms around her. As soon as she falls asleep, I can bail. “All right. Your turn. Truth or dare.”

“Dare.” Of course she picks a dare.

“Excellent. I dare you
not
to stick my hand in a cup of water tonight.”

Her laughter rumbles through me. “Fine. You’re no fun. Truth or dare.”

“Truth.” This could actually work in my favor if she keeps telling me things instead of asking.

“Do you regret this week?” Oh, sure.
Now
she gets the game right.

“What do you mean?” My fingers comb through her hair on autopilot. Stupid fingers. Still, I can’t make myself stop. Her closeness feels so right and so wrong.

She shrugs against me. “I don’t know. You seemed way more relaxed with Kerri today than with me. I can’t tell if you want to chew your own arms off right now or if you want to squeeze me tighter. It’s been like this all week. I guess…I just want to know where we stand.”

“Where do you want us to stand, Evie?” I told her I’d be whatever she wanted me to be. That’s still true.

She pulls out of my embrace and props her head in her hand, staring down at me with a pained expression. “You said Patch and Felix were an early birthday present. You said I wasn’t going to be lonely
with
you. You said you were going to try harder. Did you only mean those things when we’re around other people because you don’t want any more rumors going around about me?” Even in the darkness, the tears in her eyes shine. “I’ve told you where I stand. Where do you?”

The silence stretches out as I carefully consider my words. Her gaze pleads with me. For what, I’m not sure.

“With you. I stand with you, Evie.”
Always.

She bites down on her bottom lip until I finally pry it from her teeth with my fingers. Flopping back down onto the pillows, she lets out a frustrated-sounding huff. The minutes tick by in silence, the distance between us suddenly feeling like the greater of two evils. Tension radiates from her small body until it suffocates me.

I suck. Maybe I would have sucked at being her boyfriend even if the attack had never come between us. That idea offers surprisingly little comfort. No matter what, I’m not good enough.

“We’re not going to Homecoming, are we?” she whispers.

“Do you seriously want to go to Homecoming with me?”

Even though it’s dark, I swear I can feel her roll her eyes. “No, I don’t. I only asked you a million times for shits and giggles. Why do you have to turn everything I ask you into a question for me? Can’t you just give me a straight answer for once?”

Landmines. Landmines as far as the eye can see. No way am I getting out of this intact. I barely made it through the last warzone of Kerri.

Think fast, Falls.

Is it PMS time again already? A little quick math in my head and yep…might be. Hell no am I stupid enough to bring up that suggestion, though.

“Uh, I hate to point out the obvious to you, but you just did the same exact thing by asking me a bunch of questions. I also want to point out that you seem to have selective hearing. You remember all that stuff I said to you, but conveniently forgot I also told you to let me ask for everything.” The night presses down around me, snuffing out all levity. “I told you I don’t want to be anything like Jackson. I don’t want to be like Eddie. Hell, I don’t even want to be like your dad. I’m always going to ask first, Evie.”

She wrinkles her nose, then turns to meet my gaze. “Why do you always bring up Eddie?”

“He hurt you.” Duh.

“I already told you I did that to myself. You need to let it go.”

Oh, I’m never letting that go.

“So…” she trails off. “Now what?”

“Whatever you want.”

Her answering “Arrrgh” echoes through the tent. She rolls onto her side away from me.

I’m so tempted to laugh. Right up until I notice her body shaking though she never makes a sound.

Fuck. Is she crying? Did I make her cry? I’ve done a lot of shitty things to Evie, but crying is new on the list.

Is it me? Is it the PMS? Either way, this can’t be allowed to continue. I scoot closer until I can wrap my arms around her. She doesn’t try to pull away; doesn’t complain when I shove my arm under her pillow even though it tangles her hair.

“What I can do, baby? You want some chocolate? A back rub?”

“You can not call me ‘baby’ and imply I have PMS just because I’m crying, that’s what you can do.”

Damn. I didn’t even realize I called her that. It just slipped out.

“So that’s a yes on the chocolate and back rub, then?”

Tears are still present in her laugh, but she rolls over and burrows into her usual spot. “Why do you have to be so perfect?”

“You know you just answered my question with another question again, right? And I’m not perfect, Evie. Not by a long shot. You were right about me all along. I’m just a dumb jock.”

“You’re the least dumb jock I know,” she sniffles into my neck. “And you are perfect. All the girls at school would kill to be where I am right now.
Including
Kerri.”

“There is
nothing
going on between me and Kerri.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“What are you sorry for?” I run my knuckles up and down her back…the way she liked so much before.

“For crying. I guess I am PMSing.”

I tamp down the urge to laugh at her admission. It’s a sick kind of irony that I know my ex-girlfriend’s cycle so well. I pull her tighter against me and continue rubbing her back. “Is this helping?”

“I don’t have cramps yet. I’m just stupidly emotional,” she mumbles. “Check back next week for the back rubs.”

She wants me around next week? After Homecoming?

I loosen my grip on her and still my hand on her back. “Let me run up to my room and get you some chocolate, then.”

“No, don’t do that.” She sighs, her warm breath fanning over my neck. “We already had s’mores tonight. I…I can’t run anymore. So I need to cut down on the sweets.”

“What else can I do?” I’d still do anything for her.

“Just distract me. Let’s talk about something else.”

“Wanna play truth or dare some more? I could dare you to sneak over to Rachel’s yard and scare the crap out of her and Alex. That could be fun.”

“No, that doesn’t sound like fun. It sounds mean. From someone who was ambushed and is afraid of her own shadow these days, it would be hypocritical of me to scare anyone else.”

I hug her tighter.

“Besides, even if we play truth or dare again, you won’t tell me the truth.”

Man, she’s in a bad mood. What’s Homecoming going to be like if she’s this grumpy now? “I promise you can ask me anything, and I’ll tell you the truth. How’s that?”

“Why is your favorite color blue?” she blurts.

Oh, shit. Way to screw myself over with that promise. I take a deep breath and go for it. “Your eyes are blue, Evie. Your eyes are my favorite color. That’s why there’s so many different shades. I could never find the right one.”

She pulls back enough to look at me, so I hold my breath. How much truth can I safely tell her? As long as she doesn’t ask me anything about what she forgot, this could be okay. Sort of.

I breathe again when her lips spread into a wide grin. “Well? Aren’t you going to ask me something?”

Wait. That’s it? She’s not going to interrogate me over my answer?

She waits patiently while my fucked-up mind tries to find something, anything to say. I think I’m in shock.

“You seriously can’t think of one thing you want to ask me?” she prompts.

“Why don’t you hate me?” She says I make her feel better. That’s not really the same thing as not hating me, right?

She furrows her brow and scrunches her nose in that cute way she does. “Why would I?”

I bite my tongue until I taste blood. I almost
want
to tell her. Explain to her exactly why I’m not the guy to make her feel safe. Tell her that I’m just as bad as the other guys who’ve hurt her. But dammit…I can’t. I’m more of a coward now than I ever was.

Her body relaxes back against the pillows, and her face is an open invitation, but I don’t want to press my luck. Even if I did unload all the reasons she shouldn’t be anywhere near me, no way am I going to risk tripping her memory of all the other things she’s been through.

“Okay, my turn again.” She smiles, so soft, so pretty. “Why don’t you want to go to Homecoming with me?”

And we’re back to this again. “I never said I didn’t.”

“Then why do you keep telling me no?” she fires back.

Mostly because I’m an asshole. But, also… “You said it yourself, Evie. You’ve never gone to a dance before. Guys pull out all the stops to get a girl to go with them. I want to make it nice for you.”

It will be the last chance I get. The only chance to treat her the way I would have before I fucked it all up.

Her eyebrows climb up her forehead. “The dance is in three days. We’re already paired together for court. If you make some big scene at school, that’s going to look weird.”

Shit. She’s right.

“I don’t need a grand gesture, Rob. Really. I just need you to say yes.”

“This from the girl who explained the big three to me? Flowers, chocolate, and jewelry ring a bell?”

She shoves her face into the pillow. It’s hard to make out her muffled words. “I don’t need any of that stuff. I was just trying to get you back on the horse. To not give up. I’m not that kind of girl.”

“What kind of girl are you, then?” Throw me a bone, here. If I thought I was drowning in unfamiliar territory with her before, everything since is an epic failure. I still don’t have a playbook for any of this, but I did promise her I’d try harder.

She mumbles something completely incoherent into the pillow.

I scoot closer and nudge her, so she’ll come up for air. “I didn’t catch that. Wanna try again?”

She whimpers before lifting her face ever so slightly. “I said…I was hoping…maybe…your girl?”

I open and close my mouth no less than fifty times, but I still can’t find any words. I’m so unprepared for this blitz that I might as well be a rookie, lying flat on my back and wondering what in the hell just happened after a brain-jarring tackle.

Suddenly Evie pops up from her face plant, pulling a single blanket around her until she’s wrapped up like a burrito. She rolls away from me, shaking her head and mumbling to herself.

She finally clears her throat. “Just forget it. Good night.”

Forget it?
Forget it?

The only thing I’ve forgotten is how to breathe.

I scoot closer and gently roll her onto her back. Her eyes are squeezed tightly shut like she can’t bear to look at me. Now, this seems more like what I expect from her.

“Evie?”

She shakes her head back and forth furiously until I put a hand on her cheek to stop the motion.

“Are we still playing truth or…truth?”

“No,” she squeaks out.

“Do you…” I suck in a breath, but my lungs aren’t working. “Do you
want
to be my girl?”

She shakes her head again. “Mm-mm. No. Nope.”

A stupid grin breaks out on my face that I can’t hold back. I shouldn’t be allowed to feel this happy after everything. Shouldn’t get any more chances. But…hell. She’s just called second down, and I didn’t even know I was still on the drive.

“So, when you say ‘nope,’ that means you’re lying?”

She cracks one eye open. “That depends. What are we discussing?”

I bark out a laugh that doesn’t even sound like me anymore. “You being my girl, remember?”

The mood shifts as she bites her lip and furrows her brow. “I don’t remember a lot of things.”

“Yeah,” I sigh and roll onto my back. “Don’t worry. I have enough memories for the both of us.”

“So you’re in charge of them? I only get to have what you’ll give me?”

When she says it like that… Am I really willing to play this dangerous game, though? Just because she hasn’t remembered anything until now doesn’t mean she never will. What then?

“Are you ever going to tell me anything I don’t remember?” Her voice sounds so sad, so sullen.

“Nope. I’m not. Here’s what I will do, though.” I roll up onto my side to face her, trying to hold onto this little spark of hope. It can’t be this easy…can it? “I’m going to take you to Homecoming. I’m going to make sure you have an amazing time. And I’m going to give you as much chocolate and as many back rubs as you want next week. And then the following week? If you want to try running again, I’ll go with you. Deal?”

My offer is rejected soundly when she faces away from me again, right back to crying.